Disclaimer: "A refusal to grant the truth of a statement or charge." Hm... I wonder if there are any loopholes?
If Only
Part IV
By: Penybright
Relena led a dazed Heero through the door of her mansion, tugging lightly on his hand. She allowed him to glance disinterestedly at his surroundings, before guiding him to the staircase. Relena then began to guide Heero up the stairs, glancing at him worriedly. Heero was staring vacantly into space, his movements languid and mechanical. Relena sighed, tears threatening to flow. It was disheartening to see him like this.
Heero had been discharged from the hospital only two hours ago. Relena had informed the doctor that Heero would be staying with her. There were more than enough rooms in the expansive mansion. The doctor agreed and instructed Relena on the time and dosage of Heero's medication, and what to do if Heero suddenly snapped.
They finally reached the door to Heero's room and Relena turned the knob, swinging the door open. She flipped the lights on and ushered Heero inside.
"This is you room," Relena said gently, turning to face him. Heero showed no response.
"My room is right across the hall if you need me," she explained. Still, no response. Relena sighed again, gently taking Heero's hand. She led him over to the French doors leading out to the balcony. The view overlooked the picturesque garden below. The flowers we gone due to winter's approach, but the shrubs were still green and hearty.
The scenery did nothing to Heero's blank, stoic expression. He simply sunk to the floor, sitting Indian-style in front of the doors. Relena decided to leave him be for the moment, and quietly exited the room. He was still in the same spot whe she came to get him for dinner six hours later.
Getting Heero to eat, Relena found to be a chore. It was a miracle that she managed to get him to eat three bites. She practically had to spoon feed him those. Relena began to wonder how much longer she could keep this up on her own. It would be a day or two before the other pilots finally arrived.
The hospital visits had been less than pleasant, and smotheringly quite. Since that first day, Heero had only spoken two or three words, most of which were one syllable. In order for Heero to heal, Relena knew he had to let his feelings out. She had tried to get him talk, which resulted in him sinking away even further. Heero never did deal with emotions to well, and this was proving to be no exception. Relena only hoped that the presence of Heero's comrades would help him open up a little.
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Late that evening, Relena was startled awake by the sound of shattering glass. She immediately grabbed her robe, stumbling down the steps to the kitchen. She had heard the noise from there. The first thing Relena saw was Heero, lying slumped against the cupboards. She picked her way through the shards of glass to him, her breath leaving her when she saw him fully.
"Oh, god no!" she choked out. "How could you?" Relena accused as tears began to stream down her face. She grabbed a towel from the counter and bent down in front of him. Blood had already formed a pool beneath his slit wrists. A bloody knife lay several inches from him. Relena wanted to scream, but held it back. She never should have left him alone. This was partially her fault...
"Please... No..." Heero murmured weakly, feebly trying to tug his wrists from her grasp.
"I...I- I can't," Relena sobbed. "Heero, I can't let you go!"
"Please," he begged, his hooded eyes pleading for her to let him go. "I- I don't want to feel the pain anymore..."
"Heero..."
"Relena, let me go... Please," Heero whispered breathily as he began to shiver.
"No!" Relena shouted. "I'm not letting you go this easily. You have to fight!"
"No," Heero murmured feverishly. Relena frantically grabbed the phone and dialed. She waited in agony, holding the bloody towel over Heero's wrists as he continued to fight her. By the time the paramedics arrived, the towel was soaked, and Heero had passed out. Relena was a nervous wreak, not even able to speak coherently.
'How could you? Why?' the questions continued to repeat in her mind like a chant, haunting her.
"Did I do the right thing?" Relena whispered sorrowfully as the ambulance sped away.
~ Do you understand why this is under drama now? I haven't decided yet if this should have a happy ending... I'm just not sure. Well, I'll get part five out as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!