Disclaimer: Same old, same old: not mine
AN: Thanx for the nice review. I enjoy reading them. I am sorry I am such a slow poke when it comes to updating. I have most of the story written but as usual to lazy to type it than post it. So without further ado here it is:
LORNE
So Cordelia hadn't given Angel my message. I wonder why? It couldn't be jealousy something else must have come up. Did she forget? Cordelia would never endanger someone purposely, even if it were a woman that she was jealous of. I don't think that she loved the idea of Angel seeing the Slayer. I know that when it comes to Angel; Cordy's confidence in her-self is not that great.
I am looking at the teenagers seating in front of me. I hear them speculating about the possible loopholes in Angel soul. I hate my life. I wish I could be back to Vegas singing like crazy or even maybe in The Hyperion Ballroom. Anywhere but here, with those two kids that are getting way to close to the truth. What they told me earlier is adding to the puzzle in my head.
I am still recovering from what I read from the little slayer a few nights ago. I really need to think this through and who knows, even talk to someone about this. I propose to take them back to the hotel. Maybe there everything might make more sense.
" I need to get some rest," I tell them, "All that bad singing is taking a toll on me." I hear them chuckle. But I can tell from the way Connor is looking at me that he doesn't believe me. He is so much like his father. But I can't tell them what I saw in the slayer. I don't even want to think about it too much because it disturb me. I am not sure if the kids would want to know about sorrow, pain and loneliness.
* * *
I am glad to have Dawn and Connor out of my sight. They are good kids but they can't stop bickering, as if they were siblings. If only they knew, how related they are in some ways. But that is the story for another day. Finally some peace and quiet, hopefully, I will have time to start putting the pieces together.
Ok Lorne! What do you know? When Buffy had sung, I had been overtaken by feelings of sorrow, dread and pain. I also felt a yearning for another. I could almost hear her soul beaconing to another. It was as if she was incomplete and was looking for a second half. I had seen threw her eyes part of her relationship with Angel. Passionate and Soulful. I had seen a lot of darkness in her too, a lot of turmoil and self-hatred. I read about some unfulfilled dreams that had a lot to do with My Angel-cakes. I felt a self-loathing for what I had become, for things I should have done differently.
From what Dawn had told me Angel had felt something pulling on his soul that same night. If it was around the same time, it couldn't be mere coincidence. They might have a soul connection. But if that were true than that would make them soul mates. No, they couldn't be. Cordelia and Angel were together, they love each other, and if it weren't true the powers would have put an end to their love.
It's impossible for the Slayer and a Vampire to be soul mates it would be like a sick joke being played on the world. Mortal enemies in love with one another, Inconceivable! The Powers would never let that happen. True soul mates are so rare and are powerful when they fight together on the same side. If Soul mates exist than they were more chances for Cordy and Angel to be than the slayer. Right?
I don't even think I am making sense anymore. The Powers agreed for Angel and Cordy to be together because they were soul mates. That is why they agreed for his soul to be bound so it could be near it's other half. It would be permanent as long as he was with Cordelia and eventually he would get his Shanshu and for that he needed his soul mate. I never told neither one of them that the soul permanent thing only worked if they were together. I never had a reason too to tell them, Angel is in love with her and so devoted to Cordy. He would only attain perfect happiness with Cordelia right!
Now I am not so sure. I am not sure if the Powers did the right thing. I am not so sure if Cordy and Angel are meant to be or if I shoved them in a relationship. The signs were there. Fred and I noticed the Moira and Keyrumption between them. They glowed together. The slayer was barely mentioned and I noticed that Angel was healing with Cordy. They needed each other and she made him more human, they formed a little family with Connor. It wasn't the case with the slayer.
Actually I am not sure of how it was with the slayer. All I could see in her was pain and sorrow. Why would anyone yearn for more pain and sorrow? Why would she want to go back to that? She loves Angel for that I am sure. She would give her life, if that meant the souled vampire could be happy. I am not sure he would like to know that but she already did it once and I am sure that she would do it again. I don't know her very well but I think that someone with such battered spirit should be happy also. It's such a pity that her happiness seems to be tied to the souled vampire. She thinks of him as heaven. No wonder her men leave her, who could live up to such expectations. Maybe I should ask someone who knew Angel and Buffy together. I can only see what they let slip about each other and for what I might have to do it's not enough. I need to know how other people saw them. Most importantly I need to know if that girl always had such a burden to bear.
I could talk to the witch but I think she is with the Slayer at the hospital and if she is there the one name Xander will not be far behind. Dawn was too young to really know anything. Cordelia is too close and she might panic if she knew that I was prying into Angel and the slayer's relationship. What would I tell her? I think the Powers might have made a mistake; I think Angel and you should not be together because he is the Slayers soul mate. I don't have a death wish. The only person I can think …
"Hey Lorne What are you doing here this early? " says a voice behind me.
Wesley!
Wesley
Lorne is sitting in the atrium. He seems so lost in his thoughts. I look at the clock. It's about 9 at night. It's rare to see the demon at the hotel this early, actually lately he barely made it home at all. He was so busy doing reading for friends and preparing for the eventual wedding of Cordy and Angel. I wonder if her knows they postponed it for a later date that is still unknown to the couple.
I don't want to disturb him but I need some answers. I have so many questions running through my mind and I am drawing a blank. For almost five days, Willow and I have been researching Angel. I've spent countless hours on the phone with Giles and Anya. They are trying to find things out their own way in London. But with the council library destroyed last year there is not that many resources left.
It had been hard to tell Giles what happened to Buffy. He had wanted to forego his honeymoon and take the first plane to L.A. It had taken a lot of convincing to tell him that he was doing a better job helping us from London than here.
There were to many people mourning the slayer as it is. There was a lot of research to do and not enough people to do it. Buffy almost dying was one thing. But the chance of the scourge of Europe reemerging while the Slayer was in Cleveland and unreachable, no one wanted for that to happen. That thought had finally convinced me to disturb him
"Hey Lorne What are you doing here this early?" I say coming behind the Host. . The green demon was jolted out of his thought by the sound of my voice.
"Hey Wesley, you are just the man I want to see. " He answers me smiling. "You might help me figure some things out. "
Lorne needs my help to figure something out and I need his. Things are getting interesting.
"What a coincidence, I was looking for you for the same reason. I need your help figuring something out too." Saying that I take off my glasses and wipe the glasses with a handkerchief. I wonder why he needs me? Does he need me to sing or something?
"No singing required" Lorne tells me. I give him a puzzled look. Sometimes I wonder if he can read people even without the singing.
" You knew Angel and Buffy when they were together. I am sure you remember a little bit about their relationship" Started the demon.
"A little" I reply with some reserve. I wonder why he is asking. Eh never showed interest in Angel's past relationship with the Slayer. To think of it we never spoke the "B" word. "Why are you asking?"
" The night Buffy was almost killed… well she sang and I read her soul. Sunshine had so much pain in her heart I thought I was going to choke in my own tears. I felt as if she was breaking apart. Most importantly was that I felt her soul hum. It was calling out to another.
"Hum? You say." I said puzzled. I had never heard of Humming souls before.
"Yes Hum. There is this legend that says that Soul mates Hum to one another in time of need. They feel each other from a distance. They share pain, sorrow, pleasure and happiness through the humming." Lorne explained to me. So Buffy's soul was calling out to another.
"Dawn told me that night that Angel felt as if he was loosing his soul." He added more for himself than for me.
" Would such a hum create the sensation of soul being pulled?" I asked already knowing the answer. If Buffy were calling out to someone in a moment of pain I would bet my life that person would be Angel. Wait a minute? Didn't Lorne just say that only Soul mates could do that? A vampire and a Slayer. No it can't be right. Angel and Cordelia are together. Buffy and Angel are ancient history anyway. It's true that they always had a strong connection but…
" Angel and Cordy are soul mated though, they have Keyrumption. They are two warriors who've met and have recognized their mutual fate. " I notice that Lorne is talking and that I have lost most of what he had said before that. To tell the truth I never understood the whole Moira and Keyrumption thing between Angel and Cordy. Fred told us she saw it and we believed her. Why not? I mean Angel deserved to be happy and we all had seen that Cordy and him were getting closer and at the time we all thought that Buffy was dead. It was normal for him to move on. I had never thought of those two together but who had seen it coming? Well Lorne had and so did Fred.
There was no doubt in my mind after seeing Angel and Cordy together for the past few months that those two love each other but I can't help the nagging feeling inside. That feeling that became stronger when I saw Angel's haggard face at the hospital. He was distraught at the thought that she might never wake up. That was not the look you had if a friend you hadn't talk to in months were in a coma. Or was it?
"What can you tell me about Buffy and Angel?" Now it's my turn to blink. I don't think I am the best person to talk about those two. I had wanted their relationship to end when I had found out about it. I had supported the Council's decision to let him die when he had been shot by Faith with a poison arrow. I remember telling Buffy that Angel was not her priority, preventing or stopping the Ascension was. I wasn't a nice person than. I wasn't really proud of the person I was.
"Wesley?" The urgency in his tone snapped me out of my reverie.
" Lorne, I am not the best authority on those two." I said to him trying to apologize already for the lack of knowledge I might give him. " Angel was sent to the Hellmouth to serve as a guide and helper to The Slayer. When the powers sent him they hadn't counted on the possibility that they might fall in love. OR that consummating their love might unleash Angelus. " I felt myself blush a little at those words. I continued: " Angelus taunted the slayer for a while and finally decided to end the world by opening Acathla. Buffy had to kill him to close the portal. It was hard on her because she had to kill Angel and not Angelus at the time because his soul had been restored by Willow."
Lorne nodded at me prompting me to continue the story.
" According to Giles' watcher diary he came back a few months later. The details on his return are hazy. Buffy didn't really talk about it and at the time no one was ready to forgive Angel for Angelus' actions. Buffy nursed him back to health but Giles said that they had wanted to remain just friends. Their feelings for each other though were to strong to just be friends so they resumed their relationship. When I became Buffy's watcher they were dating. I had the chance to see them fight together. They fought in perfect synchronicity. They could tell each other's move. Giles once told me that they trained together but what made them so great was that Buffy opened up to Angel. He was her pillar. She told him a lot about her insecurities about slaying and her life that she did not share even with her watcher. "
At those words I took out my glasses again. I had been talking for a while. Lorne now seem to be lost in thought.
" Is that all?" Lorne ask me. I couldn't help feeling like he is waiting to hear something specific from me. I wish I knew what it was than I would just tell him instead of having to take a trip down memory lane for him.
" Angel and Buffy used to share dreams. When Angel was haunted by the first they shared dreams the First were sending to hurt him."
"Was that before or after Angel drank from the Slayer?" I look at him startled. I hadn't told him about that yet. He must have read it of Angel or even Buffy.
"He hadn't drunk from her yet." I reply wondering what was the connection.
" If he had drank from her already I would have said it was because of her blood in him but he hadn't. "
" Angel got shot by a poison arrow by Faith during the Ascension and the council had refuse to help her find a cure so she quit the Council and saved him by letting Angel Drink her when she couldn't get him Faith."
"She was ready to kill for him. And when she couldn't she was ready to give her life for him." Lorne said to himself.
"Lorne of you already know all this why are you making me tell it to you?" I said to him exasperated. That horned demon was really getting on my nerves now.
He probably knew more about those two than any of us put together.
"Actually I am trying to unmuddle my thoughts an piece up a few pieces. While you are talking to me I am putting points together that I couldn't do without you telling the story. Plus I get to see how other people who were there saw them. You see, when I read Angel for the first time, Buffy was on the forefront of his mind. As time went by, she was put further and further away in his heart till I couldn't feel her in him. That is when I encouraged him to go for Cordelia."
"We all did, we all wanted Angel's happiness and at the time Cordy was the person that got through to him."
We all did. Yes some more than others. I hadn't even seen the love between them develop. I guess I was way to busy mooning over Fred. After that I had found out the prophecy about Angel killing Connor. I hade been cast off from the team and when I had gotten back I had other things to worry about instead of Angel and Cordy falling for one another. By the time I found out about Angel's feeling for Cordy the only thing I could do was support it and be prepared for the eventuality of Angelus resurfacing. But the powers had bound Angel's soul so he could be with her. Why hadn't hey done the same earlier?
"Angel and Cordy deserves happiness" I whispered to myself. " But do they have to be together to be happy?" I hear Lorne let out a gasp. He walks away from me lost in thought. He looks preoccupied by something. " Or do they?"
"The Powers…" He starts a guilty look on his face.
"What about the Powers? " I asked intrigued by his attitude.
" They yielded to them because they wanted to make sure that Angel fought on their side. A seer and a champion together, inseparable, they were good together, no they were strong. And they were already falling for one another, all they needed was a little push in the right direction."
" Do you mean to tell me that they are using Angel's feeling for Cordelia to keep him on this side? That doesn't make sense. If that was the reason why not tie him to the Slayer." I half screamed. That couldn't be true what he was saying. Could the Powers use Cordelia as a pawn in their plot? What about her feelings? What about Angel feelings?
"You said it yourself. Angel and Buffy were never meant to fall in love. She was meant to bring him to the good side. But his fight and hers would be done in different playing fields. Cordy and Angel have the same fight, the same purpose…they love each other. Angel's love for Buffy would bring the Slayer to darkness. They would risk a chance to loosing a slayer to the dark side. Didn't she defy the council in the name of her love for him? It was too much of a risk to let them love each other. "
" Lorne I am sure you don't believe what you are saying? I am not saying that Angel and the slayer should be together but I can't believe that the Powers would meddle in affairs of lower beings." I pace around the atrium, looking at Lorne suspiciously. How much did he know? If the Powers could do this what else could they do? Could they have prevented Angelus from rising last time?
"It doesn't matter anyway." Says Lorne letting his shoulders droop as he sat down by the fountain. " Angel has to be with Cordelia. His soul is bound as long as he is with her. You see the curse is not gone. They couldn't take it away. They only altered it. The curse was given out of vengeance, which is not an element the good side uses. He has to be with her till he Shanshues other wise it doesn't happen." I looked at the Host in disbelief. Angel's soul is not bound as we all thought it was. The Powers had just altered it.
" Buffy can make him loose his soul than." It's not a question. " Do they know I ask?" looking up into the hotel, my gaze resting in the direction of the room of the couple.
" I haven't told them. I never thought it mattered. They are so happy together" he is trying to justify keeping that from them.
" He still loves her." I answer him, not even bothering looking at him. " If she dies than Angel will Shanshu and live happily ever after with Cordy isn't it?" I know the words I am saying are harsh. Lorne is a kind-hearted person. He would never wish ill on anyone. But I also know that he wants his Angel Cakes to be happy with Cordy. Buffy is in the way. But if she dies or never wakes up she won't be.
"I would never…" Lorne Starts outraged but the mere thought of it. I turn around and face him.
" Trust me Lorne, whatever you decide, I hope you tell them. I hope you let them know the truth, because if they found out from someone else there will be hell to pay and trust me Cordy and Angel might never be able to forgive you this one. I have been there and I wouldn't wish it on anyone." At those words I walk out. The decision is all his. I wish I could tell him not to tell them. There are too many people at stake. I know that they will make the right decision. I have to go pick up my tux from the dry cleaners.
TBC
AN: I was waiting for the beta read version of this before posting it, but I think that my beta is busy with school so I thought why not post it this way. If I get flame for my grammar and spelling I can deal. But don't expect anything soon. I am in final season and I have to many papers to write to be side tracked by fan fiction…. ^______^
AN2…The next chapter is about Buffy gaining a little Faith But will it be enough to wake her up? An will Lorne spill the beans about the powers not being fair players????? …. Hope everyone enjoys this and please review….
AN#: there might be a lot of typos …I am writing this with one hand …I sprain my left so I am not going to write for a few days