To Love the Dead
By Riquisel Yutifae
Author's Note: This is so twisted so I'm sorry! … Just supposedly if Cloud dies after Advent Children… well, the fic starts there. Feh. Hey, this is a just a fic, alright???! Anyway, some characters I based from General Quistis and Zhakeena's fics… oh you'll know who they are.
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A few days after they found out that Cloud Strife had died in the Church in Sector 6 for unknown causes, Tifa Lockheart decided to take a visit in the place where her old friend had died.
Nobody even told her or the others where his body is, but the people who saw him lying on the ground and cold stiff just said that they sent the body straight to the morgue for embalming and then burial on the same afternoon. Tifa was angry because nobody even informed her that her friend had died already… and they hid the truth from her.
She wasn't even able to see him for the last time, even before burial. They would not even tell her where he was buried.
Frustrated, she just decided to drop by in the Church, even though she was still hurting inside.
She has gotten over the sad fact that she had once thought she was in-love with him, but still, she was concerned about his welfare because she has considered herself to be his best friend, even though he was not aware of it, she still watched him behind his back, making sure he is safe and alright… all for the sake of another friend that she also dearly misses.
As she walked down the aisle of the Church going to the altar, she just stared up at the cross with a hurtful smile on her face while trying to fight back her own tears. Upon reaching the altar, she stopped and just looked down at the flowers growing before it.
The flowers seemed to be more beautiful today, she thought. She just smiled bitterly. "Are you happy now?" she asked in a hoarse whisper as if talking to Cloud and Aerith.
She wished she could hear her giggling of excitement upon seeing Cloud again; yeah, it would make Tifa happy to know that her friends are happy. And she wished she could also see Cloud smile once more upon seeing Aerith again. It would make her relieved to know that she can finally completely move on.
But there is neither laughter nor smiles.
Instead, she heard silence.
Sighing heavily, she just turned around, deciding to leave, but something caught her attention, turning to one corner of the altar and seeing something. She approached it.
A piece of paper.
She got it and saw that there were some scribbles on it.
But she couldn't determine whose handwriting was it. For sure it didn't belong to Cloud because she had seen his handwriting and it wasn't anything like the one she was reading. Instead, the handwriting on this certain piece of paper looked… neat… despite the fact that the paper was crumpled. The writings read:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
She just stared at it in wonder. "What?" she thought silently.
"Tifa?"
She jerked in surprise and just hid the piece of paper in her pocket as she instantly turned around to face Reno who was staring strangely at her from the entrance of the Church. "Y…yes? Good… afternoon..." She greeted with a sad smile on her face, although she was surprised to see him.
The Turk approached her while looking around the place. "You're not supposed to be here. Didn't you see the sign outside?" he asked.
She just blinked. "N…no." she replied simply.
Well, actually she saw the big sign saying "Danger: Off Limits." But she just ignored it and went on inside. Ever since the incident on Cloud's death, ShinRa had decided to keep the Church on Quarantine just in case there are still traces of GeoStigma in that place… since Cloud lived there before.
"Well, what are you doing in here?" he asked her.
"Just… looking around, reminiscing." She replied simply.
Rude arrived and stared strangely at them.
Tifa just smiled and bowed down her head. "I'd better go home now…" she said before going past them, but she stopped when Reno called her attention again, "Hey,"
She turned to face them.
"By any chance, did you see anything… unusual in this place?" Reno asked curiously.
"Like what? Ghosts?" Tifa asked rather jokingly.
Reno laughed. "Nah… something like… old artifacts." He told her.
The first thing that entered her mind was the piece of paper with the "poem" on it… well, if ever it was a poem. It sounded more like instructions on how to love the dead.
"Like what?" she asked, wanting to be specific.
Reno turned to Rude, as if giving him the signal to explain to Tifa what they really mean. Rude cleared his throat before he began, "Well… we're actually looking for something… for the President. But since he's gone too…"
Reno just piped in, "Before he died, he handed something to Cloud. Since Cloud lived here, it could be just… somewhere around here."
Silence.
"It's… written on this piece of paper. I think it's important for ShinRa because when Cloud left, the President told us to go after him and retrieve it again. Looks like he changed his mind about it." Rude explained.
Tifa shivered, feeling her hairs rising. "Uhm… no, I didn't see anything." She said before deciding to just leave.
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That night, Tifa just sat alone in her bed, staring blankly at one corner of her room. She was supposed to be in the 7th Heaven at that hour, but she left the responsibility with Yuffie, Barret, Cid and Vincent for a while, excusing herself to go upstairs to her room because for the rest of the afternoon after she had been to the Church and had a little talk with Rude and Reno, she was already feeling a bit dazed.
The words on the piece of paper kept on whirling around her mind repeatedly. How could she memorize it so easily? She has only read it once!
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
She repeated it in her mind for an infinite number of times before she decided to lie down and close her eyes. The words echoed in her mind.
Live.
She was willing herself to go back to the bar to help her friends, but she was simply too tired…
Remember…
Remember what?
She slowly opened her eyes but her vision was blurred. All she saw was white… although she couldn't remember having white walls and white sheets in her room. She narrowed her eyes but couldn't stare elsewhere. Something has gotten control of her eyesight and her mind.
Voices began to echo in her mind… but she couldn't understand what they were saying; although she was sure that those were words spoken to her by her friends from the past… some two years ago… and way back… going back to childhood…
"Tifa," the door burst open.
She jerked up in surprise. Had she fallen asleep? She stared wide-eyed at Vincent.
Vincent just stared back curiously at her, "Are you alright?" he asked.
She just swallowed hard. "I…" she stammered… and realized that she was holding something. It was the piece of paper with the writings.
"Barret's asking about the white cloth for the glasses and the other white cloth for the table… so I went up here to ask you because he couldn't leave the customers. I was knocking but you weren't answering… so pardon me if I just barged in." he explained.
She just looked down at the piece of paper and hid it behind her back. "Oh… the white cloth… yeah… alright… I'll… go." She said softly before she got up, mindlessly leaving the paper on the bed. She went out, leaving Vincent there to wonder what that piece of paper was. He approached the bed, picked up the paper and read it:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
He just stared curiously at it while wondering why he suddenly felt like his face was being touched by some cold hands from behind him… He turned around to the window, thinking that it could just be the cold air from outside seeping through, but he saw that the windows were tightly shut.
Frowning, he just put the paper down on the bed again while thinking, "Such lovely words. Did Tifa compose this?" and went downstairs to continue helping his friends.
When he saw Tifa again, she was just seated in one corner of the bar, staring into empty space. "What's wrong with her?" he asked.
"I don't #$$ know! She went down here and didn't say anything and just sat down there lookin' so dazed!" Cid responded.
Barret shook his head in disbelief while staring at Tifa. "You think she's got the disease too?" he asked softly.
"GAWDS! No way!!! She can still walk and she looks fine!" Yuffie exclaimed.
Tifa was oblivious to the noise and the people around her… she just stared into empty space, recalling the things that she had seen in her sleep.
White.
Vincent approached her with a slight smile on his face, "I've seen the poem you wrote, Tifa. It was lovely." He told her, wanting to put an effort to cheer her up.
She snapped back into her senses. "Wh… what?" she asked curiously.
He just stared at her. "The poem. To love the dead?" he asked, reminding her.
She stared at him and swallowed hard. "Oh… that… I… didn't write it. I just found it… somewhere…" she replied before she got up again and decided to go upstairs again… but she was so dazed… that when she reached the last step on the second floor, she missed it because she just blacked out… and fell…
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"Tifa?"
She slowly opened her eyes upon recognizing the voice. "C…Cloud?" she spoke softly.
Cloud Strife was staring down at her with a calm smile on his face. "Hey, Teef." He greeted. She blinked and smiled back. "Hi, Cloud. You're here!" she said happily before she sat up and looked around. She was in her room. And her smile faded. "Wait… you're…" she began, feeling nervous, remembering what happened.
I'm dreaming, she thought.
Cloud simply smiled at her. "Thank you." He told her.
She just stared back at him in awe. "But… wh…why?" she asked.
She heard someone call her name again from her other side. "Tifa," She instantly turned to her other side and was surprised to see Aerith smiling at her. Tifa's mouth dropped open but she wasn't able to say anything else. She felt so speechless and confused. Is she dead or dreaming?
She turned back to Cloud again and he just said:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
"I did that. Now look at me! I'm happy!" he told her. She just stared back at him in awe. He continued, "There's no harm in loving the dead."
Tifa suddenly found the strength to speak again, "But… I don't understand!" she pointed out.
Then Cloud and Aerith's facial expressions changed from happy… to something else that really scared Tifa. She felt like she was looking at two strangers who were staring back at her rather blankly. "Cloud, who wrote this?" she asked, showing him the note, and she was also looking at it at the same time. And when she turned to look at them again, they were gone.
And the whole place turned dark. She couldn't see anything anymore… but all she could hear were the words:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
They seemed to repeat in her mind more and more…
Live
Remember…
"Remember?" she thought to herself.
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I wonder what sort of person he is…
She opened her eyes when she thought she heard someone speak.
But there was no one there.
She was still in her room, but Cloud and Aerith weren't there anymore. She just got up from her bed, seeing that it was morning already. "What… happened?" she thought to herself.
She remembered the paper being held by herself, so she turned to her hand that was supposed to be holding it… but it was not there anymore. "Where… is it?" she thought silently before deciding to look for it. Somehow it became important to her for a reason that she could not even understand. Cloud's words echoed through her mind as she searched for it in her room:
"There's no harm in loving the dead…"
She just swallowed hard. "What is he talking about? I do not love him in the way I thought I did before!" she was thinking miserably. She passed by a full-length mirror as she crossed to the other side of the room. She froze. Since when did she own a full-length mirror? She slowly turned back to the mirror and stared unbelievably at her own reflection. She was not wearing her usual clothes anymore; instead she was dressed up like a business executive… and she looked older. She also had make-up on her face which puzzled her because she hardly ever wore make-up except maybe for a little face powder and lipgloss. But she was wearing lipstick, eyeliner, blush, eyeshadow… the works. "Eeps!" she backed away from the mirror and fell on a sitting position on the bed while staring unbelievably at herself in the mirror.
She jerked up in surprise when someone just barged inside her room. It was a little girl with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a red dress and a there was a red ribbon on her hair. "You're here, mommy!" she greeted.
Tifa's mouth dropped open when she heard that. "Wh…what?" she stammered in disbelief. The little girl giggled happily as she ran towards her, embracing her tightly. "I was so worried about you! Daddy told me you fainted during work here at the bar so I came back from school as early as possible to go here!" the little girl said.
Tifa observed the way the little girl looked and was dressed. She looked like a daughter of a millionaire and indeed, she was a beautiful child.
Whoever she is…
Tifa just stared in awe at the little girl. "Wh…where's your daddy?" she asked softly, but deep inside, she was really asking, "Who is my husband?! Who are you?!"
The little girl noticed the way she was looking at her. She pouted. "Mommy, how come you're looking at me as if you don't know me?" she asked.
Tifa just swallowed hard. "I… don't know you…" she wanted to say out loud, but she just smiled weakly at the little girl. The little girl embraced her tightly. "It's Morrigan, mommy. Don't you remember?" she asked.
Tifa's eyes widened. "M…Morrigan?" she asked.
The little girl enlightened up and jumped off from her lap and spun around three times in delight. "Mommy! Mommy! I got the lead role for our school play! I'm going to be a Princess!" she announced happily.
Tifa just stared helplessly at the girl. "What… happened?" she was thinking to herself.
"So she already told you the news." A smooth masculine voice began from the doorway. Tifa turned to the door… and there he was… someone whom she had not expected at all. "Are you alright now, dear?" he asked as he approached her, patting his daughter's head on the way to Tifa. When he got to her, he bent down and gave her a kiss on her cheek… and at the same time, he touched her hand and seemed to have placed something in her grasp. She looked down to her hand and recognized the piece of paper. She looked up at him in disbelief as he withdrew from her. He had his usual smirk on his face… "I have a business dinner meeting tonight with some business Tycoons from another country, and they want me to take you and our children with me… but since you cannot come, I just cancelled the meeting for another time." He told her.
She narrowed her eyes at him and felt her heart sinking. She swallowed hard. "Why?" she asked in disbelief.
Rufus ShinRa stared curiously at her, "Well, aren't you ill?" he asked.
Tifa just stared unbelievably at him before turning to the paper in her hand again.
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
He approached her and bent down, whispering in her ear, "Must be fatigue. You've been working too hard. Why don't we take a vacation in Costa del Sol? Just you, me, and the twins?"
She gasped slightly.
Morrigan blinked. "Daddy, how come mommy seems to be acting weird? It's like she cannot even remember her own name?" she asked in a bratty manner.
Tifa pushed Rufus away from her, surprising Morrigan. She just hissed at him, "You are not real…" she muttered.
Morrigan just smiled rather creepily at her.
Then, a pair of hands just grabbed her face from behind. They were so cold that she was startled and instantly got up and moved away from the bed… and stared horridly at Aerith Gainsborough… or maybe it's not her… because this one was rotting already. "Oh yes, he is. Everything is real here, Tifa." She said.
Tifa just screamed.
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Reminisce
I wonder what sort of person he is…
She tried to open her eyes but once she did, she couldn't see anything clearly. Everything seemed so blurred… but she could hear someone talking to her.
"Didn't you think of him in any other way? Don't you remember the what-if's in your thoughts? Stop denying it, Tifa."
It sounded just like her.
"No…" she struggled to say.
She heard herself laugh. "Poor dear… you're still in denial. You could've helped him escape his horrible fate, Tifa… but no, you did not. You made yourself blind by thinking that you could claim what you never even had in the first place."
"How was I supposed to know?" she demanded.
"You knew, Tifa. You knew. You just didn't follow your heart."
"What?!"
"You and your locked heart. Shame on you. If you followed your heart, he could've been saved… everything could've been different. And you wouldn't be here…"
Suddenly, her vision was clear… and someone came into view. It was herself. She screeched in surprise. How did that happen?!
Her self smiled back rather playfully at her.
Tifa frowned at herself. "I followed my heart!" she snapped at the girl who was looking at her.
"Well… in a sense, yes. But it was blinded by another force. You see, the problem with you is that, you don't know how to cherish…"
"What?!" she demanded. She tried to stand up but she couldn't move.
The girl moved away from her view but she could hear her laughing. "He's dead now."
And then there was silence.
The girl loomed over her again, scaring her with the look in her eyes. She looked very sinister. "But you can always…"
Black out.
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Relive
Tifa stared at him from behind… observing the way he moved. He was like a cat… graceful… and he was simply… charming.
"Well then, I'll let you hear my inauguration speech." He turned around to face them. She blushed slightly at the sudden turning, and he just approached her. "Wh…why is he…" she was thinking to herself. She looked rather helplessly at Cloud, but Cloud didn't seem to mind him approaching her. He was too focused on him, staring rather annoyingly at him.
Tifa looked at Rufus ShinRa again when she heard him speak, "Old man tried to control the world with money…"
They caught each other's gazes. But it was only a matter of seconds before he started to move away from her again… that is, after he smiled softly at her… like saying, "Hi,"
And her response was a soft smile with a sudden rush of blood to her face. Hopefully nobody else noticed it because it would mean trouble for her.
She watched rather regretfully as he approached Aerith to continue citing his speech. She felt her heart sinking. Aerith was looking past Rufus's face… towards her. Aerith saw her reaction… Aerith just smiled faintly at Tifa, as if reassuring her that everything will be alright.
Tifa looked away and just continued to watch Rufus. And when he approached Cloud, she saw him touch his hand… and placed something there. Cloud turned to his hand and stared at a piece of paper.
Tifa wondered what that was. And to her surprise, Cloud and the others were already looking at her curiously. Even Rufus was looking at her.
She swallowed hard, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Why are they staring at her like that?
Cloud approached her and handed her the paper. She curiously eyed him but he just smiled and told her, "There's nothing wrong with loving the dead, Tifa," and moved backward away from her, going to Aerith. She watched as he took Aerith's hand in his. Aerith just smiled sweetly at her. "We'll see you later, Tifa," she said softly. Tifa felt so nervous. She looked at the piece of paper:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
When she decided to look at her companions again, she felt really afraid… because there was no one there anymore. Instead, the whole place was deserted… and it looked like it was in ruin.
Like after the explosion of the 70th floor when Diamond Weapon fired at it.
She felt so weak that her grip loosened on the paper. A soft breeze blew which caused the paper to fly out of her grasp. She went after it. The paper led her further inside the 70th floor…
The paper continued to lead her further inside… until it landed on a spot by the stairs. She continued to walk, going to the paper. She bent down to grab it before it could fly off again, but in the process, she had grabbed another thing…
It was a hand.
A left hand.
She let go of the paper and the left hand and took a few steps backward, staring unbelievably at the body on the floor… then at her hand that touched the bloody hand belonging to the body. Her hands had blood on them. She screamed.
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Her body felt so painful and she moaned in pain as she struggled to open her eyes and shift to the other side of the bed.
"She's conscious now…" she heard Yuffie say to someone else.
She heard footsteps approaching her. "Yo Teef? You alright?" he asked.
"Slow down, Barret. Don't force her just yet," Yuffie advised.
Tifa slowly opened her eyes and gazed up at them. Is her dream over?
She quickly recalled what happened to her in the dream and she instantly got up, staring at her hand that was supposed to be bloody. There was no blood…
And she looked at her clothes. They were still the same. She was not wearing the business attire. She turned to look at her friends in awe.
They all stared at her strangely. "Are you alright?" Barret asked curiously.
Tifa just looked down, her eyes wide in confusion. She felt so afraid.
The words were still echoing in her mind:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
And she remembered the paper. She wanted to burn it because it had caused her much trouble already. "You fell down the stairs because you fainted. Are you alright?" Yuffie asked her curiously.
Tifa turned to her. "I fainted?" she asked.
"You were acting so #$$ strange! We thought you have Geostigma!" Cid pointed out.
"Yeah, and after you fell, we thought you really hurt yourself so bad like you got yourself a buncha broken bones? But you just got up and started to attack us!!! GAWDS, Tifa, we had a hard time stopping you!" Yuffie pointed out.
"I … attacked you?" Tifa asked curiously.
"Hell yeah! You scared us to death! Since when did you learn how to fire guns and use knives to hurt people?!" Barret demanded. Tifa was confused. "I did that?" she asked in awe.
Then she remembered the paper. "Where's… the paper?" she asked, turning to Vincent… but he wasn't even there.
Tifa started to recall where she had last seen the paper… and recalled Vincent asking her about it.
"It's in here… before I got down…" she recalled to herself before her eyes widened and then rushed to the window… but the windows were closed. How could it fly out?
She began to frantically search for it, looking under the bed and under the drawers and closets.
But she couldn't find it.
"Tifa, what are you doing?" Barret demanded.
"Didn't you see a paper here?" she asked impatiently as she proceeded to search.
"What paper?" Cid asked.
"They're like… instructions. I don't know. It sounds poetic, though… but…" she replied rather hesitantly.
"Where did you find the paper anyway?" Barret asked.
"In the Church." she replied simply before she got up from the floor and dusted her knees. "It's important to me!" she told them.
"Why?" Cid asked.
"Because…" she stopped herself. She almost said, "Because it's from Rufus!" No. She couldn't tell them that. They will condemn her! She just turned around, wanting to avoid the looks in their faces, trying to think of an excuse… but her mind was so clouded.
Then, she felt Yuffie touch her shoulder. "Oh yeah, Teef… someone's looking for you."
Tifa slowly turned to Yuffie. Her friend had a strange smile on her face. Then she turned to Barret and Cid. They moved away from the door as if to give way to someone who is about to enter while looking at the doorway. Tifa's eyes widened when she saw Rufus ShinRa dressed in his usual white clothes… and entering the room. He was smiling at her the way he first smiled at her two years ago on the 70th floor balcony where they first met.
"I… I don't understand…" Tifa began. Isn't he dead?
She felt afraid. Then, she froze when she felt someone embrace her from behind. She gasped. The hands were cold… and when she looked down at that person's hands, she easily recognized the gold bangles… but the hands and arms were too pale… and seemed to have some black and blue color on them.
Tifa felt her hairs rising as she slowly turned around to face Aerith Gainsborough who was smiling dearly at her. And then she saw Cloud Strife too. He was looking at her with a friendly smile on his face while holding Aerith's hand. Tifa gasped and backed away from the two because they appeared to be dead… Their lips were bluish-black already and their skins were so pale like they had no more blood… and blood seemed to even leak from Cloud's lips.
The froze when she heard Yuffie say, "Isn't this fun?"
"Yeah! We're all reunited! Foo's! Let's par-tay!!!" Barret added.
Tifa slowly turned around to face her friends again… but she gasped in total horror when she realized that they all looked so… frightening… like Cloud and Aerith, they had bluish-black lips and skin… but they had more blood on their bodies compared to Cloud and Aerith. Their bodies even had several bullet holes and stab wounds. They were not even smiling at her. They were looking at her with blank stares on their faces.
Rufus was also looking at her that way and it frightened her.
Then, she felt someone from her left side grab her shoulder and then whispered in her ear, "You killed them moments ago…"
Tifa turned to her side and was shocked to see Sephiroth. Behind him was Zack and both of them were gazing down at her with blank stares on their faces… and just like the others, they looked like zombies.
Tifa scanned everyone's looks on their faces… one by one… and she felt the room spinning around her.
Die for the moment…
Tifa screamed.
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Vincent Valentine just carried the crying Marlene in his arms as he continued to make his way out of the City. He had to get away from that City… with Marlene.
He had to protect the child.
When they reached Kalm, he decided to rest for a while to try to comprehend what had just happened back there at the 7th Heaven. Marlene was still crying. "Shh… hush now… it's alright…" he told her.
Marlene sniffed and looked up at him helplessly. "Uncle Vincent, what about Papa?" she asked in between her sobs. Vincent felt pity for the child. He saw what happened to Barret but he shielded Marlene away from the truth by pulling her out of Tifa's way, shielding her away from the bloody scene. He wondered how Tifa had become so powerful like that…
"What happened to her?" he thought to himself.
And before Tifa could hurt him or Marlene, he decided to run away with the little girl.
But he still felt like he needed to go on and move further away from Midgar as much as possible. He just picked up the crying Marlene again and continued their way to the Healin Lodge where he supposed Rude and Reno were located. Maybe they could help them for a while.
Upon arriving there, the two Turks aided them instantly. Vincent narrated to them what happened and the two could not even believe what they were hearing.
When Marlene had calmed down moments later, she was just seated quietly in the room that had once belonged to The President while Vincent was downstairs still discussing something with the Turks. When she got bored, she began to look around the room. She felt that she had to look under the bed. When she did so, she just smiled.
Vincent arrived and stared curiously at her, "Marlene, what are you doing?" he asked.
Marlene reached under the bed and pulled out something.
A piece of paper. "Look Uncle Vincent! Look what I found!" she announced happily.
Vincent curiously took the paper and frowned slightly. He recognized it easily… "Did you bring it here?" he asked.
"No, I found it under the bed!" she explained. He was just quiet as he read through it. "Well, what does it say?" she asked curiously.
Vincent just kept quiet as he read it:
To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
And then he felt a pair of cold hands touch his face… and he thought he heard a voice whisper his name…
He instantly turned around to look. "Lucrecia?" he thought to himself.
No one was there.
Vincent's thoughts were interrupted when Marlene tugged on his cape. "Uncle Vinny, what's written in there?" she asked stubbornly.
Vincent just folded the paper and placed it in his pocket. "Oh nothing. I think it's just a receipt." He fibbed before carrying her up in his arms. "Let's go downstairs. Uncle Rude prepared some porridge for you." He told her.
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To love the dead:
Live
Remember
Reminisce
Relive
Cherish
Die for the moment.
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-End-
Author's Note: Would you believe that this is a one-shot? Oo' Oh yeah, the "poem" (if ever you consider that as a poem) To Love the Dead is also written by me. '