Sudden Impulse

By Red Guard

Disclaimer: I do not, did not and probably will not own Suikoden or any of the characters appearing in or associated with it. Konami owns the characters and events appearing in this work.

Author's Notes: Right, now to try my hand at a short and fluffy Suikoden story, I hope I do not do too badly.

Side Story 2 : The Maiden

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Biting cold.

Gnawing Hunger.

Sapping Fatigue.

The Alma Kinan woman felt beads of sweat run down her face. Her meditation had lasted hours. Days even. The ceremonial fire had burnt itself out long ago, but the woman remained in her position. Desperate for an answer, she begged the spirits to hear her. The agonizing pain washed over her again and again, but she would not give up. Not until they gave her the answers she sought.

'Do you still remember that day?' The wind whispered to her.

She remembered. It was the day she began to fall apart. It was the day her family decided to leave her behind. It was the day she realized that her ideals meant nothing.

It was the day her life ended. And her hell had begun.

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'Why are you so stubborn?'

'You are being irrational!'

She remembered how adamant her sister was. Everyone returned to the village when the war ended. It was her hope that the excitement generated by the war would blow over, and that tranquility would once again return to the village. She knew that several of the villagers would wish to leave, preferring to lead a life outside the village. But she never thought that her sister would be the first.

'I can't just sit here and do nothing. The war caused so much damage. So many are suffering. They need help.'

'They can handle themselves. They did well enough without us before the war.'

'How can you be so selfish?'

'You cannot ignore the teachings!'

She remembered their fights. They had quarreled many times before, but that argument was the fiercest yet. Yumi never questioned the teachings before, but for some reason, she was prepared to throw everything away. The teachings were ingrained into their culture, their way of life, and her sister was willing to it all up.

'I know what the teachings say!'

'Then why are you leaving the village?'

'I cannot stay here anymore. I do not feel at home. My place is not here. Why can't you understand?'

'You are Alma Kinan! You place is here, in the Alma Kinan village!'

It was strange. Yumi had always listened to her. She remembered the many times that her sister sought her advice. Now, her sister rejected everything that she had said and everything that she believed in. It was almost as if her sister had become a different person.

'Why are you so set against my wishes? What are you afraid of?'

'Why don't you listen to reason?'

'You are not speaking reason!'

'You are the one who is being unreasonable!'

She remembered that their argument lasted days. The whole village was beginning to worry, their sisterly fights were never this heated, nor were they ever this long, but she didn't care. After all, she was the one who was right. But was she?

'I will speak to the Great Aunt. I believe that she will understand.'

'Fine. Let the Great Aunt tell you of your folly.'

She expected to be vindicated. The teachings were central to the Alma Kinan, and the Great Aunt knew that. If she let one go astray, their culture will begin to unravel. She had never felt so confident of herself before. She had never felt her soul splinter so greatly before.

'The Great Aunt gave me her blessing.'

'What?'

She never did see Yumi off. She couldn't bear to. She remembered charging into the Great Aunt's lodge, and demanding that the wisest woman in the village explain her actions. She expected a lengthy dialogue on religion. Maybe, even a drawn out monologue on faith. But the Great Aunt just smiled at her, and told her that she would understand in due time.

She never did.

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Her tears began to flow freely. The memory was painful. It hurt her in so many ways.

'What did you do after your sister left?' The wind whistled.

'What made you come here?' The ground rumbled.

'What was the path that you chose?' The air breathed.

 More painful memories surfaced; the memories of a woman whose faith was shattered.

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She always knew that her sister was an important part of her life. But she never knew how important Yumi was, until she left. She was the fiery one. The one who wanted to do something, to do anything, to do everything. She was incredibly protective of all those she held dear – her family, her village and her culture. Yumi was the demure one, her emotional support. When she stumbled, her sister picked her up. When she faltered, her sister encouraged her. They were two halves of the whole. Therefore, it was unsurprising that everything began to fall apart once her sister left.

The loss of her sister's emotional support and the manner in which she departed cleaved an awesome gap in her heart. At first, she tried to beat her broken soul back into shape. She remembered going to all the children and forcing them to listen to her views on the teachings. She recalled telling her friends why they should not follow Yumi's footsteps. In an act of sheer insanity, she approached the Great Aunt and told the woman to reconsider her decision.

But soon, her energy petered out. She still felt empty. She still felt alone. She still felt abandoned. For weeks, for months, she went to the place where Yun sacrificed herself. She could sit there for hours on end, staring at the sky, wondering what where she went wrong. No one answered her. Not even the spirits.

She was an emotional wreck. She never slept. She never ate. She never drank. Her sacred connection with the spirits was lost. Her sister was no longer with her. She had no one to confide in, no one to turn to. She was so alone.

The whole village was worried about her. They asked Great Aunt to speak to her. But the Great Aunt never came. The wise woman's reply to their pleas was clear She had to find the answers herself.

She never did.

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'You pushed.'

'You pulled.'

'You fell.'

She listened to the wind blow.

'Desperation.'

'Loneliness.'

'Anguish.'

She heard the trees rustle.

'You cried.'

'You wailed.'

'You ran.'

Yes. She did.

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Her faith in her village was ruined. The Great Aunt herself had allowed the teachings to be ignored. Her faith in herself was dashed. She had not been strong enough to stop her sister from leaving. Her faith in her way of life was extinguished. The spirits themselves began to ignore her.

At long last, after many torturous seasons, she finally felt her willpower leave. In one last desperate attempt, she ran away. In the midst of the night, she dashed into the forest. She did not know how long she had spent running. She only knew that she could take no more. Her body gave out on her, and she collapsed onto a pile of leaves.

It was there that she started the ceremonial fire. Exhaustion ate at her sense, but she pressed on. The spirits had not spoken to her for too long. She needed to hear the spirits. She needed to hear the voices that guided her throughout her life. She would keep trying, even if it cost her everything.

So, she sat and began to meditate.

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'And so that brings us here.'

'You have many questions.'

'But we have the answer for only one.'

'You need many answers.'

'But we can give you only one.'

'The rest will only reveal themselves, when it is time for them to be seen.'

'You are young. You understand little.'

'The wise one shall be able to give you more than us.'

The cacophony of voices surrounded her. They had an answer, but for some reason they were not giving it to her. They spoke in riddles, and it confused her to no end. The answer. She wanted it. She needed it.

'You demand it. But do you deserve it?'

'Nonetheless, you shall have it.'

'The question is.'

'Why are you in such a state?'

'The answer is.'

'You lack something. It is not about anyone else, it is about you.'

'We wish you good luck on your journey.'

The voices began to fade. The spirits ended their session of riddles. She screamed at them, asking them to return. It wasn't enough; she needed more answers. She yelled into the darkness, but no one answered. But still she labored on, through the fatigue and the pain. She needed to find something. Anything.

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A gentle tapping shook her out of her trance. She cast her bleary eyes upwards, and saw a woman standing over her. Not just any woman. It was the Great Aunt of Alma Kinan.

'What are you doing?' She asked.

'The spirits told me that you would be here.'

'The spirits…' She sighed as she remembered the conversation she had earlier. She came for answers, but they left her with more questions.

'Yuiri.' The older woman smiled. 'I think that it is time for you to leave us.'

'What?' She gasped. Was this her punishment for defying the Great Aunt? Did the village no longer want her presence? 'Are you casting me out?'

'Of course not. The spirits spoke to me and told me much about you. You may not realize it, but you are searching for something.'

'I know that.' She lowered her eyes. 'I want to know why my sister left. Why did you let her leave?'

The Great Aunt chuckled. 'I let Yumi leave because she wanted to. She was searching for something too, but she hasn't realized it yet.'

'The teachings…'

'I know. Your questions are plenty, but I have no answers for you. You must look for the answers yourself. And I will not hinder you.'

'What are you saying?' She questioned.

'I will allow you to leave the village. If you want to return, that is fine by me.' The Great Aunt leaned forward slightly. 'But, your answers do not lie there. Do what your sister did. Experience the world.'

Silence reigned. Did her path truly lie outside the village?

'I will tell the others not to expect you.' The Great Aunt turned and left.

She picked herself up and staggered, fatigue washed over her once again. She took several slow steps and then sank down onto the floor. Her body no longer obeyed her; the exhaustion was too great. She soon found herself in a fitful sleep.

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In the inky blackness of her slumber, she felt the spirits speak to her.

'So, you have decided.'

'Remember the path that you took to reach this point.'

'Remember the spark that led you down this path.'

'Everything started with you.'

'Your beliefs.'

'Your life.'

'You.'

'Not about the Alma Kinan. Not about your sister. But about you.'

'You will discover many things.'

'And then you will have your answer.'

'Though it may not be what you expect.'

'Persevere.'

'Discover.'

'You will like what you find.'

'You will love what you find.'

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She trudged along the empty grasslands, her fatigue threatening to overcome her senses. She regretted not stopping over at one of the villages, but something was telling her to press on. Was it the spirits? She was too drained to find out.

She was hungry. She was tired. She was going to give out soon. She wanted to turn back, but she knew that Brass Castle was closer than any of the Grassland settlements. If she were to rest anywhere, it would be there.

She willed herself to move faster, but her body did not respond. Step by step, she walked onwards. Then, suddenly, she felt her foot strike something hard. She was going to lose her balance; her body was already out of control. She felt the hard ground smash into her side.

Her senses dimmed as the darkness began to surround her.

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She felt her body move. Her eyes opened, the searing pain made her vision blur. She saw a knight, a Zexen knight with blonde hair. Or was it white? Or was it silver? Was it the Silver Maiden?

'Lady Chris? Is that you?' She managed to whisper.

Then, the darkness reached out and claimed her once again.

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Author's Note: Damn this was horribly angsty wasn't it? Well, I made Borus a wreck, now I made Yuiri a wreck… so well… it's a secret. So, read on brave readers!

But seriously, this was the first piece that I wrote entirely in the second person. I use it now and then in some others, but this time it's a whole chapter! I hope it created the appropriate type of atmosphere. Seriously, I want to give story as much atmosphere as possible.

And yes, I hear you. The Side Stories will continue for a while. We will return to our usual programming of Fred/Yumi a while later. Trust me, there is a reason for this. Well, a reason other than my wish to make you all go insane with the flashbacks, flashfowards, this and that.

No Pre-readers were harmed in the making of this piece of fiction. Of course… if you WANT to be harmed in the making of my fanfiction, please drop me an email.

Anyways, please remember to email me at red_aurum@yahoo.com for any suggestions, critiques, reviews and the like. Please don't flame me, I have a fragile ego.