Previously in False Starts: "What if something happens? I still need—I still want you as a friend, Luke," she confided in between quiet sobs.
"I will always be your friend, Lorelai." He said seriously, his brown eyes darkening.
8
"Luke?" She said after they had driven a few blocks. "You never asked when I knew."
"When?" He said simply, turning to glance at her.
Lorelai thought about it for a moment and realized she wasn't exactly sure. "There wasn't just one. After I broke my leg and you brought me food almost everyday, when you took me to the hospital when my dad was sick, when Rory started Chilton and that dad asked me out. I think you were a little jealous." Yeah, I think it's good that you turned him down.
"Maybe I was," he smiled shyly at her.
"When you made me the chuppah," she said quietly.
"Oh Lorelai," Luke replied.
As they sank onto the couch however, a tune belted from Lorelai's cell phone and Luke groaned, pulling away.
"Damn it," Lorelai breathed. Luke crossed to pick up her phone and his shirt. "Who is it?"
Luke frowned at the caller id. "It's Rory."
Part 10: Things Change
Lorelai looked at him open-mouthed before snatching the phone out of his hand. "Hello, Rory?"
"Mom?" Rory's voice sounded thin and too far away.
"It's late there."
"I know, but I just felt so awful. I've missed you. And I was going to call you when we got to London but we only stayed for a couple days and this is the first--"
"It's okay," Lorelai said simply, although it wasn't. "I'm just glad you called at all. How are things going?"
Rory sighed. "Oh mom, I wish you were here. Grandma knows something is going on but I just can't tell her." Lorelai bit her lip. "I need you," she whispered.
"You know you don't have to stay, sweetie. You are welcome home whenever you feel like it."
"Yeah," Rory sounded unsure. "I'm not having a completely horrible time. And I am sorting some things out." She sighed again. "I think I need this, mom. I need to figure this out on my own. If I was home--" She broke off, but Lorelai realized where the sentence had been headed. If I was home, you would want to fix everything for me. Lorelai felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She was a mother, she was supposed to fix things. Her daughter wasn't supposed to be aching like she was.
"I just hate to see you like this," she said quietly. "But if you need this to come back as the Rory I know, then that's fine. Take your time, sweetheart."
"Thanks Mom. How was the opening?"
Lorelai was barely holding herself together. "It went well." You weren't there to see it, she thought. "No major kinks."
"That's good. How's everything else?"
"Quiet."
"And Luke?"
Lorelai smiled in spite of herself. "He's good. He's here now actually." She almost told her daughter the events of the day, but she thought better of it. Hearing about either ex-boyfriend was probably not what she needed right now.
Rory sounded almost surprised at this admittance. "Oh, well that's great. I guess I'll let you go though."
Lorelai frowned. "Alright. Call again soon."
"I will, mom. Love you."
"Love you too. Bye." Lorelai pressed the end button and let the phone drop from her ear. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she made her way into the kitchen, where Luke looked up from the table, shocked.
"Aw, Lorelai," Luke got up and enveloped her in a hug, his fingers rubbing the back of her neck as she sniffled.
"I miss her," she sighed.
"I know, I know," Luke kissed her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
"God, I'm sorry I'm such a mess." She shook her head, wondering why she seemed to be so much more emotional with Luke. Maybe because she felt like she could let her guard down with him and she had only ever been able to do that with her daughter.
"It's okay," Luke whispered, squeezing her tight.
She drew back and kissed him. "Thank you."
"I made coffee."
"You're a mind reader." He handed her a mug. "But maybe we could forget about the coffee and get back to what we were doing before." Lorelai smiled shyly.
Luke raised an eyebrow. "Really? What was that exactly?"
Lorelai blushed and stared into her cup for a second. "You know—that thing you're so good at."
"Well I'm good at lots of things," he pretended to think.
"Luke!" He laughed and pulled her in for a kiss.
TWO MONTHS LATER
Lorelai bounded up the front porch steps after a short day at the inn. Things were still running smoothly there, no more horses in the living room, missing doors or unwanted guests. And things were going well with Luke too. They saw each other almost every night and tried to go to Hartford for a date on the weekends. Best of all, it was July and Rory would be home in a week. Lorelai had already started a list of activities they had to do before Rory headed back to school in a couple months. Flipping through the mail, Lorelai came across a cream colored envelope with fancy script on the front. She ripped it open and almost dropped her bag.
The parents of Sherry Tinsdale would like to announce her marriage to Christopher Hayden on August 27th this year of 2004.
Shit, she thought. Shit shit. She looked up at the clock and was able to process that Luke would be by soon. Damn it, everything was going so well. Since she had realized how long Luke had had feelings for her, she'd realized more and more how deep they really went.
Luke found her still frozen at the kitchen table. "I brought you pie." But instead of her typical greeting of a long kiss, he received a weak smile. "Lorelai, are you feeling okay?" Then he noticed it on the table, that stupid cream colored envelope. He slid the invitation towards himself and let out a sigh. "Lorelai," he broached again, sitting down and taking her hand between his. "Hey, you don't have to go. If you think--"
"I know," she smiled sadly again. She slipped her hand out of his and finally stood up. Luke watched her in amazement. He knew that look by now.
"God damn it," he groaned before following her into the living room. "Are you going to tell me what this is really about?" Lorelai continued to skirt him, picking up magazines lying around, a budget sheet for the inn. "Lorelai," Luke tried again.
"What do you want to hear Luke? That I'm still in love with Chris?"
Luke stood there, feeling like he had just been punched in the gut. "Are you?" He breathed heavily.
Lorelai shook her head and shrugged, not allowing Luke to see the tears in her eyes. "It's a little hard, Luke, knowing Rory's dad is getting married. It was bad enough to find out he was engaged and she was pregnant or that Sherry wanted to get to know my daughter." Luke didn't say anything for a minute. "Chris and I have always had this—Luke?"
"You didn't answer my question." Luke said quietly.
"We can't fight, Luke. Rory will be home this week. She'll be worried." Lorelai said calmly.
"I know! But there's a solution to that. You cutting this out or me not being around!" Luke bit back.
"I want you around, Luke." Lorelai said sadly.
"Why?"
Lorelai almost laughed. "Why? Do I really need to say?"
"At this point, I'm not too confident."
"If you don't know--"
"No, I don't, Lorelai and it's because you can't seem to tell me!"
"What are you talking about? I've--"
"I'm talking about things going along fine for a month and then an invitation, from the man you almost married, I might add, throws you for a loop. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that? I'm talking about hiding this from the town. It's been what? Almost three months? I'm starting to think I was wrong—maybe you needed time to get over Jason and I had just gotten divorced...."
"There was nothing to get over! Jason was a mistake--"
"He didn't seem to think so!" Luke's chest heaved. He had finally put it all on the line and nothing was turning out like he expected. "I know I'm not the first man in your life, Lorelai, but I thought I might be the last. Apparently I was wrong. Maybe we should spend some time apart so you can decide what you really want."
And with that he was gone, the front door slamming behind him. Lorelai managed to move stiffly to the couch and collapsed into sobs. A few minutes later, she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Rory?"