-and rain
Chapter Six: Hearts At Ease
A/N: I can't thank you all enough for all your great reviews! If you have any suggestions let me know!! I need to know! Lol! I decided to make Matt nice in this story. I know I said earlier that he wouldn't be, but I changed my mind. I might decide to go back to evil Matt later though, we'll see. Izzy is 16 by the way! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or Gathering Blue
"What's wrong Tai? You're quieter than usual today," a short, spiky haired boy asked with concern.
"Oh, its nothing Koushiro, So, how have you been? Sorry I wasn't able to stop by sooner, I have been incredibly busy lately." Tai sighed heavily.
"Apology accepted, you're job is more important than anything else right now," Koushiro reminded him.
"I know, I know!" Tai said exasperatedly, ruffling his brown hair. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his sore temples.
"Seriously Tai, what's wrong?" Koushiro asked sternly.
"It's nothing! My head hurts okay?"
Koushiro shook his head softly. "I'm brewing tea, do you want some?"
"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry for bursting out like that."
"It's okay. I wish I could say I understand, but I don't," he said as he poured hot water into two small teacups.
"To be honest, I really don't know what's wrong either. I don't want to bore you with another one of my stupid problems anyway," Tai said glumly.
"You're problems aren't stupid or boring. I'm your friend Tai, I can help you." Koushiro handed Tai his tea and sat down across from him. His burrow was fairly bigger than the others. Koushiro's family was very respected throughout the village. His grandfather was a Keeper long ago.
"I don't know, lately I haven't been feeling like myself. Not that I've ever felt like myself, but it isn't the usual subtle feeling. It all started when Sora moved in-"
"Sora?" Koushiro interrupted, "Is she the new Threader?"
Tai nodded, taking a deep sip from his tea. "It's been a while since anyone new had moved in to the Manor. So when she came I noticed this bright glow she had. She was new, and innocent, and had an obvious love for life," he took another sip of tea and continued.
"I've watched her work outside in her garden. I've watched her plant flowers, and color threads. She looked so happy, and peaceful. Then she would come in, smiling, her hands and clothes stained. She always smiles. Even when she had to stay in bed for three whole days because of her hurt ankle, she smiled. It's been what, two weeks now? And she still has yet to frown. She does what she is told to without any signs of hesitation or remorse," Tai sighed. "I love being around her."
Koushiro gave an obvious smirk. Tai noticed this and added quickly, "Not just because she's pretty-"
Koushiro cleared his throat rather loudly.
"Beautiful," Tai corrected himself.
Koushiro rolled his eyes.
"Okay, fine! She's gorgeous! But that's not the point! Well, maybe its part of the point-"
"Do you even know what the point is Tai?"
"…No," Tai huffed. "Do you want to hear my problem or not?"
Koushiro laughed, "Go on."
"Well, whenever I'm around her, it's like nothing matters anymore. I feel carefree. I don't know why I feel like that, that's why I'm so confused."
"I think I know why," Koushiro said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Really?"
He nodded, "It's because she's still pure."
"What the hell does that mean? Tai asked impatiently.
"Think about it Tai. How long have you been at the Manor?"
"Thirteen years."
"Exactly. Thirteen out of your seventeen years of life have been spent carving wood. That is your talent, your gift. They took you in when you were only four. I don't know about you but I sure don't remember much from when I was four."
"What are you getting at Koushiro?"
"You have forgotten the happiness your gift used to bring you."
Tai raised an eyebrow.
"Take Sora for example. She loves dyeing threads and stitching fabric. She is at peace when she sews. The reason why you like being around her is because she is instilling that long forgotten happiness back into you. You've spent thirteen long years doing the same thing over and over again. And it's only natural to get bored of repeating the same routine year after year. Carving wood has become a habit now, not a desire. You've lost the desire to carve. You used to want to carve, you yearned to do it."
Tai was quiet, he was absorbing Koushiro's words. Flickers of his past flashed through his mind.
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"Look dad!" A very young Taichi exclaimed. He ran out to meet his father in the front of their burrow. He held up a beautifully carved wooden bird.
"That's incredible Tai!" His father carefully held up the bird at gazed at it with deep admiration. "Did you make this?"
Tai nodded proudly. His brown locks flopping to and fro.
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"That's ridiculous! What are you talking about Koushiro! You know I love to carve!" Tai said.
"Are you sure? Do you still get that spark of excitement every time a piece of wood is in your hands? Do you still feel that boundless, nothing-can-stop-me feeling whenever you etch your blade into the rich core of the wood?"
Tai stared at the stone floor of Koushiro's burrow. Is what he says true? Have I lost my love for carving? Tai shook his head abruptly and stood up. "Thanks for the tea Koushiro… I have to get back to the Manor."
"Anytime. Come back soon," Koushiro smiled.
Tai nodded and stepped outside into the approaching evening. The sun was slowly setting, casting off the last remains of its glorious light. The streets were almost empty, only a few people lingered here and there.
Tai walked aimlessly down a dimly lit street. He was deep in thought. He didn't want to believe a word Koushiro said to him, but a little voice trapped in the back of his mind argued with his thoughts.
Whatever Koushiro said back there is garbage. How can I hate carving, I've been doing it ever since I was little. Thirteen years! I've spent thirteen years carving! Oh my god! Thirteen years of life have been spent just… carving! Well, maybe I don't hate it, maybe I'm just bored.
Yeah, that's it. I'm bored, so I'll just ask Yamato for a little break. Then, my mind will be clear, and I can come and work. Who am I kidding? If the Warden found out I was on a break he would kill me! Plus, knowing me, which I really don't, I would never come back to carving!
What was it Koushiro said? Something about desire, and how I've lost it. How I used to want to carve. Ah! I'm so confused! Even more confused then when I started out! Tai kicked at the small pebbles along the walkway. He stared at the ground, he didn't care where he was going.
Suddenly, he bumped into a small crouched figure. "Hey, watch it!" A young boy cried out as he rubbed his head.
"Oh, I'm really sorry. I guess I didn't see you there," Tai said as he helped the familiar boy up. "T.K?"
"Hi Tai! What are you doing here?" T.K. asked.
"I was just visiting a friend. What about you? It's kind of late don't you think?"
"Nah," T.K. boasted, "Mom could care less, what with all my brothers and sisters running around."
"How many siblings do you have?"
"I gots three brothers and four sisters. I'm the oldest!"
"Wow, big family huh?"
T.K. nodded. "Heading back to the Manor? I'll go with you. D'you think Kiki's served dinner yet?"
Tai laughed, "You mean Mimi, and no, I don't think she has yet. But she will soon."
"That's good. So how has Sora been? I haven't seen her in a while."
"She's been doing pretty good I guess. She says she likes it there. How long have you known her?" Tai asked.
"Ever since I was a tyke. When I was maybe three or four, my mom kicked me out because I was messing with one of the newborns. I didn't like it much, and I still don't. She always gets what she wants. She's mom's favorite," T.K. said with disgust. "Anyway, I decided to go down by the creek and see if I could find any mudpuppies. That's where I first met Sora. She was reading one of her books in a small trench by the bend-"
Tai looked down at his young friend in surprise, "Wait, Sora can read?"
T.K. nodded, "grandfather taught her. She read me a story, and that's how we met. Before she moved to the Manor, she would always tell us kids stories. We miss her." T.K. said softly. "She would also sew little dolly clothes for the girlies."
Tai smiled. He had never had that experience. He was never able to mingle with the other children, or catch mudpuppies in the creek. His only childhood friend had been wood, and it now seemed to betray his comfort. Some friend! The two walked down the faintly lit path back to the Manor, T.K. eagerly leading the way.
"T.K!" Sora exclaimed as her lively friend ran into her room and hopped onto the bed. "And Tai!"
"Where's Mimi?" T.K. asked.
"She just left. Hungry?" Sora teased as she brought out two trays that were piled with food. T.K's eyes shone with delight. He grabbed a plate and stacked as much as he could.
"So, where have you been?" Sora asked Tai.
"I was just down in the village visiting an old friend of mine." He replied, pulling up two chairs.
"Thanks," she said as she sat down. She untied her apron and tossed it on the bed. She heard a small laugh.
"What's so funny?" Sora asked eyeing Tai.
"Nothing, its just your apron. This morning it was plain white and now there's hardly a speck of white on it!" Tai pointed out. It was true. Sora's apron had botches of color stained all over its exterior.
"Yeah, I guess so. But I like it better like this. It was too boring before," She smiled.
Tai felt himself break out into a smile as he shifted his gaze to the girl seated across from him. She looked so content, so serene. He felt his heart invigorate with a reviving warm, at ease feeling. All his worries just drifted out her open window. He continued to gaze at her when finally her eyes encountered his.
Sora stared back into his rich russet colored eyes. He had undergone such trauma and damage as a child, yet he was still so gentle, and kind. She wanted now more than ever to help him. She wanted him to break free from his barrier of grievances. She wanted him to be as happy as he made her. Every time she was around him, she couldn't help but marvel at his courage to go through this difficult life they both led. Her heart was numb from mourning over her lost mother and from suffering the brutal pain of her injured ankle. But now, for the first time in weeks, she felt her heart warm-up again, she felt at ease.
Ok, so do you kind of get where this is all going? Tai makes Sora happy, while Sora makes Tai happy…but in reality, they both aren't truly happy. Confusing, I know, it took me a while to figure out too. I really appreciate all the reviews guys, it makes writing fics sooo much easier! Thanks!
~Rainy