Our Wild Middle Earth: A LOTR Fanfic

Chapter 5: The Final Episode

Legolas, Haldir, Elladan, and Elohir had been busy working on the next episode of their show entitled, "Balrogs and Hobbits and Dwarves, Oh My!" After returning from The Shire to begin editing, a visitor came to see them.

"Leggy, my son!" Thranduil yelled as he walked into Legolas' room. "There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it, Daddy?" Legolas asked eagerly. "Is it my fan club? Crazy elven girls overwhelmed by my beauty? Or Mandy? She's supposed to come give me a massage someday."

"No, no, none of those people," Thranduil said. "We do control our borders extremely well. We'd never let those crazy elf women near here!"

"Mr. Greenleaf, is it my mom?" asked Haldir. "She said she was picking me up early today. Something about 'family bonding' or something stupid like that." He rolled his eyes.

"No, it's not her either," replied Thranduil. "It's Aragorn. He says he's here on important business."

The four elves looked at eachother. "Uh, is he alone? Or did he bring the whole Gondorian army with him?" Legolas asked nervously.

"He's here with four soldiers, and that's it," Thranduil said. "Should I send him in?"

"Sure," Legolas answered.

Thranduil left, and a few moments later, Aragorn and four soldiers appeared in the doorway.

"Hello, Legolas," Aragorn said in a stern voice. "I need to talk to you. It's important. Very important."

Legolas and the other three elves backed up towards the wall. "Uh, Aragorn, what is it?" Legolas asked.

"I saw your little show," Aragorn said. "And I hated it. You embarassed me too much for me to let it go. It's payback time."

He walked in, and the soldiers followed. They cornered the elves and 'tortured' them. (Torture means tickled them with feathers, covered them in dirt especially Legolas, and other stuff like that.)

The next week, the four of them gathered around the TV to watch the final episode.

"Hello, I'm your host, Legolas Greenleaf, and welcome to what will be the final episode of 'Our Wild Middle Earth'. We're sorry about ending it so soon, but due to last week's show, we've had a request to stop degrading those who reside in Middle Earth," Legolas explained, reading off the cue card that Aragorn had written up while they were filming.

"On the final episode," he continued. "We will take a look at Balrogs, Hobbits, and Dwarves. Let's begin in Moria, the home of Mr. and Mrs. William Balrog."

The camera showed two balrogs standing on the repaired bridge of Khazad-Dum. Legolas was nearby holding a microphone.

"So, tell me about yourselves," he said.

"We're Balrogs. We hate wizards, hobbits, men, elves, and all other good-hearted folk," Mr. Balrog said.

"Lovely! And what about you, Mrs. Balrog?" Legolas said.

"As you may know, I have my own jewelry show on the Home Shopping Network," she replied. "I design necklaces, earrings, and bracelets."

"Could you make me some?" Legolas asked eagerly.

"I only make jewelry for those who are evil at heart," she said.

"Darn! Well, thank you for letting us come today," said Legolas.

"You're welcome, but get out! You're starting to annoy me!" Mr. Balrog exclaimed. He blew some fire at Legolas.

"Well, isn't someone cranky today?" Legolas said.

Both Balrogs got up and chased Legolas out. The scene then went to Hobbiton, where Sam was sleeping in the grass in the front yard. The camera zoomed in on him as he snored.

"Ah! What in the name of The Shire are you doing?" he exclaimed after waking up.

"Nothing," Haldir said. "But smile for the camera. You're going to be on TV."

"Great!" Sam said. "Could you show my vegetable garden? And my flower garden? It's in bloom now!"

"Why not?" said Legolas. They showed Sam's garden, which were dry, brown, and wilted.

"Aren't they little beauties?" Sam asked proudly.

"They...they sure are," Legolas said, almost choking from the smell that lingered in the air from the gardens. "But we have to get going. Bye."

The camera then showed Gimli from a distance. He was out in the open with his axe, swinging at invisible enemies.

"Take that! And that!" he shouted to the air. He swung hard towards the direction of the camera, but stopped when he saw it.

"What...what are you doing, laddie?!" he exclaimed. "Were you...filming me?"

"Sorry, but it's for our show!" Legolas said. "The final episode."

"Why...you," Gimli began as he chased after them with his axe.

"Run! Run!" Legolas yelled, and they left quickly.

"I hope you enjoyed this last episode," Legolas said, as the camera went back to him. "I know we'll all miss doing the show, but it was fun while it lasted." He wiped his eye. "And thank you for watching," he said ina quavery voice. Haldir handed the camera to someone else, and he, Elladan, and Elohir all ran to Legolas. They had a group hug and cried together. Aragorn took the camera and held it in front of him.

"I hope this cryfest doesn't last too long, but goodbye!" he said, turning it off.

..........::THE END::..........

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! If you liked this one, then read the prequel, 'Home Movies'. I'm planning on writing a sequel to this called 'Trading Kingdoms'. Thanks for reading and thanks to anyone who reviewed or is going to review (that's all you silent readers out there-please review!). Goodbye! Adios! Aurevoir!

.....::LimeGreenDolphin24::.....