A/N; This is chapter 2. (Ya don't say!) read it. and review it. this is a bribe if you write a nice long review I will read your story.
Ships:
Hermione/Ron
Ginny/Draco Ginny/Harry Ginny/Colin. She sure gets around, doesn't she?
No slash. I don't write slash.
Lots of catfights. But no scenic violence.
Chapter 2: Lots of Catfights
"What are we supposed to do? Huh? Huh? Huh?" said Hermione.
The Social Studies teacher looked thoughtful. "personally, I would go talk to the Principal."Draco gasped. "The principal? Wha'd we ever do to get sent to the principal? What is a principal , anyway?"
"A principal is like a headmaster." said the know it all.
"Well, duh!" Said Ginny.
"Don't you duh me, young lady," said Hermione in her prefect voice. Even though she was never a prefect because the fifth book was erased, remember? If you don't remember then there's a problem.
"How dare you tell me what to do!" yelled Ginny. "My cleverness, charm, wit, and beauty far exceeds yours."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"You want to take this outside?"
"Yeah!"
Ten Minutes later"Y'know I'm getting the feeling that this author likes catfights." said Draco.
"Can't argue with you there mate." said Harry. "Two in one day! That's almost as good as that one time when-"
"You realize that anyone could be reading this don't you?"
"Oh, yeah. Forget it."
"I'm not sure I like catfights." said Ginny.
"Don't worry." said her boyfriend. "she'll get out of the hospital in a month or two."
"You really think so?" asked Ginny.
"Of course!"
They kissed. The only other person in the room, (the Social Studies teacher had gone to have lunch.) said "Ugh," and turned away.
"NO!" Yelled King Kazul. "MY DRACO! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE! "
Ten minutes later"Geez." Said Draco. "That's three. Getting a bit old, isn't it?"
"Catfights will never get old." Said Harry happily.
"HA!" said King Kazul happily. "Now no one will dare try to steal my man."
"This is America, right?" said Draco.
"Yeah! How'd you guess?"
"Then it's a free country. I don't have to be your man if I don't want." said Draco.
"Well you do want to, don't you?" asked King Kazul.
"No!"
King Kazul looked very sad. "Draco, I thought you were my friend." Then her expression brightened. "Well this is fanficland. And in fanficland fanfic authors are in charge. And I say you have to be my man."
Draco snorted. "I'm a wizard you moron."
"HA!" said King Kazul. "Your magic could never hold its own against my author powers."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Ten Minutes Later"I feel so left out." Said Harry.
"Why?" asked Ginny, "Have you ever tried having a catfight with someone with author powers?"
"No. You got a point there. But it's just so sad."
"The Social Studies teacher said we should go talk to the principal. Do you know where I can find a principal?"
"a principle?"
"No you moron, a principal. Geez, this generation is seriously deprived."
"Deprived of what?"
"Deprived of...I have no idea."
"Well, maybe you should figure it out."
"Maybe I should."
"Hey how long have you been going out with Malfoy?"
"Since...since I broke up with you."
"Really? How long did it take you to get together after I dumped you?"
"About... three minutes and twenty three seconds. And I dumped you, retard."
"Didn't!"
"Did."
"Didn't."
"Did."
"Didn't"
"Did."
"okay, maybe you did."
"Did- what?"
"You deaf?"
"Yes."
"Since when?"
"Since... oh I know. Since I entered the school-wide screaming contest."
"When was that?"
"Five years ago."
"Five...geez, you weren't at school then!"
"You think I don't know that? Mom had to drive me."
"To Hogwarts?"
"Sure."
"Who won?"
"Who won what?"
"Geez, what's you problem, gal? The screaming contest. Duh!"
"Oh, that. We're not really sure.
"You don't know? How can you not know?"
"By the time the contest ended, we were all deaf. So we never figured out who won."
"I see."
"'I see,' said the blind man to his deaf wife as the cat with no legs got up and walked across the room."
"Huh?"
"Naturally, you wouldn't get it. But I really think we ought to go find a principal."
"Wait a sec," said Harry. "If the cat had no legs how did it walk across the room?And how did the blind man see? And why was he talking to his wife if she was deaf?"
"Harry dear." Said Ginny patiently. "Haven't you ever heard of irony?"
"No."
"Figures." grumbled Ginny.
"Dance."
"Freestyle."
"Creative solo."
"Um..."
"Er..."
"Well..."
"Well?"
"I...don't know."
"Humph!" snorted Harry. "I'm leaving." He stomped out. Ginny shrugged and followed him.
"I'm hungry." She announced, catching up with him.
"Me, too."
"Let's have lunch."
"Okay!"
"Where's the cafeteria?"
"I don't know."
"Let's find it."
"Okay!"
They wandered through the halls lost. Then Harry said "I know! I'll do a spell to tell us where we're going."
"Okay!"
Harry took out his wand and muttered an incantation. "That way's north." he said pointing.
"And that helps us exactly how?"
"I don't know."
"Awwww, are you lost, children?" said a passing teacher.
"No." said Harry.
"Yes." Said Ginny.
"Oh, I get it. Boys are scared to ask for directions." Said the teacher mockingly.
"Yes, we're lost!" Harry snapped. "You got an issue with that?"
"Yup."
"Sucks to be you."
"Harry!" said Ginny. "Watch your mouth!"
"What?"
Ginny pointed to a small confused child walking by. "There are children here."
"What'choo lookin' at?" said the small confused child.
"You." said the teacher. "You got issues with that?"
"You better believe it."
"Oh, well." said the teacher. "Sucks to be you."
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" said the small confused child.
"Er...this is a school, not a mental hospital." Said Harry.
"HEY!" said the child. "I resent that!"
"You do that."
"WHERE'S THE STUPID CAFETERIA ALREADY?" yelled Ginny.
"Take the first left, then the first right, then the first left, then the first, second, or possibly third, right." Said the teacher cordially.
"FINALLY!" said Ginny. "Geez."
Then they found the cafeteria. A guy came up to them and said, "Hi! Are you Harry Potter?"
"No, I'm Santa Claus" said Harry sarcastically.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" said one of them. "Can you do magic?"
"What do you think?" asked Harry.
"COOL!" yelled some other guy.
"See, watch." Said Harry. He pulled a pocket watch out of his pocket. "See watch? See watch?"
"Huh?" asked some random person.
"Er...sorry." Said Harry, mortified. Then he pointed his wand at somebody and did a banishing charm. (I don't know the incantation for a banishing charm because JKR never said it. Naughty, naughty, Jo.) Then he did a banishing charm to all the other guys. Then he disappeared onto the roof. Where all the other boys were. And they had a party and played football. Some people fell off the roof while playing football but we don't really care, right?
The girls were having a party too. They were glad the boys were gone. Because boys are evil. Especially the ones in my grade.
The teachers were mad. Parties were Not Permitted. They made everyone sit down and eat lunch. (Somehow it was the beginning of the lunch period, even though our lunches are like twenty minutes long.)
Ginny had no muggle money, so she found a nearly empty table and sat at the end of it. "HEY!" yelled a girl with red hair. "That's my seat."
Ginny lost her temper. She took out her wand and hexed the girl. It didn't work.
"Hey!" she said. "Your hair was supposed to turn green. You can't have redhair. That's my trade mark especially since I have no personality."
"It didn't work. I have author powers." explained the girl.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Ginny. "It's you isn't it? King Kazul How come I never noticed that you have red hair and no manners?"
"HI-YAH!" yelled Sian assuming an author pose. (Standing on her head.)
"because you're an idiot." Said King Kazul. "But actually I'm Cassandra now. I go to school here."
"Really?" asked Ginny. "You go to a weird school. I should have known."
"Thanks, so much. I love compliments." said Cassandra.
"Actually, that was an insult."
"Naw, really?"
"Yeah. Can't you tell?"
"That was sarcasm."
"Never heard of it."
"Really?"
"No."
"That was sarcasm, too."
"You don't say!"
"I'm ending this conversation right here. I can see it's going absolutely nowhere." Said Cassandra.
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Okay."
"Good. Glad it's all okay with you."
"Are you really?"
"That was sarcasm."
"Gasp!"
Suddenly three girls sat down next to them at the table. "Who's that?" asked girl with short brown hair.
"This is Ginny. Obviously."
"No, I mean the one standing on the table."
"That's Sian. She's weird."
"Not weird. Hyperactive." corrected Sian. She ran to the dictionary. "Hyperactive." She read. "more active then normal. Exhibiting hyperactivity. Now boys and girls," turns to people. "Do you see the word 'weird' anywhere?"
"Sian?" said Cassandra.
"What?"
"You're weird. Face it."
"YAY!" shouted Sian. "WEIRD! Happy, happy, joy, joy."
"Just ignore her. She'll go away." Said Cassandra.
"Sure." Said the brown haired girl. All of a sudden she jumped up and down. "Ginny Weasley?!?!?! I've heard of you. You were in the Harry Potter movies."
"The movies sucked." Said Cassandra.
"Gee thanks!" Ginny said, Peeved. (sorry. Again I had to do that.)
"Well they did! The books were good."
"BOOKS!" shouted Ginny. "Fiction or nonfiction?"
"Fiction of course."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Ginny. "I am a work of fiction! I will never be able to face the world again!" she ran and hid her head under the table. Then she sat back down. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"
"Sure." said Cassandra. She indicated the brown haired girl. "This is Jennifer. She likes horses, and drawing cartoons."
"Hi!" said Jennifer.
Then Cassandra indicated one of the girls across the table. "This is Rilie. She's the only mature one."
"Hi!" said Rilie.
"And this is Katie. She has red hair."
"OH MY GOD THERE ARE THREE OF YOU!" yelled Ginny. "The most redheads I've ever seen at one time is...(She calculated in her head) forty-seven." Then she fainted dead away.
A/N: MWAhaHAhaHAha! WoW! That was fun!
R&R. If you don't I will sic the ghosts of the people who fell off the roof on you. Or I'll just make them fall of the roof on you. That'll be effective too.