10 Things I Love About You
"You drunk mate?" Remus cocked an eyebrow at James, who had just stumbled into the Dormitory they shared with Bryant, Sirius, and Peter.
"I love women."
"Yup he's drunk." Bryant clapped his friend on the back and sat down by the foot of Remus' bed.
"No, I'm not drunk you git. I was ... talking to Lily." Remus, Sirius, and Bryant exchanged a knowing look.
"Strange how snogging, er I mean talking, can make your lips so puffy and red, isn't it?" James rolled his eyes at Sirius and sat down next to Bryant on Remus' bed.
"Fine, so maybe I was snogging her. But that's not the point I'm trying to make."
"He has a point he says." James swatted at Remus, who was a second too fast for the dazed James.
"I'm talking about how they're like ... I dunno, perfect I guess." James shrugged and shook his head; unable to find the words for the point he was trying to get across.
"I know what you mean. For instance, have you ever known a girl, a real girl mind you not some guy trapped in a girl's body you know what I mean, that smelled bad?" Sirius and Bryant nodded thoughtfully and James smiled.
"Yeah, that's sort of what I mean. Like Lily ... she always smells like vanilla. But it's not like an overpowering smell like perfume, just really subtle and you can only smell it when you get really close." James sighed dreamily and everyone laughed.
"Nah, vanilla's overrated. Mae always has this elusive, pumpkin-y smell. It's like you know when you go and pick pumpkins for Halloween and stuff, and you come home and you smell like the pumpkins but in a good way? Yeah, that's what she smells like." Bryant smiled and ran a hand through his hair.
"But then there's that like softer smell of ivory soap ... I don't understand how they make it all meld together, but it sure smells bloody good!" Remus smiled and leaned back against the headboard of his bed.
"Ha, and then look at us. Five minutes playing Quidditch and you all smell like ... ugh, I don't know but it's disgusting." Sirius wrinkled up his nose and shook his head.
"Well you don't exactly smell like a peach either, Padfoot." Everyone laughed as Remus imitated Sirius' expression.
"Yeah, but then Toni plays for like hours and she still smells like raspberries." Sirius chuckled to himself.
"And then there's how they're so small ... like their small, soft hands compared to our huge, rough ones." James rubbed his hands together subconsciously.
"Yeah, I don't understand how Toni keeps her hands so soft! I mean she plays Quidditch no more or less than any of us, but her hands are like perfect!" Sirius said, with an almost jealous twinge in his voice.
"But then they don't mind our huge hands ... like my hands are all callused from the whole being a werewolf thing, but Gina doesn't seem to care. She said she thinks they're rustic." Remus shook his head in confusion.
"Mae's hands are ... like all silky and everything. It's kind of weird, but then again its so brilliant at the same time."
"And have you noticed their hair?! Bloody hell!" Remus ran his hands through his own hair unhappily.
"I know! It's so soft and long ... and when it's curly it like bounces. That's adorable." Everyone nodded in agreement with Sirius' statement.
"I don't get how they keep it like that. I mean no matter what I do my hair stands up and is dry and not at all soft like Lily's." James ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up even more, and sighed exasperatedly.
"I don't think its fair that they get to wear skirts! I mean they get all these choices ... skirts or pants. And all we get are pants." Everyone laughed but nodded at Remus' observation. "Seriously though."
"Well as brilliant as that would be, don't start wearing skirts on us there Moony." Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius doubled over in laughter at his own joke.
"And then what's up with those sodding heels? I mean come on! Its just not natural to be able to walk to far off the ground!" Bryant shook his head, confused.
"I know! They walk in them like nothing's different but those things are bloody insane!" James furrowed his brow subconsciously as he tried to figure out how it was possible to walk in 5-inch heels like nothing had ever changed.
"Speaking from personal experience there James?" James rolled his eyes at Sirius.
"No you git, but can you imagine trying to walk in 5-inch heels? Sodding hell, Lily's got some 7-inch ones!" Everyone's eyes widened as they continued to contemplate the mystery that was walking in heels.
"But then you've never seen one fall have you?" The four friends shook their heads in a definite 'no' to Remus' question.
"Not to mention the fact that they actually know what in the bloody hell is going on!"
"That's not girls, Sirius, that's everyone except you." Sirius smacked Bryant on the arm.
"No you prat! I'm talking about how they can totally read us. Its like they know every emotion and thought we're going to have even before we have them!"
"He's got a point, they read us all like books. Have you noticed how well Lily can tell what James is thinking about, just by his facial expression?" James rolled his eyes at Remus.
"Have you noticed how well Gina can read Remus?" Sirius said, imitating Remus' voice.
"Sodding hell, they all read us! I mean Mae reads me better than I read myself, and it goes for Lily and James, Gina and Remus, and Toni and Sirius. They know our emotions better than we do!" Bryant shook his head at the mind-boggling mystery that is the female psyche.
"I'm just jealous because they know what's going on. I mean, half the time you can't tell if a girl likes you or what because the supposed hints are too bloody subtle for a blood hound to pick up. They, on the other hand, always know when a guy likes them or doesn't like them. It's just not fair! I think we got the short end of the stick on that one."
"Although Sirius is perhaps a bit more confused than the rest of us, I would have to agree with him there." Remus chewed his lip thoughtfully.
"And what's up with them never being nervous around us? First time I met Lily, I thought I was going to cause sporadic explosions I was so nervous. But she just seemed completely calm and normal ... it's a bit unnerving if you think about it." James raked his hands through his hair, making it stand up even more than it already was.
"They're always composed ... I don't get that. Even when the world's falling apart and they're in tears, they seem composed somehow." Bryant shook his head frustrated.
"Alright, mates, enough of this mind-boggling frustration. I don't think we're ever going to understand them, nor were we ever meant to understand them. So let's go do something we do understand. Let's go play some Quidditch!" Everyone laughed and nodded; leaving the discussion of the mystery that is woman for another day.
A/N: Okay, this may have been bad, but I got bit for it and then it was poking me in the brain saying "write me! write me!" So anywho, here it is! Please review, it will have a companion piece, in which the tables are turned and it's the girls talking ... eventually, if you all like this one! So let me know! muah to all my fabulous reviewers!