Goodbye My Love
By: Panda
Summary: Harm reminises...that's all.
A/N: TISSUE WARNING! I cried while writing this....you may need a tissue or two. I don't have a beta reader, so any mistakes are mine...being as I am an idiot sometimes. lol
I remember the first time I saw her. I swear, she was a ghost, come back to haunt me. She looked so much like Diane. As I got to know her, I realized that she was nothing like Diane. She was her own person, and I am happy and thankful for that. I remember each and every kiss. When we were on the pier, seeing her standing there, in the foggy night, wearing a Navy uniform. At first, I was kissing Diane, but sometime during those few seconds, I stopped kissing Diane, and started kissing her. Something changed that night. Then on the Admiral's porch at her engagement party. I overstepped the boundaries of a well-wisher during that kiss. I felt so connected to her, yet at the same time, felt so un-attached to her that it was scary. Then at Christmas, under the mistletoe. I planned getting her under it with me all night. And I was so happy when it came true.
The first time I told her I loved her was perfect. We were on the beach, watching the sunset. I looked into her chocolate brown eyes and it felt so right. So perfect. So I said it. 'I love you.' She began to cry and wrapped her arms around me. 'I love you too.' she said. Our wedding day was a dream. I stood at the alter in my dress whites and gold wings. As I watched her come down the aisle, I cried for the first time since Russia, since I found my father. She wore her white dress, and her long white veil. She carried a bouquet of red and white roses, tied with a thin blue and green ribbon. We looked into each other's eyes, and proclaimed our undying devotion to each other with two words...'I do.'
I remember the first night I held her in my arms, after we were married. The way we spooned together under the covers. I remember the way she wrapped her arms around my neck as she turned around in my arms, and then she kissed me. Our first time was magical. The electricity between us was something I had never felt before. The day she told me we were having a child, all my dreams came true. We imagined a boy with her looks and my brains, or a girl with my looks and her brains. We got both. Our son, Matthew Harmon Rabb, with her brunette hair and brown eyes. Our daughter, Mackenzie Faith Rabb, with my black hair and blue-green eyes. When she wrapped her little hand around my finger, or when he smiled at me, I felt so complete. We watched them grow up, and raised them into the best people that they could be. He was a pilot, she was a lawyer. He was a Marine, and she was in the Navy. They are both married now, with children of their own. We are so proud of them.
The day we found out she was sick, my life was shattered to pieces. I stood by her side, held her hand, and prayed. My prayers were answered for awhile, but last year, it came back. She is dying, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. The love of my life is lying on her deathbed, and I cannot take her place, no matter how much I wish I could. All I can do is hold her hand and wait. Everyone is here. Our kids, the grandkids, all our JAG family, except for those that have already passed on. They are all waiting, as am I. I now sit alone, by her bedside. Everyone has already come in to say their 'goodbyes.' Even though she is dying, she is happy and at peace, because she lived a good life, and did all that she wanted to do. Her 87 years must finally come to an end. I feel her squeeze my hand.
"Harm." She utters a barely audible whisper.
"Yeah?" I look down into her eyes.
"I love you...and I'll wait for you at the gates. I'll watch for your F-14." She cracks a smile and I laugh.
"Oh Sarah...I love you too...until we meet again."
I bend down for one final kiss. I press my lips to hers in a searing kiss that will linger on my lips for all eternity. I brush her grayed hair back from her face, and whisper another 'I love you.' She smiles, and I stare into her chocolate eyes one last time, watching as they close. She took one last breath, and she is gone. The cancer had finally taken her. I felt two tears roll down my cheeks, and then remembered the promise I made her. I promised not to cry for her when she was gone, for she was finally free. I stood and turned to the sky, looking out of the picture window. "You are finally free...goodbye my love." I whispered. As I looked ino the clouds, I saw her, smiling, looking just as she did the day I met her. And then, knowing she was finally ok, I smiled.
-FIN-