Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely nothing.

A/N: Sorry it's taken a while. But I've been really busy. I would love some feedback to see whether this is any good or not. It'll make me a very happy bunny. Well, this is longer than the others, I hope you enjoy.

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"What choice do I have to make Spike?"

He walked around so he was standing behind her and put his hand on her shoulders.

"The choice you have to make will be hard, Buffy" but the voice was no longer Spike's

"M-Mom?"

"Yes Buffy, It's me." Buffy spun around and hugged her mother tightly.

"I missed you too Buffy. But I have been watching you down there."

There were fresh tears streaming down Buffy's already tear stained face.

"But you do still have a choice to make"

Buffy nodded unable to speak.

"And it will be difficult."

"What choice is it I have to make Mom?"

"You have to decide whether or not you want to change what you saw, change the world. You have the chance to go back, live again. If you take it you can make it so much better."

"But How..? I mean the world just ended – there's nothing left to save, why would I want to go back anyway, I have no reason to. I've done that before, and believe me it was no picnic. The answer is no."

"Think Buffy, You have the chance to save your sister, you can save Dawn, and the rest of the world."

"She's already dead Mom, and the rest of the world, if you hadn't noticed. I watched it happen. There's nothing I or anybody else can do about it."

"But there is Buffy, we – the powers that be – are offering you the chance to go back – one year into the past and re-live that year. You can change it, Make it better. If you live that year again, if you stop the end of days from coming to pass, you get to make another choice."

"What then Mom?"

"You will not know until it is time to make that choice, if you take the chance."

"Oh"

You have to make this choice based purely upon what you have just seen. Nothing else must influence your decision at all."

"I still don't want to go back. What about Willow, Xander, Giles? Can't you just send them back and let me stay?"

"This is too powerful for them Buffy, They would need you too. Besides, they are making their choices, they may not take the chance."

"But if it's me that's needed, why do they have to choose too? Why not just send me? Why do they have to make a choice on whether or not to give all this up?"

"Because they are important too They deserver the chance."

"What will happen if they go back and I don't?"

"That is not for you to know yet. If you do not go, yet they do, you will be able to watch them but nothing more.

"And what if I go back and they don't?"

"That too is not for you too know yet. None must know what their own future holds, and as I have already said, your decision must not be influenced by anything but what you just saw."

"But if I go back it will be just the same as before. I'll go through hell and spend forever or at least the whole year trying to get over it."

"Not this time Buffy. You will have no memories of his place – you will have to work it out for yourself. Piece it together as you go along. That way it will not be as much of a shock as it was before."

"Well if it was that easy, why wasn't that done last time?"

"There were reasons for that. One was that we had no notice of what was going to happen, what your friends were about to do. We had no time to prepare. Another reason was that you had been dead too long, if you had no memories of being dead it would have been too strange to your friends and yourself."

"Right – well - How - if I decide to go back – How would I discover this?"

"That Buffy I can not tell you. But you will."

"When do I have to make my choice?"

"Soon Buffy, Soon" Buffy swallowed hard and nodded at her mother.

"You will be called upon to give your choice once all of you have decided, one way or the other. You will rejoin your friends and each of you will speak their choice in turn."

"Right – Mom – Can we just talk for a bit, forget about the choice for now?"

"Yes, As long as you make the choice soon Buffy."

"I will I just want to talk some." There was an awkward silence. It hung in the air between mother and daughter.

"Mom, …" Buffy stopped, unsure of herself.

"Yes, Buffy"

"If I'm here with you now – how come I wasn't last time I was here?"

"You were Buffy"

"I don't remember you being with me…"

"I was. The memories you had of us together here were the one thing we managed to take away as you were pulled back to life. We believed that if you remembered me, remembered being here together, it would be too much altogether and you would do something stupid, or more stupid than you did anyway, either that or go completely off the rails. So we snatched those memories from your mind as you were crawling out of your grave."

"So – we were together, I did get to see you. I-I thought …."

"It doesn't matter Buffy"

"If you were watching me, like you said you were, you know what's been happening."

"Yes, I know everything that's happened since I died, Buffy."

"Then you know, - about me and spike, dawn, willow, …everything. Oh Mom, I really screwed up that year."

"No Buffy, you were going through a lot." Joyce hugged her daughter.

"But I feel so stupid- wasting all that time, trying so hard to get over being ripped out of here, I didn't even notice what was happening to anyone, and then Tara, oh mom, is Tara here? And with Spike, I just wanted to feel, something anything, again, even if it was just for a short time." Buffy babbled, barely even stopping for breath.

"Calm down Buffy, take it slower."

"I really regret not telling Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn, Anya, Tara about me being here. I know they probably could have helped. I just couldn't deal with their guilt on top of everything."

" and yet they found out everything anyway,"

"Yeah with that singing demon that Xander summoned."

"You know, that kinda looked like fun at first, all the singing and dancing."

"Yeah that's what Xander thought too. And it was at first, but then too many feelings started pouring out, too fast and too strong."

"But Buffy, its better that they found out, they could better understand what you were going through."

"That whole year was just too confusing. I wouldn't want to go through all that again."

"Well, You wouldn't be going back that far, only one year."

"Yeah I guess…"

"But Buffy…"

"Yeah mom?"

"If you do go back, please don't start sleeping with spike again." Joyce laughed.

"I won't – believe me I won't. we're just friends now."

"Buffy, Love, have you made your choice yet?"

"Yeah mom, I think I just have."

"Good,- it's just about time."

With just enough time for one last hug, and a hurried goodbye, there was a brilliant white flash, then everything went dark again.