Disclaimer: Do not own them.

AN:  Okay this is a new one. I am trying my best to make everyone happy out there.  I working on my spelling and grammar…I wish I had a Beta reader…Looking for one anyway.  Thanks for pointing the fact that I do make spelling mistake…I 'll try to correct that.  Again Asking for Beta readers…I know that not being a native speaker of English is not that good of an excuse because I think I make the same mistakes when I write in French which I have been doing since I was like 4 ^_^…I love the reviews I got …I got reviews, I was so happy, that I wrote at work.  But than I had to spell check than type L…  C'est la bougre…Anway i hope you enjoy and you continue to review my febles attempt to capture the characters of BTVS and ATVS.

An2: Spoilers for Amends, Quotes from IWRY

Buffy has been in a coma for five days now and I have been unable to leave her side ever since.  Not that the idea has even cross my mind.  I am so afraid that she might wake up and not find someone near her.  I know about her dislike of hospitals, even more after her ordeal with her mother.

            " Angel do you want something to drink, honey? Ask Cordy heading for the door.  She has been with me since the first day too.  Rarely leaving my side if not to go get me food or clothes.  I can tell that she is tired.  I should tell her to go home but I know she won't leave me.  She will be supportive the whole way she told me since the first day.  I postponed our wedding.  Cordy was upset, but she said she understood. I know how much she was looking forward to this, but how could we celebrate our love when one our friends was in a coma.  I know I couldn't.  I told not yet anyway.

            I answer her with a nod of my head.  I have no strength to talk.  Cordy walks out and I look back at Buffy's sleeping form.  She looks so innocent.  The swells on her face have practically disappeared.  Now she looks more like the girl that flipped me in that alley about six years ago.  I feel a pang in my heart.  I should have been there to protect her I keep thinking.  I reach for her face. Her beautiful face.  And I am startled when I feel that her cheeks are wet.  Is she in pain? It brings me back to what the doctors had told me a few days ago.

            " Mr. Summers, your wife's wounds are healing properly.  She did not suffer any brain damage; so we can conclude that her coma is self induce. She could wake up tomorrow, in a month or she might not."

            When the Doctors had told me that she was keeping herself in there, I could not believe.  I still don't.  Why would Buffy do that? She is a fighter.  I have always admired that about her.  No matter what life threw at her she always kept on.  Buffy is strong. At least the one I knew was.  The one lying on that hospital bed is a stranger to me.

            What happened to her? I wish I had kept in touch with her.  I had wanted too. Especially after she had come back from the dead.  Than Connor came into my life, I started having feelings for Cordelia, than I lost my son.  I found him again, than I spent a summer in the bottom of the ocean and when I got back I had to find Cordelia. When we did we had to get her back to normal, to the one that she used to be anyway.  All these had push thoughts of her in the background. 

            I wasn't proud of that fact.  That I hadn't kept in contact.  I wondered if this would have happen if I had been there. I wish I had known.  I know I wasn't the only one who had thought it.  I had caught Dawn's accusatory glance.  At that moment I wished that the earth could have opened and swallowed me whole. I know it was not my fault but I did feel guilty.  I don't think that I should start putting blame on people for this otherwise I am not going to like the answer. B…

            "Here sweetie," says Cordy has she comes back in and hands me a steaming cup of tea.  I look at my wife to be and my heart swells with affection.  She is always taking care of me.  I know this situation might be a little uncomfortable for her.  Who am I kidding she must hate it, but she is here.  For me.  She is my pillar nowadays but I know her Achilles heal: her doubts about my feelings for Buffy.  Truth be told, I don't know how I feel about the slayer.  She had been a big part of my life, well unlife.   Buffy is the first woman that I loved. She was the reason I had joined this fight, she had given meaning to my life.  There use to be a time where all I wanted to be was with her, fight with her, fight for her, to keep her and the world that she loves safe.  With Buffy I had felt happiness also immense sorrow.  She had made me taste cookie dough fudge mint ice cream and peanut butter.  I had spent the day I was human with her, even if it is only in my memory.

 Buffy: This is a dream. You're human for, like, a minute and already there's cookie dough fudge mint chip in the fridge.
Angel: God, I love food.
Buffy: Food is good.
Angel: Why did you never tell me about chocolate and peanut butter?
Buffy: Well, I figured if your vamp taste buds couldn't really savor it, then it would only hurt you to know.
Buffy: By the way, I'm over the whole needing to be mature thing. That time you just spent in the kitchen? That was enough time apart.
Angel: Too much.
Angel: Agh, okay, mortal coordination leaving something to be desired.
Buffy: Wrong, it's just right…

            I close my eyes. I haven't thought about this in ages. I shake my head.  I have to clear my head.  That was the past.  Not even, it never happened.  Anyway I have Cordy now.  I turn and look at her.  She is seating in a chair about a few feet away from me.  She is flipping a Vogue magazine.  What I have with Cordy is very different than what I had with the Slayer.  Cordy makes me feel safe and human.  We are friends as well as lovers.  I am not saying that Buffy and I were not friends.  There are still parts of me that I've revealed to Buffy that I might never reveal to Cordy.  I know that Cordy did get to meet Angelus more than once, but Buffy had to fight him and had managed to defeat me.  I have to say that my demon is still in awe of the Slayer.  I was Buffy's confidant and protector.   Buffy was one of the first to treat me as a man and forgive the action of Angelus.  When I had wanted to end it all when the First evil had been hunting me, She had tried to talk me out of it.  She had told me that living was fighting, being strong was fighting and that I was worth saving.  Why can't you do the same? I know that your life is not what you want it to be. But you can't give up.  You have to be strong! You have to live!  We are here for you.  The people that love you are waiting for you.  WE miss you. We love you…I love you.

I hear something crash behind me and I know that my last statement was out loud and not in my mind.  Danm it.  I turn and look at Cordy.  She is frozen in place as if she has seen a ghost; I move away from the sleeping form of Buffy getting closer to my fiancée.  Her eyes are wide open.  I wonder what is going on behind her beautiful brown eyes. I know that her mind is processing what she just heard.  Is she reasoning with herself?  Am I a dead vampire? I think too much. I am already dead.  Maybe it will be better if I take her home.  Better if I get away from the blond angel that is making me think of things that aren't anymore.  I take my future in my arms and I hope that what I said doesn't damage what we have.

"Let's go home tonight, okay.  Willow will stay the night with her." She just nods. I wish she would say something.  Cordy just picks up her coat and walks in front of me.  As I am about to close the door, I take one last glance at the sleeping form. Tears are running on her cheeks again. 

TBC

AN: Cordy is next….