A/N: I found that better name I wanted! All by myself! restrains self from singing "By Myself" (Yet another Linkin Park song, which will be in a later chapter.) I figured, "Eh, I'm working with a bunch of Linkin Park songs for the chapters, why not use one for the title?" And despite a name that would sound as though it would work, this song's lyrics do not go along with the plot, which makes it perfect for the title. So here it is, folks...
A Place for My Head
by Cyberchao X
Disclaimer: Time to yet again reinforce my lack of ownership. I own this story, though. I DEMAND TO OWN THIS STORY! I don't think I've ever written so well before, and I'm proud of that, so GIMME! ;-P
Track 3: Breaking the Habit
Zelos's POV
Damn, she's touchy. I mean, she should understand that I love her. I can't help but want to...you know, have some fun. And then she gets mad. Sure enough, she came running back when I pretended to start flirting with other girls. "Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Don't you play these games with me, Zelos! You said you were going to stop flirting with other girls!"
"And I will, now that you're with me."
"So you're only going to flirt when I'm not around? You two-timing—"
"No. You didn't seem to want me around, so I did the one thing I knew would send you running back to me. Made you jealous, didn't I?"
"I...yeah." She was blushing. I'm not the only one who's changed. The old Sheena would never show such weakness,
One of the other girls interrupted rudely, "Hello, we're still here!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You've served your purpose," I blew them off.
"You liar. You were not just using us to get her back. Even if you did like that trash, that's not something you'd do. You have much too much respect for women."
Ouch. She had me there, even if she did insult Sheena. "You're right; I do have too much respect for women. However, you're the only trash around here," I replied, "which is why I had no qualms about using you." This seemed to satisfy Sheena, who was getting jealous again, and it put the woman in her place. However, it still hit me hard.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
"You were really only flirting with them to get me back?" Sheena asked. I still wasn't used to this side of her, She almost sounded...sweet.
"Of course," I replied. "I love you. And I want to do what you want me to. I...I couldn't stand to lose you. I—" Wow. This is a problem. "H—h—hello, f-fine m-maiden," I said to the beautiful young lady approaching.
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
Sheena slapped me. "I thought you weren't going to flirt with other girls!"
"You're right," I said, drawing her close, "I should stay with you all the time." I tried to add a seductive tone to my voice, as I pushed the straps off of her shoulders. She pushed them back up and slapped me again.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
"Sorry, my mistake. We're in public. It's inappropriate."
"It's not just that. You said you wouldn't be a pervert."
"Is it so wrong to want?" I asked mischievously.
She rolled her eyes. "You're really pushing it," she said.
"I can't help it," I said, trying to look as vulnerable as possible, "you're just too sexy."
She raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah...well, I suppose I should be flattered...but if that's all that you want me for, then I just can't go on like this."
"It's not all," I said. "You were the first person to show me that I'm not perfect. You see me for who I really am. You treat me like I'm dirt, but it makes me want you even more. I could never be happy with what I had. I always wanted what I couldn't get. Like you."
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
"So, you don't think you can have me. Well, I love you, flaws and all. I want this to work. I'm praying it'll work. So if you think that you don't deserve me, then I'll abide by your wishes and go."
"You're not serious." I groaned. How did she get that out of my words?"
"If it'll make you happy..."
"But I was never happy! Not until I had you!"
"I see." She was grinning. She tricked me, the little devil! "Then I'll stay. Until you mess up, anyway."
"That wasn't nice."
"I don't play nice."
"I know. That's what I love about you." I gave a low growl.
She sweatdropped. "You're starting to scare me."
"Too forward?"
"Yeah. At least you're not being perverted."
"That's because I could be blindfolded right now and you'd still be turning me on. You've changed too, Sheena, and I like it."
"How have I changed?" she asked.
"You used to just look hot. Now you are hot." I prepared myself for the inevitable attack. It didn't come.
"I have no idea what you mean by that, but I think I like it. You're pretty appealing yourself, you know." She drew me in close this time. She's playing games with me...I know what she wants. She wants me to blow it. She's still in denial. She wants me, but she doesn't think I can meet her standards. I'm not stupid. I know what she's doing. Unfortunately, some things are just too hard to resist. I started rubbing her back, as I know she loves, and then gradually started to work my way down. She's got to understand. At this point, merely looking down is a lewd act.
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
Sure enough, she slapped me. "Oh, come on. You were asking for that one," I said.
"You're right. I was."
"You don't think I can do it."
"I want to be absolutely sure that you have."
"You don't believe in me. I thought...I thought you said you loved me. Flaws and all." I started to cry. At first, I was doing it merely for dramatic effect, but then I found myself unable to stop.
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
"I...I do... I'm sorry." Somewhere around this point, I heard a few comments from envious onlookers, most of them males envying me, but a few females envying her. I rolled my eyes at them, and Sheena glared menacingly. Such a sweet girl, isn't she?
After she finished thoroughly beating up the entire group of onlookers, I told her, "You know, sometimes I think you wear such revealing clothes just so you can get mad at guys for staring at your breasts."
I snickered, but Sheena didn't seem to think it was funny. "I didn't pick this out, remember? That woman gave them to us. And you picked out the formalwear."
"Me? No, I was with you guys, remember? They were waiting at my house when we got there. I think they were sent from the castle. The royal designers probably made them."
"Ah, yes, that's right. Sorry."
"Although..." I began.
"What? Did you have some influence in that?" she asked angrily.
"Perhaps. I didn't have any direct influence in the creation of the outfits. However, I did spend much time at the castle before our journey began, and the royal designers are all female. You know how girls love me, right, my dear? I can't guarantee that they didn't do that for my viewing pleasure."
"Really?" she said dryly, "I never would have guessed."
"There's no need for sarcasm. I swear I didn't have anything to do with it. I suppose they were expecting me to thank them, but that outfit really didn't suit you."
"You agree? I'm surprised."
"Well, you may be well-endowed, but you're not the type to show it off with some cheesy outfit. It did look good on you, I admit, but it wasn't the type of thing you'd choose."
"Yes, it was kind of cheesy. It reminded me of those three girls that followed you around."
The girls were still on the beach, where they'd been before. "Quiet, Sheena. There's no need to be rude to them."
"Why not? You don't still care for them, do you?"
"I care for everyone. I don't want anyone to get hurt."
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
"In other words, yes."
"What? No! Not like that, anyway...You're the only one for me. They're just...people. But no matter how they may be, it's still rude."
"You..." She sighed. "Fine. You're right. They're still people." She paused. "Wait, didn't you call them trash just earlier this afternoon?"
"Only because they called you trash. I can't just sit and listen to someone insulting you. I love you."
"So you keep saying."
"Because it's true."
"Exactly."
"What is going on here?" Apparently Lloyd and Genis had gotten tired of whatever it was they were doing, and they and Colette had been watching for some time.
"I have no idea," I replied.
"What do you mean?" Sheena asked, "We're just...well, nothing, really."
"Uh-huh. We've basically broken up and gotten back together five times in the past half an hour. I hardly call that nothing."
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
"No we haven't. We're just playing games. You agree, right?"
"Yeah...I guess..." She glared at me. "I mean, yes! Definitely!" Everyone else sweatdropped.
"I don't think it's meant to be between them," Lloyd whispered.
"Yeah, it's not like you and Colette," Genis whispered back.
"We can hear you, you know!" I informed them. They nervously ran off. We watched them, suspecting that Genis was going to pay for his remarks. Sure enough, he did, and we laughed. I suppose I've got a bit of a mean streak myself, and that's why I like it so much in Sheena. "So, now what?"
"We go back in the water, I guess," Sheena replied.
"Sounds good to me."
A good amount of time passed. "The beach is closing now," a bunny girl informed everyone. Sheena looked at me to see how I would react to the girl, but I didn't even turn to see her. Those outfits are just shameful. Even I have my limits. We regrouped. "Should we stay the night?" Regal asked.
"I don't see why not," Raine replied. "All in favor?" Everyone was, and so we went to the hotel.
We got there right as they were about to close the desk. "Is there still time to check in?" Genis asked.
"You guys just made it in time," the receptionist said, "As always, you'll be in the VIP suite on the fifth floor."
"Actually, I think we'll be needing a few rooms tonight," Lloyd said, winking at me. What was he planning?
"Well, if you will be going out for awhile, we can fix it up for you. We can get out multiple beds, partitions...the works. How many rooms must we turn it into?"
Lloyd quickly counted up the members of the group. "Four should be fine." Two to a room, then... So that's what he was up to. He, of course, would be with Colette, and he'd probably put us together, which leaves Genis, Raine, Presea, and Regal. Regal had been in love with Presea's sister, Alicia, so those two could go together, and that would put Genis and Raine together, who are siblings. This setup would work. But knowing Lloyd, he'll probably put Genis and Presea together, to help Genis get over his shyness, and put Raine and Regal together simply because they were the only ones left.
"So, Sheena, what shall we do now?" I asked.
"I don't know...I didn't think about this. Go to the theater, I guess."
"Yeah, I'm not in the mood for gambling either. The theater it is, then." Something made me uneasy, however. Something about my dearest Sheena...she was up to something, I could tell.
Damnit, I was right. As we approached the theater, it soon became evident that this was a particularly bad night to have done so. I rushed forwards, mouth open, and Sheena pulled me back. "You can't have them, Zelos. You'd interrupt the show, and besides, you'd break your promise."
"What did I do?"
"You're drooling." She shoved my lower jaw upwards, and a pool of saliva exited my mouth as it closed.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
"I'm sorry, Sheena! They're...they're...just...painted!"
"Yes, I noticed...paint and clay. And the clay's only covering the most private of spots."
"You knew this ahead of time, didn't you?"
She grinned mischievously. "And if I did?"
"You don't really want me, do you? You only agreed because you thought I couldn't meet the conditions you set out. Well I can, and I will!" The entirety of the theater then yelled at me to be quiet.
"No, sweetie, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be lured away by someone more beautiful."
"There is no one more beautiful to me than you, Sheena. There never will be." She looked stunned. I don't think she expected that.
"So then you only love me for my beauty?" she asked, recovering.
"No! It's not just what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside!"
"So then you're saying that there could be someone more beautiful than me."
I groaned. "I can't win this, can I? Okay, here's what I'm saying. No one can top your beauty, inside or outside. I love you, with all of my heart. And nothing will ever change that."
"See? It's not a no-win situation, is it?"
I was stunned. "N-no. It isn't. I get it now... Thank you." And we kissed, long and deep, and I could tell that I wasn't in danger of being slapped. That she wanted me to do that. Yes...I see that, too. A relationship must be taken in steps. I am finally free of my old ways now.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
A/N: Yes, it's a bit OoC. I don't care. So don't tell me that I'm OoC. Anyway, I think you'll see a bit of my own character in Zelos in this one...a little bit of my own feelings towards someone I know. Try and figure it out, if you can ;)