A/N: Alright, this is going to be a two parter one-shot. Why does that sound like an oxymoron? Hm...maybe because it kind of is.
Summary: When Spinelli's crush, Johnny V. asks her to be his girlfriend, she finds herself choosing between him and someone she never expected. Rated "G".
Thanks to TheNextPoliticalDynasty, xXxSarahxXx, the anonymous "hello", and trecebo for reviewing. I'm glad you all liked my previous postings.
AND, just so you all know, I've decided I will write a sequel to One Night Stand, even as I am dissapointed with the feedback on that chapter. I'm gonna do it for TNPD, because she was the only one who really expressed an interest in that story getting some closure, though I thought the few reviews for it did rock. You guys can read the sequel too, if you want.
Cuteness, fluff, and all that crappy stuff. ENJOY!
That Damned L-Word - part: 1
"I kind of...like you...will you be my girlfriend?" The words sounded simple. So damned simple. A question, with such simple words, would be simple to answer, correct? Not for Ashley Spinelli who stared deep into the face of the tall 6th grader with messy blonde hair and a large grin spread across his face revealing a newly growing in tooth. Sure, Spinelli had a crush on the guy. "Baby Tooth" Johnny V., her first crush. So it should have been simple, right? Wrong. Why was it so hard to just say 'yes'? It was because of her reputation, right? That had to be it. She had a reputation to uphold. She was tough; no one messed with her save for a few idiots that she would promptly teach a lesson to. If she showed any signs of a soft side, if she agreed to be Johnny V.'s girlfriend - well, she'd get laughed out of school.
"I don't..." Spinelli began, but Johnny was way ahead of her, throwing his hands up and flashing a quick grin.
"You don't have to decide now...think about it," he pleaded. She sighed, grimaced.
"Alright...I will...think about it I mean," she finally sighed. Johnny smiled.
"Great," he said, walking past her and gently brushing her shoulder. The school bell rang, and kids rushed to return to their classes. It had been recess when Johnny had pulled her behind the dumpsters and asked her that question, told her how he felt, used that damned L-word.
Spinelli trudged up the steps towards her classroom. It was the middle of the year, and fifth grade had not been easy. This was the last thing Spinelli needed at the moment. She slipped in her seat at the front of the room, nodding an acknowledgement to her friends then staring deeply at the fake wood grains on her desktop.
She had had her crush on Johnny since fourth grade, nearly a year. She still had his tooth stashed away at the bottom of her sock drawer.
"Spin...Spinelli..." She shook her head, looked up, turning to one of her best friends seated beside her, TJ Dettwieler.
"What?" she hissed.
"I was just asking if anything was wrong," he muttered, "What happened to you at recess? You just disappeared."
"I..." Spinelli began, but Miss Finster entered the room and she was forced to fall silent, mouthing 'I'll tell you later' to TJ. For the rest of the class period she sat mulling over the decision she needed to make. She wasn't sure what being a girlfriend meant. Sure, she'd seen those mushy romance films that her mother had forced her to watch, with the kissing and hugging and constantly saying "I love you." But she was just a kid. She didn't want to do those kinds of things, did she?
Spinelli didn't hear the bell ring at the end of the school day staring at her desk deep in thought. Needless to say, she hadn't heard the entire lesson either, nor had she done her class work, and she had no idea what the homework was. But she stumbled up to her feet all the same and trudged from the room. And of course, upon stepping outside she was surrounded by her friends.
"What's up Spinelli?" Vince asked, walking beside her.
"Yes, dear sweet Spinelli, what troubles you so?" Mikey questioned.
"Yeah, you've been quiet all day, ever since recess. You didn't even laugh when Miss Finster found that frog in her desk," Gus spoke up.
"Guys, guys," TJ hushed them, "Let her talk."
"Yes, I am curious to know as well what kept Spinelli from Battle Tag this afternoon, which we all know is her favorite game," Gretchen agreed. They all stopped, turning expectantly at Spinelli, who simply looked at all of them, sighed, lowered her eyes and kept trudging along.
"It must be something serious," TJ told them, "Gretchen, maybe you should..."
"Got you," Gretchen nodded, "I'll speak with her."
Gretchen had to jog to catch up with her best friend who already had a good head start even at the slow pace she was traveling.
"Hello, Spinelli," Gretchen greeted and received a weary look.
"I've got a lot on my mind, there's nothing wrong with me, so you can tell TJ and the others to stop worrying. And no, there's nothing you guys can do to help," Spinelli snapped, and picked up the pace leaving a stunned Gretchen behind.
"She didn't even let me ask the question," Gretchen mumbled as the boys joined her.
"Man, Spinelli is in one mood," Vince commented, "Maybe it's best if we just leave her be."
"Yeah. I really don't want to see what happens when Spinelli is in a really bad mood and you just push her over the edge," Gus spoke up.
"Aw...poor Spinelli, what bothers her so?" Mikey cried spectacularly to shocked stun of any onlookers, he then sighed dramatically, "Alas, is there nothing we can do to soothe her worried mind? What are friends but vessels of relief? What ales one friend, ales all!"
"Anyone want a milkshake at Kelso's?" Vince interrupted.
"Oh! I would," Mikey exclaimed.
"You guys go ahead," TJ told them, walking down the street towards his own home, "I have things to do. I'll see you later?"
"Certainly," Gretchen nodded, "Is there nothing we can do to help you?"
"Eh, I just have a few chores is all, and my parents kind of want me to do them myself. I'll see you at Kelso's later," TJ shrugged. The friends said their good-byes and parted, TJ heading home and the others on their way to Kelso's.
It took Spinelli a bit of time to reach her house at the pace she was moving, but she was in no big rush. Sure, Johnny V. was her crush, and she didn't mind that he liked her. In fact, she actually...kind of...liked the idea. She stopped at her front lawn, digging in her pocket for a quarter and sitting on the curb.
"Alright," Spinelli said aloud, "Tails, I go out with Johnny V. and heads I don't." She flipped the coin into the air, caught it, and flipped it on the back of her hand while covering it with the other. She took a deep breath, hesitating, slowly lifting her hand.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a cheeky voice that she recognized all too well said behind her. Spinelli sighed.
"What do you want, TJ?" she asked without turning.
"Well, nothing really. It's lucky I happened by though. You know, you really shouldn't leave your fate up to a quarter," TJ said and joined Spinelli on the curb, taking the quarter from her and flipping it in the air, catching it with ease.
"I told Gretchen I didn't want to talk," Spinelli snapped, "Does that mean nothing to you?"
"I guess not," TJ chuckled. Spinelli didn't join him so he fell silent, holding the quarter between two of his fingers and staring at it intently. "Quarters are tricky, you know that? Now if you had a penny, I'd understand. Old Abe'll never lead you astray. Then there are nickels, you see, they're no good for flipping. And don't get me started on dimes."
"I'm not gonna flip a penny, Teej, now if you don't mind..." Spinelli attempted to snatch her quarter back but TJ was quicker, flipping it in the air and watching it roll away into the street. Spinelli turned an angry eye on him and he shrugged innocently at her; "You really want me to hurt you that bad, huh?"
"I'm not very fond of pain," TJ chuckled nervously, shrugging and grinning boyishly, "I'm not very fond of watching my friends trudge around in misery either. You gonna tell me what Johnny V. has to do with this the easy way, or the hard way?"
"Hard way?" Spinelli snorted, "What are you gonna do, follow me around and beg me to death?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of tickling."
"You wouldn't."
"Need I remind you of January 3rd, 1st grade, when a certain person wouldn't tell where she'd hidden my marbles?"
"Teej, you lost your marbles long before I hid them from you," Spinelli muttered, then met his eyes, groaning, "Teej."
"Well?"
"Alright, fine!" Spinelli cried, leaping to her feet, "Johnny V. asked me to be his girlfriend. See, no big deal, and most definitely, none of your business."
"What?" TJ screeched incredulously, "He asked you to be his girlfriend? Why?"
"What do you mean, why?" Spinelli demanded, "You don't think he'd want me to be his girlfriend? You don't think I'd be good enough for him? He said he likes me, all right! Is that so hard for your thick skull to comprehend?"
"That's not what I mean...I mean...well, why's it taking you so long to tell him no?" TJ snapped.
"What makes you think I'm gonna tell him no?" Spinelli crossed her arms in front of her chest staring down at him.
"Well, jeez Spin, I know you had this sort of thing for him back in fourth grade...but I thought you were over that," TJ shrugged, leaning back and meeting her eyes. They sat there staring at one another for a long time. Finally, Spinelli threw up her hands and walked up to her porch.
"Jeez, Teej!" Spinelli cried in exasperation. How was it possible that he could annoy her this much? And why was it, that they were best friends and most of the time she couldn't stand him? And how come he was the only one that could get to her like this?
"Spinelli..." TJ started. He had stood up, was facing her, seemed unsure what he wanted to say or if he should say anything at all. He finally just shook his head, kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. "Why couldn't you be dealing with something else? Like, when you broke your mom's vase and had to figure out how not to get grounded. I helped you with that."
"I still got grounded, Teej," Spinelli reminded him.
"Oh, yeah. I think I got grounded too." They fell silent. Spinelli taking a seat on the swinging chair up on her porch and TJ standing uncertainly by the curb. Spinelli sighed, burying her head in her backpack. For a long time they were silent and Spinelli was beginning to think TJ had left.
"Are you gonna tell him 'no'?" TJ asked. Spinelli looked up. He'd moved closer, was standing at the bottom of her porch staring intently at her.
"I don't know, Teej," Spinelli shrugged, "I mean, he likes me...and I guess I like him...maybe I'll say yes..."
"So what if he likes you!" TJ exploded, "Are you gonna be the girlfriend of every guy that likes you?"
"...well...no," Spinelli began, but TJ wasn't paying attention.
"It's gonna be a little hard, don't you think? You don't even know the first thing about being a girlfriend," TJ went on, "And who cares if he likes you, that's no reason to just say 'yes', and you said 'I guess...', that means you're not sure if you still like him, are you? Well? I mean, I like you, are you gonna be my girlfriend?" TJ stopped. Turning from her, though his cheeks noticeably pink. He chuckled nervously, searching for a way to fix that slipup, "Well...um...Mikey and Vince and Gus like you too, are you gonna be their girlfriend?" Nice save, TJ mentally smacked himself. Spinelli stared at TJ's back for a long time, her own cheeks ablaze. Just what was he trying to say? She narrowed her eyes at him. Why was he trying to ruin this for her?
"I ain't questioning whether I like him or not!" Spinelli finally snapped, "I know how I feel about him! Well...kind of...well I know I like him!"
"Then what's the problem?" TJ asked snidely, "Why aren't you boyfriend and girlfriend yet, doing all the mushy stuff...like holding hands and all of that?"
"'Cause I don't know how my reputation would handle it," Spinelli spat, "And that's the only reason!"
"Your reputation? Jeez, Spinelli, that's a lame excuse. If you're so worried about your reputation then just tell him 'no' and be done with it," TJ told her frustrated, turning an angry glower on her, "It's better than being laughed out of school, huh? I mean, sheesh, Spinelli, you always going to let what other people think about you get in the way? You ever think that maybe you act so tough so that people can't see how weak you really are?"
"You better watch it, Teej. You won't think I'm so weak when I'm beating you to a bloody pulp!" Spinelli threatened, leaping to her feet, fists balled in front of her.
"Look, I'm just trying to tell you that Johnny V. is a real jerk and you can't just trust what he says! And that you shouldn't decide what to tell him based on your reputation, but on whether you really want to be his girlfriend," TJ yelled, throwing his hands up, "But I'm only your best friend, what do I know?" He turned storming away down the street and Spinelli didn't think to call after him, her fists loosening and her eyes lowered.
What did TJ know anyways? Spinelli slipped back down in the chair, frowning. She studied her hands. Why were they trembling so? Something slipped down her cheek, cold and slow, falling with a wet splatter to her skirt. She tossed her backpack across the porch, pulled her legs up and buried her face in them. What was wrong with her? Why was everything so complicated all of a sudden? When she was younger emotions were easier. If you were happy you smiled, if you were sad you frowned, if you were mad you hit something. That was how it was. There was no second-guessing, no doubting. If you liked someone you'd play kickball with them, if you didn't you'd shun them or beat the snot out of them if they ever came around. Like. It wasn't a word to describe this emotion she was feeling for some stupid boy. It was a word to describe how you felt about a friend or a teacher or a family member. Something along the lines of, "Yeah, I like my dog."
I'm just a kid, Spinelli groaned inwardly. And TJ, the nerve he had coming over and telling her to answer Johnny V. with a 'no', assuming she would. What did TJ know about how she felt? How dare he presume to know, when she didn't even know how she felt? Spinelli sighed. She had no idea how to tell if you like, liked someone. Was it when you started seeing them differently then anyone else? Was it when you started acting different around them? When you started to blush when they spoke to you? When your heart started pounding whenever they were near and you couldn't breath or speak when you so much as thought about them?
Johnny V. was all of those things to her, wasn't he? She wasn't sure. The truth was, Spinelli hadn't thought much about Johnny V. since the end of fourth grade. Everything had seemed to go by so fast. Fourth grade, summer, childhood. Spinelli didn't think about watching cartoons and blowing her allowance on a pound of candy as much anymore. She thought about how she looked and how she acted, which wasn't a satisfying experience for her. She was scrawny, short. Her hair was a mess, and her lips seemed too...pout-y? How could Johnny V. like her in that way? How could any boy like her in that way? She was tough, a brat, never letting anyone near her. She liked to play sports with the boys, wrestle, and she could cream any kid on the playground, didn't matter if they were bigger, older, or acted tougher. She was...intimidating to say the least. She didn't intimidate TJ.
Spinelli's heart skipped a beat. That was twice she thought about him instead of what she should have been thinking about, Johnny V. Spinelli lifted her head, shook it. What was wrong with her? Johnny V. was tall, and...cute? Was she thinking the word cute? No, he was not bad to look at, that's all, not cute. And he was big and tough. He wasn't short and soft like TJ, with that smug look and freckled face. And when Johnny V. smiled, it was nothing like the mischievous grin TJ wore.
"Why am I comparing him to TJ?" Spinelli cried out loud in realization, burying her face again and moaning loudly. "Johnny V. and TJ are nothing alike, they're not even on the same page! TJ is a friend..." she smiled slightly, "A really good friend..." she shook her head again, trying to force her mind back to her real dilemma. Johnny V. was the guy she had a crush on, her first crush. He made her feel all sick inside, not TJ. No, Spinelli commanded herself, stop thinking about TJ. He's not a part of this. Spinelli heard the front door open.
"Pookie?" her mother said, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, mom," Spinelli groaned, peeking up at the woman standing in the doorway looking down at her worriedly. Flo crossed the porch, quietly shutting the door behind her, seating herself next to her daughter.
"You know, you can tell me what's wrong. I'm your mother, after all, no one can claim to love you more than me," Flo told Spinelli, smiling gently. Spinelli raised an eyebrow. Her mother was a girl, wasn't she? Maybe Spinelli could tell her.
"Alright, there's this guy at school," Spinelli started.
"Oh...it's not that little TJ Dettwieler is it?" Flo squealed excitedly. Spinelli's eyes went wide, her cheeks turning pink, and she shook her head vehemently.
"No mom! It's got nothing to do with TJ!" she screamed, before jumping off the seat and running to the door, "Why did I think I could tell you?"
"Ashley, wait," Flo called after her. Spinelli stopped, looking over to her mother who looked at her with pleading, understanding eyes. Flo patted the chair next to her softly, motioning her daughter to sit back down, to which Spinelli reluctantly obliged. "Now tell me about this boy."
"He...uh...well, his name is Johnny V.," Spinelli started, her mother nodded, encouraging her to continue, "Well...he...um...he asked me to be his girlfriend."
"Oh, that's wonderful, Pookie," Flo cried, tossing her arms about her daughter, "My little Ashley the heartbreaker!"
"MOM!" Spinelli cried, "I don't know what to tell this guy!" Flo pulled back, looking down at her daughter.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend!" Spinelli clarified.
"Oh," Flo pushed a strand of Spinelli's hair behind her ear, "Well, what does your heart tell you?"
"I don't know, but my brain is telling me to run away," Spinelli sighed.
"Ah...I see," Flo chuckled, "You don't understand what your heart is saying, yet."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, your heart is speaking in a different language now," Flo explained, "You used to listen to what your heart said all the time, because you understood it. It wasn't easy to follow your heart all the time, but you always did what it told you. Now, it's speaking a whole other language, but I know that you'll figure it out eventually, you always do."
"Um...okay," Spinelli mumbled, too confused to know what else to say.
"What did your friends have to say about all of this?" Flo asked and Spinelli's eyes lit up with a fiery rage, recalling TJ's input on the situation.
"TJ...oh, he makes me so mad I could just...I don't know what!" Spinelli snarled through clenched teeth. Flo raised an eyebrow at that wearing a knowing smile. "He...oh...that jerk. He came here and just assumed I'd tell Johnny 'no'! The nerve, huh? And then, TJ went on about how I'd be the girlfriend of any guy that said he liked me. And then TJ said Johnny V. was a jerk! Can you believe that? It you ask me, TJ's the jerk. I mean, coming here and saying 'well, I like you does that mean you're gonna be my girlfriend?' NO! Why would I be his girlfriend? I don't even..." Spinelli trailed off, her cheeks obviously flushed. Flo leaned forward, kissing her daughter's forehead before standing, picking up Spinelli's backpack and making her way to the front door.
"I'll leave you to figure things out," Flo told her, smiling smugly. She started to make her way into the house, then stopped, saying over her shoulder, "TJ just cares about you is all, Pookie. Don't think so harshly of him." With nothing else to say, Flo disappeared into the house, shutting the door behind her.
Spinelli stared at that closed door for a long time, stunned. What was that supposed to mean? TJ just cares about her...? Why did that make Spinelli feel warm inside?
Like. What was with that word? Like. Four letters, one syllable. So simple yet so complicated. What was like? What did it mean to "like" someone? Spinelli liked her friends. She liked Vince because he was athletic and fun to be around. She liked Gretchen because she was smart and never treated anyone as an inferior. Spinelli liked Mikey because he was kind and could make poetry rhyme. She liked Gus because the kid had guts. And she liked TJ because...because he was TJ. Spinelli felt her cheeks turn a deep shade of red, her heart nearly leaping from her chest. Did she...did she like, like TJ? No, Spinelli told herself, that was not possible. There was no way she could like, like TJ.
She tried to recall that conversation she'd had with him, mere moments before. Why did he want her to tell Johnny V. 'no', why was he so determined that she not be Johnny V.'s girlfriend? Why had he said that he liked her? He didn't like, like her, did he? There was no way that was possible. And what would everyone say at school if that were true, if he did like, like her? What would everyone say if she liked him? Her heart skipped a beat again. Stop thinking that, she screamed at herself silently. STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP. What would TJ say if he...STOP!
Spinelli slapped her forehead. She was getting a headache. She could tell Johnny V. 'yes'. Who cared what everyone thought? If anything, Spinelli knew those Ashleys would be jealous. None of them had ever had a boyfriend, and they all liked boys. Spinelli grinned, that was definitely a plus.
But do you really want to be his girlfriend.
"I don't know what I want! How can I know what I want?" Spinelli cried, desperate to end the indecision. Johnny V. liked her. He liked her and wanted her to be his girlfriend. She blushed. Did she want to be his girlfriend...or was there something else...someone else? There was the answer. Right there in front of her. It shouldn't have been so hard, because it was so obvious. Spinelli leapt to her feet, running into her house. She would tell Johnny V. her answer the next day at school. She'd grab him behind the dumpsters and tell him how she felt. It was so simple.
END A/N: I'll get the next part up definately after my next update on Where the Skeletons Lie. Hm...I wonder what her answer is to Johnny V., so mysterious. Don't you love how I leave you hanging? Will I pull another One Night Stand ending? Let's find out!
REVIEW! -- some left over energy from Where the Skeletons Lie...hehe...please REVIEW. I know they're just one-shots, but I love to hear if you like them or not. Because if you do like my one-shots then it encourages me to write more. Personally, I believe that one-shots are the unsung heroes of the fanfic world...but then again, I am crazy.
Thanks for reading, please excuse any grammatical and typing errors. Keep your eyes open for pt. 2 of That Damned L-Word...you think the title is PG-13?
REVIEW!