Sudden Impulse

By Red Guard

Disclaimer: I do not, did not and probably will not own Suikoden or any of the characters appearing in or associated with it. Konami owns the characters and events appearing in this work.

Author's Notes: Right, now to try my hand at a short and fluffy Suikoden story, I hope I do not do too badly.

Side Story 8: Traumatic Endings

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The trotting of his horse did little to dispel the daze that he was in. So many things had happened so quickly. His life had been thrown into disarray. Anger, despair, remorse, fear and countless other emotions burned him from within and his mind was now just beginning to piece everything back together.

He remembered her tearing up the stairs, bolting into her room and slamming the door shut. He remembered the Alma Kinans' glares, but he also recalled ignoring the piercing looks as he dashed upstairs in a vain attempt to undo whatever damage had been done. He did everything. He called out to her, he yelled for her, he rapped on the door, he pounded on the door, but it was all in vain, the door did not open, and he could not do anything about it.

Hours passed, sunrise broke, and sunset passed, and still he watched her door. Waiting alone was excruciatingly painful. It had dawned upon him that he had spent so many days, so many weeks, trying to distance himself from society, that he had forgotten how good it felt to have a companion. They did not spend much time together, but he felt that he had known her for a lifetime.

In an act of utter desperation, he summoned the tavern-keeper and asked him to open the door. He had expected little argument, and indeed little argument was given, but when the door swung open, the room was empty, a chilly draft blowing in from the open window.

In his stunned stupor, he mounted his horse and began the long journey back to Brass Castle.  She had left, and try as he might, he did not feel the slightest bit of surprise. He never did deserve her company, and while he was thankful for the time that he spent with her, he knew that that time would end. But what he didn't expect was how excruciatingly painful it would be.

He let out a slow and painful sigh. Maybe he would find her at Brass Castle, but he didn't know what to do if he did. He could apologize, but what was there to apologize about? He could try to renew their friendship, but did he want to condemn her to such a fate? Would she even want to consort with a butcher after what had happened? She had such strong ties with her roots, and he could not bring himself to force her to turn her back on her past.

A cloud of despair hung over him as he took the solitary journey back home.

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She collapsed onto the ground in a head, the taste of cowardice in her mouth. She looked out across the grassy fields and forced herself to blink back the tears. She still did not understand why she ran. She knew that she could have spoken to Borus, she knew that he would listen to her, and she knew that everything would have been solved.

But she didn't. She couldn't. The world where she dwelled in for the past few weeks came crashing down around her. It was a world where her past no longer mattered, where the present was the only thing that counted and where she had finally found a measure of peace. In hindsight, she realized that she had been ridiculously naïve. Nothing changed. She was still the small person who ran away from her tradition. She was still the one who was unable to find the peace that she had sought so desperately.

She turned her back on the Alma Kinan, and they knew it. She tried to preserve the last vestiges of her heritage as she mingled with the Zexens, but she didn't belong there either. What sense of belonging she felt was an illusion. Whatever happiness she experienced was temporary.

Everything was an illusion.

But what a fantastic illusion it was and she wanted to experience it all over again. She never felt so alive and so at peace before. She remembered the freedom that she had. The freedom to do what she wanted, the freedom to believe what she wanted, the freedom to be what she wanted to be, and most of all, the freedom to be alongside someone that she considered a great friend.

She had changed so much that it was a wonder that her sisters recognized her at all. She glanced down at the dress that she wore. It was Zexen, yet it felt so right on her person. She looked around at the swaying stalks of grass. She felt at home here too. She remembered Borus, the man that everyone hated, the butcher that everyone so reviled, and yet she recalled the times that spent the days laughing along with him.

Tears streaked down her cheeks once more. She no longer understood anything. She didn't know who she was anymore. Her Alma Kinan kinsmen were correct. She was no longer one of them.

The fact that that statement drew no emotion from her, worried her most of all.

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Chris raised her hands and waved it wildly in an attempt to rouse the horse-riding Borus from his daze. 'Borus! Are you there? This is not the time for a midday snooze!'

'I'm sorry, Chris.' His voice could barely be heard over the bustle of the Castle's noontime crowd. 'I don't feel well.'

She raised her eyebrow slightly. Borus? Sick? 'Are you sure?'

'Is Yuiri here?'

'I thought she was with you.' Chris answered, slightly puzzled by Borus' strange behavior. 'I didn't see her the whole morning.'

'I see.' He looked positively deflated. 'If there is nothing left for me, I will be retiring to my room.'

'What?' Chris felt her jaw drop, shocked at his callousness and audacity. Was this truly Borus? Or was the heat getting to her?

His only response was to spur his horse onward, utterly oblivious to the stunned lady that he was leaving behind.

'Borus!' Chris yelled at the top of her lungs.

Still, he didn't respond.

'Borus! Answer me this instant or you'll be sorry!'

By then, he had already reached the gates of the massive castle.

'Borus!' Came the furious cry of a woman ignored.

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Her horse neighed softly as it prodded her with its head. She sighed deeply as she ran her hand through its thick mane. 'I know.' She whispered slowly. 'You want to go back don't you?'

A cool breeze brushed past them, causing her hair to flutter in the wind.

'I can't go back.' She looked at the sky, as if the passing clouds would give her answers to her questions. 'Not after what I did.'

She had tried to meditate, but she could not gather the strength to concentrate. Every time she tried to still her mind, she always ended up thinking about the events that passed. He would be worried sick about her, that she knew. But what would she say if she returned? Nothing would ever be the same again. She would always doubt herself. Every single day would, she would live in fear of being seen by her kin. She couldn't live like that, and would never want him to her like that.

But she couldn't live like this either. She was at a loss. She turned to her horse and gave it another caress, 'Home isn't far from here. Go back without me.'

Immediately, the horse reared back and shook its head firmly.

'You don't want to go?' She said softly. 'Why do you want to with me?'

She already knew the answer. The horse wasn't one to run away from duty. If only the same thing could be said about her. She watched the sun begin its downward climb. She had to return to the city. He would be waiting for her.

She had to tell him something.

Even if that something was that she would be leaving. Forever.

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'Are you sure about this?'

'Yes, Great Aunt.' The older of the warriors spoke quickly, desperate to get the news across. 'We saw her in the tavern.'

'Dressed in Zexen's finest.' The other female warrior chimed in. 'And consorting with none other than the Butcher himself.'

'You are sure that it was her?'

'At first, we thought that she was someone else. After all, she was very different from the woman that left this village. But, after we confronted her, we were certain that it was her.'

'She fled into one of the tavern's rooms, with the Butcher following close behind.'

'Please, Great Aunt.' The warrior beseeched. 'Yuiri needs our help. She has obviously been corrupted by the Butcher. There is no other explanation for her behavior.'

'This is most distressing.' The Great Aunt agreed somberly. 'Please leave me to my meditations. I will consult the spirits.'

'Thank you, Great Aunt.' The warriors bowed and left the room swiftly.

The wise woman waited a while, then turned around and faced the shadows that clung to her abode's walls. 'They have already left. You can show yourself, young chief.'

A Karayan youth stepped out of the darkness, a solemn look on his face. 'I expected more from them.'

'From my children?' The Great Aunt said softly. 'What would you have expected them to do? Seeing one of their own acting in such a manner is not an everyday occurrence.'

'Not them.' Hugo shook his head. 'From Borus and Yuiri. I thought they were getting along splendidly.'

'You are young, Chieftain Hugo. Experience has taught me that hearts change slowly.'

'I must make haste for Vinay Del Zexay.'

'Why?'

Hugo took a deep breath. 'Borus will break if Yuiri is not around him, and I fear that he will resort to drastic measures.'

'You care so much about the man who brought such destruction upon your village.'

'His sins have been paid for in full.' Hugo said stiffly. 'In any case, my conscience will not rest if I choose to do nothing.'

'Well said young chieftain.' The woman smiled. 'Then let us go to the Plains.'

'Us?' Hugo echoed in bewilderment. 'The Plains?'

'You will find nothing in the Zexen city. But enough of this talk, we must leave before the opportunity escapes us.'

'How do you know?'

'The spirits, young chieftain. The spirits know all.'

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It was decided.

He sheathed his sword and hung the scabbard around his waist. A sense of purpose dominated his thoughts. The time that had been given to him was spent. All those years ago, when he was living in torment, he had begged for joy in his life. And it came. It was not the simple contentment of paying for the heinous crimes that he had committed, but rather sheer happiness borne out of spending time with those that he cared for.

Now, it was over. But he was content.

He strode out of the room, and took a longing look at the place that he called his home. The memories were still fresh in his mind. He remembered the beginnings of the war that shook the Grasslands, and he remembered the glorious party that they held after their victory. He remembered all his fellow knights, the great captain, and the lady that he spent his last few weeks with.

'Borus!' A slightly peeved voice rang out. 'Stop right there! Where do you think you are going?'

He turned and watched the furious visage of Lady Chris stomp its way towards him. He could have laughed, but he didn't. Now was not the time for gaiety.

'You better have a fantastic explanation for me.' She demanded hotly.

'I am sorry Lady Chris, but I must leave.'

'Not again.' She cried out in exasperation. 'Where are you going this time?'

'To give some old friends a visit. Don't expect me back, I will be gone forever.'

'Huh?' She hated it, but once again she felt herself fall into a state of utter astonishment, helpless to prevent the armor-clad knight from walking away.

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The tavernkeeper looked at hear slowly, and heaved another huge sigh. 'Lord Borus left after he found out that you had disappeared.'

'I thought he would be here waiting for me.' Yuiri was flustered and it showed. 'Why did he leave? Did he not have something to do?'

'You still don't understand, do you?'

'What?' She asked, puzzled. 'What do you mean?'

'You did great things for the young man.' He closed his eyes as he reminisced. 'Did you not feel how alive he was?'

'I…' She did not understand. 'I don't know.'

'Then let me tell you of the young knight. The brash youth that he was, the tortured soul he became and the joyous soul that you had by your side for so long.'

It took them half a day, but she never did stop crying as she rode her horse towards the Castle.

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Author's Note :

Another one done! I'm sorry about the delay, but schoolwork is killing me… sigh.

Luckily, Christmas is around the corner, so I can do some quick work on my fics, should be able to churn out a chapter or two before the next semester swallows me whole.

Thanks to GreatLight432 and Renfro Calhoun for pre-reading my work. Their hard work makes this piece a million times better.

Anyways, please remember to email me at red_aurum@yahoo.com for any suggestions, critiques, reviews and the like. Please don't flame me, I have a fragile ego.