It's been a long, long, looooong time since I've update this. I finally got back into writing, and I'm just popping out chapters left and right for all my fics o.0; I apologize for the long wait, but the epilogue for this will be up within a week, and then you needn't worry about me having to update this anymore :-P Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, I never owned GW, and I probably never shall.

If Only

Part XI

By: Penybright

The next month passed slowly, Heero's condition improving at times and declining at others. Just when Relena thought he was going to break through, he would regress. Wufei, after some searching, had been found. He'd been disgusted to see the state Heero was in, and had only stayed for a few days. Relena couldn't blame him, it was rather disturbing to see the once proud pilot in such a state. No one seemed to be able to get through to Heero, and Relena was the only one who seemed to have any effect on his mood swings.

It was a Monday afternoon in November. Winter had set in early for the year. Soft flakes of snow drifted down from cloudy skies, blanketing the ground in fluffy layers. Heero was in his room, staring blankly out at the drifting snow. It seemed to calm him, watching the flakes being tossed about in the chill air. Relena had left him to his silence, descending the stairs to find the other pilots. It was comforting to have them around. They supported each other.

As Relena was making her way through the foyer, the doorbell startled her. Making her way to the door, she gazed through the peephole to find a surprise guest.

"Sara?" Relena questioned as she opened the door for the woman. "What are you doing here?"

"After what happened… I'm sorry about Cyril. He's very volatile, and he never really got over our parents' deaths. I thought I should stay away for a while, but… I need to talk to him. I want him to find closure. He deserves to live a normal life for once."

Relena nodded, offering to take Sara's coat.

"He's upstairs. I'll go get him."

"Thank you…"

Heero stood transfixed at the bottom of the stairs, staring anxiously at his sister. His eyes flitted about, searching for Cyril, waiting for him to attack again. Sara approached her baby brother with caution. He was very fragile right now, and she didn't want to spook him.

"Heero…"

He flinched at his name, looking as if he were about to bolt.

"It's okay. I just want to talk to you… Please?"

Relena watched the scene unfold in fascination. Heero allowed Sara to approach him, if warily. She couldn't help but smile at seeing the two siblings together, as they were meant to be. Sara reached her hand out, not taking Heero's but asking permission with a look. Heero nodded. Smiling warmly, Sara pulled her brother into a hug. Pulling back from the embrace, she took her brother's hand and led him to a quite area in the sitting room. Relena left them alone, not wanting to disturb the moment.

"You used to love the snow when you were a child," Sara smiled wistfully, gazing out the large picture windows. "Heero… I know a lot has happened to you since you were taken from us… I won't even pretend to understand what you've been through."

"I just… want the pain to end," he whispered.

"The pain is what lets you know you're alive little brother. It lets you know you're human."

"I… I have no purpose anymore. I'm not needed."

"I think you know, deep down, that's not true. There's someone who needs you. If you can't pull yourself together, and live life for yourself… at least do it for her. She needs you. You're her strength, and with you gone… her world is falling apart. Think about it little brother, won't you?"

Heero nodded, a perplexed expression crossing his face.

"Think about it," Sara smiled softly. "The answer is right in front of your face. I'll always be here for you if you need me, but… family can only encompass so much of your life, and I'm part of your past. Forgive and forget, Heero. Wipe the slate clean and start your own future, free of the ghosts of the past."

Standing up, Sara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her brother's forehead.

"Keep in touch," she murmured, playfully ruffling his hair. Heero watched her leave, watched her put on her coat and exit through the door. He didn't say goodbye, didn't utter a word. His mind was working furiously, mulling over what his sister had said. 'Forgive and forget…'

Standing up as if in a trance, Heero made his way to the door. Opening it, he stared out at the peaceful snow covered landscape. Grabbing his coat off the hook by the door, he wondered out into the white solitude.

Yay! Just the epilogue to go, and this sucker is finished :-D