Hai, sorry for the long update. Ya know, I have lots of school work and one big project to be collected in about a week. But that's all just an excuse. Because I'm sooooooo lazy…

So here it is! Chapter 4, enjoy!

Disclaimer: same as the chapter before.

Pairing: KakaIru OCIru

Status: Not beta-ed YET. I think she's busy right now, give her some time, K? And I know my grammar is bad, so bear with it please.

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He's about 6 foot and 3 inches and has short dark hair. He was a spy for Mercy's sake and I can tell straight away that he's been tailing me home. You know, today, the sun's shining bright, despite the fact that it's already the evening and it has been a very nice day! And it would be if it's not because of the psyco man I met earlier this morning, the so named Taka Kyoji. Playing hide and seek in adult form wasn't very interesting to play. I've been hiding from him since the incident I shall not remember.

I think he's crazy.  Yes, I really think he's crazy.

I turned around, facing the man who pretends to be invisible.

"You can come out, you know. I know you've been following me since the school."

After a few seconds, I think, the man comes out, grinning sheepishly, "heheh.. Guess you figured it out, ne?"

The hell yes! What kind of ninja you think I am? It doesn't mean that you didn't pass the Jounin exam means you're an idiot!

"What do you want?"

"Well, you promised me a date."

"WHAT?" I snapped, "I sincerely didn't."

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

I sighed, this man's harder than rock, and no pun intended, "If you mean about the meeting after the school, it doesn't count as a date, all right?"

"…"

There's something bothering me. He became silent. I mean, about the meeting after school, though I flee right away after the last bell rang, doesn't mean a date.

"Yeah, that one. Sorry… Guess you don't remember, huh?"

"Remember…what?" I ask, suspiciously, what's the thing I need to remember?

"Nah…" waving his hand in sign that everything's fine.

"No. Seriously, remember what?" What? I've known him before??

He sighed, almost desperately. "It's nothing really. I was wrong. Sorry."

The next second, he's smiling again, "Good day, Iruka! See you tomorrow."

And then he left. Almost sad I think. I began to feel a bit guilty, about him, like I had done something that is not right. But I pushed the thoughts away and continue to go home. Thinking of something positive along the way.

Yeah, today, things are going on well. I ate my lunch with no thoughts whatsoever, I teach the class well, I did all my work just fine. Except the so named Taka Kyoji,  everything's great! No feeling depressed, no burden, no regrets about the I-know-who and his ego. No silent thinking that I used to do, wondering about his safety, what's he doing, is he eating or not.

I'm free now.

I am an absolutely free individual. And I guess it's really the time to move on. You know, start fresh. Forget everything, forget the past, forget all about him. Forget all about Kakashi.

I took a deep breath and step on forward. From this step onwards, it will be a new beginning of everything!

"Iruka."

A voice in the dark caught my attention.

Waw, talk about taking a new step.

And about forgetting something.

----

I look at the figure before me. I haven't seen him in weeks. I haven't even heard anything about him. And now, he's standing in front of me, which I just realized now.

"Kakashi." The name is now like a bitter taste in my mouth. I look at him, for the last time I swore to forget him, for just a second ago I think about having a new life. Why, WHY is he showing up now? NOW of all time! Now after days of suffering. Oh God, why now…

"What do you want." I didn't ask him exactly, I know my voice is flat. And it doesn't sounds like a question either.

He's standing over there. Five feet from me, but yet, seems so far away.

I want to say to him to stay away from my life, stay away from me, stay away and never turn back. But then, I see that he's nervous.

Oh, Kakashi is nervous…that's new.

"What do you want?" I ask him again. My feelings aren't stable yet. I don't want to see him the way I am right now.

"Hello, Iruka," He greets me. The hell, I don't need any greetings.

I look at him sternly.

He moved forward to me, I took a couple steps back. No, I can't let him touch me.

Basically, I'm vulnerable at this moment. So one touch and I might not be able to get over it forever.

He looks hurt, knowing that I didn't want him to touch me.

"Why, Iruka?" his voice almost like a pleading.

"Why what?" I'm dazed, it's not like the Kakashi I know. He's not like the Kakashi I know.

"Why did you leave me?"

Oh.

That question.

"I think you already know the answer." I answered simply. "Just say that we're not meant to be together. It's as simple as that, face it." I refused to call out his name. His name affects my emotions.

His hand moved, I winced back.

"Iruka…" he calls my name, and I ignored it.

"Kak—" I almost voiced his name. "Move." I said.

I want to go home.

"Iruka, this isn't like you. I know you love me." He blurts out suddenly, "You still love me. What is wrong with you? I'm sorry, okay… I was wrong, I admitted it. I guess you were right, I was being a bastard, but I still love you."

I gaped, not that I showed it much, I'm just surprised. It's like the first time I heard him talking like that. You know, using his feeling and not his ego.

I stayed silent, but then I start to talk, "Kakashi…we can't--" Yes, I said his name at last. I can't speak with him without saying his name.

"What do you mean we can't?" he snapped, and I feel like my mouth's been shut up by some great force that I known as fury. Kakashi is angry. "You weren't like this. What changed you? Was it the guy you just talked to?"

"Have you been spying on me?"

"I wasn't spying on you! I was on my way to talk to you that I heard you were promising someone else a date!"

"I wasn't promising him a date! —I didn't, we—" We just met. That's what I want to say. Before he cut me off again.

"So now you and him is a 'we' now, huh?"

"No! Kakashi, listen to me, let me speak first," His voice is getting louder, I'm surprised if anyone in this block hasn't hear him. Does he want to get busted? On having a relationship with me?

"No. Iruka, you listen to me! Do you really want to break up with me and having a 'we' relationship with him! The last time I checked you were so loving and patience and understanding. What changed you…"

"YOU changed me."

If he wants to talk about it, so let's talk. I don't care anymore. If don't face it now, I will never be able to face it in the future. It's just a matter of time anyway.

"Iruka, please, you know I didn't mean—"

"When was the last time you check?" I cut him. It's my turn to snap. "When was the last time *I* understand you? When was the last time you check?"

"You-"

"I—what? When was the last time we go out together? We rarely go out together…if you notice. And I do mean 'rare' when I said rare. I can't even remember seeing you except my place. I can barely remember together with you in public— I *can't* understand you again, Kakashi. Too much you left me out and ignored me. I don't know you anymore, Kakashi…So please…"  

Please what… what do I want from him? I can't think. My throat is sore. I want to scream.

"Please let me forget you."

I said it before I know I did. I realised that it sounded a bit like begging. But if that's what I need to do to forget him, then I'll do it.

And now, when he's standing without saying nothing, I thought he would go away. Or at least I hope he would go away. Grant my wish, or something like that. Give up on me.

But no.

"I thought love is understanding."

My eyes went wide. Not because of what he said, but because of what he think.

He thought love is understanding.

When did he understand me?

"Did you really mean what you said?"

I am furious. The words hit me like rocks from some mountains straight on to my head. He TOLD me that love is understanding. I'm getting confused here. Who is exactly the victim here? Me. So shouldn't I say that and not him?

"Shouldn't I say that?" I pushed him, "Should I understand you, Kakashi?" I pushed him again. If he doesn't like it, then he could leave and I will be so damn pleased. If he wants to hit me, then go ahead.

He stays silent because I know that he knew he said the wrong thing.

"Well Kakashi, I did once understand you. And that was WHY I stayed with YOU for THREE years! Three years, Kakashi, three! Wasn't that enough?!" I shout. Yeah, I shout. And I don't care if The Mist Village could hear me. I.Don't.Care.

Still said nothing, he drops his head, avoiding me. The hell I will let him do that.

I grasp his hand and hold his jaw, pulling it up so his eyes would match mine.

"Look at me, Kakashi. Look!"

I grab his ninja head-band off his face. I want him to hear this with his ears and I want him to see me with two eyes. I don't need one that won't see me.

"Look at me." It was not like a request, it was more like an order.

"With your Sharingan, Kakashi, can you tell me what I'm going to say?" I mock him. I never mock anyone before, it was me who gets mocked by everyone. But in life, there's always exception.

"Can you tell me when did you *ever* understand me? Can you tell me, Kakashi? Or should I tell you?" I waited for a second, and still no answer. At least he's looking at me now.

"You never did."

Letting go of his hand, and his jaw, I turned my head. Resuming all the courage I need to finish this, I let out the last piece of my mind.

"I used to understand you. And I stopped, when I understand that you're scared."

I was thinking that he'd hit me for sure. But I wait and no actions taken. I don't even feel a thing touching me. And then the breeze put me back to my conscious. I took my eyes off the road and looked up to find him standing in front of me. Looking guilty or very guilty, or looking angry or very angry, I don't know. I expect him to there. But when I did, it's then I realized that he's already gone.

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A/N: Enough of that. That was angst. And I made Kakashi a bastard.

The next morning...

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Today, just say, isn't the happiest day in the history. At least it isn't for Iruka Umino. Half-lid eyes, not sleeping for the whole night. And there he is, marking papers from the kids' exam. Life just couldn't get better than this. It's pathetic.

He felt a hand on his shoulder; he really, really hoped that it wasn't the 'Taka-guy' again. He doubt Taka heard him last night. He was already far from him before the You-Shall-Not-Say-His-Name man showed up and once again ruined his confident on having a happy life.

He took a glance. Asuma. Thank God.

"Hey, Iruka, what's up?"

Iruka let out a weak smile, "Not much," he sighs, "been busy lately."

The bigger man took a seat next to him. "Yeah, I saw you volunteered to do the missionary trip. What're you planning?"

"What'd you mean?"

"You know, getting busy and stuff…" He stopped for a while. "Uh, um…"

This is so weird. In fact, everybody *is* weird today. People are all looking at him, whispering something and stop when they caught me looking at them, and then smiling at me.

"You know," He sounds reluctant but, "Last night was something, eh?"

How did--

I think it's because he saw the look on my face that he practically starting to apologize.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up… but I was pretty much shocked that you had, well, somekind of a 'thing' with Kakashi. Thought you weren't swinging that way…. You know…"  He scratched his head, "Okay, I know you're really not in the mood to talk about it…." The hell I am, "Just wanna tell you that if you wanna talk about it, or anything, you could always talk to me, okay?" He pats my shoulders. "Sorry if I offended you or anything." He added.

I really am grateful that he concerns about me. "Thanks." I smiled, "How did you know?" I whispered, afraid that if anyone had heard him, or me, or whatever we were talking about.

He gave me a strange look, "Are you kidding, I think the whole Konoha heard you two last night."

Thunder. What a nightmare. That explains the looks given by the people, smiles from other teachers and giggles from the girls.

"Nah," he said, "it's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" I almost shout. "I think I can die right now." I cover my face. Dig me a hole.

"C'mon, Iruka….You think he knows about that?" he started again.

"Who knows about what?" I mumble, still covering my face. I peek a little, there are few people looking at me, and some girls at the door way pointing at me, whispering something, giggling, and left. Does everybody know?

"You know who I'm talking about. Taka."

I uncover my face, turning my head, confused. "What about him?"

He gave me a 'are you kidding me' look.

"What about him? Are you crazy? I definitely think he heard you two last night."

"Yeah, well, like you said, everybody heard it. So what about him?" Yeah right, Asuma's house is a block away from where we were fighting last night. If he can hear it, then of course Taka can, clearer even.   

He gaped. What? Did I say something wrong?

"You can't tell me you forget about it!"

"Forget about……what…." It wasn't a question, but I don't need to know his reaction if I tell him I don't remember a thing about him. That's what he told me too yesterday, that I forgot.

"Taka!" he almost yelled, "I can't believe you! He used to hitting on you like crazy!"

It took me seconds before registering what my friend here had said.

"Oh."

"Is that all you can say? 'Oh'?"

Recalling the memory, I think I remember who he is now. "You mean the goofy looking guy? The one that was in the same group with Ka—" I stopped.

Asuma stare at me, I feel giddy. "Don't push it," he said, "It's all right you know. Don't think about it anymore."

"….Thanks."

"Nah, anytime!" enlighten the situation, he light up a cigarettes.

I took it from him, "No smoking here!" I said, half serious half joking.

Asuma rolled his eyes, "fine, fine, sensei." He mocked me.

He shove it back to his pocket, I chuckled a little.

"So," he started again, "you remember now?"

"I guess, I dunno," I shrugged, "I didn't even know his name back then. How was I supposed to know that it's him?"

"Man, you really are oblivious. I bet you were too head over heels to him… I think I can figure it out why he had given up back then,"

"What? Why?" Although I didn't remember, being curious, I want to know why.

"He must have thought that you weren't gay."

I hit him on the head.

"Hey!"

"Lame," I said.

"But it's true. He must have thought of you that way. And now that he knows you just broke up from your boyfriend, then you're definitely gay!" Asuma is just defending himself, but I supposed he's right too.

"No way! I'm not going with anybody that quick!"

"Just warning you, my friend, he might chase you up again." He's joking, but Iruka could already feel nausea in his stomach. That explains all the things he was doing.

"Too late." I said, "He already is."

The bigger man grinned, "Woohoo," he pushed my back, "Way to go, Iruka!"

"It's nothing to be proud of." Shoving the hand, I want to ask him a question. "Hey, Asuma?"

"Huh?"

"You don't mind I'm gay?"

That time, he laughed and tackled me, "Kurenai already guessing that you're gay. She was certain. But I wasn't so sure, at least until last night." He grinned at me.

Feeling my face is burned, he let go of me. "Iruka, you just need some time. Think about Taka, he's a good man. He's a bit pushy but he's okay, okay?"

"Uh…umm…" I didn't answer, but I also didn't say no, maybe he's right. Time to know people, you know.

"Hey, Asuma?"

He raised his head, looking at me once again, "Was it that loud?"

He laughed harder now, "Why did you think that nobody was telling you to stop talking? Or throw you things because you're too loud? Everybody was listening!"

Kill me.

A/N: Was it a good chapter or no? Na? Na? Tell me!

And I'm not VERY good at describing a person. It means I'm BAD at describing! Like perhaps, Taka. You know, just imagine him like Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing but have a kinder face and Duo's goofy grin. Fantastic, e? ^_~

Peace and no flame