A Place for My Head Chapter 5: Pushing Me Away, a tales of symphonia fanfic

A Place for My Head

by Cyberchao X

A/N: Sorry it took so long...I'm still struggling through the ideas here. I'm trying to pull off my plans for this chapter despite the unexpected ending of the previous one, so it may come off rather badly.

Disclaimer: I do not own any songs, characters, or places within this story.

Track 5: Pushing Me Away

Zelos's POV

What a wonderful night it was. Now, where were we headed next? I asked Sheena. "We-we're going...to Mizuho." She clearly wasn't very happy about this. Mizuho was her hometown, and she was supposed to succeed her grandfather as chief. Unfortunately, this would put a serious damper on our relationship.

I've lied / to you
The same way that I always do

This is / the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

"You don't want to go back, do you?" She shook her head. "It...would be the end, wouldn't it?"

"Not...not for us. I just...don't want to disappoint them. I'll have to, though, to be with you. That's far more important to me.

Everything falls apart / even the people who never frown / eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end / you'll soon find we're out of time left / to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing

Orochi was waiting for us when we arrived. "Sheena! I'm pleased to see that you're well." He bowed. I think he's in love with Sheena also.

She either didn't notice or didn't have the heart to break the news to him yet. "Thank you, Orochi. But you know that I'm not exactly a pushover in battle."

"Yes, of course. Now, I believe there was some business that you and your friends needed to attend to?"

"Correct," I said quickly, "We'd best be taking our leave of you now." Sheena stopped me.

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up to you later."

This was troubling, and I would have thought she would've seen it in my eyes, that whatever it was, I would come with her, but she firmly stood her ground on the matter. What was going on?

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

"Wonder what that was all about?" Lloyd said curiously.

"I don't know, but I definitely don't like it."

Colette sighed, "Yeah... Must be hard, having to leave your village because of love." Genis and Lloyd looked at each other, then at her. While it wasn't exactly love, it was an act of sentimentality that got them banished from their own village.

I started, "Somehow I don't think..."

I've tried / like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is / the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

"Sheena is a smart girl. She knows what is best," Chief Igaguri told us, "Whatever her decision, it will be the right one."

"Yeah, I know...but why torture me like this?"

Just then, Sheena and Orochi entered. "Sorry it took so long," she smiled at me. She'd better have an explanation for this...why were they so close to one another?

"What have you been doing?" I demanded.

"It's...nothing of any concern to you. Nothing's going to change."

"So he'll carry on as such. With you? Will you let him do so?"

"Listen, Zelos, this is nothing to be getting so worked up about!" This was getting nowhere. "I swear, you're so jealous!"

"I get it now," I said. "This is another of your tests. I thought you said they were over. That you finally trusted me. Now I know that I can't trust you."

"No, you're all wrong!" She was getting angry. As beautiful as she is when she's angry, she's also quite deadly, and I was not about to get on the receiving end of a Summon Spirit's power. "You...you...just...agh!" She stormed off.

"Hope you have fun here. 'Cause you're certainly not staying with me once this is over," I muttered, after she was out of earshot.

"Now, hold on, Zelos," Raine urged. "You're not going to give up on her just like that, are you? You, who never gives up, no matter how often you're rejected?"

"This...this is different. And I'm not the one giving up. She's mad at me."

"She just needs some time to collect her thoughts," she replied. "Give it some time, for the two of you to calm down, and it'll all get better."

"If you say so..."

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I walked out of the village. I wasn't going to leave, I just...needed some fresh air. And exercise. However, that wasn't the way it seemed to onlookers. "You're not really just going to leave them, are you?"

"Wha... Orochi! What do you want?" I was not in the mood to talk to him. If it weren't for him, none of this would've happened.

"Your friends need you. Sheena needs you. You don't want to let her down, do you?"

"What does she need me for? She's more than capable on her own."

"Not what I meant."

"Well, she's got you for that."

"Sheena is a very complicated woman. But deep down, she really loves you. I know. I've been close to her for quite some time. She...tells me things, sometimes."

"Yeah...you're right. I should try to make things right with her. By the way, I wasn't leaving. I just thought a walk would do me some good."

"Oh." He was clearly unprepared for this.

We're all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
We're all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds
The sacrifice is never knowing why...

Sheena had already returned. "Uh, I..." I started.

She stopped me. "Sh, it's okay," she whispered, gently caressing my face and taking my lips in hers. When she had finished, she said, "I understand what you thought. It was all just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah..." I sighed, "I should have known better than to not trust you." I returned her loving gestures.

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
pushes me away

record scratch HOLD UP!

A/N: I told you back in chapter two, didn't I? "The reason for this will become clear eventually..." This was the main thing I had in mind, though I might be able to do this with other chapters as well. So, without further ado...

REMIX!

Track 5.5: P5hing Me Awy

A/N: This is basically the same chapter you just read, from a different point of view, so many events will seem like dejá vu.

Sheena's POV

When I look into your eyes
There's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes
Staring back at me

Ah, it had been wonderful. It also helped me finalize my decision. Today was the day. We were going back to Mizuho. I was a bit nervous about telling them that I'd be stepping down from the succession, but it was worth it to be able to spend the rest of my life with Zelos. He woke up and asked me where we were going today. Nervously, I told him. He noticed my apprehension and asked, "It...would be the end, wouldn't it?"

"Not...not for us," I replied, "I just...don't want to disappoint them. I'll have to, though, to be with you. That's far more important to me."

dniwnu lla hctaw ot tfel, emit attuo er'ew, dnif noos ll'uoy, dne ot sah gnihtyrevE
nwod kaerb yllautneve nworf reven ohw elpoep eht neve, trapa sllaf gnihtyrevE
dniwnu lla hctaw ot tfel, emit attuo er'ew, dnif noos ll'uoy, dne ot sah gnihtyrevE
nwod kaerb yllautneve nworf reven ohw elpoep eht neve, trapa sllaf gnihtyrevE

(A/N: The lyrics that I got said that they played this text backwards, and I actually took the time to write it backwards. Turn it around, and you'll easily recognize it.)

Orochi was waiting for us when we arrived. "Sheena! I'm pleased to see that you're well." He bowed to me.

"Thank you, Orochi. But you know that I'm not exactly a pushover in battle," I replied. I decided that it was necessary to take him aside for a talk and sent the others ahead. Zelos looked sad. I desperately wanted to tell him that it'd be okay, but I just couldn't.

I've lied
To you
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

"Is there something wrong, Sheena?" Orochi asked.

"Well...I...I need you to...stop. I'm..."

"I understand. It's only natural that this would eventually happen. So, you're happy now."

"Yes." I nodded. He was showing great restraint. This had to be hard on him...

(Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down)
(Everything has to end, you'll soon find, we're outta time, left to watch it all unwind)
For sake of being with you
(Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down)
The sacrifice is never knowing

We rejoined the others. "Sorry it took so long." I smiled at Zelos, trying to let him know that everything was fine.

He looked disturbed, though. "What have you been up to?" he asked. I realized that Orochi was keeping very close to me...I panicked.

"It's...nothing of any concern to you. Nothing's going to change."

"So he'll carry on as such. With you? Will you let him do so?"

"Listen, Zelos, this is nothing to be getting so worked up about!" This was getting nowhere. "I swear, you're so jealous!"

Why I stayed with you
Just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me

"I get it now," he said. "This is another of your tests. I thought you said they were over. That you finally trusted me. Now I know that I can't trust you."

"No, you're all wrong! You...you...just...agh!" I couldn't think straight. I left, trying to collect my thoughts. It seemed as though Orochi was following me, but he didn't. I suppose he felt that his continued presence would only make Zelos angry, although knowing him, Orochi would have probably been better off staying where Zelos could see him.

more backwards talk

This was starting to get complicated. I love Zelos, but he's so...boorish, at times. He needs to spend less time talking and more time listening. But...I knew that. Why didn't I tell him what I wanted to talk to Orochi about? Because, that would involve putting it off longer, and hurting Orochi... No. He wouldn't have been hurt. He knew what I was going to say right away. So why was he doing this to me? He said that he knew I'd be happier this way, yet he seemed to be trying to ruin it. Unless he meant for it to bring us closer... It backfired, obviously. I headed back.

I've tried
Like you
To do everything you wanted to
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

"Where's Zelos?" I asked, as he was not with the others.

"He left without saying a word," Regal replied. "He was taking it pretty hard..."

"I'm sorry." I started out.

"I think it'd be better if you stayed here," Raine said. "He'll come around."

(Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end, you'll soon find, we're outta time, left to watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

A short while later, Zelos returned. "Uh, I..." He was getting very tongue-tied. Guess it's up to me to loosen it up.

I came in close, stroking him. "Sh, it's okay." If his tongue was going to be tied with anything, it would be my own. "I understand what you thought. It was all just a misunderstanding."

He returned my love and sighed, "Yeah...I should've known better than to not trust you." I was glad. This was going to be a major driving point.

Why I stayed with you
Just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me

I smiled. Orochi's plan hadn't backfired, after all. Or so it would seem. "Zelos...I never want to lose you."

"And I you. We should try to take it easy, then...no sense in getting ourselves killed." I nodded. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on, though?"

"Well, I didn't want to hurt either one of you..."

Reverse psychology's failing miserably
It's so hard to be, left all alone
Telling you is the only chance for me
There's nothing left but, to turn and face you

"You mean, you didn't want to hurt him."

"I was going to have to hurt him anyway! Rejection does that, doesn't it?"

"I was feeling rejected," he said solemnly.

I was nearly in tears. "I really am sorry."

"I know. Please, though...don't ever do anything like that again."

"Okay. I promise you, I'll never hurt you like that again."

When I look into your eyes, there's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
Asking why...

This morning stopover had turned into an all-day affair. "You know," I said, "As the Chief's granddaughter, I have one of the nicest rooms in the village..." I smiled at him suggestively.

He got the message. "Right behind you, my vision of loveliness!" When he said "right behind", he meant it very literally, in two senses of the word.

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie (why)
The sacrifice is never knowing

It was pure bliss. How could either of us know what was about to come?

The next morning, we left the village...

Why I stayed with you
Just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
Why I stayed with you
Just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me

To be continued...mwahahahaha...

A/N: Kind of leaves you on edge, doesn't it? Eh, I needed some filler to finish off the song, so I decided to start off the next chapter now. Don't worry, I'll try to update again soon.