I've revised my story... Thank you to all those who complimented it, but I've come to see that, in short, it sucked.
This isn't a terribly good re-writing, but it's better than the first. And I'm a little less crazy about those 'ssss's this time around. It was fun to read outloud, too. Well, enjoy. A revision of the (dramatic music) very first Lord of the Rings Fanfic on ever! (end dramatic music w/ crescendo)
Yess, my preciouss. I will tell you the sstory of my birthday, yess. How you became my beautiful, beloved, preciouss...
A long time ago, my preciouss, I lived in a village with my friendss and family. Yess, and I jusst sspent my time sstudying rootss and other pointlesss... living... thingss. I often went sswimming with my friendss. Friendss, yess, friends, needless, my preciouss. Of no usse. I only need you...
Yess, I went sswimming many timess, I did.
One day, on my birthday, my preciouss, I sswam with my friend. Deagol; he had a sssharp eye, the stupid hobbit had. Yesss, very sharp. Like knivess, they were, my preciouss. Knives draw blood. He and I sswam along the river, looking for baubless on the bottom. A passt-time, we had, you might call it. Passtimes... I do not misss. Yesss, if you'll excuse the pun, preciouss. We ssearched... My friend, that hobbit, he sspotted you, he saw my preciouss. Deagol ssped down to the bottom to gets you. He picks it up and examiness it, the greedy thing. I look over at you, my precious. Yess, I am caught like a fly in your web,
I swim over to my friend. I sayss "Givess it to me. It'ss my birthday, preciouss!" The fool refusses, doubting my strength. I holdss out my hand, insisting, "Givesss it to me, now!" I ssayss again. Oncce again, he refuess. Yess, I needed you, my preciousss. If I had been drowning in that pond there, I would have assked for you before air.
I chokess my friend... It wass my birthday, after all. And he deservess it. I grabss you and putsss you on. Yes, I cleverly hide my friendss body. No one'sss to find it, my preciouss.
Whenss I get out of the water and go to my village, I disscoverss no one can ssee me. I create much misschief. Whenss I finally takess you off, they banisssh me. They not wantss me, ssso here I am. In thiss dark cave. Nobody wants me.
You ssee, my precioussss. I need no one. Jusst you.
This isn't a terribly good re-writing, but it's better than the first. And I'm a little less crazy about those 'ssss's this time around. It was fun to read outloud, too. Well, enjoy. A revision of the (dramatic music) very first Lord of the Rings Fanfic on ever! (end dramatic music w/ crescendo)
Yess, my preciouss. I will tell you the sstory of my birthday, yess. How you became my beautiful, beloved, preciouss...
A long time ago, my preciouss, I lived in a village with my friendss and family. Yess, and I jusst sspent my time sstudying rootss and other pointlesss... living... thingss. I often went sswimming with my friendss. Friendss, yess, friends, needless, my preciouss. Of no usse. I only need you...
Yess, I went sswimming many timess, I did.
One day, on my birthday, my preciouss, I sswam with my friend. Deagol; he had a sssharp eye, the stupid hobbit had. Yesss, very sharp. Like knivess, they were, my preciouss. Knives draw blood. He and I sswam along the river, looking for baubless on the bottom. A passt-time, we had, you might call it. Passtimes... I do not misss. Yesss, if you'll excuse the pun, preciouss. We ssearched... My friend, that hobbit, he sspotted you, he saw my preciouss. Deagol ssped down to the bottom to gets you. He picks it up and examiness it, the greedy thing. I look over at you, my precious. Yess, I am caught like a fly in your web,
I swim over to my friend. I sayss "Givess it to me. It'ss my birthday, preciouss!" The fool refusses, doubting my strength. I holdss out my hand, insisting, "Givesss it to me, now!" I ssayss again. Oncce again, he refuess. Yess, I needed you, my preciousss. If I had been drowning in that pond there, I would have assked for you before air.
I chokess my friend... It wass my birthday, after all. And he deservess it. I grabss you and putsss you on. Yes, I cleverly hide my friendss body. No one'sss to find it, my preciouss.
Whenss I get out of the water and go to my village, I disscoverss no one can ssee me. I create much misschief. Whenss I finally takess you off, they banisssh me. They not wantss me, ssso here I am. In thiss dark cave. Nobody wants me.
You ssee, my precioussss. I need no one. Jusst you.