Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy don't belong to me…As much as I want too…they don't. Don't think otherwise or I'll sue.
AN: Hi everyone, I am back with a new chapter. My computer is back at home and it's working. So hopefully I will be updating and people won't hate me for the disappearing act I pulled in 2003. Well I am back and hopefully I will finish everything I started. Criticism is more than welcome. Reviewing helps me know that there is an audience reading and also lets me know what I need to fix so please be kind and Review…
Angel ….
When you kiss me I feel like I could die…..
I love you…I want to be with you…
I killed my goldfish …Don't you think you are jumping the gun.
It's not enough time. I'll never forget …I'll never forget…
In time we can …forget
I have a boyfriend now…Someone I can trust….
How does forever sound to you…
"What the…" I say sitting on the bed. I moved so fast I almost threw Cordelia off the bed. That would not have sat well with her. The poor woman was exhausted and I didn't want to wake her up for the world. I love watching her sleep. She looks so innocent, so mature. Less likely to say something that you don't want to hear no matter how true it is. She has always known how to make me face things that I did not want to. She is my shoulder, my right arm. She is someone, I can trust. I love her. Than why was I thinking of the Slayer? Why was I thinking of the times she hurt me, or made me happy? Why is she hunting my dreams?
I know that I am worried about her. When the doctor said she might not wake up I felt a pang in my heart. I have never wanted anything bad to happen to her. Actually when it came to her I tended to be a little bit over protective of her. Can you blame me, Buffy was my first love. She was the light in the world of darkness that I lived in. I get out of bed and start getting dress. It doesn't feel right to think about Buffy as my fiancée is lying in bed next to me.
Afraid of waking Cordy, I tiptoe to the next room and closed the door gently behind me. I wonder how Buffy is doing. I check the clock. It will be light in an hour or two. I could swing by and see how she spent the night. I hear Cordy mumble something and change my mind. I won't do this to her. She might tell me everything is fine but I know that she is not to thrill with the amount of time I am spending with the slayer. She has told me too many times, that when it came to Buffy I lost all common sense. I don't want to hurt Cordy, I'll call them instead. Than I thought of the conversation that Cordelia and I had when I had taken her to bed earlier that night. She had been hurt, she was putting on a brave face for me but I could tell that she really didn't like being second fiddle to Buffy. So I had ended up promising her that I would wait and not call. We knew Buffy was alive now and just in a coma. It wasn't like she was dead. I don't think I could have taken it if she had died again. The last time, I had barely come to terms with it. "This time you have Cordelia" A voice replied in my head. Deep inside I knew that it would have been hard for me to accept. I knew by my actions when I had seen her lying on that stage at Caritas in pool of her own blood. I had felt a pain that I had shaken me to the core. The last time I had felt like this was when I had lost Connor.
"Let's not think about this" I think going down to the lobby of the hotel. The place looks deserted. Wesley and Fred must still be asleep and it's too early to see Gunn or Lorne. I head to my office for some private time. As if I need any more time with my thoughts. Maybe I can research Soul pulling spells. The least I could do is help with the research the Willow and Wesley had been working n yesterday. There is a note from Connor pinned to the door of my office. I pick it up as I walk in.
Hi Dad,
Went to see Buffy with Dawn. Be back in the morning.
C.
Is it me or has Connor been spending a lot of time with Dawnie? I shake my head. Of course they would, they are about the same age. It would make sense. It could never be that my son would be attracted to her, would it? I'd rather not go there yet .I can't help the small pang in my heart. I have been neglecting Connor a little with the whole wedding planning thing. And now with Buffy in the hospital I barely have seen or spoken to him.
I sit at my desk and stare at all the books piled everywhere in the office. They did make a mess of this office didn't day. I stare at the open page of the volume right in front of me trying to make out the words to no avail. All I can think about is Buffy right now. I have so many unanswered questions. What was she doing in L.A.? Why did she fight the demon when she wasn't at her best? The Buffy, I knew would never have done something so reckless… I take it back, she might have. But Buffy drinking, that was new to me. We were such strangers now that we barely knew what was going in her life. She never returned my calls and she turned down every invite that Cordelia and I had sent to her. What happen to us? I wonder. One day I was in love with Cordelia and Buffy was sleeping with Spike. Just that thought of those two together made me cringe. I don't think I will ever forget the gloat in my grand childe' s voice when he told me that he had had the slayer in ways that I could never have known her. I had been tempted to stake him right there on the spot for daring touching my mate. I didn't do it. I knew that loosing Spike would hurt Buffy more than satisfy my need to erase him from the face of this planet. I had roughed him up a little bit and sent him back to her. I waited for her to come here yelling and screaming on his behalf but she never came. It was like I had stopped existing to her. Than about a year ago, Willow told me that Spike had left and Buffy was happy dating a normal guy that she worked with. Around that same time Cordy and I decided that with my soul bound nothing was really stopping us from being together so we moved in my room together, and if it hadn't been for Buffy's accident we would be getting married today.
I should try to read this through, maybe another book. At least that will take my mind off the slayer. I pick up the first book I find and open it. I gasp. Two pictures are staring back at me. One is of Buffy and me at her prom. The other is of Cordelia, Xander, Oz, Willow and Buffy in their graduation gowns. The first picture was a gift from Buffy right before I decided to leave. She had said so I didn't forget what she looked like. The other belonged to Cordy. It was one of the pictures the gang and I had showed her hoping to help her get her memory back...
Maybe reading was not such a good idea. I open my drawer and start looking in it for something. "Maybe some organizing my not be a bad idea" I think looking at the piled up files and papers in there. I have no idea what I am looking for but I have to find it. I take out the drawer and empty it on the floor. "Where is it? Where is what?" I wander, than I see it. Its silver reflecting the light of my office, my claddagh ring is staring back at me from under my desk. Why was I looking for it? Something really weird is happening to me. Why do I want so much to walk down memory lane? I have moved on. She has moved on, I think. I am startled when I hear the phone ring. I pick it up, afraid that it might wake up Cordelia
"Hello"
"Angel, Buffy is up!" Screams Willow on the other side of the phone.
"How is she feeling?" I ask. Oh my god she is up. She woke up. I can't help the joy I feel to know that she is going to be okay. I want to see her. I barely hear what Willow is saying to me, until I hear her say:
"What do you mean she is gone?"
"Willow, what is going on?" I say panicking. What happened?
"Dawn told me that she is gone. She is not in her room. She must have left the hospital."
"I am heading out to find her. Send Connor and Dawn back here just in case she comes here" I said. I hung up the phone without waiting for an answer. I had to go find her. I would not fail her this time…
TBC
AN: Okay I know I am going to get flamed f or this chapter…but hopefully I'll get a review to let me know that I am either in the right track or need a different take on this story.