Captain Jack Sparrow was known as one of the fiercest pirates in the
Caribbean. His crew had plundered more ships than he could count and every
time he was at the head of his crew, leading them into battle. This was a
completely different situation all together and it terrified him.
"I love you!" The thing screeched, its arms wrapped around his midsection and squeezing tightly as if she were drowning and he was the life raft. "We'll be so happy together." He assumed that it was a girl but wasn't quite sure as it seemed a bit demonic to him. It was perfectly coiffed and wearing breeches and a shirt as if it could actually pass for a man. Jack spun towards Gibbs and Anamaria and the girl went with him, her arms still tightly clasped around his waist.
"What is it?" He demanded, pointing at it.
"I believe that's a Mary Sue, sir." Gibbs responded, backing away slightly. Even Anamaria didn't want to be near it, leaving Jack in an even worse spot.
"Surely you must be joking..." He looked down at the girl. She looked up at him with sparkling emerald green eyes and full pouty lips, her dark hair trailing down behind her. That was all he needed.
"Get it off me!" The frustrated pirate captain bellowed as she snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest with a happy sigh. "Do it now or you'll find yourselves floating home!" Anamaria winced and turned away from him, searching for a tool to pry the girl off of Jack with.
Gibbs held up his hands. "Now look, cap'n. Just take a deep breath and we'll have you out of there in no time." He gave Jack a reassuring smile, which faltered slightly under the pirate's angry gaze.
"Jack!" The squeal came from the door that led below decks. The pirate's eye twitched and he glanced over his shoulder. Suddenly he found himself stumbling forward a few steps as another girl, this one a brunette, latched herself onto his back. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you to come to bed." Gibbs backed away faster as Jack tried to pull the girl off, but at the odd angle he couldn't even get a grip on her.
"Get it off! Get it off!" At this point, the pirate captain's shouts had gone from angry to horrified. He saw his cutlass lying a few feet away where he'd dropped it when the first Mary Sue had tackled him. "Someone get them off me!" He shouted in frustration.
The girl hugging him in front giggled. "You're so funny, Jack." The girl behind him hugged tighter. Jack groaned as his stomach was crushed.
"That's why he's my true love."
The girl in front paused. "No, he's my true love."
The girl behind paused as well. "No, I am! I'm Amelia Sparrow, his wife!" She shouted. The girl in front let go of Jack.
"No, I am! My name is Holly Sparrow!" She shouted. Amelia let go of Jack and stepped to the side to better face Holly.
"Mine!"
"Mine!"
"Mine!" The girls argued back and forth. Jack watched the two for a moment before slowly stepping towards Gibbs and Anamaria. Almost as if they possessed some sixth sense, they both turned towards Jack at the same time and lunged for him. The pirate hit the ground, knocking the wind from his lungs.
"You're both wrong! He has no wife, but he is mine! I am Gina Raven!" Everyone turned towards the voice, finding another Mary Sue perched on the rail. She was dressed in men's clothing like the others, blond hair and emerald blue eyes as was standard, and laden down with more weapons than anyone could think was possible. "Back away now and I will not hurt you!" She boomed. Ana took one look at her and pushed her off the railing. Gina shrieked, but was cut off as she landed in the water below. Gibbs looked over.
"Sank to the bottom that one did. Too many weapons on her." He turned to look back at Jack. "Now what to do about this..."
Jack rolled onto his belly as he tried to get away, but Amelia and Holly had other ideas and kept dragging him back. Jack kicked out at Holly, but the giggling Sue caught his foot in her hands. Amelia shot her a dark look and grabbed Jack's face in her hands.
"Time for a kiss..." She said. At that moment, Jack let out the loudest frustrated bellow he could manage. Both girls jumped back in surprise. Jack scrambled to his feet.
"Now wait just a bloody moment. I don't want either of you!" Jack brushed off the sleeve of his now tattered coat. Amelia started to sniffle and rubbed her eyes. "That doesn't work on me." Jack muttered, his voice deadpan.
"Oh phooey." She began to pout, crossing her arms. Holly jumped up and lunged for Jack.
"You just need time to fall in lo...." The girl shrieked as Jack sidestepped her and went flying over the rail into the sea. Amelia suddenly got the feeling that she was very alone. Jack grinned down at her.
"Gibbs? Anamaria? Would you mind helping me out here?"
"Aye!" They both moved forward and helped him pick her up. Amelia squirmed in their grasps, protesting.
"But Jack and I love each other! I'm a pirate and he's a pirate! We're meant to be together!"
"I don't think so." Jack told her before the three chucked her overboard, where she screamed all the way down to the water. She resurfaced a few moments later, spitting up water and cursing.
"Get us out of here!" Jack called to his crew, watching in satisfaction as his crew immediately hopped to. He turned back to Anamaria and Gibbs.
"Glad that's over." He muttered.
"Captain..." Anamaria said. "I know you probably don't want to hear this but..."
"Daddy!"
"Damnnit..."
"I love you!" The thing screeched, its arms wrapped around his midsection and squeezing tightly as if she were drowning and he was the life raft. "We'll be so happy together." He assumed that it was a girl but wasn't quite sure as it seemed a bit demonic to him. It was perfectly coiffed and wearing breeches and a shirt as if it could actually pass for a man. Jack spun towards Gibbs and Anamaria and the girl went with him, her arms still tightly clasped around his waist.
"What is it?" He demanded, pointing at it.
"I believe that's a Mary Sue, sir." Gibbs responded, backing away slightly. Even Anamaria didn't want to be near it, leaving Jack in an even worse spot.
"Surely you must be joking..." He looked down at the girl. She looked up at him with sparkling emerald green eyes and full pouty lips, her dark hair trailing down behind her. That was all he needed.
"Get it off me!" The frustrated pirate captain bellowed as she snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest with a happy sigh. "Do it now or you'll find yourselves floating home!" Anamaria winced and turned away from him, searching for a tool to pry the girl off of Jack with.
Gibbs held up his hands. "Now look, cap'n. Just take a deep breath and we'll have you out of there in no time." He gave Jack a reassuring smile, which faltered slightly under the pirate's angry gaze.
"Jack!" The squeal came from the door that led below decks. The pirate's eye twitched and he glanced over his shoulder. Suddenly he found himself stumbling forward a few steps as another girl, this one a brunette, latched herself onto his back. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you to come to bed." Gibbs backed away faster as Jack tried to pull the girl off, but at the odd angle he couldn't even get a grip on her.
"Get it off! Get it off!" At this point, the pirate captain's shouts had gone from angry to horrified. He saw his cutlass lying a few feet away where he'd dropped it when the first Mary Sue had tackled him. "Someone get them off me!" He shouted in frustration.
The girl hugging him in front giggled. "You're so funny, Jack." The girl behind him hugged tighter. Jack groaned as his stomach was crushed.
"That's why he's my true love."
The girl in front paused. "No, he's my true love."
The girl behind paused as well. "No, I am! I'm Amelia Sparrow, his wife!" She shouted. The girl in front let go of Jack.
"No, I am! My name is Holly Sparrow!" She shouted. Amelia let go of Jack and stepped to the side to better face Holly.
"Mine!"
"Mine!"
"Mine!" The girls argued back and forth. Jack watched the two for a moment before slowly stepping towards Gibbs and Anamaria. Almost as if they possessed some sixth sense, they both turned towards Jack at the same time and lunged for him. The pirate hit the ground, knocking the wind from his lungs.
"You're both wrong! He has no wife, but he is mine! I am Gina Raven!" Everyone turned towards the voice, finding another Mary Sue perched on the rail. She was dressed in men's clothing like the others, blond hair and emerald blue eyes as was standard, and laden down with more weapons than anyone could think was possible. "Back away now and I will not hurt you!" She boomed. Ana took one look at her and pushed her off the railing. Gina shrieked, but was cut off as she landed in the water below. Gibbs looked over.
"Sank to the bottom that one did. Too many weapons on her." He turned to look back at Jack. "Now what to do about this..."
Jack rolled onto his belly as he tried to get away, but Amelia and Holly had other ideas and kept dragging him back. Jack kicked out at Holly, but the giggling Sue caught his foot in her hands. Amelia shot her a dark look and grabbed Jack's face in her hands.
"Time for a kiss..." She said. At that moment, Jack let out the loudest frustrated bellow he could manage. Both girls jumped back in surprise. Jack scrambled to his feet.
"Now wait just a bloody moment. I don't want either of you!" Jack brushed off the sleeve of his now tattered coat. Amelia started to sniffle and rubbed her eyes. "That doesn't work on me." Jack muttered, his voice deadpan.
"Oh phooey." She began to pout, crossing her arms. Holly jumped up and lunged for Jack.
"You just need time to fall in lo...." The girl shrieked as Jack sidestepped her and went flying over the rail into the sea. Amelia suddenly got the feeling that she was very alone. Jack grinned down at her.
"Gibbs? Anamaria? Would you mind helping me out here?"
"Aye!" They both moved forward and helped him pick her up. Amelia squirmed in their grasps, protesting.
"But Jack and I love each other! I'm a pirate and he's a pirate! We're meant to be together!"
"I don't think so." Jack told her before the three chucked her overboard, where she screamed all the way down to the water. She resurfaced a few moments later, spitting up water and cursing.
"Get us out of here!" Jack called to his crew, watching in satisfaction as his crew immediately hopped to. He turned back to Anamaria and Gibbs.
"Glad that's over." He muttered.
"Captain..." Anamaria said. "I know you probably don't want to hear this but..."
"Daddy!"
"Damnnit..."