Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl charcters. Except for Gunther. He's mine.
Excerpt from Artemis Fowl's Diary. Disk One. Encrypted.
Today is my last day with access to my computer system. Mother and Father are determined to make me attend St Bartleby's again.
The search for the culprit of the contact lenses has should promising, yet interesting results. Butler went to visit a friend in Limerick, but was told that he had actually ordered those specific lenses. It was quite obvious that he was lying, but showed us some camera footage of Butler leaving his shop. I suspect this is computer generated and a trick, although I cannot be certain at this particular moment.
I have tried to make my parents understand that I do not need schooling. They are not so sure. Mother says that I need to become friends with someone, as I do not socialise with other teenagers. Father believes that it is probably best if I continue with conselling, as Mother has told him about what that pathetic Doctor Po said.
But no worries. I will get myself out of school. And the culprit for making those lenses will be sorry they ever messed with Artemis Fowl the Second.
St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen County Wicklow Ireland
Juliet Butler barged into Room 208 laden with suitcases, Artemis's treasured laptop held securely in her right hand. There was a small, almost weedy looking boy sitting on one of the beds. He had mousy-hair and inquisitive brown eyes.
"Are you my new roomie? I didn't know we were going to be going co-ed until I was told that I was sharing a room with Art...Arte...e..mis Fowl." He struggled to read the name off a small piece of paper.
Juliet placed one of the larger suitcases on the floor. "No, I'm not your new roomie."
The boy looked puzzled. "Well, who is then? I mean you're a girl and everything."
A pale, dark-haired boy stepped out from behind Juliet. "For your information," he began coldly, "Artemis Fowl is not a girl."
"Who is this Artemis Fowl person then?"
"You're looking at him."
"Oh, it's you. I thought you were a girl because, you know, Artemis is a girl's name." He jumped off the bed a held out his hand. "I'm Gunther," he squeaked. "Gunther Perk. You can call me Grunty."
Juliet was trying and failing miserably at suppressing a giggle.
Artemis ignored the gesture. "Please say that I am not expected to pay ten thousand a term to not even have my own room. Juliet, I thought Father ordered a private room."
"He did. This must just be a mistake," said Juliet.
"Nah," chirped Gunther. "They ran out of private rooms so you're stuck with me. We're gonna have so much fun." Suddenly, he spotted the laptop in Juliet's hand. "Wow, is that a laptop. Do you have solitaire? I love solitaire. I'm a champion at solitaire. We can stay up late, tell manly stories, play solitaire, and tomorrow morning, their making waffles. I love Shrek too. Oh, and their not actually making waffles. It just sounds good."
Artemis raised an eyebrow, choosing to ignore Juliet, who was now shaking with silent laughter. "I do don't own solitaire."
"Sure, you do," squealed Gunther. He grabbed the laptop and began searching through Artemis's various programs. "Everyone owns solitaire."
Artemis sighed and turned to Juliet. "Would you please inform Butler to keep my parents away from my computers, back at the manor, while I'm gone."
Gunther was now uncontrollably excited. "Wow, you live in a manor? I live in a semi-detached in Suffolk."
Juliet nodded. "Just one thing, Artemis. Why am I the one here and not Butler?"
Artemis sighed again. "I'm afraid Butler was not able to make it up the stairs."
"And you have a butler?" squeaked Gunther, yet again. "How rich are you people?"
Juliet laid down the last of the suitcases and made for the door. "Well, I better go now. You know, to leave you two to get to know each other, seeing as you're going to be roommates for the next year," Juliet finished off mockingly. "Good luck Artemis." And she left.
Artemis gazed disapprovingly around the small room.
"Hey, mate. I know you've got solitaire here somewhere. I don't know anyone who doesn't have it. You're just afraid I'll beat your high score, you are," Gunther commented.
Artemis shot Gunther a piercing glare. "Firstly, Grunty, my high score would probably be higher than any programmed into the game. And, secondly, I do not own solitaire, or any other video game for that matter."
Gunther finally seemed to be becoming bored. "Yeah, whatever." He tossed the laptop onto his bed. "Hey, listen. I'm gonna go see my friend in room 213. It's just down the corridor if you need any help." He grinned at Artemis and skipped out of the room.
Artemis strolled over to Gunther's bed and picked up his laptop, checking for any damage. It seemed to be intact. He would have to make sure that it was switch off whenever this Gunther was present in the room. No doubt Artemis's password was miles too complicated for Gunther to work out.
Excerpt from Artemis Fowl's Diary. Disk One. Encrypted.
Today is my last day with access to my computer system. Mother and Father are determined to make me attend St Bartleby's again.
The search for the culprit of the contact lenses has should promising, yet interesting results. Butler went to visit a friend in Limerick, but was told that he had actually ordered those specific lenses. It was quite obvious that he was lying, but showed us some camera footage of Butler leaving his shop. I suspect this is computer generated and a trick, although I cannot be certain at this particular moment.
I have tried to make my parents understand that I do not need schooling. They are not so sure. Mother says that I need to become friends with someone, as I do not socialise with other teenagers. Father believes that it is probably best if I continue with conselling, as Mother has told him about what that pathetic Doctor Po said.
But no worries. I will get myself out of school. And the culprit for making those lenses will be sorry they ever messed with Artemis Fowl the Second.
St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen County Wicklow Ireland
Juliet Butler barged into Room 208 laden with suitcases, Artemis's treasured laptop held securely in her right hand. There was a small, almost weedy looking boy sitting on one of the beds. He had mousy-hair and inquisitive brown eyes.
"Are you my new roomie? I didn't know we were going to be going co-ed until I was told that I was sharing a room with Art...Arte...e..mis Fowl." He struggled to read the name off a small piece of paper.
Juliet placed one of the larger suitcases on the floor. "No, I'm not your new roomie."
The boy looked puzzled. "Well, who is then? I mean you're a girl and everything."
A pale, dark-haired boy stepped out from behind Juliet. "For your information," he began coldly, "Artemis Fowl is not a girl."
"Who is this Artemis Fowl person then?"
"You're looking at him."
"Oh, it's you. I thought you were a girl because, you know, Artemis is a girl's name." He jumped off the bed a held out his hand. "I'm Gunther," he squeaked. "Gunther Perk. You can call me Grunty."
Juliet was trying and failing miserably at suppressing a giggle.
Artemis ignored the gesture. "Please say that I am not expected to pay ten thousand a term to not even have my own room. Juliet, I thought Father ordered a private room."
"He did. This must just be a mistake," said Juliet.
"Nah," chirped Gunther. "They ran out of private rooms so you're stuck with me. We're gonna have so much fun." Suddenly, he spotted the laptop in Juliet's hand. "Wow, is that a laptop. Do you have solitaire? I love solitaire. I'm a champion at solitaire. We can stay up late, tell manly stories, play solitaire, and tomorrow morning, their making waffles. I love Shrek too. Oh, and their not actually making waffles. It just sounds good."
Artemis raised an eyebrow, choosing to ignore Juliet, who was now shaking with silent laughter. "I do don't own solitaire."
"Sure, you do," squealed Gunther. He grabbed the laptop and began searching through Artemis's various programs. "Everyone owns solitaire."
Artemis sighed and turned to Juliet. "Would you please inform Butler to keep my parents away from my computers, back at the manor, while I'm gone."
Gunther was now uncontrollably excited. "Wow, you live in a manor? I live in a semi-detached in Suffolk."
Juliet nodded. "Just one thing, Artemis. Why am I the one here and not Butler?"
Artemis sighed again. "I'm afraid Butler was not able to make it up the stairs."
"And you have a butler?" squeaked Gunther, yet again. "How rich are you people?"
Juliet laid down the last of the suitcases and made for the door. "Well, I better go now. You know, to leave you two to get to know each other, seeing as you're going to be roommates for the next year," Juliet finished off mockingly. "Good luck Artemis." And she left.
Artemis gazed disapprovingly around the small room.
"Hey, mate. I know you've got solitaire here somewhere. I don't know anyone who doesn't have it. You're just afraid I'll beat your high score, you are," Gunther commented.
Artemis shot Gunther a piercing glare. "Firstly, Grunty, my high score would probably be higher than any programmed into the game. And, secondly, I do not own solitaire, or any other video game for that matter."
Gunther finally seemed to be becoming bored. "Yeah, whatever." He tossed the laptop onto his bed. "Hey, listen. I'm gonna go see my friend in room 213. It's just down the corridor if you need any help." He grinned at Artemis and skipped out of the room.
Artemis strolled over to Gunther's bed and picked up his laptop, checking for any damage. It seemed to be intact. He would have to make sure that it was switch off whenever this Gunther was present in the room. No doubt Artemis's password was miles too complicated for Gunther to work out.