AN: Hi everyone one thank you for the Review though I would appreciate in the future criticism more than bashing of the characters. I believe that everyone I entitled to their opinion of Buffy, but she is one of my favorite characters so please if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. In the defense of my characters – People today have many sexual partners before they get married, it's shown by a lot of characters on TV, if having multiple partners for a woman makes a whore, what about men? I don't mean to lecture anyone. Again I apologize for this lengthy note. I would appreciate not getting reviews of that genre in the future.
Angel and Buffy Stood in front of each other both ready to strike. The slayer and the vampire just stared still in time. An unbearable tension filled the air as the two once lovers stood there. It felt like everyone around them wasn't even there. "How did we get to this?" thought Buffy standing her ground.
"Buffy" cried out Dawn behind her as she threw herself at her sister. "You are here!" The blonde took one more look at Angel, who had suddenly lost his menacing look and was turning to help Cordelia, before relaxing and turning her attention to her little sister.
"What is going on?" She asked coldly. Buffy wasn't happy. She didn't know why her sister had been fighting with the brunette, but she couldn't stand see someone hit her sister, regardless oh who was at fault.
"She knew you had been here, she should have told Angel that you had been here…Maybe you would not have almost died" Dawn started to say. Angel gave Cordy a hurt look when he heard Dawn say that. Cordelia just moved away from him and stared at something on the floor. That is not the way she would have wanted for Angel to find out.
"Angel is not my keeper; I don't know the big deal is. So Cordelia didn't tell him. Is that why you were fighting?" Buffy asked looking at her sister in disbelief. She turned and looked at Cordelia standing isolated from everyone now.
"Give me a break" Buffy let out. "I am a grown up; I have every right to do what I want. I don't need any of you feeling the need to protect me or keep tabs on me."
"Buffy…"Willow started but Buffy cut her off.
"No…I understand that you all were worried about me. But I am the slayer and it's my job to protect you guys. I am flattered with all the concern and everything but I draw the line when my behavior is blamed on someone else. So Cordy knew I was in town and didn't say anything. I got into a fight with a demon. No one forced me too. So if you want to find blame here on why I was in that hospital, look no further than in me. Now I don't care which one of you started the catfight but the two of you are going to kiss and make up or else."
The whole group just stared at the petite blonde standing in the middle of the lobby too stunned to say anything. Dawn whispered an apology half heartedly to Cordelia. The other girl acknowledged it but her eyes were directed on Angel. He wasn't saying anything. He was just looking at Buffy. Cordelia could not tell what he was thinking and that made her uneasy.
"Hey did I miss something! Buffy you are here!" exclaimed Connor coming in the hotel. His eyes went to the disheveled Dawn to Cordelia who was in the same state. It seemed he had missed something big.
"Where were you?" Angel asked harshly. Connor looked at him. He hadn't done anything, why was his father talking to him that way.
"I was looking for her" he replied pointing to Buffy. At the moment the slayer was pressing gentle fingers on her temple. She looked really pale in her dark clothes. Connor saw her sway just a little bit and than she was falling to them floor. He cried out her name and started towards her. Angel got there just in time to catch her before her head hit the floor. Without a word to anyone, Angel lifted her and started up the stairs. Cordelia made a move as to say something but the vampire just looked at her and she stayed were she was.
"Well that went well" Wesley said taking his glass off and wiping them. Both he and Fred went to Cordy who had started to sob. They dragged her to Angel's office and closed the door. Willow went to Dawn who was sitting in the sofa in the middle of the lobby. They just sat there in silence. Connor was still staring at the stairs where his father had disappeared a few seconds ago.
Buffy
My head is pounding. I feel like someone was hammering on it with sadistic pleasure. Oh what I would give for some Tylenol or maybe a stronger painkiller I thought as I opened my eyes. I try to sit up but a gentle hand pushes me back down.
"You shouldn't sit down so fast. It will make you dizzy." I know that voice.
"Angel?" I ask. I know it's him. I am at his hotel. I don't feel comfortable lying down and talking to him. I feel at a disadvantage so ignoring his protest I sit down.
"What am I doing here?" I ask
"You passed out in the lobby so I brought you to my room" He answers sitting next to me on the bed. I can't help from moving away from him. I can't tell if he noticed or not his face is like a mask.
"Why did you leave the hospital Buffy, you are still not okay."
"I hate hospitals" I replied. I want to get out of here. I am not ready to talk to him. There are a lot of things I would like to say to him but right now I would give anything to be anywhere but here.
"Buffy" I look at him.
Angel
I am looking at her. Part of me is happy that she is okay but another part can't help wanting to bash her head for being so stubborn. She had irritated me with that speech of hers of not needing protection because she was the slayer. But I had to give it to her, she had been able to look over the fact that Cordy had known she had been here.
"Don't be mad at Cordelia" She said taking me out of my thoughts. How did she know that it was what I was thinking about?
"Buffy, I am not mad at Cordy. Just disappointed that she could not come to me and tell me that she knew you had been here."
"Maybe she was afraid that you might get upset with her over it" She replied. I look at her as she mover a little further away from me. Is it that uncomfortable for her to be sitting next to me?
"I think …I want to wish you a good life with Cordelia. Xander and Willow told me that you guys were great together. Congratulations!" I hear her say. I must be dreaming. Did Buffy just congratulate me on being with Cordelia?
"Buffy…" Why do I keep repeating her name like a parrot? I can't help think that something really weird is going on.
"What were you doing up here? Why didn't you call us for back up?" I ask. From the way Buffy starts fidgeting I am guessing that is not a topic she wants to talk about. I usually would have let it go but I feel like it's important to me. Who knows it might even explain what happened to me that night.
"I…"She started…
Buffy
"I…"I started but nothing else would come out. What was I supposed to say? "I came to pull a Rachel, I came to tell you that I loved you and that you deserved to be with me" like I would ever say that. I looked at him. I have to say something. Something believable, anything short to telling him the truth.
"I …I wanted to tell you guys that you were the light at the end of the tunnel for me."
Angel just gave me a puzzled look. I thank god that Xander can't hear this. I think I had said the same thing to him before his non-wedding to Anya.
"You see, I am proud that you and Cordy are getting married, because it means that even though we are warriors, there is still a place for love in our lives. It means that if you guys can make it work than maybe there is hope for me someday."
Angel just shook is head in assent. I wasn't sure if he believed me though.
"That was close" I thought. He got up and started pacing in the room. He was trying to take in what I had just told him. Or maybe he was just trying to find a new way to make me dizzy again as I felt a slight pounding in my brain that match every single step he made.
"What were you doing in the bar than?" He asked stopping in front of me.
"Well I needed a drink…Is that a crime?" I asked a little too defensive. I placed my hand on my temples trying to exorcise the pain.
Angel
I watched her put her hands on her temple. She might still have a headache. I go to the bathroom and come back with a bottle of Advil and a glass of water and hand it to her. She took it from me. As I sit next to her I can't help wander if she thinks am dumb or even senile. I can tell she is lying through her teeth. Maybe I should tell her that I know that she is lying. I am almost certain that she didn't come here to say congratulations. There was something else. If she didn't want to tell me, I would ask Lorne. He had heard her sing. He would tell me what had really happened. I didn't want to have to ask the demon, I wanted Buffy to tell me the truth.
"Buffy, tell me the truth. I have known you for far too long. I can tell that you are lying."
"I don't think you want to hear the truth." She replied to me. How bad could it possibly be?
"I came here to tell you …to tell you that …to tell you…"
Buffy
I can't do this. I can't tell him. I can't do this to him; I can't do this to Cordelia regardless of how I feel about her. Most importantly I don't want to do this to myself. In my dream world he had gone to Cordelia. He had not stayed with me by the beach. He had chosen to be with her instead of me. So what difference would it make for me to tell him that I had hoped that one day faith would have brought us back together? It would only make me look ridiculous.
"I can't do this Angel. Look I came here to wish you good luck okay. This is why I am here now any way. Whatever I was doing here when I got into that accident is my business and mine alone."
"You were in my town Buffy; I have a right to know"
"No you don't!" I yell. "You don't have that right Angel. You lost that right a long time ago. We are no longer part of each others lives remember?"
"And who decided that? Whose idea was this?" He screamed back at me standing in my face.
"It was the best that we could do at the time" I reply. Yes it had been my idea but at the time I think that it was what I needed.
"I always kept in touch with you. I called and ask to talk to you but you were always to busy or unavailable. You didn't want me in your life" said Angel.
"Angel …It's not that I didn't want you in my life. It's just I didn't want you taking over. I didn't want you feeling guilty for the mess that is...was my life and try your best to fix it. You know that is what you would have done. You would have taken upon yourself to fix my life and I can't let you do that."
"Buffy that is not true…"He replied backing away from me a little.
"You always do this…You always try to take everyone's burden. You are always trying to do what's best for me. Even if it means breaking your heart." I say sadly. "I remember that you exchanged your humanity to assure that I would live. You gave up being a human for me."
"How do you? How long?" He asked sitting on a chair. He looked as if he was about to faint.
"I died Angel. You tend to remember a lot of things when you are dying. I have known since I got back. I had wanted to tell you that I had known when we saw each other at that motel but I was mad at you. I was mad that you had chosen to take this memory away from me. I was mad that I was back. I was mad that seeing you made me want to stay here when all I wanted to do was be dead."
"I wish you had told me this" He whispered looking at the floor.
"Angel it doesn't matter anyway. It's the past. A lot of things have happened since."
I say sitting back on the bed. My head is hurting again those pills were not doing their work. I overexerted myself talking so much.
"Are you okay?" Angel asked coming next to me. I feel his hand my shoulder. Please don't touch me, I think. It's not in the past, the need to be dead. I know it. I didn't want to wake up from the coma. If it hadn't been for Faith I probably would have still been on that beach wallowed in self pity.
"I didn't want to be back" I let out. I didn't mean to say that. I move away from Angel's reach.
"I know" he replies and I give him a startle look. How did he know?
"The doctors said that coma was self-induce. You were keeping yourself there as if there was something you did not want to face." I didn't want to face you and Cordelia getting married. I don't think that I could take it. I still don't think I can.
"But I am back"
"Why did you not want to come back?"
TBC