None of your Business – Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own them, never will. This fic is for self satisfaction only.
A/n: This is my first Josh and Donna fanfic and my third fanfic ever. Please forgive me in advance for all the mischaracterizations and mistakes. This story takes place right after Memorial Day. There will be angst and self-pity, but then there will be smut (which I'll post as NC-17 when it comes). For now I think the rating is just PG-13.
Chapter summary: Donna tries to get Josh to admit what he just said to her while she was asleep.
I take a few steps and feel the sand under my feet. I look ahead and see nothing more than the magnificent, blue ocean. I walk towards it, and then I feel two hands holding mine. I look to my side and I see Josh, looking gorgeously tanned and wearing nothing but some tight, black swim trunks, and an open white shirt. I take a look at his beautiful chest and I can't help but touch it. I feel his chest hair and I lean closer to kiss him. We stand on the beach like that for a while, kissing and holding each other, near the movement of the water, under the warmth of the sun and all is right in the world.
Wow, I must be on some powerful drugs, because this is a great dream. It's so realistic, I've dreamed of kissing Josh many times before, but this time everything seems so real.
Josh stops kissing and looks at me. He's smiling and those gorgeous dimples that make me melt every time. I look away from him for a second, to take in the view, and when I look back, he has a sad and agonized look on his face.
I ask him what's wrong, and he's talking, but I can't hear him. This dream is turning into a nightmare. I try to understand what he's saying. He looks desperate and his words are escaping his mouth, but I can't comprehend them. I try to concentrate so I can hear what he is saying. Suddenly my dream becomes more real and the landscape disappears, along with Josh. But now that I can't see him, I finally hear what he is saying: "Donna, please get better, I want to make it up to you, I love you, and I want to be with you, if you'll have me."
His next words were interrupted by a ringing telephone.
"Hello," I open my eyes and see Josh by the phone. His back is turned to me, and he doesn't know that I am awake.
"Yes, she's recovering. They found a blood clot and one of her lungs collapsed, so they took her into surgery... 8 hours ... I'll be here, sure, I'll tell her when she wakes up".
"Josh", I say faintly, trying to get his attention. He hangs up the phone quickly and comes back to my bed side, taking my hand in his. "Donna," he gasps, "how are you feeling?"
"I'm ok," I lie. The truth is that I can't breathe properly because my chest hurts each time I try to take a good breath. I am sore as hell, and the pain killers they must have given me are making my limbs feel so heavy that I can't move. I'm still confused and trying to figure out whether what I had heard before was a dream, or whether he had really said it -- because if he did, it changes everything. Oh, how I want it to be true. If I could just sit up and lean over to kiss him, I'd feel a lot better.
"Donna, I'm so glad you're awake, you have no idea." The look of relief in his face, his sad smile, the way his eyes moved from mine to the floor several times tell me that may be it was true. Maybe he did declare his love for me. Maybe it wasn't just a dream.
"Josh, were you talking to me while I slept?" The expression on his face is undecipherable. I can't tell whether he looks guilty because he realizes that I must have heard him, or whether he's confused, thinking that I heard things while hallucinating.
"I heard you talking to me, and that's what woke me up." His wide eyes look scared. He just doesn't want to tell me whatever it is he was telling me earlier; when he thought I was asleep.
"I thought the phone woke you up" He says, avoiding the original question.
Why can't he be honest with me? I really need him to be honest right now. He left his work and came to Germany after me, and he told me he'd be here as long as he needed to, so this must mean something. He can't just go back to treating me like his assistant. He has to tell me how he feels, unless he's scared of telling me the truth and needs some more probing.
"Yes, I guess, but I also heard some talking before that".
"You must have been hallucinating"
That's when he lets go of my hand and stands up, turning his back towards me. I hate that he backs away like that. Is this true? Was I really hallucinating and he doesn't love me? If so, why is he here? Is this some sick joke? Did someone send him here just to make me happy? Is he here against his will? Yes, that's it. I got it now. CJ must have told Leo to send him here in order to make me recover faster. Because CJ knows I love him, and CJ loves me as a friend. She must have sent Josh here to get me to recover faster. So I take a stab at him.
"Did Colin call me yet? I miss him." No reaction. Josh is ignoring me. I feel like a truck just went over me, my emotions are out of control, and the most important person in my life is ignoring me.
"Josh, I said, did Colin call me, or did he send me flowers?" I am pushing him now. I want him to say something. I want him to get jealous. I want to see whether he is here for me, or whether he was sent here because I'm his assistant.
"Yeah, these roses are from him".
"They're beautiful." I try to look at the roses but my neck hurts too much.
"Donna, your mother is on her way to Germany, and when she gets here, I'll have to fly back to D.C. There's a lot of work waiting for me. You need to go back to sleep so you can recover faster."
Ok, Now I know he's not here for me. He's here so I can recover faster, and he'll leave as soon as my mom gets here. He also didn't react at all to my questions about Colin. I want to cry right now, but I don't want to boost his huge ego by giving him the satisfaction of knowing how I feel. So I do the only thing I can right now. I close my eyes, and pretend that I am asleep. I hear nothing for 5 minutes. Apparently he's just sitting there. Slowly I drift off into real sleep, and when I wake up, I realize I must have slept all night and into the morning, because when I open my eyes, I see my mother. Josh is gone.
TBC