Sudden Impulse

By Red Guard

Disclaimer: I do not, did not and probably will not own Suikoden or any of the characters appearing in or associated with it. Konami owns the characters and events appearing in this work.

Author's Notes: Right, now to try my hand at a short and fluffy Suikoden story, I hope I do not do too badly.

Side Story 4 : Muted Celebrations

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Yuiri smiled to herself as she walked down the corridor. It had already been several weeks since she first agreed to stay in Brass Castle, and she would be lying if she said that the time spent in the castle was not memorable. In fact, she found it hard to recall any point in time where she enjoyed herself so much.

It surprised her, but she grew to like training the young Zexens. While she did give several of her Alma Kinan sisters pointers in archery, she never actually instructed them. It heartened her to see her young charges becoming more adept in the field, and she grew proud of them. After all, this was her first time in charge, and she thought that was doing a fine job.

It took some time for her trainees to warm up to her and she had to admit that Borus' intervention helped her cause greatly. She knew that as an instructor, she had to be as friendly as possible, and so she tried. It was ironic that she, the young Alma Kinan warrior who loathed the Zexen ironheads as much as any Grasslander, tried her best to be as approachable as possible to these Zexen youths.

For one reason or another, it worked. Soon, she was laughing along with her students during her training sessions. Then, she joined their occasional luncheons. And on Chris' insistence, she participated in the occasional dinner banquet. It was heartwarming that she was accepted so readily. If their roles were reversed, she did not know if she would have been so welcoming.

In her merriment, she lost track of the days spent in the castle, and now it was time for this batch of trainees to move onto the next stage of their training. Tonight, the castle's hall will host their graduation dinner and she was invited. Yuiri was slightly bemused that Lady Chris had asked her to stop by before the dinner commenced. But, a request was a request and Yuiri consented.

She rapped on the door and smiled as it swung open. Lady Chris had chosen to wear her formal dinner gown – a beautiful, figure-hugging, lacy white dress that did wonders to her figure. But Yuiri's smile soon turned into puzzlement as Chris looked at her in growing horror. 'Lady Chris? Is there something wrong?'

'Yuiri.' Chris chided. 'Don't tell me that you are wearing that to the dinner.'

'What's wrong?' Yuiri looked at her traditional Alma Kinan dress. 'I wear this all the time.'

'That is the point. You have that outfit on every single time I see you.' Chris fumed.

'I don't see what's wrong.' Yuiri asked, extremely puzzled at Chris' reaction.

'You can wear that to training. You can wear that to informal meals. You can even wear that to sleep, but there is no way you are going to wear that to the graduation dinner.'

'Why?' Yuiri challenged, getting slightly peeved. Her outfit was one of the few things that she had reminded her of her home, and she was not ready to give it up just to salve some Zexen nationalistic pride.

'This is the trainees' big day!' Chris carried on, seemingly oblivious to Yuiri's growing anger. 'This the day they have been waiting for. All of them will be dressed in their finest, ready to celebrate the end to this phase of their training. Wouldn't it be appropriate for their instructors to do the same?'

'Well…' Yuri faltered. Chris' arguments did make some sense, and it wouldn't be too hard for her to wear something Zexen for a night.

'Come on.' Chris reached out and grabbed Yuiri. 'I'll let you wear one of mine.'

'Hey!' Yuiri yelped as she was dragged into Chris' room.

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'Lady Yuiri.' One of the young men smiled as he passed by her seat. 'You are looking lovely tonight.'

And for the umpteenth time that night, Yuiri felt herself turning a slight shade of pink. Chris had picked an exquisite olive dress for her, and incredibly, it fit her perfectly. Afterwards, even after much protest, Chris decided to add a dash of make-up and topped it off with a healthy dose of her favorite perfume.

'They are right.' Percival winked at her. 'You do look lovely. Actually, you should wear that more often, would probably get the next batch of recruits to notice you more.'

Yuiri could only manage a deep blush in reply.

'Percival!' Chris shouted.

'Yeah, Percival.' Leo grinned at him. 'We can't have Chris getting jealous of Yuiri, now can we?'

'Leo!' Chris gasped and promptly searched for something to hurl at the burly man.

Salome just sat there and smiled as everyone burst out laughing. The impromptu entertainment was becoming extremely enjoyable.

Yuiri laughed along with the knights. They had treated her kindly over the past few weeks, and she was glad to consider all of them her friends. All, except one. She sobered down as she thought of him. He was in the castle that much she was sure of. But outside of that incident with the rowdy trainees, she barley managed to catch his shadow. It seemed like he was avoiding her. But why?

And why did he bother to help her then? And what was that strange look on his face as he dashed off? For some reason, this bothered Yuiri more than it should have.

Her train of thoughts was suddenly derailed when Chris hurled her napkin at Leo. Everyone burst out laughing when the piece of cloth managed to find its way atop Leo's food.

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The sound of laughter tore through the corridors. Everyone was enjoying the banquet. Everyone except him. He didn't feel angry with them. He didn't even feel sadness for himself. He knew that no one would want to eat with a butcher.

The blonde-haired knight sighed as another wave of laughter echoed down the empty hallways. He knew that his status as a Mighty Knight of Zexen dictated that he attend the meal. He also knew that he did not deserve that status. But, his immense guilt was not the main factor that contributed to his decision to sit the banquet out.

She was the reason.

He knew that she was troubled. It isn't everyday that one can find a hallucinating Alma Kinan warrior in the middle of the plains, especially one that is as well known as her. And from what he had heard, the Alma Kinan were fiercely devoted to their culture. Therefore, her desire to stay at the castle for such an extended period of time was mystifying.

He saw her try to fit in. He saw her try her best. But, it wasn't enough. He was not about to let another person suffer because of him, so he stepped in. Now, she was doing well, and he was happy for her. But he knew that she hated him. He knew why she hated him. So, he decided to stay out of her way, even if it meant that he had to endure bouts of loneliness.

But, she was happy and that was all that mattered.

He turned and walked to his room. He was going to retire early; tomorrow would be a busy day.

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'A toast!' Someone yelled as the dinner neared its end. 'To our mentors!'

'To Lady Chris! The most beautiful lady we've every met!'

Chris blushed fiercely and smiled and the group of trainees.

'To Lord Salome! Genius incardinate!'

Salome nodded his thanks.

'To Lord Leo! Who proved that strength does settle matters!'

Leo raised his glass and roared his approval.

'To Lord Percival! The greatest lady killer in existence!'

Percival bowed deeply as he laughed along.

'To Lord Borus! Even in his absence, we feel his passion!'

'And to Lady Yuiri! So Zexen, you can't tell the difference!'

Yuiri almost forgot to smile. The joy of the night's celebration was quickly replaced with a deep sorrow. One that she thought she had gotten over. She gave the tipsy group an empty smile, and drained her glass.

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As soon as she got back into her room, Yuiri stripped off her dress and placed it gently on her bed. After that, she changed into her usual garb and exited her room, taking care to close the door as silently as possible.

She took a long look around, making sure that no one was watching her. Then, she dashed down the dark corridor.

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She realized how much she missed being with nature. She missed the touch of the wind on her face. She missed the smell of the grass that permeated the plains. She missed the feel of the soft earth under her feet. She knew that she should be enjoying her private time with the field, but her mind was in too much turmoil.

She knew that the young men were a bit drunk, but the statement still hurt. It hurt because it was true. She tried to recall the last time she meditated during her stay in the castle, and she was unsurprised when she realized that she had never done so. She had enjoyed it so much that she had forgotten what it was to be Alma Kinan.

It was a shocking insight. She remembered all the attempts that she had made to appear Alma Kinan. She had told her charges stories about the village. She made constant references to her culture and the teachings. She had even worn her traditional grab on every occasion, be it major or minor. But now, as she stood in the middle of the Great Plains, she realized that all of those actions were merely superficial.

The true essence of their culture was not wearing their traditional clothes, nor was it preaching the teachings. It was about being one with the environment, it was about being one with nature, and it was about being one with the spirits. That was all. How she had strayed. How foolish she had been.

She collapsed onto the grassy field, and looked up at the full moon. Had she finally found the answer? After all these years of searching, had she found what she was looking for?

She felt her consciousness fade as the spirits spoke to her once again.

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'You have come a long way child.'

'But your journey is not yet done. There is still much for you to do.'

'What do you mean? I left the village with many questions, and now they have been answered, is that not enough?' She felt herself ask.

'Did you not remember the questions that we placed before you?'

'Did you not remember the state that you were in?'

'I…' She heard her voice falter. 'I am sorry. I let that memory leave me. I had almost forgotten how this journey started.'

'You wanted to know what it was to be truly Alma Kinan.'

'You have already found that the beginnings of the answer to that question.'

'Then is my journey over?' She felt herself query.

'You also wanted to know what your place in life would be.'

'But have you found that answer?'

'I…' She heared herself stammer. 'I don't know.'

'The answer is simple when we place another question before you.'

'Are you ready to return to the village? And never leave?'

'Yes… of course…' She found herself faltering again; the thought of leaving the castle was unbearable. 'I don't know. Why can't I say yes?'

'You would have done so when you were younger, yes?'

'When you were more innocent, more naïve.'

'I would have.' She reflected sadly. 'But now, I can't say yes. I feel that I belong somewhere else now.'

'Do not be sad. You are not prepared to return because you have found another place that you can call home.'

'But your journey has not ended, it is not even near its conclusion.'

'What do you mean?' She wondered.

'You are still incomplete.'

'Half-empty, or half-full.'

'I don't understand!' She yelled.

'You have already discovered the basics of the essence of the Alma Kinan. Now, you need to understand yourself.'

'Yourself. Yuiri. The person.'

'I don't understand!' She yelled once more.

'Once you do so, your quest for understanding will be over.'

'And the next phase of your life will open.'

And then, no matter how much she yelled into the darkness, the spirits refused to reply.

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The caress of sunshine roused her from her slumber. She had spent the whole night searching for answers, but she could not come up with any. What did she need to discover about herself? She knew that she would be asking that question for a long time to come.

She stood up and decided to head back to Brass Castle. While she found some comfort out in the fields, she knew that the castle was her home. At least for now. She took a deep breath, and enjoyed the smell of morning on the plains.

Suddenly, loud laughter interrupted her reverie. She paused and looked around, wondering who might be around so early in the morning. Then, she noticed two figures and a horse standing in the middle of nowhere. As she approached, she found out that one of them was wearing the armor of a Zexen knight.

She drew closer and gasped as she realized who the two figures were. One was Chief Hugo, and the other was the Butcher of Karaya. What were they doing here? Was Hugo seeking vengeance for his slain kin? Or was Borus looking for another trophy? Whatever it was, she knew that there would bloodshed.

As she prepared to make a mad dash towards the two men, they began to shake their hands. It shocked her to her very core. Why would the Chief of Karaya want to even touch the hands that bloodied his tribe? Then, Borus turned, mounted his horse and rode off into the distance, leaving Chief Hugo and a very stunned Yuiri.

Before Hugo could do the same, Yuiri yelled and caught his attention. He turned and smiled at the maiden running towards him. 'Yuiri, what brings you here?'

'Why…' She breathed heavily as she finally managed to reach his side. 'Why…'

'Don't worry, take your time.'

She glared at him, her eyes aflame. 'Why are consorting with such a beast?'

Hugo was taken aback at her vehemence. 'What beast?'

'That beast.' She accused as she pointed in the direction that Borus rode off to. 'The Butcher of Karaya! The one who slaughtered your entire village!'

'Ah.' He said grimly. 'You mean Lord Borus.'

'Yes! How can you call yourself Chief when you betray your clan so readily?'

'Calm down.' Hugo soothed the hysterical woman. 'Let me tell you a story.'

'A story?'

'Yes. A story about a young man, who decided that he could bear his guilt no longer.'

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Author's Note : Another one in the bag. Should be 2 more chapters before I return to the Yumi/Fred arc. Some side story, eh?

Thanks to GreatLight432 and Renfro Calhoun for pre-reading my work. Their hard work makes this piece a million times better.

Anyways, please remember to email me at red_aurum@yahoo.com for any suggestions, critiques, reviews and the like. Please don't flame me, I have a fragile ego.