Author's Note: Well it's been a long time since I wrote another Gatchaman story and this one was a victim of writer's block for nearly a year until I dragged out my DVDs to make tapes for my friend Freddo and his lovely wife Gail so I'm dedicating this to him. It's about Joe's thoughts as he ponders about his role on the team with his intensifying health problems (I can relate). And as per usual, I don't own the characters or storyline of Gatchaman, it is owned by Tatsunoko and was created by the late Tatsuo Yoshida.

REFLECTIONS ON A HILL

Solitude. Solitude is what he sought, what he needed, and what he had as Joe Asakura sat on the poppy-covered hill overlooking the Utoland city limits. The hill was a bluff really with a dirt road that led up to it, barely known. The road less traveled Joe mused to himself sardonically, as he stared blankly at the city before him, the place he had called home since he was orphaned and brought here by Hakase Nambu at the age of eight.

Joe had discovered the road and the hill one day during one of his many rides about. Driving was therapy for him, for the wheel of his car was like an extension of his psyche, providing both the power he craved and the control he yearned for. For Joe had lately often felt that his life was a paradox, fighting Galactor as the Condor of Kagaku Ninjatai, yet having found out that the parents whose lives he was driven to avenge were former operatives of that same cursed organization. The day he had discovered the hill, he was seeking that ever elusive peace that since that fateful day on BC Island seemed so out of reach.

Joe sat in the relative silence as the only sound was the songs of the birds as they flitted about serenading him with their symphony. But he could care less as he closed his sapphire eyes to both the birds and the bright sunshine, his thoughts too dark to allow the rays to make their way past his retinas to his mind. For he was brooding about the events of the past missions that had nearly failed due to him. The last one specifically when not just once but twice his perplexing vision problems had caused the team to fall out of formation for the Science Ninja Whirlwind Fighter —one of their most formidable weapons—was weighing heavily on his heart.

Flashback:

The whole thing actually started one day when Nambu was calling the team to yet another battle with Katse and Galactor. Joe was struck in the middle of midtown traffic, cursing the racing official that had detained him, stating that he and another driver had in fact made it to the checkered flag simultaneously. Joe had argued the fact, stating that the other driver had made an illegal pass on the apron in order to make a run on him but the official took the photography taken at the flag as truth so the race was declared a draw, much to Joe's annoyance. He answered Nambu's command and had been simmering about the result of the race and the traffic when a stray sunbeam hit his eyes causing his vision became blurred and doubled. Joe swerved to avoid causing a major pile-up and his car then jumped the barrier and landed on the road in a park where he ended up hitting an elderly woman, causing her to roll to the curb.

He had leapt out of the car in a panic, rushing to the fallen woman and noted the faded beauty from years gone by that reminded him of his own mother. Caterina Asakura was an exotically beautiful woman who would have aged as well as this lady, had her life not been prematurely snuffed out along with her husband's by Galactor eleven years ago. Joe had knelt beside the woman who half rose shakily and tried to put him at ease.

"Are you all right?" Joe asked in concern while his bracelet sounded with Ken's insistent summons. He reached and clicked it off.

The woman managed a weak smile as she tried valiantly to get to her feet. "It's my fault, I was careless." She managed to stand albeit a bit unsteadily.

"Well, okay. I have to be going, I'm late," he said and turned to leave but the woman collapsed.

Joe rushed to the woman's side and gathered her up in his arms, marveling at the lightness of her weight. It was then he thought You're so fragile, and so obviously a mother. Just like my mom as he carried her to his car.

He had forgotten the call to battle as he tended to the frail elderly lady, massaging her back and listening as she spoke of her son, a scientist and his prestigious position. And as fate would have it, the next mission that involved the Kagaku Ninjatai had them capturing a scientist from Galactor, the frail old woman's own son. At that time Joe had been seeking treatment from doctors for his deteriorating vision and dizziness but in complete secrecy for he was afraid the had Nambu known, he would remove Joe from the team. But as it had turned out, in a later mission against Galactor his health problems caused the team to be put in jeopardy when their attempt to escape Katse with the Whirlwind Fighter failed not once but twice. Ken had ordered him back to the God Phoenix for his safety but stubbornly driven to be a part in the destruction of Galactor, he disobeyed and went off on his own. Ken was furious, not because of the act of blatant insubordination but because Joe's foolish act may have finally killed him.

But truth be told, he had been on a one-way path to destroy Galactor ever since the fateful day he had seen his own parents slaughtered by the organization that they had loyally served. Joe closed his sapphire eyes again and relived the memory of coming to the beach as an eight-year-old and seeing both parents slumped over the picnic table, slain, his father holding his ever present revolver as if to use it in defense. It was known plainly that both Giuseppe and Caterina Asakura were dissatisfied agents of Galactor and wanted out. But Galactor had found out and in their usual brutal fashion, eliminated the malcontents. Both were now dead, their lifeblood dripping on the white sand from the fatal wounds caused by the Devil Star female assassin sent by Galactor. He crept warily closer to see if they were just sleeping, hoping in his child's fragile mind that they were. A movement in the shadows drew his attention. Filled with rage, Joe snatched the revolver from his father's limp hand and he took aim at the Devil Star standing there. His hate filled eyes saw the woman turn slowly after making sure her victims were dead and he leveled the weapon at her but she seemed amused by it as she mocked the small boy by tossing a rose at him before disappearing. But the bloom was in fact a bomb, which exploded before him and blinded him as he fell back from the force. When he came to, he was in a hospital ward and the man he came to know as Nambu was there. Newly orphaned, he took Joe into his home, and helped the angry young boy to focus his bitterness on training for an elite force to destroy Galactor. There he met Ken and soon Ryu joined them followed by Jun and Jinpei. Together the five grew and trained until they were the crack force known as Kagaku Ninjatai. They also formed a familial bond that made them closer than if they actually were related.

Joe heaved a deep sigh as he recalled the fight with Ken in the alley right after the Whirlwind Fighter incident and although they nearly beat each other to a pulp, he understood Ken's position as commander of the team and as his friend. He wanted to keep Joe safe and was willing to use as the American civil rights activist Malcolm X once said, "any means necessary." Nambu then stepped in and used his authority to formerly suspend Joe from the team. But as usual, Joe ignored the directive and bucking authority, he followed Ken and Jun as they went to infiltrate Galactor's secret base.

Humph! It's a good thing I did or those two would have finally ended up together, dead Joe said to himself as he watched a cloud formation. They're always pussyfooting around the fact that they have the hots for each other and if I didn't save their butts they'd have both bought it. I can still do this job, dammit, why can't Nambu see that. Nothing, nothing is going to keep me from destroying Galactor and if I have my way, I'll strangle Katse with my bare hands!

Joe scowled as he thought of Katse and how the diabolical puppet of Sosai X would jeer at them as he always made his escapes at the end of their battles. His hands clenched as he imagined Katse's neck in them and he savored the thought of squeezing the life out of him, the madman's eyes bulging as he made his last gasps.

Someday he vowed I'll finish you off, Berg Katse for everyone. For Lila, for Lucy, for Ken, and for everybody whose lives were twisted and turned inside out because of you. This is a promise and I always keep my promises. You stole my childhood from me when you killed my parents and you will pay!

He then heard the faint sound of a plane, flying overhead but it held no interest for him as he ignored it and continued in his reverie. But then all of a sudden, Joe had the feeling of no longer being alone as the hair at the back of his neck prickled. He whirled around, feather shuriken in hand to hurl when he saw the familiar pink pinstriped legs of the lovely Swan.

"Don't shoot, I come in peace," she quipped but Joe was not amused.

He sighed to diffuse the tension as he said irritably, "What is it, Jun?"

She came and sat beside him, as she replied, "Nothing. I was just worried so I came to look for you. I knew you'd come here."

He turned and stared ahead. "I guess I'll have to find a new place to be alone," he said abruptly as he jumped to his feet to leave.

"Joe, wait!" Jun exclaimed as she too rose to her feet. She got right in his face as she stated, "You can't keep bottling everything up, you have to talk about it. So why don't you talk to me."

He glared at her as he snapped, "I told you to leave me be before, obviously you didn't get the message. What will get through that thick skull of yours that I don't want to talk about it?"

She eyed him calmly with those verdant cat eyes of hers and said softly, "No man is an island, Joe."

He growled, "If I wanted silly proverbs, I'd have gone to a Chinese restaurant and asked for some fortune cookies."

Jun was unfazed as she said, "Scoff if you like but the concept of the lone wolf is a fairy tale. And especially us, we're a team that best works as one."

Joe snorted in derision, "Yeah right. Tell that to Nambu or Ken. Both of them want me off the team." He stood there with his arms folded, his typical arrogant stance.

Jun said reasonably, "You know that's not true. They just want you to get well so you can continue to be on the team. We all miss you."

Joe sighed as he relaxed and admitted, "Yeah, I know. It's just so damned frustrating, to have times when my vision fails and I fall and can't move my legs. How can I continue as a part of Kagaku Ninjatai when I can't even move?" He turned away as if in shame.

Jun sighed and reached a hand to lay on his shoulder. "It must be very hard," she stated, at a loss for words to offer comfort.

Joe laughed bitterly, "That's putting it mildly. I want so much to end Galactor's reign of terror yet at times I can't even balance to stand on my own two feet. And the thing is it's my fault, if I hadn't stopped that time to save that puppy, they'd have never got me and I'd have never gotten that piece of shrapnel in my head." He smirked as he added, "Well that's what I get for allowing to get too soft, I won't make that mistake again, believe me."

Jun watched as Joe's face showed assumed hardness, assumed because she knew different, that under the tough-as-nails façade was still a lonely boy who mourned the death of his parents. There were times she was sure that he was crying as he sat in the Snack isolating himself from everyone and her heart went out to him.

She took his face in her hands as she said, "Yes you will, Joe. You can't turn your back on your desire to help others, even an orphaned puppy that lost its mother. You can relate like we all can because we're orphans too."

At his stoic silence Jun went on, "That's why you have to come to us to share your fears, Joe. We're your family, we've been that since Hakase brought all of us together. And no matter how you try to shut us out, we'll still try till we reach through to you. So you might as well give up, you're fighting a losing battle."

Joe shot a glare at her but the petite raven haired ninja stood there, her forest pool eyes unflinching as she stood eye to eye. He sighed realizing it was a text book stalemate and she was not going to budge, so he gave up. He admitted with a grudging admiration she truly was a force to be reckoned with Poor Ken, he has no idea what he's in for

"All right," Joe said as he acquiesced, "I'll give in, so let's get out of here." He took her elbow and together they descended the hill as the sun emerged from the clouds and bathed them in a warm light. Both his car and Jun's cycle were parked in the distance.

As they got to where Joe's car was parked, he opened the driver's side and then turned and asked out of curiosity, "By the way Jun, how'd you find me? I know I never told you about this place."

She gave him an enigmatic smile and her eyes twinkled. "Oh, I have my ways."

At that statement the sound of a low-flying single prop plane was heard and as the pilot made his flyover, a mahogany haired young man waved at the two and then took off, becoming a shadow against the bright disk of the sun.

Joe smirked as he remarked, "The White Shadow that comes like the night, I should have known." He gave a crooked grin to Jun who had mounted her motorcycle and just kicked the starter as she turned and favored him with a wink.

"Let's go home, Joe."

He nodded and got behind the wheel.

END