Pairing: None
Status: Short Vignette
Summary: Buffy's thoughts in The Gift
It all seemed so clear as she stood on the edge of the steel platform that was perched on top. She could easily see the portal opening below her. It was hard to miss the bright light glowing and crackling noise in the middle of the night, supsended in mid-air. It all seemed so surreal, a portal being opened simply from the blood of her sister. It shouldn't be surreal; she'd lived in Sunnydale practically her whole life.
As she looked again and another crackle was heard her life began to flash through her mind, stopping only at some major events that had brought her to this place in time.
When she had been called on the steps outside Hemory. Believing that she already a purpose, one that didn't involve that mysterious stranger who spoke of vampires and demons and the chosen one. Her life was planned; it involved shopping, cheer practice and of course cute boys. But she had followed the stranger, she had slain her first vampire and she had wept for her lost of innocence as parents yelled at each other for her lack of responsibility in the other room.
She remembered when she first met the tall dark handsome man named Angel in a dimly light back alley. He eventually became her everything and ironically the only thing she could never have. She loved him so much yet the powers that be seemed to enjoy teasing her far too much to let her be happy. They had allowed him to become soul-ly again, but only after Angelus had opened Acathla. Acathla, the stone that was a portal that would suck the world into hell if the ritual wasn't reversed. They gave her one option, to kill her first love and send him to hell in order to save humanity. To save a race that at times let the most vicious creatures... humans roam the earth. When Angel had come back she believed that finally they would be together. That they'd get it right, but again the powers that be wouldn't allow her peace. She was left alone again. Even with her friends in her life she always stood separate from them.
She longed for their normal lives, desired for it. Maybe that was why she had been with Riley. She believed that she would finally reach that normalcy that she had longed for. But, it again was an illusion. Subconsciously she had to have known, she was just too stubborn to admit defeat. Always the slayer.
As she thought about what being the slayer meant Whistler's word began to haunt her. He had told her that she would be alone. Maybe that was the point. Her destiny was loneliness. Everyone that matter had been stripped away. Leaving her naked and bare. Her mom had been a constant. She acted the same, motherly, and that eased her. Knowing that no matter what demons and beasts she had to face her mother would always be a mother. She was never the chosen one around her she was her daughter. A girl growing into a woman, one that she'd never get the chance to watch fully grow up. She was stolen by something... something so mortal.
All the events in her life brought her to this moment. A moment to finally give her all. To understand that the Guide was right, that death was her gift. Finally she'd have solace after so many years of fighting. She'd exit and the heartache and pain she felt bearing down on her would stop. She'd be complete.