A/N: I said it wouldn't be long. You can trust me, dammit.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I own a block of Swedish cheese, a lock of Trent Reznor's hair, and Want One by Rufus Wainwright.
WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. IT INVOLVES RELATIONSHIPS OF A GRAPHIC NATURE BETWEEN TWO MEMBERS OF THE SAME SEX. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Dedicated to all the sick fucktards like myself who enjoy the thought of a werewolf and an escaped convict shagging each other senseless. Cheers!
Chapter #4: The Werewolf's Out Of The Bag
Lily waved as Sirius sauntered out the door.
Just as she shut the door behind her, she heard a small snapping sound emitting from the hearth.
Questioningly, she approached the fireplace, raising her eyebrows at the sight of Remus' head amidst the dancing flames.
"It's been such a long time since I've seen you, Rem!" Said Lily smiling. She knelt down and swept her cherry hair out of her face. "What have you been up to, this evening?"
Remus frowned. "Well, I'm in a bit of a jam."
"Oh, really..." Lily tried to sound surprised.
"Afraid so." Remus bit his lip. "You see... Sirius isn't quite convinced of his ... um... well... manhood, shall we say, at the moment."
"Problems in bed, eh?" Lily supressed a laugh.
Remus nodded grimly. "Sirius is disappointed in his skills in... um... bed, tried talking to him last night about it, and I even did what the sexual health book said-." (Lily raised an eyebrow)—", but he's still convinced he's the most horrible lover on the planet. Thinks he's going through a midlife crisis, you know?"
"Oh, I know all too well." At least Remus wasn't afraid to share.
"I really need a way to bring him out of the limbo; I need to assure him that his –love- skills are as good as they were ten years ago, if not, better."
Lily looked up pensively. "Well... that's a problem... Uh... is there anything Sirius did that really turned you on?"
Remus smiled. "Well, there was that one night he stripped us both down, and then came up behind me and reached around so he could stroke my—."
Suddenly there was the loud clanging of a clock coming from Remus' end of the line. Remus looked up. "Oh, dear, the clock wasn't wound last night... anyway, Lil, I need help, but Sirius is coming back from the market and I have to make tea."
Lily smiled. "Well, if all else fails, you could always put aphrodisiacs in the tea."
Very, very short chapter. Don't worry, though, I'll get a much longer one up!
-The Absynth Fairy