Running. That's all I could do, run. I finally stopped, near a lake surrounded by cherry blossoms. The same place I had seen Quatre walking with Trowa, talking of the war now ended. It pained me, just a bit, to know they were happy together, and selfishly, might I add, that I would never get to be happy. At least not for a long period of time. And definitely never with him.

The moon shinned bright onto the lake, the still water reflecting the light like glass. It was beautiful. I didn't want to stay, I feared I would destroy its tranquility. I kept walking, wondering what was happening with Niki and the others. She wouldn't tell, she had promised me that long ago. And if I knew her correctly, she would never break that promise. She might give hints, but leave them to piece her puzzles together. She was like that.

I ended up in a ruined part of the city, more or less a place no one would dare venture into and would never be rebuilt. Everything was in ashes, the dirt dry, concrete parts of building crumbling to nothing. Wires sticking dangerously up, rusting. Scrapes of clothing, fluttering pitifully in the breeze, a reminder of death and destruction. It began to rain, clouds now covering the clear skies. I closed my eyes, thinking. This is where I belonged – ancient ruins of demise. Blood stained a few spots on the grayish concrete, never leaving the wreck. I could see a few scattered remains of eroded white – bones of those who had fallen in the attack.

I was tired, weary from my thoughts and from running. Here would be a good place to rest – for now.

" Who are you? "That was the first question they asked. I felt hurt, but only for a second. Poor Duo...I knew what was wrong, and I knew he was right. But worse, I could not help. He wanted love, but was forced to be deprived of it. But that's what kept me determined. If he were to die killing those he loved, I'd be there with him, right until the end. If he killed me, I would die happy. And he knew that. But could not live with it. His whole life was a wreck, nothing I could fix. His past was the past, and I hoped to change his future. That's why I had let him come with me that day so long ago. In hopes of help. But it made everything worse – so much worse. Sure, he learned, but more than he needed. Kill or be killed, hunt or be the hunted, destroy or be destroyed. The enemy was never a friend, just a useless target that was in your way of victory. Trust was never an option, nor was truce. Those who pretended back stabbed you at the first chance they got. But that wasn't always true, at least for most people. Him being one of the exceptions.

" Hello? Are you dead or something? "I slightly grinned.

" No...but..." Duo. That's all I could think of right now. My little brother. Death, his sign, his signature. Shinigami, his title, his name. Murder, his past, his present. Guilt, his feelings, his future. I shook my head, tears springing in my eyes.

" So who are you? "I assumed this guy was Trowa. Brunette, weird hair that covered his eye. Beside him was Wufei, Chinese decent. Then Heero, standing ever so quietly and still. So the blonde...Quatre. I admit, he seemed pretty cute. And also looked so much like the young boy who had almost killed me...the one Duo had put so much trust into. No wonder he had a hard time.

" Niki, what's it to ya? "

" You seem to know a lot about Duo...you look almost exactly like him to, "Wufei commented, studying me. I snorted.

" Since you're the smart one, Heero, why don't you take a first guess? "He seemed a bit surprised, as did the rest of them. Hell, I knew tons about them, they hadn't a clue to who I was. Seemed the kinda situation for them to wonder.

" Sister. "Tch, that was quick. Smart one, Duo was right. Quick intelligence, quick mind, quick actions. Gotta keep that as a note to self. I turned to Wufei.

" So, Wufei, now that you're done analyzing me by what you see, any more questions? Or is Trowa gonna keep asking them all? "He seemed pissed by that comment. Good. Hotheaded meant strong thinker and strong will, very careful in acting. Sometimes maybe reckless, but doubtful by his looks. Seemed honorable. Another note to describe who I was up against if ever in a fight. Trowa...he seemed calm about all this. No doubt one who questions what he does, thus leading to strong fighter, probably agile due to his past life that I had found out on my own. Not one to show many emotions, like Heero. But that's easy – I have a good intuition, I'd rely a bit on that. Not to much, that'd be a weakness. So just a bit.

I turned to Quatre, who continued to stare down the empty alley. Naïve, I knew. Full of emotion, that was another thing. But stuff like that is deceiving. I assumed pretty fast, due to size, and a strategist. Most likely easy to confuse. That was a good thing. Trowa would probably protect him right away, being the older brother type, though Duo figured they were going out. Looking at them, I could tell that wasn't true.

Good, marks on everybody. Makes my life one hell of a lot easier. His companions were good in variety, strengths, but equal in weakness. Heero was the only one I was really worried about, maybe Wufei in some cases. But the other two would be easy to take on in battle. Not like I was planning anything...

" Anything else, because if not, I'm off. "Heero turned and walked off. Wufei glared, waiting for Trowa to do something. Nothing happened except a staring contest, which I found pretty boring. Quatre suddenly grabbed my arm.

" You know where Duo probably is, right? "Sounded desperate. Must like Duo just as much – makes things easier for my hook up idea.

" Yeah, hell, I know a lot about him. What's it to ya, kiddo? "Silence followed.

" Please bring him back..." I grinned. Yup, if I was gonna be sister-in-law to him, I was gonna have a great time with life. Wonder what his sisters are like...probably sheltered and preppy. Tch. Go figure.

" Why? "I asked. I wanted to here it for myself. Intuition was sometimes wrong...mine hadn't failed me yet, but I didn't want to start.

" Please! I don't want him hurt..." I laughed. Someone worried that idiot would get hurt – by someone else! That was a knee-slapper, that right there.

" Heh, the only person who could hurt him is himself. Don't worry 'bout it. Trust me on that – not me, but what I said. You obviously underestimate your so-called happy-go-lucky friend. "With that, I walked off. Hopefully that was enough clues to start off with...I'm curios if they have the intelligence to put that together.

I felt horrid – like always. I badly wanted to open up to someone, other than my sister, preferably Quatre. But trust was something that was rarely free and easy going. God, I hate my life. I glanced at the switch knife in my hand. I had had it since I met Solo...lucky piece of metal that had gotten me out of millions of situations.

I could end it all now. Now, and never think of it again. I would be hurting people who tried to care about me, but it was better than killing them. Just end it with one swipe...no more pain...no frustration...a few regrets, yeah, but I'd be freeing myself from guilt, and the regrets would eventually leave. Why hadn't I thought of suicide before?

Hope. Damnable hope. That this curse would leave me, and I could be happy with Quatre, and my sins would be left behind. But what was hope when there was no faith?

I pressed the blade to my wrist. Crimson mixed with the rain that seeped through the rocks above me, under the tiny space of dirt below a slab of concrete hanging between two piles of rubble. I couldn't feel anything, so I cut deeper. More blood slipped from the gap, running down my arm, soaking my shirt, trickling to the ground. Lightening flashed above me, illuminating a tall form a few hundred meters away. A long braid swaying in the on-coming breeze, white jeans like mine, bangs of brown hair hanging in the intense azure eyes. I slipped away into darkness, not wanting to do anything but rest – or, hopefully, slip away into deaths welcoming arms.

Dammit, Duo! What have you done? Taken the easy way out...dumbass. I picked him up – shit, he was WAY to light...he better not have gone anorexic. Hell, I thought his hobby included food. Racing to the nearest hospital, I demanded they half-witted nurse to help him before calling the others. It was Quatre that answered.

" Hey dimwit, guess what? "

" Niki? Did you find him? "So anxious. Damn; might as well break it to the kid easily.

" Yep. Oh, and by the way, you might wanna get your ass to the hospital before your lover dies! "I shouted. There was a gasp, and a second later, Wufei came on.

" What do you mean? "he asked.

" What do I mean!? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I MEAN!? "Hell yeah, I was pissed, and for a good reason. "I SWEAR TO WHATEVER GOD YOU PEOPLE PRAISE IF YOU DON'T GET HERE RIGHT NOW HE'S NOT GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FUCKING HOSPITAL! "That got his attention, and he hung up. I hit the nearby wall, continuing to create a dent as a few nurses begged me to stop, until they finally got there. All of them were pale, and seemingly frightened. If it was because of me, I don't think I could really blame them. Soaked with water, hair probably sticking out a bit, my hands kinda bloody, tears streaming down my face, my body shaking. Finally, I collapsed, sobbing.

" God dammit, its all my fault. I never should have let him come with me, I never should have taught him, I never should have been there for him...if I had left him he wouldn't know any of us, and – and – he wouldn't be so caught up in his past...its all my fault! "I couldn't help but think that. After all, he'd become the way he was after I showed him how to use DeathScythe. If I hadn't taken him from the church...he'd be dead already, or he'd be living with a better family, or in an orphanage. He wouldn't have met Quatre, or killed all those people. He never would have thought of being Shinigami.

" How is this your fault? "Heero asked. Trowa came over and pulled me to my feet. What, did they expect me to tell them? I promised...

But his life depended on his past. In a way, at least. I guess promises were made to be broken. After all, if my brother died, how would he tell them? Heh, I don't believe in the ghost factor things, so I guess I'll have to.

" Kill or be killed, hunt or be the hunted. Destroy or be destroyed. The enemy was never a friend, just a useless target that was in your way of victory. Trust was never an option, nor was truce. Those who pretended back stabbed you at the first chance they got. "I sniffed. "That's what I taught him. All my life, that rule had gotten my ass outta trouble and kept me hidden from the pain of deceit. I kinda hoped it would help Duo, too. After I pulled him outta the Maxwell church to make sure he wouldn't die or anything, he followed me around. I taught him how to get by – lying to others to make them think you mean what you say, hiding emotions from everyone. Those were the two things I was proud of teaching him, since he got so good at it. Sometimes I couldn't even tell how he really felt. There was also stealing without leaving a trace of you behind, how to hack into computers, piloting a Gundam. I told him never to depend upon others, because it was a weakness. I told him not to rely on strength, but to use intuition and knowledge as the upper hand. Agility and defense was the best bet at surprise attack, going from defense to offense quickly, using knowledge of your opponents to find a weakness, intuition to tell if they could back you up at times or if they would turn on you, and attacking with all you've got at the exact right time. And he believed me. "I sighed. "He'd killed so many people, and being an optimist, he knew that those he killed were fighting for the same thing he was. He eventually came across one boy, "I glanced at Quatre, "and befriended him. He seemed a lot like us, so I accepted him into our little family. A few years later, he almost killed me, and Duo went a step further and killed him. That was the last time I really saw him..." I paused a minute, thinking of what to say next. "He always thought he was cursed by Shinigami. Everyone he desperately cared about always ended up hurt, murdered, or he had killed them himself. I always tried so hard to help him, ya know, and...he just runs away...I can understand why, but..." I sobbed, more droplets running down my cheeks. "I never thought he'd go so far! I thought he'd hang onto hope, and keep believing that there was always a better tomorrow..." I stopped. He'd given up on faith. And I felt it was my fault. "He gave up...he gave up on ever being loved without pain, he gave up on a brighter future...he just wanted it all to stop, everything to end..." The nurse came over to us, a bit hesitant.

" Miss, he's awake. One at a time, you can see him if you wish. "She turned and left. I raised my head, looking at the blonde in front of me.

" Go. "They all gaped, in a way.

" But...he's your – "

" God dammit! Go! He loves you, don't ya get it!? If ever there was a stupider blonde in the world..." I pushed him after the nurse, who waited patiently. "He loves you, he'd want to be with you. You're the only one who can help him now. I've done my best...please tell him. I know you love him just as much. "He blushed, and I smiled. "Hurry now, before he gives up completely."

Yayz! Duo/Quatre couple! Fun fun fun!

I like them...they look good together. But hell, that's just my opinion.

Read and review! R&R! Plushies and cookies!