A/N: I'm back, my little bacon bits!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. And I do not own the Thigh Master, so don't ask. The title to this chapter is a song by Rufus Wainwright, so I do not own. Give full credit of the title to Rufie-kins and full credit of creative use to me or my gay little muse (Graham Norton).
WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT ON NOW, YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE.
Dedicated to: My sexy, sexy reviewers. Rawwwr.
Also, if you just happen to see # or any other type of strange symbol, it is used as a star note. If a certain word or phrase has that symbol, there is a note at the end of the fic that refers to it.
Chapter # 5: Instant Pleasure
Remus watched the teakettle from his vantage point at the table wearily, his head resting limply on his propped up arm.
It had been at least five minutes since he'd last spoken with Lily and put the tea on the stove. It had been exactly four minutes since he'd decided not to put aphrodisiacs in the tea. It had been precisely three minutes before he'd plopped down in one of the wooden chairs sitting primly at the table. It had been two minutes since he'd lost composure and slid down to rest his head on his propped-up arm. It had been one minute since he'd decided to track the time.
He sighed.
The prospect of lacing the tea with aphrodisiacs sounded very, very inviting.
Remus smiled, rising from his chair with a purpose.
Sirius' Point Of ViewSirius sauntered excitedly through the front door, walking out over the empty sitting room, void of life, but not lacking in a healthy clutter of shabby furniture. He frowned a little. Might need a new coffee table, he thought, or maybe a nice colorful throw rug to throw off the dankness of the dark-colored walls.
Wait...
What the bloody Hell was he doing, thinking about sitting room enhancement when he had a perfectly desirable werewolf to seduce in the kitchen?
He sniffed like an old hound and caught the scent of fresh boiling tea wafting in from the kitchen. He smiled broadly.
The perfectly desirable werewolf in question was standing over the stove, tending to a kettle of tea.
Sirius leant against the doorframe for a moment, breathing in the sweet aroma of herbs and tealeaves before proceeding to his lover and placing a suave kiss on the pale curve of his cheek from behind, the scent of the herbal tea growing much stronger. Be damned if that tea was different in a certain way, but he couldn't quite place it.
"Hello, love," Sirius purred into Remus' ear, wrapping his arms around the werewolf's tiny little waist.
Remus stirred the tea quietly and smiled to himself. "Back already, dear?" He looked up at Sirius happily.
"Oh, how could you possibly guess?" Sirius kissed Lupin's ear softly.
"Call it helpful intuition, darling." Remus said, still tending to the tea. "What's in the bag, Sirius?" He asked quite suddenly.
Sirius' attention was drawn back abruptly to the brown paper bag clutched in his hand. He'd forgotten all about it as soon as he'd hit his doorstep.
"Oh, nothing..." Sirius said nonchalantly. After he'd left the Potters', he'd taken the liberty of stopping at the local muggle grocery store and purchased a bit of Remus' natural aphrodisiac: Chocolate.
Sirius smiled secretly. If this didn't get Remus in the mood to shag until his pelvic bones turned into a fine powder, then their relationship would be quite doomed indeed. After all, chocolate had always worked before.
Sirius' smile grew into a wild grin as the memory his gift to his lover on his twentieth birthday came back to him. It was a fairly inexpensive box of chocolate truffles and a very shiny and expensive-looking bottle of pink champagne. The activities that had ensued that very night were nothing short of euphoric.
And then there was the year before when he'd surprised his lovely Remus with a box of chocolate covered cherries one warm and cozy December evening. No matter how much Sirius bathed after that night, there were still certain areas of his body that remained slightly sticky for days.
And not to mention the time he'd just happened upon a can chocolate-flavored whipped cream at the grocery department. He'd bought it along with the ingredients to that night's supper# and brought it home to Remus in good humor and amusement. The night (and some parts of the morning) turned out to be more than amusing for the both of them. Sirius vaguely recalled that the sheets on their bed had to be stripped and quarantined the day after. Even after that, the stickiness was still an issue.
In fact, chocolate had been the very start of their relationship. Chocolate had inspired their first kiss#. And it was after sharing a box of chocolate covered strawberries that they'd had their first snog together. And it was with a bottle of chocolate sauce and a clever silencing spell that they'd both lost their virginity#.
Not to forget, it was after a shared piece of chocolate cake that Sirius had proposed to Remus
Point blank, if it weren't for chocolate there might not have been a relationship at all.
If this didn't work, than Sirius would probably have to cut off his—
The tea kettle whistled loudly and Sirius' head shot up.
"Tea's done!" Remus said briskly, and he lifted the kettle off the burner.
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# You would assume that the ingredients would have been used, but due to the event of the can of chocolate-flavored whipped cream, they skipped dinner and went straight for the desert.
## Again, the stickiness was an issue.
### Or at least Remus had. And by now the stickiness had become a necessity.
####The stickiness was not an issue at that particular moment, but Sirius was starting to miss it.
Wow. This was quick. Wasn't as long as I thought, but I promise! Ah, so I got a little Good Omens friendly with this one. Someone might like it, I know I most certainly do. Something tells me I should really start writing Good Omens slash. Mmmmm. Crowley, Aziraphale, and a bottle of Yoo Hoo. One can dream...
-The Absynth Fairy