By Red Guard
Disclaimer: I do not, did not and probably will not own Suikoden or any of the characters appearing in or associated with it. Konami owns the characters and events appearing in this work.
Author's Notes: Right, now to try my hand at a short and fluffy Suikoden story, I hope I do not do too badly.
Side Story 6 : Silent Reflections
************************************************************************
'Chris…' Yuiri began but she quickly realized that she was unable to conjure up any plausible excuse.
'Well now,' Chris looked at the Alma Kinan before her and sighed, 'I don't think that you will be doing much meditation while dressed like that.'
Yuiri cringed visibly as she remembered what she was wearing.
'I thought we went over this before.' Chris began. 'While I do appreciate the help that you are giving us, please remember that you are now an official trainer. It is difficult to maintain discipline among the recruits while one of their superiors continues to excuse herself from the training sessions.'
Yuiri nodded silently. She was going to be disciplined, and she knew that she had no excuses. What was she going to do now? The Knights would definitely not want a seemingly unreliable rogue such as her and she would no longer feel comfortable in the Alma Kinan village. She felt an indescribable amount of despair. Just when she thought that she found herself a home, she lost it due to her own folly.
'I do not mean anything against you.' Chris said apologetically. 'But, there must come a point where the rules come into play. You need to be disciplined. I hope that you understand.'
'I do.' Yuiri bowed her head. Shame, guilt, despair, and a dozen other emotions warred in her mind.
'Very well…'
'Ah. There you are!' A loud male voice tore through the somber moment. 'I was looking all over for you!'
'What?' Chris and Yuiri exclaimed in unison as they turned towards the hallway. And they were quickly stunned speechless.
'Lady Chris.' The knight hurried forward. 'I apologize for my forgetfulness.'
'What?' Chris uttered, still trying to recover from the shock.
'I am sorry, but I neglected to inform you that Lady Yuiri will be my escort for today. I meant to tell you but circumstances did not permit.'
'Escort?' Yuiri echoed disbelievingly.
He turned towards Yuiri and gave her a quick glance. 'Excellent. You have dressed for the occasion. Well, let us be off.'
'Wait!' Chris tried to regain control of the situation, which was already spiraling out of her delicate hands. 'Lady Yuiri is to be punished for breaching military discipline.'
'What breach?' He announced incredulously. 'It is within her right to be my companion for my journey. I don't see anything wrong about it.'
'I haven't been notified about it!' Chris huffed exasperatedly.
'I apologized for that already.' Came the quick reply.
'She has to lead one of our training sessions.' Chris shot back. 'It begins in ten minutes!'
'He didn't tell you? I asked one of the others to cover for her. He should be there now.'
'But!'
'If there are no further problems, Lady Yuiri and I will take our leave. I am already behind schedule.' The knight grabbed Yuiri's hand and began to lead her down the corridor. 'Come on, our horses have been waiting for ages.'
Yuiri found herself to be too stunned to do anything but let herself get dragged around.
'Hey! I haven't finished yet!' Chris shouted at the rapidly disappearing figures. 'Borus! You had better pray that the replacement trainer shows up on time!'
************************************************************************
The speed at which Yuiri found herself rushed out of the Castle was astonishing. Borus had been right. For some strange reason, she found her horse waiting in the courtyard alongside Borus' stallion. After being unceremoniously thrown onto her mount, she and her steed were promptly dragged out of the castle gates and onto the road the city.
As much as she did not wish to admit it, Borus had saved her hide with his cleverly concocted ruse. How did he know that she was following him? How did he know about her plans for the day? And most importantly, why did he do it? She glanced at her side and watched the Swordsman of Rage ride slowly beside her. If he had known that she was following him, why hadn't he confronted her?
Apparently, he managed to catch her searching glances. He took a deep breath, and looked at her. 'I apologize.'
His words startled her. 'I don't understand.'
'I should not have intruded on you.' He averted his gaze guiltily. 'But, you did not deserve the punishment that Lady Chris was about to give.'
'I should be thanking you.' Yuiri answered guardedly. She knew that he deserved all the gratitude that she could give, but she still found it difficult speaking to a man whose sword was stained with the blood of innocents.
'No. It is my fault.' He heaved another sigh. 'I knew that you were following me for the past few days, but I did not have the will to speak to you about it. If I had done so, this would not have happened.'
It was her turn to feel the stab of guilt. 'It was my fault and I should apologize. I did not mean to intrude upon your private affairs. You have my word that I will not do so anymore.'
'You had every right to!' His outburst took her by complete surprise. His gaze dropped to the floor. 'Your reasons were sound and your actions were just.'
'What are you talking about?' She stared at the knight.
'I do not deserve your apology. I do not even deserve your company.' Borus glared at his palms and continued rambling, his voice laced with remorse. 'A person such as me does not deserve anything from life.'
Yuiri wanted to say something, but she realized that Borus was no longer listening to her. Silence began to reign. The two warriors rode onwards, their journey punctuated only by Yuiri's occasional concerned glances towards the dejected knight.
************************************************************************
They reached the city by nightfall and it was apparent that whatever errand Borus had to run, it had to be done the next morning. And so their silent journey continued on until they reached the midst of the tavern.
'Ah, Lord Borus, you are finally here.' The tavern-keeper smiled as he watched the knight approach. 'As always, your favorite room has been prepared.'
'Thank you.' Borus reached forward and received the keys that were presented to him. He motioned towards Yuiri. 'I need another room for my companion.'
'Ah, of course.' The tavern-keeper turned towards her. 'Which room do you wish to have? We have many…'
'Give her the best one.' Borus interrupted quickly. 'Put it on my tab.'
'I can't accept your hospitality.' Yuiri insisted. 'I will pay for it.'
'No.' Borus gave her a glare. 'You will not do such a thing.'
'You insult me?' Her anger flared.
'I brought you here.' He turned towards the tavern-keeper and accepted another bundle of keys. 'I will pay for your expenses.'
'I will not accept anything from anybody.' She growled furiously. 'Especially not from one such as you.'
Her words had a profound impact on him. A look pain crossed his face and the aura of despair once again settled upon him. He took her hand and pressed the keys into her palm. Silently, he turned and climbed the stairs to his room.
She cursed her own temper. She wanted to apologize, but after one look at Borus' anguish, she realized that she would never be able to say anything meaningful. She could only watch in silence, as he walked towards his room. She looked at the keys in her hand and knew that she would not get much sleep that night.
************************************************************************
She was right. It had been over four hours, and still she continued to lay in her bed, sleep escaping her. The day's events continued to flash before her eyes. The extreme guilt she was feeling gnawed at her senses. She tried to justify her actions. Borus was a monster. He had slaughtered countless people in his maniacal bloodlust. He did not deserve to live. She should not feel any guilt over him, she not in the wrong. In fact, she was not doing enough to punish the butcher.
The train of thought died quickly. She tossed to her side in frustration. She had never seen the butchering of Karaya, but she knew it happened. Borus was a monster, a killer, a butcher, but she had to admit that she saw none of that during her time with the Zexens.
She did not see much of him, but what she did see was a haunted soul. A soul consumed with remorse and anguish. A soul desperate in its attempts to cling to whatever shreds of honor it had left. A soul searching for redemption, but somehow knew that it would its search would be never-ending. Chief Hugo was spot on. Borus was torturing himself, and she had added to his pain.
Yuiri sighed heavily as she got out of her bed. She was not going to be able to catch any sleep while she was still in such a state. She reached for her nightgown and shrugged it on, thinking that a light drink will help ease her tensions. She left her room and descended the stairs.
Somehow, it didn't surprise her that she found Borus sitting at a table, hunched over what seemed like a glass of liquor. It surprised her when she realized that he was not wearing his armor. Somehow, without it, he seemed smaller, more human. It was a golden opportunity for her to ease the oppressing weight of guilt, and Yuiri was not about to let it slip by.
'I'm sorry for what I said.' Borus muttered as she approached.
Those words were supposed to be hers. 'What?'
'I shouldn't have…'
'No.' Yuiri interrupted. 'I should be the one apologizing. I should not have said what I did.'
'I do not blame you for that.' Borus took another mouthful of his drink. 'I do not deserve your company. I do not deserve anything from you.'
'I did not mean what I said.' She tried to reason with the knight.
'You lie.' He replied softly. 'I know what you think I am.'
Sense dictated that she persecute him further. He deserved it for causing such death and destruction. But, she could not do it. She could not torment someone so anguished. Her thoughts clashed with each other, and her head throbbed from the chaos that ensued from it.
He took another gulp of liquor. 'I know what everyone thinks I am.'
She looked at him. This was not the Butcher of Karaya. This was a man in dire need of help. She watched him drain his glass and slump forward. 'I…' She tried to say something, but then she discovered that she had nothing to say to him. What does one say to a soul so consumed by grief?
He stared at his palms. 'These hands are soaked in blood. The blood of your kin. How can you not think of me as a monster? My honor has been irrevocably tarnished. How can I think of myself as a knight?'
She should leave now. Here was the murderer of women and children. Here was the man that razed a while village. But she did not turn and run. In fact, she did the complete opposite. She sat down beside him, and was incredibly surprised that she did so.
'Do you not hate me? Do you not want to run a sword through my heart?' He laughed sardonically. 'I wanted to, but I was too much of a coward to take my own life.'
'Borus…' What was she supposed to do?
'The Butcher of Karaya. I know.' He faced her and began yelling, his eyes wild. 'What am I supposed to do? What?'
'I… I don't know.' She admitted softly.
'You are of the Grasslands! Tell me what I must do! I can't take this anymore.' He clutched his head. 'They call at me. Every day, every night. I thought I managed to get rid of them, but they never left.'
She could only watch in shock as Borus' eyes began to water.
'Why did I do it? Why do I still live after I committed such a heinous crime? Why?' He grabbed her shoulders.
'I can't answer your question.' She answered quietly. 'I don't know.'
'You hate me don't you?' He stared into her eyes. 'Why are you here? You hate me. Everyone hates me. Even I hate myself.'
'I…' She was quickly cut off as Borus slumped onto her, his head rested on her shoulders and his body began to shudder as he wept.
Yuiri was shocked beyond belief. But what stunned her even more was the fact that she had wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to cry on her shoulder.
They stayed like that until the morning broke. Yuiri blinked as the sun began to shine upon her face. She sighed wearily; she still hadn't been able to catch any sleep. She took a quick glance at the man whose head still lay on her shoulder, and was slightly surprised to find Borus fast asleep. Unbeknownst to her, this was the first time in many months that the young Lord Borus had slept soundly.
While Yuiri would vehemently deny it, the tavern-keeper would swear that, at that moment, she had the most contented smile he had ever seen upon her face.
************************************************************************
Author's Note : Aww… the sap…
Looks like I won't be finishing this side story any time soon… instead of forcefully ending this, I'll just let it run on… and on… and on until it ends naturally. That should work, I hope.
Thanks to GreatLight432 and Renfro Calhoun for pre-reading my work. Their hard work makes this piece a million times better.
Anyways, please remember to email me at red_aurum@yahoo.com for any suggestions, critiques, reviews and the like. Please don't flame me, I have a fragile ego.