The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man
Part 16: Mister Sandman
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
Witch-Uk- I like Kurt/Wanda too! It's also canon, kinda! More fluff with fuzzy and the witch coming right up!
Anon(girl)- Aw, you lost Pyro! Not to worry, have a substitute! * Gives her teddy bear dressed in Pyro suit * Better? At least you got rid of the Dudes! Pietro torture is always cool; you've got to have someone to pick on, haven't you?
Jaguar- Good point! I should have had Todd and Felicia meet in Manhattan.
Risty- Not a fan of Tabitha then? I'm not going to comment any more on the Ultimate Pietro/Wanda incest thing any more cuz it freaks me out! * Shivers in disgust * Are Todd and Felicia Wanda's familiars? Hmm, I didn't really think of it like that, good job!
Agent-G- Liked the Doc Ock/Felicia/Todd fight, huh? I hope you like this chapter! And anyway, Sandman's never actually been well known for his intelligence has he?
Dark Jaded Rose- Yeah I know, poor Todd! But at least he had Felicia to act as his nursemaid!
***
Quote of the day- 'I have a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!'- Edmund Blackadder
***
Xavier's: Saturday morning-
Kurt, Rahne and Peter are sat in the rec room of the Institute. It the beginning of a long and boring weekend. Kurt is sat upside down on the sofa, counting how many tiles there are on the ceiling while Rahne and Peter play 'I-Spy.'
'I spy with my little eye...' Peter says. 'Something beginning with... K!'
'Kurt.' Rahne sighs.
'Damn!' Peter curses. 'You got it again! Your go!'
'This is a stupid game!' Rahne yawns. 'Isnae there anything else that we can do?'
'Ve could vatch TV.' Kurt says.
Rahne and Peter shake their heads.
'Nothing good on.' Rahne replies.
'We could go down to Bayville Park.' Peter adds.
'Boring!' Kurt yawns.
'I know what we could do!' Rahne says. 'We could go to the beach!'
'Yeah!' Peter agrees. 'Let's go to the beach! Whatta ya say Kurt?'
'Ze beach sounds fun.' Kurt replies. 'I'll just phone up Vanda and see if she vants to come!'
***
Later-
While Kurt calls Wanda, Rahne and peter go to see if anybody else wants to go with them.
'What aboot Sam and MJ?' Rahne asks.
'I think Miss Monroe took them to go see Sam's family in Kentucky.' (1) Peter replies.
'Oh aye!' Rahne replies. 'They said something aboot recruitin' Sam's sister!'
'What about Tabby and Roberto?' Peter asks.
'They went along with them.' Rahne answers.
'What about Kitty?'
'I think she's out somewhere with Matt.' (2) Rahne replies.
'And that only leaves Amara, Bobby, Jubilee, Ray, Rogue, Scott and Jean.' Peter says.
'Amara's out shopping with Bobby and Jubes.' Rahne answers. 'God knows where Ray is and I think that Rogue's gone out with that Cajun guy I think that Scott and jean have gone tae the city wi' Mister McCoy!'
'I suppose that we'd better go ask Felicia and Todd if they want to come with us.' Peter sighs.
***
Outside the Brotherhood Boarding House: Later-
Scott's car, driven by Kurt, pulls up outside the Brotherhood boarding house. Kurt stops the car and hops out. He runs up to the door and knocks. Todd answers.
'What can I do for ya, yo?' Todd asks.
'Is Vanda in?' Kurt asks. 'I'm here to pick her up to go to ze beach. Do you and Felicia wanna come?'
'I'm afraid we can't, yo.' Todd replies. 'We're goin' to a date in the city.' (3)
'That's funny.' A voice says behind him. 'The old you would've jumped at the chance to catch a glance at me skimpily dressed!'
Kurt and Todd both turn and watch as Wanda walks down the stairs. She has a black two-piece on, sandals and a wrap around her waist. She also has a pair of sunglasses perched atop her head.
'You know that I've only got eyes for 'Licia, Wanda!' Todd replies.
'You look nice Vanda.' Kurt says, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. 'Are you ready to go?'
'I've got my bucket and spade all prepared!' Wanda replies.
'Seeya later, yo!' Todd says as they walk back to the car. 'Watch out you don't get crabs!'
***
The beach-
Kurt and co pull up in the beach's parking lot. They stop and one by one they get out and remove all the gear from the trunk. Kurt (disguised by his holo-watch) carries the cooler full of drinks; Rahne and Wanda carry the towels and spare clothes while peter carries the giant inflatable banana (!)
'I don't know why ye brought that thing!' Rahne sighs.
'What?' Peter replies. 'It's a giant inflatable banana, it's funny!'
Rahne just rolls her eyes and tries to find a vacant spot on the beach. Once she has, everybody puts down their stuff and gets changed into their swimming gear. Kurt and Peter already had their shorts on, along with their shirts so they just dump their shirts in the bags. Rahne and Wanda, however, had more clothes so they went into the restrooms to get changed.
Kurt watches his girlfriend walk out of the restroom with her clothes slung over her shoulder. His heart almost stops as he sees what she is wearing. The black bikini top isn't too bad, but it's the bottom half that amazes him the most, all it consists of is a small piece of material tied together. Wanda pulls out her wedgie and sits down beside Kurt.
'How do you like it Kurt?' She asks. 'I went out shopping with Crystal yesterday and brought it especially!'
Kurt just nods politely and leans back to try and get a better look at her backside. Wanda doesn't notice as she begins to put suntan oil on herself.
Rahne turns to Peter with another bottle of suntan oil in her hands.
'Will ye give us a hand wi' this please Peter?' She asks.
'No problem!' Peter replies as he takes the bottle from her and begins rubbing it into her back. Kurt follows suit and rubs some on Wanda's back.
'Mmmm that's nice!' Wanda murmurs. 'Oh yes, that's great! Ooooh, take me now!'
Peter, Kurt and Rahne stop what they're doing at once and look at Wanda incredulously.
'Or not.' She blushes.
***
Later still-
Kurt is lying on his back catching some rays while Rahne and Peter splash about in the sea. Wanda meanwhile, is over at the refreshments van, buying some ice cream.
Kurt jumps from his seat as he hears screaming coming from further down the beach. He sets off running to find out what the commotion is. Much to his amazement, it seems that a man, made entirely out of sand is smashing up the beach.
'So much for a quite trip to the beach!' He sighs.
Rahne and Peter run up beside him.
'Aren't ye going tae do anything aboot it?' Rahne asks.
'I'm thinking.' Kurt replies.
'HEY SANDY!' Peter yells. 'HEADS UP!'
Peter throws a glob of webbing at they guy. Unfortunately, is passes straight through him. Sandman turns around and laughs at them.
'Is that the best you got?' he taunts. 'You can't hurt a guy that's made out of sand!'
'Zat's vhat you think!' Kurt replies. He BAMFs overt o the Sandman and attempts to pummel him with punches. As his hand strike Sandman's chest, Kurt pulls it back with a yelp.
'Nice trick, right?' Sandman grins. 'How do ya like this?'
Sandman turns his hand into a stone mace and clubs Kurt over the head.
'Leave him alone ye Spaleen!' Rahne yells. 'He didnae do anything tae hurt ye!'
'And what're you gonna do girly?' Sandman grins. 'Hit me with yer Barbie?'
Rahne growls angrily and leaps at him. Sandman is momentarily stunned at the sighs of a werewolf leaping towards him but he soon gathers his thought together as he grabs Rahne and buries her neck deep in sand.
'Anybody else that wants to be a hero?
In answer, Peter swings forward and tries to knock him out with a mighty dropkick. But to no avail, he passes straight through Sandman and lands on his butt.
'What is this?' Sandman asks. 'Amateur hero hour?'
'Amateur yourself!' Peter yells as he throws yet more webbing at him. Fortunately enough, the webbing gunks up Sandman's eyes, eliciting a yell of anger from the villain.
'I swear, once I get this crap off me, I'm gonna kick your ass!'
'Tutut!' Peter says. 'Language Sandy, there are women and children present!'
Sandman finally rips the webbing away from his eyes and continues fighting. He attempts to extend his arms and grab peter but he ducks out the way. Sandman then tries to create another stone mace with his hand. He tries to pummel Peter with it, but to no avail! Then, finally, he slams his fists into the ground, causing a tidal wave of sand to engulf Peter.
'These chumps're too easy!' Sandman mutters.
***
Meanwhile-
Wanda walks up to their previous spot and looks around for the others.
'Huh, I wonder where they went off to?'
When she doesn't see any of them in the immediate vicinity, she sets off to look for them.
When she gets to the stretch of the beach where the others had their fight with Sandman, she runs up to help them. She pulls Rahne out of her sandpit. She then turns to Kurt.
'Kurt, are you alright?'
'Ja, danke, Liebe.' Kurt replies. 'But zis sand is going to be murder to get out of my fur!'
Wanda turns and looks as Rahne digs Peter out of his pit.
'You guys stay here and rest.' Wanda tells them. 'I'm going after this guy!'
'Be careful Liebe!' Kurt tells her.
Wanda bends down and kisses Kurt. She looks back at him with a smile.
'When am I not careful?'
She then sets off to find Sandman. It doesn't take to long for her to find him smashing up yet another stretch of beach. Wanda throws a hexbolt at him, blowing up a nearby garbage receptacle.
'What the Hell?' Sandman asks.
'That would be me!' Wanda replies.
'Get lost Chickie-Pie!' Sandman taunts. 'Leave this business to the men!'
Wanda just glares angrily and readies up another hex bolt. She throws it at him just as he tires to grab her with his gigantic fists. Wanda dives out the way.
'What was that?' Sandman asks. 'You missed me!'
'Oh did I?' Wanda replies. 'Maybe you'd better look at yourself!'
Sandman looks down at himself. Where his body joins the sand, there is a rapidly spreading sheet of glass, Wanda's hexbolt melted the sand and it's spreading towards him!
'Oh no!' Sandman yells. 'You won't get away that easily!'
Sandman tries to step forward but his feet have been turned into glass.
'Aw nuts! This isn't fair!' he moans, just as the glass starts to spread up his neck and onto his face. 'Noooo...' Then silence as he has been totally turned into glass.
Wanda turns as he hears the others run up to her.
'Vay to go Vanda!' Kurt says. 'You showed him who's boss!'
'You sure did!' Peter agrees.
'Aye!' Rahne adds.
***
Later-
Wanda, Kurt and co watch as Nick Fury and several SHIELD agents turn up to cart the frozen Sandman away.
'Nice work you kids did today.' Fury says. 'If you catch any more of these guys, I'll soon be out of a job!'
'Actually Mister Fury.' Rahne adds. 'It was Wanda that did all th' work!'
'Is this true?' Fury asks.
'Uh-huh.' Wanda replies.
'You ever thought of becoming an Avenger?'
'Pff, yeah right!' Wanda snorts. 'Like I want to join those losers, my brother's already dating one and I think that's enough!'
'Suit yourself.' Fury sighs. 'Cart him away boys!'
With that, Fury gets into his SHIELD armoured carrier and drives off.
Wanda turns to the others.
'Join the Avengers, my ass!' Wanda snorts in derision.
'Vhat's up viz ze Avengers?' Kurt asks. 'I thought you had a crush on Hawkeye!'
Wanda just rolls her eyes and walks off. Kurt is about to follow but he gets a puff of sand upside the head, courtesy of his girlfriend.
'Oh ja, very mature Vanda!'
END...
NOTES-
(1)- Watch out for 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!' coming soon!
(2)- See 'Kitty and the Devil: My Ex-Girlfriend is an Avenger' for details (COMING SOON!)
(3)- See 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Gone Avengerin' for details (also coming soon!)
NEXT: Sam takes MJ home to meet the family in: 'Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!'
Part 16: Mister Sandman
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
Witch-Uk- I like Kurt/Wanda too! It's also canon, kinda! More fluff with fuzzy and the witch coming right up!
Anon(girl)- Aw, you lost Pyro! Not to worry, have a substitute! * Gives her teddy bear dressed in Pyro suit * Better? At least you got rid of the Dudes! Pietro torture is always cool; you've got to have someone to pick on, haven't you?
Jaguar- Good point! I should have had Todd and Felicia meet in Manhattan.
Risty- Not a fan of Tabitha then? I'm not going to comment any more on the Ultimate Pietro/Wanda incest thing any more cuz it freaks me out! * Shivers in disgust * Are Todd and Felicia Wanda's familiars? Hmm, I didn't really think of it like that, good job!
Agent-G- Liked the Doc Ock/Felicia/Todd fight, huh? I hope you like this chapter! And anyway, Sandman's never actually been well known for his intelligence has he?
Dark Jaded Rose- Yeah I know, poor Todd! But at least he had Felicia to act as his nursemaid!
***
Quote of the day- 'I have a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!'- Edmund Blackadder
***
Xavier's: Saturday morning-
Kurt, Rahne and Peter are sat in the rec room of the Institute. It the beginning of a long and boring weekend. Kurt is sat upside down on the sofa, counting how many tiles there are on the ceiling while Rahne and Peter play 'I-Spy.'
'I spy with my little eye...' Peter says. 'Something beginning with... K!'
'Kurt.' Rahne sighs.
'Damn!' Peter curses. 'You got it again! Your go!'
'This is a stupid game!' Rahne yawns. 'Isnae there anything else that we can do?'
'Ve could vatch TV.' Kurt says.
Rahne and Peter shake their heads.
'Nothing good on.' Rahne replies.
'We could go down to Bayville Park.' Peter adds.
'Boring!' Kurt yawns.
'I know what we could do!' Rahne says. 'We could go to the beach!'
'Yeah!' Peter agrees. 'Let's go to the beach! Whatta ya say Kurt?'
'Ze beach sounds fun.' Kurt replies. 'I'll just phone up Vanda and see if she vants to come!'
***
Later-
While Kurt calls Wanda, Rahne and peter go to see if anybody else wants to go with them.
'What aboot Sam and MJ?' Rahne asks.
'I think Miss Monroe took them to go see Sam's family in Kentucky.' (1) Peter replies.
'Oh aye!' Rahne replies. 'They said something aboot recruitin' Sam's sister!'
'What about Tabby and Roberto?' Peter asks.
'They went along with them.' Rahne answers.
'What about Kitty?'
'I think she's out somewhere with Matt.' (2) Rahne replies.
'And that only leaves Amara, Bobby, Jubilee, Ray, Rogue, Scott and Jean.' Peter says.
'Amara's out shopping with Bobby and Jubes.' Rahne answers. 'God knows where Ray is and I think that Rogue's gone out with that Cajun guy I think that Scott and jean have gone tae the city wi' Mister McCoy!'
'I suppose that we'd better go ask Felicia and Todd if they want to come with us.' Peter sighs.
***
Outside the Brotherhood Boarding House: Later-
Scott's car, driven by Kurt, pulls up outside the Brotherhood boarding house. Kurt stops the car and hops out. He runs up to the door and knocks. Todd answers.
'What can I do for ya, yo?' Todd asks.
'Is Vanda in?' Kurt asks. 'I'm here to pick her up to go to ze beach. Do you and Felicia wanna come?'
'I'm afraid we can't, yo.' Todd replies. 'We're goin' to a date in the city.' (3)
'That's funny.' A voice says behind him. 'The old you would've jumped at the chance to catch a glance at me skimpily dressed!'
Kurt and Todd both turn and watch as Wanda walks down the stairs. She has a black two-piece on, sandals and a wrap around her waist. She also has a pair of sunglasses perched atop her head.
'You know that I've only got eyes for 'Licia, Wanda!' Todd replies.
'You look nice Vanda.' Kurt says, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. 'Are you ready to go?'
'I've got my bucket and spade all prepared!' Wanda replies.
'Seeya later, yo!' Todd says as they walk back to the car. 'Watch out you don't get crabs!'
***
The beach-
Kurt and co pull up in the beach's parking lot. They stop and one by one they get out and remove all the gear from the trunk. Kurt (disguised by his holo-watch) carries the cooler full of drinks; Rahne and Wanda carry the towels and spare clothes while peter carries the giant inflatable banana (!)
'I don't know why ye brought that thing!' Rahne sighs.
'What?' Peter replies. 'It's a giant inflatable banana, it's funny!'
Rahne just rolls her eyes and tries to find a vacant spot on the beach. Once she has, everybody puts down their stuff and gets changed into their swimming gear. Kurt and Peter already had their shorts on, along with their shirts so they just dump their shirts in the bags. Rahne and Wanda, however, had more clothes so they went into the restrooms to get changed.
Kurt watches his girlfriend walk out of the restroom with her clothes slung over her shoulder. His heart almost stops as he sees what she is wearing. The black bikini top isn't too bad, but it's the bottom half that amazes him the most, all it consists of is a small piece of material tied together. Wanda pulls out her wedgie and sits down beside Kurt.
'How do you like it Kurt?' She asks. 'I went out shopping with Crystal yesterday and brought it especially!'
Kurt just nods politely and leans back to try and get a better look at her backside. Wanda doesn't notice as she begins to put suntan oil on herself.
Rahne turns to Peter with another bottle of suntan oil in her hands.
'Will ye give us a hand wi' this please Peter?' She asks.
'No problem!' Peter replies as he takes the bottle from her and begins rubbing it into her back. Kurt follows suit and rubs some on Wanda's back.
'Mmmm that's nice!' Wanda murmurs. 'Oh yes, that's great! Ooooh, take me now!'
Peter, Kurt and Rahne stop what they're doing at once and look at Wanda incredulously.
'Or not.' She blushes.
***
Later still-
Kurt is lying on his back catching some rays while Rahne and Peter splash about in the sea. Wanda meanwhile, is over at the refreshments van, buying some ice cream.
Kurt jumps from his seat as he hears screaming coming from further down the beach. He sets off running to find out what the commotion is. Much to his amazement, it seems that a man, made entirely out of sand is smashing up the beach.
'So much for a quite trip to the beach!' He sighs.
Rahne and Peter run up beside him.
'Aren't ye going tae do anything aboot it?' Rahne asks.
'I'm thinking.' Kurt replies.
'HEY SANDY!' Peter yells. 'HEADS UP!'
Peter throws a glob of webbing at they guy. Unfortunately, is passes straight through him. Sandman turns around and laughs at them.
'Is that the best you got?' he taunts. 'You can't hurt a guy that's made out of sand!'
'Zat's vhat you think!' Kurt replies. He BAMFs overt o the Sandman and attempts to pummel him with punches. As his hand strike Sandman's chest, Kurt pulls it back with a yelp.
'Nice trick, right?' Sandman grins. 'How do ya like this?'
Sandman turns his hand into a stone mace and clubs Kurt over the head.
'Leave him alone ye Spaleen!' Rahne yells. 'He didnae do anything tae hurt ye!'
'And what're you gonna do girly?' Sandman grins. 'Hit me with yer Barbie?'
Rahne growls angrily and leaps at him. Sandman is momentarily stunned at the sighs of a werewolf leaping towards him but he soon gathers his thought together as he grabs Rahne and buries her neck deep in sand.
'Anybody else that wants to be a hero?
In answer, Peter swings forward and tries to knock him out with a mighty dropkick. But to no avail, he passes straight through Sandman and lands on his butt.
'What is this?' Sandman asks. 'Amateur hero hour?'
'Amateur yourself!' Peter yells as he throws yet more webbing at him. Fortunately enough, the webbing gunks up Sandman's eyes, eliciting a yell of anger from the villain.
'I swear, once I get this crap off me, I'm gonna kick your ass!'
'Tutut!' Peter says. 'Language Sandy, there are women and children present!'
Sandman finally rips the webbing away from his eyes and continues fighting. He attempts to extend his arms and grab peter but he ducks out the way. Sandman then tries to create another stone mace with his hand. He tries to pummel Peter with it, but to no avail! Then, finally, he slams his fists into the ground, causing a tidal wave of sand to engulf Peter.
'These chumps're too easy!' Sandman mutters.
***
Meanwhile-
Wanda walks up to their previous spot and looks around for the others.
'Huh, I wonder where they went off to?'
When she doesn't see any of them in the immediate vicinity, she sets off to look for them.
When she gets to the stretch of the beach where the others had their fight with Sandman, she runs up to help them. She pulls Rahne out of her sandpit. She then turns to Kurt.
'Kurt, are you alright?'
'Ja, danke, Liebe.' Kurt replies. 'But zis sand is going to be murder to get out of my fur!'
Wanda turns and looks as Rahne digs Peter out of his pit.
'You guys stay here and rest.' Wanda tells them. 'I'm going after this guy!'
'Be careful Liebe!' Kurt tells her.
Wanda bends down and kisses Kurt. She looks back at him with a smile.
'When am I not careful?'
She then sets off to find Sandman. It doesn't take to long for her to find him smashing up yet another stretch of beach. Wanda throws a hexbolt at him, blowing up a nearby garbage receptacle.
'What the Hell?' Sandman asks.
'That would be me!' Wanda replies.
'Get lost Chickie-Pie!' Sandman taunts. 'Leave this business to the men!'
Wanda just glares angrily and readies up another hex bolt. She throws it at him just as he tires to grab her with his gigantic fists. Wanda dives out the way.
'What was that?' Sandman asks. 'You missed me!'
'Oh did I?' Wanda replies. 'Maybe you'd better look at yourself!'
Sandman looks down at himself. Where his body joins the sand, there is a rapidly spreading sheet of glass, Wanda's hexbolt melted the sand and it's spreading towards him!
'Oh no!' Sandman yells. 'You won't get away that easily!'
Sandman tries to step forward but his feet have been turned into glass.
'Aw nuts! This isn't fair!' he moans, just as the glass starts to spread up his neck and onto his face. 'Noooo...' Then silence as he has been totally turned into glass.
Wanda turns as he hears the others run up to her.
'Vay to go Vanda!' Kurt says. 'You showed him who's boss!'
'You sure did!' Peter agrees.
'Aye!' Rahne adds.
***
Later-
Wanda, Kurt and co watch as Nick Fury and several SHIELD agents turn up to cart the frozen Sandman away.
'Nice work you kids did today.' Fury says. 'If you catch any more of these guys, I'll soon be out of a job!'
'Actually Mister Fury.' Rahne adds. 'It was Wanda that did all th' work!'
'Is this true?' Fury asks.
'Uh-huh.' Wanda replies.
'You ever thought of becoming an Avenger?'
'Pff, yeah right!' Wanda snorts. 'Like I want to join those losers, my brother's already dating one and I think that's enough!'
'Suit yourself.' Fury sighs. 'Cart him away boys!'
With that, Fury gets into his SHIELD armoured carrier and drives off.
Wanda turns to the others.
'Join the Avengers, my ass!' Wanda snorts in derision.
'Vhat's up viz ze Avengers?' Kurt asks. 'I thought you had a crush on Hawkeye!'
Wanda just rolls her eyes and walks off. Kurt is about to follow but he gets a puff of sand upside the head, courtesy of his girlfriend.
'Oh ja, very mature Vanda!'
END...
NOTES-
(1)- Watch out for 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!' coming soon!
(2)- See 'Kitty and the Devil: My Ex-Girlfriend is an Avenger' for details (COMING SOON!)
(3)- See 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Gone Avengerin' for details (also coming soon!)
NEXT: Sam takes MJ home to meet the family in: 'Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!'