The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man
Part 23: Pinchy

By The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Pauloj1983- I'm sorry, no Paige/Jamie planned for future chapters I'm afraid.

AnthonyR- I'm glad you like it. Enjoy the chappie.

AnonGirl88- Cool name. I'm glad that Pyro gets potty breaks; it would get a little messy other wise wouldn't it?

Agent-G- I'm not going to tell who the sixth member of the Sinister Six is but I will give you a clue, he has already appeared in this fic. I beleive that the last time that the Scorpion appeared in the comics was in an issue of Peter Parker: Spider-Man.

The Brotherhood Boarding House-

Felicia is sitting in the kitchen discussing her wedding plans (again!) with Wanda, her maid of honour, Crystal and Typhoid Mary.

'Read me back the list again Wanda.' Felicia says. 'I just want to make sure that we've got everything correct.'

'We've gone through the list three times already.' Wanda groans. 'Can't you just take my word that everything is written down?'

'No.' Felicia replies matter-of-factly. 'We can slack off on the wedding plans when you get married, not on my special day!'

'You'd better watch your mouth Felicia.' Wanda says, the lightbulb above their head flickering dangerously showing her anger. 'Just because you're marrying Todd, it doesn't mean that I won't hex you for that.'

'You couldn't hex me if your life depended on it.' Felicia replies.

That's it; the lightbulb pops as Wanda tries to hex Felicia. Fortunately, Crystal is there to stop her from doing anything hasty.

'Calm down Wanda.' She says. 'Let's not go hexing the bride before she even gets to the ceremony.'

'I'm sorry.' Wanda sighs. 'It's just... all this talk of marriage is giving me a headache.'

'That's cool.' Felicia says. 'I suppose that I was a little hyper about the whole thing.'

'Why don't we all take a break?' Crystal asks. 'Get away from the wedding plans, y'know?'

'Sounds alright with me.' Felicia says. 'I'll go see what Todd's up to.'

'I'll just pop over to Xavier's to check up on Kurt and TJ.'

As the bride (no, not the sword-wielding one form Kill Bill) and maid of honour leave, that just leaves Crystal and Typhoid sitting at the table alone.

'I think that I'll go harass Lance.' Typhoid says, getting up from the table.

'You mean that you're going to go seduce him.' Crystal replies.

'Same thing as far as I'm concerned.' Typhoid shrugs.

Later-

Todd and Felicia are now sitting in a random café.

'So Toddy.' Felicia says. 'Any idea who your best man's gonna be?'

'I thought that this day out was supposed to be a break from all that talk of wedding stuff, Baby Cakes.' Todd replies.

'You haven't even decided yet have you?' Felicia sighs.

'I've managed to narrow it down to Lance, Fred and Pietro.'

'Are you sure it's wise to have Pietro as a best man?' Felicia asks. 'He'll only try to hit on one of the bridesmaids.'

'He'd still do that if he wasn't my best man, yo.' Todd replies.

'Point.' Felicia shrugs.

Felicia is about to take a sip of her coffee when she gets a tingling sensation on the back of her neck.

'Todd, get down!'

She grabs Todd and dives for cover, just as a car comes flying through the café window, smashing up half the café.

After the dust has steeled, Todd and Felicia peer out from behind an upturned table. They see a man in a green bodysuit with a large backpack and a tail. The tail snaps out and grabs another car and throws it across the street. The car lands on a fire hydrant, sending water shooting up into the air.

'Oh God, why him?' Felicia groans. 'Why now of all times?'

'D'you know this guy 'Licia?' Todd asks.

'I should think so.' Felicia replies. 'He's my ex-boyfriend!'

Outside-

The guy in the green suit, the Scorpion, is still smashing up random stuff. A police car pulls up and several police officers step out.

'Put the mail box down or we will be forced to shoot.'

'Okay.' The Scorpion replies. 'I'll put it down, how's this?'

The Scorpion whips his tail and throws the mailbox at the police officers. They manage to dive out of the way as the mailbox lands on their squad car, leaving a big meaty dent. The officers get up off the floor and open fire. The Scorpion just stands there and looks bored. He holds his hand upto his mouth and yawns. He whips his tail around once more and sends the police officers sailing into a brick wall. He is about to pick up a hotdog stand when he is hit in the eyes with some stinky green goo.

'Sunnuva...' He yells, dropping the hotdog stand. 'I'll get you for that, whoever threw this crap at me!'

'Not is we have anything to do with it!' Felicia replies, jumping down, now clad in her leather (ahem) catsuit, which she conveniently had stashed in her bag.

'Felicia?' The Scorpion says, wiping the last of the goo from his eyes. 'Is that you?'

'Yeah it's me, Mac.' Felicia replies.

'Felicia, baby doll.' The Scorpion says. 'I've been looking all over the place for you.'

'Too bad.' Felicia replies. 'I'm not going back with you.'

'WHAT?' The Scorpion yells. 'You have to come back with me! You're my girl!'

'I'm no-one's girl Mac.' Felicia replies. 'Least of all yours!'

'Pity.' The Scorpion sighs. 'Oh well, I suppose that I'll have to teach you the error of your ways.'

The Scorpion is about to whack Felicia with his tail when he feels somebody jump onto his back.

'What the Hell?'

'Hi.' Todd, now also clad in his B-Hood uniform, says. 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Get the Hell off me!' The Scorpion yells, trying to swipe Todd off his back. Todd leaps off his back, rebounds off the wall and kicks the Scorpion in the face.

'Don't tell me this mutie freak is your new boyfriend.' The Scorpion says. 'Jeez Felicia, talk about aiming low.'

'That isn't aiming low.' Felicia replies. 'This is!'

Todd winces as Felicia gives the Scorpion a meaty kick to the groin.

'That wasn't... nnn... fair dammit!' The Scorpion groans.

'Oh and Mac, he isn't my boyfriend, he's my fiancé!'

With the pain in his groin momentarily forgotten, the Scorpion bristles in anger.

'WHAT?'

'I said that he's my fiancé dumbass.' Felicia replies.

'B-but why, he's...'

'Got a nine-inch tongue.' Felicia finishes. 'Need I say more?'

The Scorpion lets out a roar of anger and smashes up a nearby car.

'Now there wasn't any need for that, was there, yo?' Todd asks. 'What did that poor defenceless car ever do to you?'

'SHUT UP!' The Scorpion yells. 'I'm gonna rip out your spine and beat you over the head with it.'

'You won't be the first one to try, Pinchy.' Todd replies.

'I'M THE SCORPION!' The uh... Scorpion yells. 'STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!'

Todd and Felicia dodge out of the way as the Scorpion's tail whips about wildly.

'Looks to me like he's tryin' to compensate for something, Snookums.' Todd says.

'And how.' Felicia adds.

'I'LL CRUSH YOU!'

'Oh shut up you big baby.' Felicia sighs as she rips out some wires from a lamppost. She then jams them into the Scorpion's backpack, shorting out his tail mechanisms.

'Dammit no!' He yells. 'You'll pay for that!'

'Keep the change.' Todd replies, whomping the Scorpion on the head with a trashcan lid. The Scorpion lets out a grunt before falling to the floor unconscious.

'Well that was fun.' Todd says, throwing the trashcan lid over his shoulder. 'But we can't leave this tail on the guy, it could be dangerous.'

'Here you go.' Felicia replies, handing Todd a shard of glass.

'Thanks Baby Cakes.' Todd says as he takes the shard of glass and begins to saw through the Scorpion's tail. 'You sure do have the most interestin' friends though. Whatever next, your sister doesn't happen to be the Invisible Woman does she?'

'I wish.' Felicia replies. 'Then I could sponge money off her.'

Later-

A random squad of cops turn up and see the Scorpion tied to a lamppost.

'D-don't look at me.' The groggy Scorpion says. 'Don't look at me without my tail...'

The cops struggle to hold in their laughter at the sight of a pitifully wailing Scorpion.

'DON'T LOOK AT MEEEE...'

Brooklyn, meanwhile-

In an abandoned apartment block, someone is plotting revenge. This someone is buff and has short-cropped blonde hair. He is presently pressing weights.

'We will get our revenge.' He says with every weight he presses. 'We will get our revenge. We will get our revenge...'

His bench pressing I interrupted as he hears something outside. He puts down the weights and sits up on the bench. Much to his surprise, the wall to his apartment is smashed in. Once the dust has settled he sees several figures enter. One has four metallic tentacles strapped to his back. Another seems to be levitating on static electricity. One seems to be made completely out of sand. Another has what seems to be a goldfish bowl on his head while the last one is an old guy with wings.

'You will pay for disturbing our peace.' The guy hisses as a black liquid seeps out of his pores and over his body. 'Nobody disturbs Venom!'

'Please, Mister Brock.' The one with the tentacles says. 'We mean you no harm, we merely wish to make you an offer.'

'We know you.' Venom says. 'You're the Octopus. And the Sandman. Electro, the Vulture and Mysterio too.'

'Looks like yer did yer homework buddy.' The Sandman replies. 'So are yer gonna join us or not?'

'Only if we get the Spider to ourselves.' Venom replies. 'WE are going to sup the marrow from his bones.'

'Nice.' Electro winces.

'Very well.' Dr Octopus says. 'We just need to make one more stop and then we will be ready for our revenge.'

'We still need a name though.' The Vulture says.

'You got any ideas old man?' The Sandman asks.

'The Revenge Squad?' He replies.

'That's a terrible idea.' Mysterio replies.

'This coming from the guy with a goldfish bowl on his head.' Electro snorts.

'We wish to call ourselves... The Sinister Six!' Venom adds.

'Hmm, good idea.' Dr Octopus replies, stroking his chin in thought. 'Good thinking, 'The Sinister Six.' I like that, it has a certain ring to it, don't you think?'

'Better than the 'Revenge Squad.' Electro snorts.

'You watch your mouth.' The Vulture replies. 'I was leading a life of crime before you zapped your first lightbulb.'

'Oh go lay an egg you old coot.' Electro sighs.

TBC...

NEXT: What do you get when you cross a bored God of Mischief and three deadly killer robots? The Tri-Sentinel, that's what! Find out what the hell is going on in: 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Three Times the Fun...'