Spoilers for: Love & Guns
LoveI had no idea something like this would happen. Why the hell couldn't I remember to keep my distance? When I first saw her--she was beautiful, and there was just something about her... I didn't mean to get that close to her, I didn't mean to fall in love with her...
Love. Do I even really know what that means? I don't think that I've ever been in love before. Is this what it feels like? This is the first time I've ever felt like this. Just thinking about her makes me happy. I wonder if she feels the same way about me...
We were kissing and that was nice, but then she said that I would be her first... I mean, I had never really...and if she had never.... Reality reared its ugly head at that moment. She didn't even know me--the real me I mean, and I didn't want her first time to be under false pretenses. And we didn't have any protection--what if I got her pregnant? (The Centre would have a field-day with that one...) I needed time to think... But, I still love her and can't stop thinking about her.
I told her that I loved her and she said that she loved me too. But, I have to try and remember that it's Blair Sandburg that she loves... (I wonder what she would think if she knew the real me...)
She said that she was leaving, and that was probably for the best... I told her that I would be here if she ever came back, but will I? (I don't plan on staying in Cascade that long...) I miss her already, though... I know that I'll always remember her; after all, she was my first love.