Emblem Wars: A New Game
Chapter 2: Useless Staves
On orders from Dark Lord Ephidel, Black Fang troops scoured the entire ship for any sign of the plans. They looked everywhere. In the bridge, the ships computers, the cargo bay, and finally, the ship's maintenance passages. Princess Priscilla was running out of places to hide.
Right now, a squad of soldiers were patrolling the narrow and confining passageways.
"Okay, lets move in. Soldier 1, you're up front."
"What? Why me?"
"Because you've got the number one in your name, which means you go first."
"I hate my parents."
The soldiers slowly walked up the hall, weapons raised. Priscilla searched frantically for a weapon.
"Lets see... Cure stave, Teleport stave, Beserk staff, Sleep stave, Torch staff... agh! They're all staves! They're useless!"
"Hey! I think I heard something!"
Soldier 1 quickly ran toward the noise, and was rewarded with a stave smacking into his skull.
"Agh! Man down! Man down!"
"We're under attack!"
As rest of the soldiers dove for cover, Priscilla took the chance and started running. Soldier 1 continued rolling on the floor in pain."
"Are you okay, soldier?"
Soldier 1 slowly got up, rubbing his head.
"Owwww... that hurt! And I think it's bleeding!"
Soldier 1 looked down at his hand.
"Wait... actually... nevermiind. But that still hurt!"
There was a clanking sound a quick shriek.
"Stupid precariously placed heavy metal object!"
The soldiers whipped around to see Priscilla running off. The leader spoke up.
"Hurry men, we have to get her! Set your arrows to stun!"
The other eleven soldiers stared at him stupidly.
"Uhhh, what did you say, sir?"
"Nevermind, that just sounded cool. Lets get her with that new Sleep stave we got!"
"Are you sure you know how to work that, sir?"
"Sure! I mean, how hard can it be?"
The leader started waving the stave around, but nothing happened.
"Uh, maybe you should-"
"Screw this stupid thing! Staves suck!"
The leader threw the stave away in rage, which flew down the hall and struck Priscilla in the back of the head, knocking her out. All of the soldiers, including the leader, stared in disbelief.
"How did you do that sir?!"
"I'm just that good."
The soldiers quickly grabbed the unconscious princess and dragged her away.
Meanwhile, on the nearby planet of Nabata, a lone escape pod lay jutting out of the endless desert landscape. A pair of footprints leading away from the pod could be seen, and with them, two morphs.
"I told you we should've turned left at the asteroid, Nils, but nooooo, you had to turn right, and land us in the middle of nowhere with no civilization for hundreds of miles! What the heck are you thinking!?!?"
"Shutup Kent, I have to go somewhere first!"
"And... why do you have to do that?"
"Because the pretty lady told me to!"
"Oh, so the pretty lady told you to strand us in the middle of this god-forsaken desert so we could all DIE?!?!?"
"Yes."
"What?!!?"
"It's a JOKE, Kent. I was pretty sure you would be able to see through it."
"This is no time for humor, Nils! This is a very dire situation!"
"Maybe you should talk less and walk more, you're so slow!"
"FINE! You go this way, and I'll go THAT way! When I find civilizations, I'll be sure to leave your miserable little corpse out here for the vultures!"
"Whatever, man."
Both morphs then split up and stormed off into the distance.
Back to space, the captured Priscilla was taken to Black Fangs secret weapons, the Dragon Star. She was to be interrogated for information there, but being stuck with a pair of the dumbest guards ever was torture enough.
"Hey, Erky!, I've been thinking."
"I seriously doubt THAT happens."
The pink haired guard seemed to be totally oblivious to the barb aimed at her.
"Why did they call this thing a Dragon STAR? Why not a Dragon Moon or a Dragon Planet? Why a Dragon STAR?"
Erk shook his head and muttered to himself.
"I should've just stayed home today..."
"And also-"
"Shutup."
"But-"
"Shutup."
"Can-"
"Zip it!."
"Well-"
"No!"
"Maybe-"
"SHUTUP!"
"Stop being so mean, Erky! I just wanted to talk!"
"DON'T YOU DO THAT ENOUGH ALREADY!?!?"
Priscilla huddled to the farthest corner of her cell and started hitting her head against the wall in an attempt to knock herself out. This was one of the few times she wished she had a Sleep staff on hand.
Several agonizing hours later, their ship FINALLY reached the Dragon Star.
"FINALLY!"
As they boarded the massive space station, they were met by Grand Moff Desmond, one of the most ruthless and unforgiving men in all of Elibe.
"So, the prisoner is finally here?"
"SHUTUP!"
Desmond gave a hateful glare to Erk.
"Just WHAT did you say to me?
"Uhhh, sorry sir, it was reflex!"
"Just what the heck are you talking about!"
Suddenly, Serra passed by, throwing off words so fast, that all of her sentences were jumbled together into inane jargon.
"Uhhh, I see. You are dismissed."
The purple-haired guard nodded and ran off. Desmond ordered Serra off to the garbate disposal. With any luck, she would wander into the incinerators, or better yet, the trash compactors or something. That would do everybody on this station a favor. Desmond finally remembered why he was here, cleared his throat, and turned to face Priscilla.
"Ah! Princess Priscilla, what and honor to see you!"
"Umm, I don't think we've met."
"Well-"
"Oh wait, now I remember. I recognize that stench anywhere, its you, isn't it Desmond? You should really take a bath or something, or at least get some deodorant."
Desmond grumbled several words under his breath before he continued.
"Okay Princess, we just want to know where you are hiding the plans for this space station-"
"No, asking me very nicely isn't going to get them for you, so don't even try."
"We have ways of making you talk!"
"If you've got anything worse than having to sit in a confined space with that pink-haired terror for five hours, I'd like to see it!"
"Haha, you just got owned, Desmond!"
"Shutup, Ephidel! Nobody asked you!"