Dreams of power
Chapter 20:
By nine o' clock that night they were back in the city of Domino. Marik and Malik wanted to go back to their house to watch the results that night. As you may or may not know... Marik never does anything on a low scale. He and Malik invited everyone they knew to their 'Marik's going to rule you all' party.
No surprise that Yami and Yugi didn't show. They weren't invited anyway. But Kaiba and Sanders were there, of course. So were Ryou and Bakura along with Joey, Tristan, Duke and Mai.
About two or three news reporters were there. They were going around the room interviewing people who hadn't fallen down drunk or people who weren't in the closet doing who knows what.
Marik made Kaiba buy an 82-inch screen T.V just for the occasion. A good chunk of Kaiba's pocket money was also spent on food, drinks, and Pepto-Bismol. Decorations consisted of confetti, balloons, and party games. Marik's favorite game was something he made up, called 'Pin the tail on the Kerry.'
"Woo-whoo!" Joey shouted, "I finally did it!" after three tries, Joey had finally stuck the tail in the center of Kerry's butt.
"My turn, my turn!" Ryou said from behind him.
Joey put the blindfold on Ryou and handed him the tail. As Ryou groped around the room to find the poster, Joey went to go find Marik. He hadn't had a chance to congratulate him on getting this far in the election.
When he finally found him, Marik was wrestling the remote away from Malik who was trying to keep the channel on the Golden Girls.
"No, Malik! We have to keep the channel on the news! What if they show the results right when we turn the channel?!"
"What are the odds of that happening?"
"A billion to one. But it could still happen!" he tugged one more time on the remote, and sent Malik tumbling off the couch.
"Ouch..." He rubbed his head and looked up to see his yami flip back to the Fox News station.
A man came on screen, "In about an hour we should have the results of the voting today..." He went on to say how exciting this night is.
"See, Marik? An hour."
"Oh, well. We're keeping it here." He turned around to see Joey standing behind the couch, "Oh, hey Joey."
"...Uh, hey Marik. Congrats on winning the-"
Marik's hand covered Joey's mouth, "No! You can't say I'm gonna... you know, beat Kerry until afterwards."
"How come?" he asked through Marik's hand.
"It's bad luck, silly. If you say that, I'll be cursed to lose."
He pushed Marik's hand away, "You're the one being silly. I can't believe you think that. It's like believing in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause."
"It is not. Besides, Santa is real."
"You're insane."
"Maybe so... but I'm going to be president soon."
"Ugh... don't remind me." Joey walked off towards one of the food tables.
After Malik stood up he looked behind him to see Kaiba and Sanders, they were waiting for him to notice them standing there for about two minutes, "Oh, hey guys. Are you enjoying the party?"
"I still think you're over doing it with this huge party, Malik." Kaiba said, "I mean really, do you even know most of these people? I've never seen some of these people before."
"Neither have I. Marik says he hasn't seen some of these people either. I guess they must have just walked in."
Sanders' jaw dropped, "What?! You're letting crashers in here? What's wrong with you? That's dangerous! They could have guns or something!"
"Big crowds are fun! It makes the festivities more interesting. Ryou thinks that guy over there is a hobo. I'm not entirely sure, though..." he pointed to a guy sitting in the corner drinking a bottle of vodka. He was wrapped in a smelly blanket and had a grayish beard.
"...I can't believe this..." Sanders and Kaiba said in unison.
"Can't believe what?" Marik came over, "What's wrong?"
"You have hobo's in you're house, you dunce!"
"Really? Where?"
Kaiba pointed his finger towards the smelly vagrant in the corner. Marik looked over at him and smiled, "Oh, him? No, he isn't homeless. He lives on the number #23 bus. His name is Potato Joe. Don't worry about him... he won't do anything. Uh, just don't ask him where his toes went. You'll regret it forever."
"This is ridiculous." Kaiba sighed.
"Anyway, Kaiba, could you take over for a while? Malik and me are going to the store to get more ice. We need you to watch the party while we're gone. Can you do that? We'll be back before they announce the results of the voting."
"What? Why me?"
"You're the most responsible person we know." Malik answered, "Later Kaiba. Take good care of our house." They walked out the front door and left Kaiba and Sanders in the living room
"Oh, great." Sanders shook his head, "My fondest wish... to be left in charge of a party with hobos, drunk teens, and Pepto-Bismol. I've sunk to an all time low..."
"Oh, relax. They'll only be gone for twenty minutes... how much can happen in twenty minutes?"
"Hey Kaiba!" Bakura came over, "You seen Marik or Malik? We got a problem."
"They went to the store. I'm in charge until they get back. Um, what's the problem?"
"Well, two naked hobos are in the kitchen wrestling over a sandwich. It's causing a bit of a crowd... Ryou sent me in here to tell Marik."
"What?! Why are they doing that? Last time I checked there were plenty of sandwiches in the kitchen."
"Well, there are. But that's the last one with turkey bacon. It's low fat."
"Why the hell should hobos care about losing weight?!"
"I dunno, but you need to get in there before they tear the kitchen apart."
"Aw, man!"
So, they rushed into the kitchen to see exactly what Bakura was talking about. After pushing through a small crowd, they could see the middle of the kitchen floor. And sure enough two dirty, smelly, naked hobos were going at it. Kaiba recognized one of the hobos as 'Potato Joe' from in the living room. His dirty blanket was cast aside near the refrigerator door. Kaiba supposed the other hobo just came naked...
"This is disgusting. Grown men should act more appropriately in public." Sanders said.
"Man, what do you really expect from hobos? They eat from garbage cans!" Kaiba tiptoed closer to the fight, "Hey! Excuse me! Do you think you could... stop, please? Hey, listen to me!"
A little yelp came from Potato Joe who just got slung over to the opposite side of the room by the other one. I guess having no toes is really a disadvantage in this kind of situation.
"Kaiba, do something!" Ryou called from behind his yami, "They already knocked over the cupcakes!"
Kaiba ignored him as he tried to help Potato Joe off the ground, as nasty as it was to touch a naked hobo he had to do it. The other one was over at the counter chomping away at his turkey bacon sandwich.
Half of it was gone when Potato Joe found his footing and rushed over to see the hobo take another bite. Before he could finish it off Joe slapped the sandwich out of his hand and it flew over to hit Sanders in the face.
"Ah! Help me!" He squeaked as the hungry hobo's jumped on him and started to eat the sandwich off his face, "Mrm!" A mumble came from Sanders as he tried to fight them off.
"Ugh!" Kaiba groaned in disbelief, "Bad things happen when Marik and Malik are around and bad things happen when they aren't... I just can't win!"
As Ryou and Bakura helped Sanders fight off the now full hobos he sighed, "Kaiba! Why didn't you help me?"
"Sorry, Sanders. But I was busy contemplating the ways of my pathetic life."
"Well, I think-"
THUD! He was cut off by a crash upstairs. BOOM! It came again, this time louder. Everyone in the kitchen looked up at in the ceiling.
"Oh, what now?" Kaiba said to himself, "Alright, I'm going to see what's happening upstairs. Bakura, you come with me. Ryou, you help Sanders clean the kitchen."
Bakura followed him up the stairs into the hallway. All the doors were closed. Kaiba motioned for Bakura to check the rooms on the left side and he would check the right.
When Kaiba looked inside the attic, there were about ten couples making out. Same thing for the master bedroom... but nothing too abnormal to cause a loud thud, not a thud as loud as the one they heard, anyway.
"Hey, Kaiba. I think I found the cause of that noise we heard." Bakura was standing by the bathroom door.
Kaiba walked over and peeked inside, "Oh, hell no!"
There was a fountain coming out of the toilet. Kind of like the ones you see out side of places like Disney World... or the bank.
"What the hell happened here?!" Kaiba directed this remark to the man standing next to the toilet with a wrench in his hand.
"Uh... I fixed the toilet." He said in his country accent.
"It didn't need fixing!"
"You mean this isn't 5657 Richmond Street?"
"No, it's not. Wait a minute, who the hell are you?"
"I'm your friendly neighborhood plumber, Gus. I got a call a little while ago about a broken toilet. I knocked on the door and some naked, dirty man let me in."
"Damn hobos." Kaiba mumbled, "Listen, Gus. This isn't 5657 Richmond Street. So, go fix someone else's toilet."
"Uh, okay." He stumbled out the door and proceeded down stairs.
"How are we gonna fix what that guy obviously broke?" Bakura took a step back because the water was starting to touch his shoes, "Should I get a mop?"
"Yeah... I'll, uh, fix the toilet."
"Right." Bakura went out and soon came back with a mop and a wrench that he wrestled away from Gus. He handed the wrench to Kaiba, and he set to work.
Five minutes into the job Bakura stopped mopping to look at Kaiba, "Jeez, I didn't know you were so handy with a wrench, Kaiba."
"Hanging around with Marik and Malik... I'm handy with a lot of things."
"I see."
Two more minutes and the mopping and fixing were all finished. Just as soon as they put up the stuff they used, Marik and Malik walked through the door.
"Uh, hey guys." Kaiba said, slouching back into the couch. "Back already?"
"Sorry, it took us longer than expected." Malik said, "We were surrounded by fans. That's gotta be a good sign, right?"
Marik sat down beside Kaiba, "So, anything happen while we were gone?"
"Well... No, not really."
"I'm going to put the ice up before it melts," Malik walked into the kitchen, once he got there he noticed it was much cleaner than when they left.
"I have just been informed that we now have the voting results." The anchorman on the news said.
"Hey, hey!" Sanders called, "Malik, come in here! They're about to announce the results! Someone, turn it up!"
"I'm coming!" Malik rushed into the living room and jumped on the couch, "Oh, this is so exciting!"
Soon, everyone in the entire house was gathered around the T.V. The music was turned completely off and it was dead quite as they awaited the man to speak once again.
The man was handed an envelope and as he opened it, "And now, I am proud to announce to all of America... The president of, this, our great nation for the next four years will be...