Each Other

- Flashback-

Disclaimer: Same as chap 1

Status: Beta-ed. Once again, thanks to LadyGeuna! ^^

---

We broke up.

God I can't believe I'm the one who broke it off.

'Kakashi, we should just be friends.'

It torn me apart just to think about it. For months I've been doubting if what I decided would make things better. Would make us better. Would make me better.

I don't like to be played with. Not that Kakashi ever did... He's a good man. He was always good to me.

It's just... I never was good enough for him.

Perhaps that was the reason I couldn't stand myself.

Pessimistic Iruka. Great.

---

'Kakashi, anno, are you free to go to the park tomorrow?'

'Sure. What's there?'

'Nothing. I thought it'll be a good day tomorrow to have a picnic.'

'A picnic?'

'Yeah. We havent' had a chance to go for a while since you, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura went on that mission. So... can you make it tomorrow?'

'Yeah, Naruto and co. sure will love that.'

'…I mean, just the two of us. You and me.'

'..........I don't know if I can make it, Iruka. You know I'd love to. It's just...'

'Not yet, right?'

'Yeah, not yet.'

Not yet. What was I thinking back then…? I must be sad.

Very, very sad.

'Kakashi, we've been together for almost 2 years. Are you that ashamed with me?'

I know I hadn't meant those words. But after so long, I'm not sure I can bear it anymore.

'Kakashi, do you love me?'

'Iruka…'

'Kakashi, do you love me?'

'Iruka, you know I do. Please…'

'You know I do'. That wasn't very good answer. I need those words, Kakashi. Why can't you understand… I need some proof. I need… to feel secured... through words I think only you can give me. I need someone I can hold in public. I need someone I can share my burdens with. Right now, you can't. You never could.

'Kakashi, do you love me?'

'Why are you so persistent, Iruka'

He sounds annoyed now. I'm sorry, Kakashi, but I need to know.

'Kakashi-'

'IRUKA! STOP!'

I flinched. I think he saw that, too. I think he did, before what's left in front of me is just smoke in the wake of the anger that had once been there. Like usual.

Kakashi is like a shadow.

And that shadow has haunted my mind for months already.

I used to be satisfied with our relationship. I thought it was enough. If you ask me to wait, I will. I'll give you more time.

But lately, I can't. I just can't anymore.

Time runs, Kakashi. And so does my patience.

Kakashi is like a shadow.

A shadow I can't reach.

---

I sat reminiscing the past. The two years of our time. I didn't realize it had been so long, it feels just like yesterday. Even now I can still feel the bitterness.

I remember it... I remember it exactly. You came to me the next day and apologized.

I didn't know why but I forgave him. So we went back to where we were before. Acting like nothing happened. Like I hadn't said anything, and we hadn't fought. And I think I was happy.

But then again...

'Not yet' haunted me like always.

---

He was there, standing in my apartment. In the kitchen, exactly.

'What took you so long?'

I was just arriving from Konohamaru's home, giving him an extra lesson, like Naruto used to have. I smiled. He was waiting for me. Kakashi was waiting, like always, opening the fridge to look at what I would cook later.

I felt great. And I don't know why, but I asked, 'Kakashi, will you be able to come to-'

'I can't.'

I hadn't finished it what I really meant to say... but I know what he meant, what he thought I was going to say.

'-Sakura's birthday tomorrow….'

He stood still, silent. He must had made a mistake. And I know what it was.

'…You thought…I was going to say… And you said…'

'I-I'm sorry, Iruka. I didn't know.'

I forced a smile to creep on my face, and I bet it failed horribly because he stared at me in such a way... 'So…So will you able to make it?'

'I-uh... Yeah, sure, why not?'

I was… struck inside. I didn't know then and I don't know now the words to use to describe the feeling... But I was… it felt like… something just HIT me and then I realized something.

'It was in vain, wasn't it?'

'What was in vain?'

'You. Me. Us.'

'What-what do you mean, Iruka?'

'Our relationship.'

'No it was not in vain. Why are you acting like this?'

'No. I just had enough!'

'Iruka? I…I don't understand…'

'YOU DON'T?'

I surprised him. I'm sure I did.

'Iruka, what's wrong with you?'

'No, Kakashi, what's wrong with YOU?'

He looked at me strangely, in a way that still makes me hate that look.

'Kakashi, do you love me?'

'Iruka…'

'Just ANSWER THE QUESTION! I asked it a year ago if you've forgotten! All of our time, all of our love' I wanted to scream, 'If you have any to give' I took a deep breath and said it slowly, word by word, 'do you love me, Kakashi, even just a bit?'

Before he had time to say anything, I cut him off, 'Kakashi, do you love spending time with me?'

'What are you talking about? Of course I do.'

'Can we spend our time then, Kakashi, at the Ichiraku Ramen, tonight.'

Even though I knew the answer, I still put my hope that someday, that answer will change.

But what can I say, I_ love_ asking it.

I paused. Giving him time to speak. To say... To say anything. To make an excuse, to threaten me, to shout, anything. Even your 'Not Yet' phrase again.

But he didn't.

And at that moment, I knew our time had come to an end.

'Kakashi, look at me.' I said softly, I put my hand on his cheek, turning it up so I can see him.

'Kakashi, I'm sorry.'

He tried to smile. I can see the corner of his lips quirking, as though in relief.

'Kakashi,' when I could see his eyes, the only words I could think to say were, 'get out, please.'

Suddenly, my heart seemed to have gone blank and I can't feel my love for him anymore.

I take my hand away and went to the door, opening it, giving him a quick exit. His eyes followed me the whole time. But at that moment, when I feel like the world had come to an end, I don't really care.

When he was outside, I still can see in his eyes. He wanted me to change my mind, I can see it.

Change my mind? Are you crazy?

I've been dying to change yours.

Besides that, I think he must be thinking to apologize tomorrow with a dozen of roses. Like always.

How sweet.

But I'll have you know, Kakashi, that I hate roses.

I never liked them, it's the truth. I hate their color. Red. Like blood.

Oh silly me, of course he doesn't know. I never told him. Because he likes it. And he never asks anyway. So what else is new?

Nothing.

I smiled. My eyes looking at his softly, and I kiss him. Quick, but I think that's enough.

'Goodnight.'

He seemed to say something. What?

I love you? The words I've been dying to hear? Iruka I'm sorry? Asking my forgiveness again? Or perhaps... false hope you always put in me. All of these years. 'Not Yet'? Or maybe 'Someday, Iruka, Be Patient'?

Nah.

I'm sick of it.

So... I think… No, it was the last time I spoke to him. It was the last time I put my trust in him. And from the way I started it, I ended it.

'Kakashi, we should just be friends.'

I closed my wooden door. I was still holding the knob, wondering if he would break in and protest about it.

And again, he didn't.

And I was expecting myself to cry. To mourn in sorrow for my stupid mistake.

But hey, my brain is screaming that I had done something brilliant.

I had just gained my life back again.

I was happy. So obviously, when someone's happy, they laugh.

I hadn't laughed that much before.

Even not when I was with him.

---

TBC….

A/N: I Am So Evil.

But well, you can't blame Iruka. He's right. If I was in his position, and the guy I dated never even once told me that he loves me, or never wanted to go public.

I'd break up before 3 years. That's wasting time. It's hard to swallow, it's harsh, but it's true. You wouldn't want to be…well… lingering.

Yeah, yeah, I made Kakashi to be such a bastard. I made Iruka OOC too!!! I hope you don't mind, I made Iruka's character like mine. I'll wait. But when they go too far, goodbye. Fair enough, ne?

And please pardon the grammar, okay? I don't have any beta. -_- oooooooo…. (um, if you noticed, I repost the second chapter. I read it again and found some mistakes... hey, not all, but it's better now. And 'we better be friend' was a wrong sentence and does sounds weird. So thank you to SauSweet.)

So, still continue??