Title: The Lost
Author: MissAnnThropic
Spoilers: The Lost City, part I
Summary: What might have happened if The Lost City part II had gone differently.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Stargate but my rabid fan behavior. Alas.

"General Hammond?"

George Hammond did not turn to the voice calling his name. Instead he remained with his back the door of the briefing room, staring through the window at the gargantuan stone ring a story below. It was still now, so inert and deceptively harmless. Airmen were clearing debris from the embarkation room, just beginning to turn their eyes to the staff blast burns that pocked the gray walls.

The visitor that had interrupted General Hammond's pensive solitude moved a few steps into the room. Hammond did not have to turn and look upon that young and brilliant face to know exactly the expression it bore. Hammond knew these people too well, as he had come to know all of the men and women under his command, but his closeness to SG-1 was particularly strong. Doctor Jackson would look weary and heartsick, like a child who needed comfort and yet possessed the wisdom of a man who understood none existed.

"General," Daniel whispered again, his tone changed to make his word a sympathetic offering rather than a question. With every facet available to him Daniel emoted, expressed. Hammond was so very fond of that quality about the young man, a trait perhaps of which even he was unaware. Compared to so many hardened and guarded soldiers Hammond had known in his life, Daniel Jackson breathed and bled emotion, everything he did was tinged with what he felt. His hands moved with tenderness, his face spoke of hope, his stride sung of sadness... for those quirks alone Hammond did not have to turn to appraise the archaeologist to know exactly how he would stand, how he would blink, breathe, and hold himself.

Hammond knew all these things about Daniel Jackson, knew just as much about the rest of SG-1, and he often wondered how much each team member knew about each other because they knew one another far better than Hammond knew any of them.

That consideration, that possibility of a wound deeper than he could know, made the current situation that much harder.

Daniel was suddenly at his side, a silently appearing form in blue. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his lips pinched and corners of his eyes tight as he stared down blankly at the stargate. His posture screamed of loss, of regret and anger and the undying hope that would not leave Daniel despite the things he'd done that would have snuffed that spark in a lesser person.

Hammond resisted the urge to reach out and clasp the young man on the shoulder. "You all did well today, Doctor Jackson. I am very proud of all of you."

Daniel tucked his arms closer around himself, his jaw clenching but words conspicuously absent. When Daniel Jackson, the man with a poet's soul, could find nothing to say it was a sign he was the farthest he could be pushed before he cracked, the darkest he could be without completely losing sight of the light.

Hammond continued, "The weapon you and the rest of the SG teams were able to retrieve from the Lost City will save this planet and countless others when we finally implement it against Anubis. You have to remember that."

Daniel looked away, blue eyes skittering as they momentarily raged. He licked his lips and looked down at his boots. "I know, General. We did well."

Hammond had never heard Daniel Jackson praise his own work or efforts, and now that he did there was flat vacancy to his words. Jackson knew it was true intellectually, but he didn't believe it or feel it in those nooks and crannies of Daniel that made him such an emotional, sensitive human being.

Hammond sighed. "I understand, Doctor. Had it been for a cause twice the magnitude of this the sacrifice Colonel O'Neill made would still be a high price."

Daniel flinched. One hand came to his mouth and grazed over his lips, then slid up under his glasses to rub at his eyes. "He was the one that showed us how to find the Lost City, General. Jack was the reason all of this happened and he wasn't even allowed to go on the mission to retrieve the weapon."

Hammond frowned. "He was too far deteriorated by that point to be safe on an off-world mission, Doctor. I couldn't risk the mission on such a vital assignment no matter how much I felt Jack O'Neill should have been there."

Daniel folded his arms again, nodding, "I know... we barely made it back in one piece as it is, if Jack had gone he would have been killed while we were trying to get back to the gate... General... I think he would have rather died that way."

Hammond closed his eyes. "I think you're right. But I hope you can appreciate all the reasons I couldn't let him."

Daniel risked a glance at General Hammond and the older man saw a week of weariness carving years of anguish into a young face. As Jack O'Neill grew worse his team spiraled with him, emotionally and spiritually dying bit by bit with him.

"Any word from the Asgard?" Daniel asked hopefully.

Hammond, for the briefest moment, wanted to put his fist through the bullet-proof glass of the briefing room window. "No. We've been trying, but I don't think... I'm not optimistic that they'll respond in time to save him at this point."

Daniel's gaze dropped, the archaeologist paused, then he unlocked his arms and moved to reach into the breast pocket of his BDUs. "Before Jack... when he could still write he gave me this and made me promise I'd give it to you if the end was... if it looked like he wasn't going to make it." Daniel handed a crinkled and folded piece of yellow stationary to the general. General Hammond took the note and unfolded it with dread, reading the familiar and bittersweet handwriting of Colonel O'Neill. If this was when he was still able to write in English it had to be more than two days old... not since that time had Jack been able to manage any English, spoken or written.

Hammond read the note, but even before he made it through the first sentence he knew what it would say. In the same manner he knew how Daniel would look and move, he knew what Jack would want and for what he would ask. Hammond knew these people too well, considered them friends more than colleagues beyond the ability to remain detached.

"Did you read this?" Hammond asked without looking up.

Daniel nodded as he crossed his arms again. "I think he deserves that much, General. He knows he's dying... let him go home."

General Hammond reread the letter, heart heavy. Jack's scribble was simple and to the point. If he was going to die, he wanted to die in his own home. Hammond could not blame him; if Jack could not die in the field in service of his country he wanted to die in comfortable surroundings. Of course Daniel would be his advocate for that cause; Daniel had been made to die once in the sterile surroundings of the infirmary and would understand the desire to be where some of the fear of death would give way to the peace of the familiar.

Sighing, Hammond folded the letter and held it lightly in his hand. "I shouldn't let him off the base considering the security risk he's become. You and I both know the Ancient knowledge in his brain is altering his judgment.." Hammond looked up to find Daniel just staring at him. Daniel would not accept rationale and logic on this matter, for this his heart and soul had sway. For Daniel Jackson it could be so simple, so black and white that George Hammond envied him believing so certainly that he knew the right thing to do.

Hammond thumbed the rough paper of the letter in his hand, then turned slightly to more squarely face Daniel. "I'll allow it. Colonel O'Neill has contributed more to this program and to the defense of this planet than any other man perhaps save the other members of SG-1. I'll have to post a guard outside his home to make sure he doesn't do anything that would compromise this base or the stargate project, but I agree with you, Doctor Jackson... we owe Jack this much."

Daniel nodded slowly, corners of his mouth tugging down sadly. "Thank you, General."

General Hammond nodded. "You and the rest of SG-1 are off-duty." To Daniel's rising surprise Hammond explained, "I understand that at this moment our best resources are needed more than ever, and that the mastery of this new weapon is paramount, but this once I think you and the others should put your faith in the capable men and women of this facility. We can handle this without you, and quite honestly, SG-1 isn't fit for the scale of combat and focus this battle with Anubis will entail."

"General, Major Carter and–"

Hammond shook his head at the argument, "I'm not suggesting you, Major Carter, and Teal'c can't do the job without being overcome by personal feelings, but the reality is that this will be a fight worse than anything we've yet encountered, and the situation facing SG-1 right now... you are all better off leaving this in the hands of people who aren't being put through the wringer. Each of you are dealing with something that diverts too much of your attention. No one is blaming any of SG-1 for that, it's to be expected when a team becomes as close as SG-1 has over the years. This is a command decision, Doctor Jackson, and I would appreciate it if you would all obey me without protest on this one."

Daniel looked like he wanted to argue further, plead their collective case, but before he could utter a word the wind went out of sail and his frame sagged. He hung his head, defensive stance now slight and frail. Watching their friend slowly die was causing the members of SG-1 to fall apart, everyone else on the base knew that, and it seemed that Daniel Jackson just then realized it, too.

"Yes, sir."

Hammond felt hot bile crawl up to the back of his throat. Only a handful of times had Daniel ever called him 'sir', spoke to him the way a soldier did. Hammond expected it from the military personnel, but when Daniel adopted the same tone, the same behavior, Hammond felt somewhere, somehow, he'd failed.

Daniel silently left the room, probably to take Jack home. Recognition of his team mates seemed to be lasting the longest. Jack was much closer to his team than he'd been the first time this happened to him; when he'd ceased to react with familiarity to Hammond or other regulars on the base, Jack still showed recognition of Teal'c, Daniel, and Sam. They'd become so important to him that even an alien knowledge overriding his brain could not banish them completely from his mind. When Jack seemed to allow all else of who he was to be lost, he'd clung to that. If there was such a thing as mercy, he would still keep that up to the moment that he died. If he remembered his team, his family, he would not die alone.