AN: Hi everyone it has been a while since I updated anything. I spent a lot of time working on a project that did not pan out. The End of days Series but at least I still have my website. So if any of you have Buffy or Angel stories centered on the End of Days topic feel free to visit my site and submit your stories. Hopefully no one hates me. I am going to try to update at least once every week one of my stories. So please be patient with me and I will eventually finish this story. I am sure you want to get on with the story. So there it is:
Buffy:
I don't know how long I have been laying here. I saw the sun be replaced by the moon. The cloak of the night has wrapped itself around me and I am still on the sand. I can hear the sound of the waves. It should be soothing but it's not working for me right now. I just decided to give up on Angel. I thought I had a long time ago. I thought I had moved on…I really did. But I had not. Otherwise I would have never put myself in the position I was in the bad over the fact that he and Cordy were to get married. Or is it that I am jealous that they get to be together, have a family while I get stuck being a savior with nothing to show for it. Am I that selfish? Yes, I am. Somewhere, deep in my heart I always imagined a white picket fence house and a dark haired child with chocolate brown eyes running to me an calling me mommy. I don't think it's ever going to happen now. Nope, Cordy will have that. Cordy will have Angel. I feel another tear run down my cheek. When did I start pitying myself so much? When did I start thinking that I am better off without anyone? When I notice I was alone. I am always alone. Everyone leaves me.
" Not everyone leaves B. Sometimes you push them away." Said a voice behind me. Faith …Here…Impossible. I sat up and looked. The brunette slayer was standing a few fell away from me. The wind blowing her hair and her sunflower dress, she took a few steps closer to me and dropped to the ground next to me.
" I got to say B, you do dream up beautiful places." She said taking a pile of sand in her hand. " Are you going to say anything or are you just going to stare at me mouth open. Come on B, where the witty repartee you are so good at."
"What are you doing here?" I asked. What I really wanted to know was how she got here. I thought this was my mind.
"Well I am here because you want me here" she replied. She looked around for a little while, than added, " I am also here because I am worried about you."
Worried? Why would she be worried? I am dying, the love of my life is getting married and I just gave him my blessing. There is no reason to be worried. I am not.
"You didn't give Angel your blessing B. You are not dying either you are giving up. And there is a difference there"
"Look if you came here to tell me how to run my life, you are too little to late. Last time I checked you bailed on me. You got yourself killed," I said getting up. I was mad. How dare she come here and tell me what I was doing. She had no right to invade my privacy. " You died, you gave up. Why can't I? I yelled walking away from her.
" B!" She screamed getting up after me. I didn't want to listen to her. She more than anyone should understand that I was tired, that I needed to give up. She had.
" You can't give up. Not on life and not on Angel. Listen maybe things seems like they want work out but they will in the end. Your time will come but it is not today." Hearing her say those words say those words infuriated me more. I had to wait, to be happy. I had to watch everyone else find happiness and me just linger in the hope that one day will be my turn.
"And who get to decide when my turn will be?" I scream turning to face her.
"Buffy…the Powers that be sent me here…It's not your time to go yet…" I watched her come close to me. We are standing so close to each other. I can see that she is crying under the moonlight.
"When will it be my time" I whisper closing my eyes. I feel the caress of a warm hand on my cheek. Faith is wiping my tears.
"I don't know sister. But I know this, you are needed, your sister needs you, your friends and the world. So do Angel and Cordelia. Buffy there is a big fight coming and we will need you to stand as a general for our side."
"What happens if I can't, What if I don't want to this anymore. What if I am tired of being a slayer?"
I feel arms go around me. I missed Faith. " I miss you," I whisper returning her embrace. I hear a small chuckle escape her lips. " You'll be five by five B. You have always been strong, so don't quit on me now."
"I just don't feel strong…I feel like everyone is deserting me and I am all alone, you left me" I mumble.
"Do you think I wanted that Venetia demon to kill me? Buffy I had finally gotten the family I wanted. Living with you and Dawn for those three months was the best. I felt like we were sisters. But my time I had come. And as you can see I haven't left you. I am here, aren't I?
"It's not the same"
"Anyway, there is another reason why you need to go back. Other than the fight."
"Angel is getting married to Cordy…"
"I never saw that coming, but they do make a great couple" I let her go as I hear her say those words." Buffy, I am kidding"
"Do you think it's selfish of me that I can't accept that he might be happy with someone else other than me? Do you think that it is selfish that I hold on to dreams that we might end up together someday?" I ask her
"No…I think it is why you still are living. You have that hope. Angel is and will always be your soul mate but you're a champion. And that comes first."
"So that's it, I am a champion so I don't get to be with him." I can't believe this crap that Faith is telling me. I have to go back to save the world from yet another apocalypse and get my heart shattered when my love marries someone else.
"Buffy for god sake grow up. You are not sixteen anymore. And it's not like you haven't had other people. Need I remind you of Riley, Spike and Daniel?"
"I never married any of them!"
"Because you thought yourself to good for them, or because they never measured up to your ideal, even worse because you pushed them away. B, you were given a chance to be happy with others."
"They were not Angel," I yelled falling to the floor. A few seconds later I felt her sit next to me.
"Listen B. This is bigger than you, bigger than us. If you love him as much as you say you do, you will go back"
"Why should I?" I know I am acting like a little child, a very spoiled child.
"Because if you don't go back, Angel will die"
"No!" I said. "He can't die"
"B you are the reason he joined the fight in the first place. Do you think that if you give up and die he will continue the fight?"
"He did last time I died, he did it to honor my memory" I replied thinking of the last time I died. I also remembered when we met after I came back. He had been so happy to see me. We had kissed and for a brief moment I hadn't minded being back but when he moved away from me I started thinking that everything was too harsh. I wanted to be back in heaven. I pushed him away. I told him that I needed space but most of all I needed him to go away. I was mad because he had made me want to live for one tiny second and at the time that was too much for me to take. I wish I had not been such a pompous ass.
"That is part of your charm" Said Faith.
"Stop reading my mind"
"If you talked about it instead of ranting in your head I would not have to do that" She gave me a smile. I can't believe that she is smiling at a moment like this. I don't want Angel to die, but at the same time I don't want to go back.
"So, are you ready to go back?
"Not really…But I can't let him die."
"That's my girl…"She said putting an arm around my shoulders.
"So you are going to tell me what's coming"
"You'll see B, I don't want to spoil the surprise"
"I hate surprises," I said as everything around me went dark. "FAITH" I called out. "Faith, What is going on?" I asked looking into the darkness.
"FAIITTHHH!!!!" I screamed sitting up.
"Buffy" I hear an answer. I open my eyes. I don't even remember my when I closed my eyes. The surroundings are different. I am no longer at the beach. Everything around me is white.
"Oh my god Buffy, you are awake…" I hear next to me. I turn my head and find myself staring in Willow's teary eyes. She is joined by Dawn. I hear Xander say: " I am going to get the Doctor"
I am awake.
TBC