The question was how much longer any of them could last. The screaming, whining, crying, and general squealing from outside had yet to calm down and seemed to have increased in volume for the past hour. Repeatedly the cries of 'Daddy!' and 'Marry me Jack!' and 'I love the commodore!' rang out above the crowd and arguments would break out. Some of the more vehement ones would shout 'Death to Elizabeth' and 'Death to Anamaria!' to which Anamaria promptly drew her sword and tried to head out the doorway to skewer the bearer of such words. It took Jack's power of persuasion to stop her from doing any such thing, as removing the barrier and opening the door left them to a great doom that he didn't wish to think upon at the moment.
Norrington had taken to poking around the room. They'd managed to barricade themselves in an old storage room and he was quite sure that there had to be a way to sneak in and out. Gibbs was sitting in the corner, knees curled up to his chest as he mourned his empty flask and realized that there was no more alcohol to help him face the peril outside. Will sat on the floor, Elizabeth curled up in his arms and clutching at his shirt as death threats were shouted in her general direction. Will's eye kept up a steady twitching as he heard random love proclamations. Ana was skulking on the floor, sword still out and ready to do some damage. Jack was sitting on the floor, fingers stuck in his ears and singing at the top of his lungs, conjuring up any old sea songs he could think of to drown out the noise.
"I've found it!" Norrington's triumphant cry rang through the room and he came sprinting back around a pile of crates. Jack found it oddly disturbing how he managed to somehow keep the bearing befitting his rank, yet looked as if he were going to start jumping up and down giddily at any moment. "There's a crawl space in the back of this room." He said in a rush. "Come. We need to leave this place before they figure out how to get in here without breaking a nail and mussing their hair." The group needed no more encouragement and got to their feet, following the commodore to the back of the room. As he had promised, there was a crawl space and one by one they entered. Norrington, ever the gentlemen, was last.
"Where does this lead to?" Jack asked as he kept feeling his way along the ground, wishing for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
"I have no idea, but it's better than in there." Norrington responded lightly as they heard a loud crashing noise from the room they had just left behind. "Wherever we are leaving to, we need to move quicker!" He pressed. Jack hadn't heard a word said, already trying to crawl at the speed of light.
The tunnel seemed to last forever before they reached a rather sharp turn. Jack peeked around the corner to see light. He smirked and crawled forward. Breaking out into the light, he raised his arms and basked in the sun. "Thank you whatever power above there be..." Anamaria grabbed his belt to help herself up, as did Gibbs. Jack paused and then glanced over his shoulder to glare at them both. "Do you mind? I'm thankin' whoever seemed fit to spare our lives..."
Will got to his feet and held a hand out to Elizabeth. She took it and climbed to her feet, brushing off her long skirts. Norrington came out last and with the help of Will and Jack scooted a nearby abandoned crate over the hole. "Is everyone alright?" Norrington asked and there were various comments ranging from surviving to blatant thankful praise to be out of that room.
But the relief was short lived. As they headed towards the mouth of the alley, the sounds of feet stampeding across the hard packed dirt could be heard. No one needed to look over their shoulders to realize just what was coming towards them, nor did they need to be told to run. Once again, pirates, commodore, the blacksmith, and his lady love were running through the streets with Sues in hot pursuit.
Jack saw the blur flying at his knees too late and a moment later felt himself impact the dirt. An 'oomph' escaped him as he hit the ground. The group that had been at his heels saw the pirate fall too late to stop themselves and soon enough were lying on the ground at various distances as they fell over Jack's prone body. He rolled over and let out a groan as he saw the ten year old pirate with her arms wrapped around his legs.
"Daddy! I missed you so much after you left me at that port with that really mean nasty man but I don't blame you in the least because you're a pirate and the bestest pirate around and I love you so much so after I escaped from him because he was going to make me his slave I came looking for you and now I found you and aren't you so glad I did? Huh, huh, huh?" The onslaught made Jack's head heart and he let his body fall back to the ground with a groan, rubbing his temples.
"We're all doomed." Will moaned as the stampeding escaladed, as well as the shrieks and shouts. The crowd descended upon them like a plague of locusts upon a corn field. In the middle of the largest group, Jack pushed his way to his feet, which he immediately found to be a very bad idea. Suddenly anything that could latch onto him was. They squeezed him tightly, telling him how much they loved him and they couldn't wait to be a pirate with him. Jack slapped a hand away that hadn't been so much affectionately patting, but groping. The onslaught of voices made him feel strangely aggressive, but he realized that he didn't have near enough shots to silence them all.
Elizabeth felt herself being shoved back farther and farther until she reached the edge of the group and was knocked onto her behind. An extremely angry expression crossed her face, cheeks burning bright red as she got to her feet. She pushed up her sleeves and shot forward, knocking girls away, grasping hair and sleeves as she made her way through the group. Protests and mean commentary were shot in her direction, but she ignored them as she made her way. Reaching the center of the group, she reached down and grabbed onto a familiar rough cotton shirt and pulled upward. Will appeared, looking slightly dazed and covered in red marks faintly resembling the shape of lips.
"Listen up the lot of you." She shouted and there was a small decrease in the clamoring, but not by much. "This blacksmith here belongs to me!" She bent down and brushed her finger in the dirt. Standing up, she wrote 'Mine' in faint letters on Will's forehead. "If any of you feel the need to challenge this, please speak up." The roaring grew louder as the Sues shouted in protest. Will put his arm protectively around Elizabeth but was unable to shield her like he had hoped.
"I love Elizabeth Swann!" He shouted above the noise and it only grew louder.
"Will! You can't be serious! You love me! We were meant to be!"
"Elizabeth isn't your true love! I am!"
"Maybe that wasn't the smartest idea..." Will said, wincing and holding Elizabeth tighter. Elizabeth put her arms around his waist possessively.
"Away! Away with you all!" Anamaria shouted as she stood back to back with Jack. Glancing over her shoulder, she stared up at Jack with an eyebrow raised. "You've been a busy man, Captain, haven't you?" She inquired off-handedly. Jack shot her a dark look and turned to face the masses pressing in on them.
"I don't know where all of them bloody came from, but they're not mine!" He bellowed, trying to prove a point to them. The few girls that did manage to hear him burst out crying, tears falling down their faces. Soon enough it caught on and spread like a plague through the crowd.
"You made them wail again!" Anamaria groaned. "They're wailing again." Jack gave her an apologetic look and then turned to face her.
"I may have a way to make them quiet down." He told her. "But you can't slap me."
"Wait, what do you mean I can't...mmph!" Anamaria's eyes widened in shock as Jack grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her full on the lips. The wailing suddenly died, leaving behind an eerie quiet from all of Jack's Sues. Jack pulled away from Anamaria. She gaped at him in shock, mouth working but no words coming out. As if to challenge them to say a word, Jack turned towards the crowd with his arms crossed. Behind him, Anamaria slowly recovered and then smirked at the girls.
"You...you kissed Anamaria. Jack, how could you! I thought we had something special!"
"How could you do this to me? After all the moments we've shared together!"
"No! This can't be! I won't allow it!"
"Mr. Gibbs! A little bit of help would be nice!" Norrington protested as hands reached out, grabbing at his jacket and hat. He slapped them away as hard as he dared, but still they came.
"I won't be messin' with Mary Sues. Frightful bad luck they are." Gibbs told him before sitting down on a nearby stoop. "Besides, this clearly isn't my fight..."
"Gibbs!" The girl flounced down on the stoop, jade green eyes twinkling up at him. "My love! Where have you been?" She grasped him tightly around the waist. "I was awfully worried about you!" She laid her head against his shoulder. Gibbs' eyes widened in shock, but the only sounds he could make was a slight gasping as he was squeezed tighter and tighter.
Norrington shook his head and went back to trying to move out of the center of his group. "Now, now! Leave me be or you'll find yourselves in a cell! Don't laugh at me, I mean it!" He shouted above the noise.
"It's that Elizabeth, isn't it? She broke your heart and now you're afraid to love another! Poor Norry!"
"Indeed! Something must be done to rid him of this awful burden!"
In that moment, a Norrington Sue was talking to a Will Sue. After conferring with a Jack Sue, the three came to one conclusion. They had to remove the problem that prevented them from reaching their lust objects. Slowly the plan spread through the groups, each agreeing wholeheartedly to the plan. Slowly it became quiet, and the canon characters became very nervous.
"You know what must be done, ladies! Attack!" As if the pushy groups hadn't been enough, suddenly they swarmed over the six unlucky characters. Norrington, Gibbs, Will, Elizabeth, Jack, and Anamaria went down beneath the bodies. In the chaos of it all, they lost their grips on each other.
"Watch your hands!" Will bellowed indignantly as he crawled on the ground, looking for Elizabeth. Jack was lying on his back, swatting and kicking at the encroaching hands. Norrington was using his new cursing vocabulary to swear up a storm as he was prodded and pulled.
Then suddenly they were gone. Jack slowly peeked between his fingers and glanced around. "Where'd they all go?" He said quietly, bracing himself for another attack. Will opened his eyes and sat up, glancing around.
"They're gone alright..." He turned around to look. "But so are Anamaria and Elizabeth!"
Norrington got to his feet. "They took them! They planned something for them so that they would be out of the way for them to take us!" He made a fist. "Blasted Sues."
Jack glanced around, taking evaluation of his small fighting force. A drunken old pirate, a commodore who hated pirates, and a lovesick blacksmith. They were doomed.
"This only leaves us with one choice. We must rescue them."