Dancing In The Dark

Chapter 2

And what once seemed black and white turns to so many shades of grey
We lose ourselves in work to do, work to do and bills to pay.

Shinji didn't take his eyes off Hiroki's retreating back or the doorway as the door closed behind him. "Um, Yutaka... can you hold the fort? I need a break. I'll only be a few minutes." Crap excuse, but hey. It's Yutaka. What are the odds that he'll question anything I say?

As he had predicted, the trusting Yutaka didn't even blink. "What do you want me to do?" was his only reply.

"Just..." Shinji looked around. "No, don't do anything." The whole plan was safer that way. Not like Yutaka could do anything; he couldn't even type. But it was better to be safe, and this way, if Keita did anything... "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Okay."

"Have the gun, in case anyone comes." And he tossed it at Yutaka, who, naturally, missed it.

Shinji practically ran out of the room, and almost fell down the stairs. He thought he heard Yutaka say, "It must be tiring, thinking that hard all the time," and Keita grunt in reply. Bastard. He was starting to wish he'd just shot him where he stood, but seriously, disliking someone wasn't a good enough reason to kill them. Now it was just a case of waiting for him to step out of line. Suddenly -

"Hiroki!"

Yes, it was indeed Hiroki. And Shinji had just run straight into him. "I thought you were going," said Shinji, picking himself up off the floor, and none too happy at having fallen over in public. "You were eager enough to leave."

"I am," explained Hiroki.

Yeah, great explanation, thought Shinji dryly, but Hiroki wasn't finished. "You know I'm going to find Chigusa and Kotohiki, right?" At Shinji's slow, puzzled nod, he continued. "I presume you know why I'm looking for them, don't you?"

Shinji nodded again. Well, he didn't know for sure, but he could make a pretty good guess. Protecting the girls he loved... sounded like something Hiroki would do, all right. But where was this leading?

He was about to find out. With all the speed and grace developed through years of martial arts training, Hiroki lunged forward, seizing hold of Shinji's shoulders and slammed him against the wall. Shinji was too surprised to resist. But it dawned on him, and he was overcome by a desire to kick himself hard. He'd let his guard down, and he was wrong. Hiroki was playing the game. His eyes were dark and fierce, and he still pinned Shinji against the wall, as he said, in a low, quiet voice, "There's something I didn't tell you."

No shit, thought Shinji with a patience that belied the terror in his eyes. I worked that out already. I was wrong; you're going to kill me. And I left the fucking gun with Yutaka.

"I was looking for you as well."

Not the answer I was expecting, Shinji conceded mentally, but hey, who am I to argue? You're the one with the weapon, after all.

Well, Hiroki wasn't going to find Chigusa and Kotohiki because of the 'love' thing then. Or was he? As far as Shinji was aware, love didn't involve killing people, but being as uneducated as he apparently was, who knew? And more importantly, who cared??

But Hiroki just took his left hand from Shinji's shoulder, and rested it alongside his cheek, tilting his head upwards. Then he leaned gently in, and kissed him. It was a long kiss, as kisses go, not forceful (despite the situation), more an asking-permission kind of kiss. Before long, as the shock of being kissed by Hiroki wore off, Shinji found himself kissing back. Then, as the shock of kissing Hiroki wore off, he found himself enjoying it. He closed his eyes.

It was definitely different from the playful, careless, passionate and empty kisses he'd shared with girls. This kiss meant something. And he wasn't sure if he meant it back, but that didn't matter yet. All that mattered was him and Hiroki, and seeing the moment for what it was.

Hiroki stopped, and stepped back, releasing Shinji from his grip completely. He was flushed red, breathing hard, and all the passion and power had deserted him. He looked like a scared fifteen-year-old boy, and Shinji wondered how the hell he had thought Hiroki capable of killing anybody, black belt in kung fu notwithstanding.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry!" He sounded panicked, and Shinji realised he was panting too. "I didn't mean to-" He covered his face with his hands. "I can't believe I just did that. I'm so stupid..." He turned around awkwardly.

Shinji stood in a daze, and blinked himself out of his stupor as he realised Hiroki was getting ready to bolt. "What?" he asked quickly and urgently, anything to keep Hiroki here as long as possible. "You didn't mean to what?" He swallowed. "To kiss me?" Stupid (and downright scary) as it sounded, Shinji would have been quite hurt if Hiroki hadn't meant it. Completely ignoring the fact that since the first time a girl had showed interest in him, all he'd done was screw with their heads and use them.

Hiroki looked even more flustered than before. "No - yes - I did mean it." He stopped, tried to calm down, and looked him defeatedly in the eye. "I didn't mean to - to offend you or anything, but I think you should know." He looked as though he was blinking back tears. "I think I'm in love with you."

Shinji couldn't speak.

"I figured you deserved to know before... before..." Hiroki couldn't bring himself to say it. "...Before something happens," he finished lamely.

Well, it makes sense, thought Shinji, still feeling like he was floating outside of his body. All but one of us is going to die; what have you got to lose? At worst you'll feel bad for a few days before the end comes (how long do these sodding Programs last anyway?) and if the gamble pays off, you can spend some great last days. Win-win situation. God, that's twisted.

It might have been as a result of this thought, or maybe he realised what kind of opportunity Hiroki was actually offering him, or maybe it was a deeper reason that never crossed Shinji's mind at this point. But the reason didn't matter; what mattered was that he did it. "Hey, Hiroki," he said, feeling a flutter in his stomach. He wasn't sure whether this was the right thing to do, or even if such things as right and wrong existed anymore.

Hiroki looked at him piercingly. He looked defeated, but prepared to accept anything Shinji might say. Of course, he'd have to be, to take a huge gamble like this. He didn't speak, or try to defend himself.

"Come here."

In the next instalment: We know what Hiroki wants. Now what the hell is Shinji doing? Find out in chapter 3 of Dancing in the Dark...R and R, as always.