Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be. The italic lines are not mine either, they belong to the creators of CSI. I just borrowed them.
A/N: The N/S "Bloodlines" scene inspired me to write this. Oh and him is Nick.
Pairing: N/S
Really hard
Their conversation kept echoing through her head even during the most embarrassing moments of her life his words kept replaying over and over again.
"Hey, hey, Nick, congratulations on your almost promotion. Seriously, you
deserve it."
"Wow. That's really hard for you, isn't it?"
If only he'd known exactly how hard it had been, so hard she hadn't managed to say the words she was yearning to say.
The silence surrounding her wasn't helping her shift her thoughts, but how could she tell Grissom, sitting next to her, what had instigated the cause of her near arrest. He probably thought he had caused it and at this moment of utter embarrassment she didn't feel like correcting him. She rested her head against the cool window of the car, closing her eyes, remembering the feel of his skin rubbing against hers. She had linked her arm through his. It was all she had dared to do.
How on earth could she tell him how she felt about him? He would never believe her. No one would. At first she couldn't believe it herself. She had been hung up on Grissom for so long. It had become a second nature, but the butterflies she felt when she saw him couldn't be denied. Being around him made her forget to breath. No other man had ever done that to her. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. She felt like a love sick teenager.
On top of everything else now she was sitting in Grissom's car. Grissom who had been called to pick her up and who had for the first time really shown some kind of concern for her. A small sigh escaped her lips when she freed herself from thinking of him for a second to think about her current situation.
She had had a couple of beers. The thought of food made her queasy, so she hadn't eaten and she hadn't slept for days now. She hadn't really thought about it when she stepped into her car, her mind was some place else, with someone else. Even when they pulled her over she didn't totally grasp what was happening.
Noticing her mind wander to him again she opened her eyes slightly trying get a grip on reality. Reality surfaced fast when she heard Grissom tell her she was on a leave of absence from this moment on. The tone of his voice told her this decision wasn't hers to make. She nodded and silently excited the car, entering her safe haven of secret feelings again.
It was going to be really hard, but one way or another she would tell him she loved him.
END