The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man
Part 9: The Witch, The Cat, The Toad and the Demon
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men, Marvel does. Damn them!
Shout Outs-
Risty- Didn't like the Todd/Felicia fluff? Pity. More B-Hood fun up next!
Dark Jaded Rose- Liked the fluff huh? I don't think you're kinky, not much anyway!
Caliente- At least you liked the Todd/Felicia fluff! Who's gonna help out Wanda with the spying? Rahne? Nope! Rogue? Good guess but no! You'll have to wait and find out won't you?
Bleedingdemon89- Oh great an Orlando Bloom fangirl! 0_ou Not that there's anything wrong with liking him. I thought he was good in 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Rock on yourself my Fanfic uh... sister! Heh!
Quote of the day- 'You aren't as stupid as you look. The again, you look like a retard!'
For
Dark Jaded Rose
Get well soon luv!
^_~
Wanda is walking down the street. Unsurprisingly she isn't in the best of moods. The other passers-by on the sidewalk give her a wide berth. Those that don't know that she's Mutant, know her reputation for having a permanently moody disposition.
'I can't believe Toad chose that peroxide slut over me!' She mopes to herself. 'I'm the most powerful Mutant in that crap hole of a house and he chooses her!'
Several street lamps flicker as she walks past. People step out of her way, not wanting to get involved.
'This is insane!' Wanda continues. 'I can't have feelings for that insect! He smells, he eats flies and... he has the most amazing smile! ACK! Get a grip of yourself woman!'
She then slumps down on a nearby bench, slumping her head onto her hands.
'If only there was some way that I could spy on them. I'll need an accomplice though. But who? Rogue? No. Pietro? Pff! No way! Fred? No again! Too conspicuous!'
She then looks across the street and notices a familiar looking guy with floppy hair.
'I've got it! It's such a perfect choice! He hates Toad!'
Across the street, the fuzzy blue teleporter known as Nightcrawler (or Kurt Wagner to his friends) is walking along the street (covered up by his image inducer of course), perfectly unaware of what approaches. He yelps as a hand pulls him into a nearby alley. It's Wanda!
'Eep! Ze Scarlet Witch!' Kurt squeaks.
'Glad you remembered!' Wanda answers. 'Don't try teleporting away. I'm using my hex powers to screw up your powers!'
'Okay.' Kurt sighs. 'Vhat do you vant with me?'
'I want you to go on a date with me.' Wanda says matter-of-factly.
Kurt looks at her with an incredulous expression.
'You can't be serious! You vant to go on a date vith me? Pull ze other vun!' He then bursts out laughing. 'HAHAHA!! I never knew you had such a sense of humour! You should have your own show!' He then stops as he sees that Wanda isn't joking at all. 'Mein Gott! You're serious!'
***
Todd and Felicia walk into a swanky looking restaurant. Todd turns to Felicia with a nervous look on his face.
'I don't know about this, yo. This place is kinda exclusive don'cha think?
Felicia just smiles and pats Todd's cheek.
'Toddy, Toddy, Toddy. Panic not my hoppy little stud muffin! You'll be fine!'
Todd just shrugs and follows Felicia over to the Maitre D'.
'Ah Mizz Hardy.' The snooty French guy says. 'It eez a pleazure to zee you again. Please follow zis way!'
Todd raises a brow.
'You come here often?'
'I'm a rich-bitch!' Felicia smirks. 'It's my curse I suppose.'
After they have sat down, the Maitre D' offers them the wine list.
'Vould you like to see ze wine leest?'
'No thanks Jacque.' Felicia answers. 'We'll just have my usual.'
'Ze Chateau Derriere. Magnificent choice!'
He walks off, leaving them alone.
'You decided what you want yet Toddy?' Felicia asks.
'I dunno yet 'Licia.' He answers. 'This is all in French!'
'Just have what I'm having. You'll like it. It's fish.'
'Jeez!' Todd smirks. 'You're taking this 'Black Cat' thing a little too far ain'cha?'
'What were you expecting?' Felicia smirks back. 'A bowl of milk and lots of cat puns? Were not in the old Batman TV series y'know!'
The Maitre D' walks back up with their wine.
'Are you ready to order yet Mizz?'
Felicia orders her meal and for Todd too. The Maitre D' walks off again, once again leaving them alone. Felicia pours them some wine. Todd takes a sip.
'Mmm! This is good! I can smell raspberries, almonds and grass cuttings.'
'Uh, Todd.' Felicia says. 'It's wine. It doesn't have all that crap in. it's made from grapes!'
'I knew that, yo!'
Unseen by the two of them, Wanda and a reluctant Kurt walk in. The maitre D' stops them, telling them that they can't come in, as they are full. Wanda glares, making the lights flicker menacingly. The Maitre D' thinks better and shows them to a table.
'I'm gonna die!' Kurt winces to himself.
Wanda sits down and looks over at Todd and Felicia.
'Is zat ze girl zat Todd's going out vith?'
'Yes.' Wanda hisses, not even turning around.
'She's nice.'
Wanda spins around and glares at Kurt.
'In a totally slutty vay!' Kurt corrects himself.
A waiter comes up for their order.
'I'll just have soup.' Wanda tells him.
'And what about sir?'
'He'll be having soup too!' Wanda says, before Kurt can open his mouth.
The waiter then leaves them to it. Kurt decides to break the awkward silence first.
'Zis place is nice.'
'I suppose.' Wanda says, still looking over at Todd and Felicia.
'So vhy did you vant me here?'
'I need to spy on Todd and his slut.'
'And you didn't vant to seem like a stalker? Vhy did you choose me?'
'Because you hate Todd too, right?'
'Hate is such a strong word.'
Over at Todd and Felicia's table, Felicia looks over at the other two.
'Hey, isn't that Wanda?' She asks.
Todd follows her gaze.
Wanda notices this and turns to Kurt.
'Quick!' she says. 'Kiss me!'
Before Kurt can say anything, however, she grabs him by the collar and plants a smacker on his lips.
'Nah!' Todd says. 'That can't be Wanda! She'd never do that!'
Later-
Todd and Felicia gather up their things and prepare to leave.
'That was a wonderful night 'Licia.' Todd says, kissing her. 'You take me to the best places.'
'You'll have to take me out to your best eating spot next!' She tells him.
'The stinky pond it is then!'
'You're kidding right?' Felicia asks. 'Right?'
Over by Wanda and Kurt's table, they get up and leave too.
'Uh about zat kiss.' Kurt mumbles.
'Don't read anything into it.' Wanda tells him. 'It was an emergency precaution.'
'Oh!'
'Come on! They're leaving!'
Wanda grabs Kurt by the hand and drags him outside. They follow a couple of steps behind Todd and Felicia.
'Todd.' Felicia says. 'I think we've got ourselves a couple of stalkers!'
Todd looks behind them and sees Wanda and Kurt.
'Hey, you're right, yo! It is Wanda! Hey Wanda! Come an' join us!'
Wanda cringes in embarrassment and in a last ditch effort to do something, she grabs Kurt and kisses him again.
'Whoa!' Todd gasps. 'I didn't know that Wanda could kiss like that! And to an X-Man too!'
'Let's; leave the two love birds alone shall we?' Felicia smirks.
Wanda finally lets Kurt up for air and lets him go. Kurt swoons a little with a goofy smile on his face. 'Vas zat an emergency precaution too?'
'Shut up!'
Later-
Wanda and Kurt are standing outside the Brotherhood place. There is another awkward silence between the two as neither of them can decide how to end the 'date.'
'So.' Wanda says. 'This is my stop.'
'Uh-huh.'
'I would invite you in but, y'know, I don't like you, and stuff.'
'I understand.' Kurt sighs. He then steps forward and kisses Wanda gently on the cheek and walks off. 'Be seeing ya!'
Instead of hexing the socks off him, like she normally would, Wanda puts her hand on her cheek in amazement.
'Nobody's ever kissed me before!' She gasps. 'Face it Wanda.' A voice says inside her head. 'You dig the fuzzy man!'
'No I don't!'
'You do too!'
'Well, maybe a little!'
Wanda then runs down the path and yells after him.
'Kurt! Wait!'
Kurt turns around and looks in amazement and Wanda runs up to him and takes his hand.
'Vhat is it now?' He sighs.
'Thankyou.' Wanda says before kissing him.
Kurt's eyes pop open in amazement at another kiss, this time real!
'Vhat vas zat for?'
'Didn't you like it?'
'It vasn't that it... just surprised me is all!'
'You mean good surprised right?'
'Ja!'
'Good! I'll see you tomorrow then? At eight?'
'It's a date!'
Wanda hugs Kurt and walks into the Brotherhood house. Standing inside is an incredulous looking Pietro.
'And-where-have-you-been?' he asks.
'That's none of you business.' Wanda sighs, back to her usual pissed-off self.
Pietro looks out the window and sees Kurt walking away from the house.
'You've-been-out-with-that-X-Geek-Kurt-haven't-you? Don't-you-realise-that- he's-the-enemy?'
Wanda just sighs and walks into the kitchen.
'Don't-walk-away-when-I'm-talking-to-you-Wanda! While-you're-under-my-house- you'll-live-by-my-rules-comprendez?'
As if in answer, a nearby book lights up with a blue glow and flies across the room, hitting Pietro upside the head.
'Nobody-loves-me!' Pietro sniffs.
END!
Part 9: The Witch, The Cat, The Toad and the Demon
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men, Marvel does. Damn them!
Shout Outs-
Risty- Didn't like the Todd/Felicia fluff? Pity. More B-Hood fun up next!
Dark Jaded Rose- Liked the fluff huh? I don't think you're kinky, not much anyway!
Caliente- At least you liked the Todd/Felicia fluff! Who's gonna help out Wanda with the spying? Rahne? Nope! Rogue? Good guess but no! You'll have to wait and find out won't you?
Bleedingdemon89- Oh great an Orlando Bloom fangirl! 0_ou Not that there's anything wrong with liking him. I thought he was good in 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Rock on yourself my Fanfic uh... sister! Heh!
Quote of the day- 'You aren't as stupid as you look. The again, you look like a retard!'
For
Dark Jaded Rose
Get well soon luv!
^_~
Wanda is walking down the street. Unsurprisingly she isn't in the best of moods. The other passers-by on the sidewalk give her a wide berth. Those that don't know that she's Mutant, know her reputation for having a permanently moody disposition.
'I can't believe Toad chose that peroxide slut over me!' She mopes to herself. 'I'm the most powerful Mutant in that crap hole of a house and he chooses her!'
Several street lamps flicker as she walks past. People step out of her way, not wanting to get involved.
'This is insane!' Wanda continues. 'I can't have feelings for that insect! He smells, he eats flies and... he has the most amazing smile! ACK! Get a grip of yourself woman!'
She then slumps down on a nearby bench, slumping her head onto her hands.
'If only there was some way that I could spy on them. I'll need an accomplice though. But who? Rogue? No. Pietro? Pff! No way! Fred? No again! Too conspicuous!'
She then looks across the street and notices a familiar looking guy with floppy hair.
'I've got it! It's such a perfect choice! He hates Toad!'
Across the street, the fuzzy blue teleporter known as Nightcrawler (or Kurt Wagner to his friends) is walking along the street (covered up by his image inducer of course), perfectly unaware of what approaches. He yelps as a hand pulls him into a nearby alley. It's Wanda!
'Eep! Ze Scarlet Witch!' Kurt squeaks.
'Glad you remembered!' Wanda answers. 'Don't try teleporting away. I'm using my hex powers to screw up your powers!'
'Okay.' Kurt sighs. 'Vhat do you vant with me?'
'I want you to go on a date with me.' Wanda says matter-of-factly.
Kurt looks at her with an incredulous expression.
'You can't be serious! You vant to go on a date vith me? Pull ze other vun!' He then bursts out laughing. 'HAHAHA!! I never knew you had such a sense of humour! You should have your own show!' He then stops as he sees that Wanda isn't joking at all. 'Mein Gott! You're serious!'
***
Todd and Felicia walk into a swanky looking restaurant. Todd turns to Felicia with a nervous look on his face.
'I don't know about this, yo. This place is kinda exclusive don'cha think?
Felicia just smiles and pats Todd's cheek.
'Toddy, Toddy, Toddy. Panic not my hoppy little stud muffin! You'll be fine!'
Todd just shrugs and follows Felicia over to the Maitre D'.
'Ah Mizz Hardy.' The snooty French guy says. 'It eez a pleazure to zee you again. Please follow zis way!'
Todd raises a brow.
'You come here often?'
'I'm a rich-bitch!' Felicia smirks. 'It's my curse I suppose.'
After they have sat down, the Maitre D' offers them the wine list.
'Vould you like to see ze wine leest?'
'No thanks Jacque.' Felicia answers. 'We'll just have my usual.'
'Ze Chateau Derriere. Magnificent choice!'
He walks off, leaving them alone.
'You decided what you want yet Toddy?' Felicia asks.
'I dunno yet 'Licia.' He answers. 'This is all in French!'
'Just have what I'm having. You'll like it. It's fish.'
'Jeez!' Todd smirks. 'You're taking this 'Black Cat' thing a little too far ain'cha?'
'What were you expecting?' Felicia smirks back. 'A bowl of milk and lots of cat puns? Were not in the old Batman TV series y'know!'
The Maitre D' walks back up with their wine.
'Are you ready to order yet Mizz?'
Felicia orders her meal and for Todd too. The Maitre D' walks off again, once again leaving them alone. Felicia pours them some wine. Todd takes a sip.
'Mmm! This is good! I can smell raspberries, almonds and grass cuttings.'
'Uh, Todd.' Felicia says. 'It's wine. It doesn't have all that crap in. it's made from grapes!'
'I knew that, yo!'
Unseen by the two of them, Wanda and a reluctant Kurt walk in. The maitre D' stops them, telling them that they can't come in, as they are full. Wanda glares, making the lights flicker menacingly. The Maitre D' thinks better and shows them to a table.
'I'm gonna die!' Kurt winces to himself.
Wanda sits down and looks over at Todd and Felicia.
'Is zat ze girl zat Todd's going out vith?'
'Yes.' Wanda hisses, not even turning around.
'She's nice.'
Wanda spins around and glares at Kurt.
'In a totally slutty vay!' Kurt corrects himself.
A waiter comes up for their order.
'I'll just have soup.' Wanda tells him.
'And what about sir?'
'He'll be having soup too!' Wanda says, before Kurt can open his mouth.
The waiter then leaves them to it. Kurt decides to break the awkward silence first.
'Zis place is nice.'
'I suppose.' Wanda says, still looking over at Todd and Felicia.
'So vhy did you vant me here?'
'I need to spy on Todd and his slut.'
'And you didn't vant to seem like a stalker? Vhy did you choose me?'
'Because you hate Todd too, right?'
'Hate is such a strong word.'
Over at Todd and Felicia's table, Felicia looks over at the other two.
'Hey, isn't that Wanda?' She asks.
Todd follows her gaze.
Wanda notices this and turns to Kurt.
'Quick!' she says. 'Kiss me!'
Before Kurt can say anything, however, she grabs him by the collar and plants a smacker on his lips.
'Nah!' Todd says. 'That can't be Wanda! She'd never do that!'
Later-
Todd and Felicia gather up their things and prepare to leave.
'That was a wonderful night 'Licia.' Todd says, kissing her. 'You take me to the best places.'
'You'll have to take me out to your best eating spot next!' She tells him.
'The stinky pond it is then!'
'You're kidding right?' Felicia asks. 'Right?'
Over by Wanda and Kurt's table, they get up and leave too.
'Uh about zat kiss.' Kurt mumbles.
'Don't read anything into it.' Wanda tells him. 'It was an emergency precaution.'
'Oh!'
'Come on! They're leaving!'
Wanda grabs Kurt by the hand and drags him outside. They follow a couple of steps behind Todd and Felicia.
'Todd.' Felicia says. 'I think we've got ourselves a couple of stalkers!'
Todd looks behind them and sees Wanda and Kurt.
'Hey, you're right, yo! It is Wanda! Hey Wanda! Come an' join us!'
Wanda cringes in embarrassment and in a last ditch effort to do something, she grabs Kurt and kisses him again.
'Whoa!' Todd gasps. 'I didn't know that Wanda could kiss like that! And to an X-Man too!'
'Let's; leave the two love birds alone shall we?' Felicia smirks.
Wanda finally lets Kurt up for air and lets him go. Kurt swoons a little with a goofy smile on his face. 'Vas zat an emergency precaution too?'
'Shut up!'
Later-
Wanda and Kurt are standing outside the Brotherhood place. There is another awkward silence between the two as neither of them can decide how to end the 'date.'
'So.' Wanda says. 'This is my stop.'
'Uh-huh.'
'I would invite you in but, y'know, I don't like you, and stuff.'
'I understand.' Kurt sighs. He then steps forward and kisses Wanda gently on the cheek and walks off. 'Be seeing ya!'
Instead of hexing the socks off him, like she normally would, Wanda puts her hand on her cheek in amazement.
'Nobody's ever kissed me before!' She gasps. 'Face it Wanda.' A voice says inside her head. 'You dig the fuzzy man!'
'No I don't!'
'You do too!'
'Well, maybe a little!'
Wanda then runs down the path and yells after him.
'Kurt! Wait!'
Kurt turns around and looks in amazement and Wanda runs up to him and takes his hand.
'Vhat is it now?' He sighs.
'Thankyou.' Wanda says before kissing him.
Kurt's eyes pop open in amazement at another kiss, this time real!
'Vhat vas zat for?'
'Didn't you like it?'
'It vasn't that it... just surprised me is all!'
'You mean good surprised right?'
'Ja!'
'Good! I'll see you tomorrow then? At eight?'
'It's a date!'
Wanda hugs Kurt and walks into the Brotherhood house. Standing inside is an incredulous looking Pietro.
'And-where-have-you-been?' he asks.
'That's none of you business.' Wanda sighs, back to her usual pissed-off self.
Pietro looks out the window and sees Kurt walking away from the house.
'You've-been-out-with-that-X-Geek-Kurt-haven't-you? Don't-you-realise-that- he's-the-enemy?'
Wanda just sighs and walks into the kitchen.
'Don't-walk-away-when-I'm-talking-to-you-Wanda! While-you're-under-my-house- you'll-live-by-my-rules-comprendez?'
As if in answer, a nearby book lights up with a blue glow and flies across the room, hitting Pietro upside the head.
'Nobody-loves-me!' Pietro sniffs.
END!