The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man

Chapter 25: The Bachelorette Party

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Needles- Sorry, no plans for Emma Frost in this story, I'm trying to keep it to Spidey-related guest stars.

Red Jeanie- Yup, you can bet that Doc Ock and co are up to something big.

Witch-Uk- Hooray! My 100th review! Here, have a cookie! Check out 'Wanda and Fuzzy' for details as to Wanda's revelation.

Risty- I based that role-play bit form an episode of Buffy. 'Chosen' I think it was.

AnonGirl88- Oh dear, Pyro and a new lighter? Not good. Check out 'Wanda andFuzzy' for Wanda's revelation.

Spawn guy- I guess that Spidey revealed his identity to the X-Men because he wanted their help.

Ldypebsaby- Oh yeah, you can bet that the Bachelorette party's gonna be fun!

Agent-G- Don't worry, Loki will be back to get his revenge, I've got an idea as to how but I'm not gonna tell.

The Brotherhood Boarding House-

The Brotherhood Boarding House was a hive of activity as people went about their business. It was the night of Todd and Felicia's bachelor and bachelorette parties respectively. Wanda (the maid of honour) was rushing about making last-minute preparations. Well, she was rushing as best as she could in her condition. Lance (the best man) however, was just lounging on the sofa.

Wanda finished her call on the phone and looked at him.

'Aren't you going to get ready?' She asked. 'The other guys'll be here soon.'

'It's not like we're going to go out.' Lance replied. 'We're just going to stay in and watch a few movies.'

'You remember what Felicia said about any strippers, right?' Wanda asked.

'Yes.' Lance sighed. 'If she finds even one thong anywhere, I'm as dead as Pietro's masculinity. If we're not allowed a stripper, how come you can go see one?'

'Who said anything about one?' Typhoid replied as she finished putting on her makeup.

'Welcome to the Twenty-first Century.' Wanda smirked as she went to go search for the bride-to-be.

'Damn feminists.' Lance muttered.

'Typhoid?' Wanda called from the stairs.

Typhoid waved her hand and a book flew across the room, hitting Lance upside the head.

'Dammit, ow! That was uncalled for, I thought you only did that kind of stuff to Pietro.'

'You gotta be cruel to be kind, baby.' Typhoid replied with a smirk.

'So you actually like Pietro?' Lance asked.

'Naah.' Typhoid replied. 'That's just pure malice.'

Wanda then came back down with Felicia and Crystal in tow.

'You nearly ready, Typhoid?' Wanda asked. 'It's almost time to go.'

'Just give me a sec.' Typhoid replied as she checked herself in the mirror once more. 'Yup, I'm ready.'

'Enjoy your night, baby cakes.' Todd replied as he came hopping down the stairs after the girls.

'Don't wait up.' Felicia replied as she kissed him on the cheek.

Once they had gone, Todd joined Lance on the couch.

'When's the stripper comin', yo?'

'You remember what Felicia threatened to do if we got one, right?' Lance asked.

'That still don't mean that we can't have one.' Todd replied. 'Just as long as she doesn't find out.'

'Sorry, no can do buddy.' Lance shrugged. 'I'm keeping my word.'

'Great time to get a conscience.' Todd muttered.

Later-

Todd and Lance were joined in the living room by Pietro, Fred and Kurt. Pete had been invited to come along but he politely turned down the offer.

Pietro popped a DVD into the player and sat back to watch.

'What's the first choice of movie, yo?' Todd asked.

'The Bird cage.' Pietro replied proudly.

'Geez, for a guy viz a girlfriend, you sure have a gay choice in movies.' Kurt snorted.

'Alright then, I'll change it.' Pietro sighed as he switched the disc. 'How about Showgirls?'

'That's more like it, yo.' Todd grinned as he downed his beer. 'We might not be able to get a real stripper but there's no stoppin' us watchin' naked chicks on the TV!'

Meanwhile-

The girls arrived in downtown Bayville via taxi. Wanda got out and paid the driver.

'Where to first, girls?' Felicia asked, rubbing her hands eagerly. 'Naked guys or naked guys?'

'You really have a one track mind, you know that?' Crystal chuckled.

'Drinks first, I should think.' Wanda replied. 'Then naked guys.'

'Ooh, this place looks good.' Typhoid said as she stopped outside a random bar.

'Umm Typhoid, that's a Hooters.' Felicia said.

'Right, I knew that...' Typhoid replied, her eyes darting about nervously. 'Let's go get some drinks, okay?'

'She seriously worries me some times.' Wanda said as she shook her head and followed the slightly insane redhead towards a nearby bar.

'How are we going to get in?' Crystal asked. 'None of us are twenty-one.'

'Why do you think God invented fake ideas?' Felicia smirked as she handed out some laminated cards.

Back with the guys-

The guys had finished watching Showgirls and were trying to decide what movie to watch next.

'Wild Things!' Todd yelled.

'No vay!' Kurt replied. 'Road Trip!'

'We could always watch Pietro's Playboy DVDs.' Fred added.

'Good choice.' Todd said.

'Ja, zat's vay better.' Kurt added.

'We just need to decide which one.' Lance sighed.

'Cheerleaders!' Todd yelled.

'Nu-uh, Freshman Class!' Kurt replied.

And so it went on for the rest of the night...

Downtown-

The beer was flowing freely with the girls. Well, if by 'beer' you meant 'Tequila shots' then yes, that was flowing too. Wanda was the only one drinking, for obvious reasons.

'Oh God, I think I'm drunk.' Felicia said as she laid her head on Crystal's shoulder.

'If you think you're drunk, you should see Typhoid.' Wanda replied as she took a sip of her water. 'She's trying to hit on that cigarette machine.'

'When's the stripper coming anyway?' Felicia asked. 'I wanna see naked guys, dammit!'

'Patience Felicia.' Wanda replied. 'You'll get to see your naked guys soon enough.'

'Very soon.' Crystal added as a spotlight illuminated Felicia.

'W-what the hell's going on?'

'I hear somebody has the misfortune to be getting married soon.' A voice said through the speakers. 'Will the lucky, or not-so lucky, lady please stand up?'

Felicia shot up like a shot and waved her hands about wildly.

'It's me! I'm getting married! Bring on the naked guys! Woo-hoo!'

'Remind me not to have her as my made of honour when it comes to my wedding.' Wanda sighed.

Another spotlight hit the stage and several guys dressed as fire fighters walked out form behind the curtains.

'Omigod, Wanda!' Felicia gasped as her hand clasped over her mouth in excitement. 'How did you know I liked fire fighters?'

'Who doesn't?' Wanda replied with a smirk.

The boarding house-

The guys had grown tired of watching naked women and decided to watch something different.

'Dory, watch out!' Todd yelled.

'She'll be alright.' Pietro replied, a little tired of events. 'It's a damn Disney film. Of course she'll be alright!'

'B-but, the jellyfish...' Todd whimpered.

'Mein Gott, how lame are we?' Kurt groaned. 'Todd, zis is your bachelor party, ve should be going out and painting ze town red.'

'Lance didn't want to piss of Felicia.' Fred replied.

'Fair enough.' Kurt shrugged. 'Let's get back to ze movie.'

With all conversation gone, the guys returned their attention back to the TV and the cute little blue fish with shirt term memory loss.

Downtown-

Wanda and Crystal were watching aghast at the sight before them. Felicia and Typhoid had kicked the stripping fire fighters off the stage and were having a water fight with their fire hoses.

'That's it, I'm not going to have a bachelorette party, I'm gonna stay home and watch porn.'

'I think I might join you.' Crystal replied. 'Leave the guys to the strippers.

There was a crash and the sound of retching.

'There's no way that I'm touching that.' Wanda winced. 'Felicia can clean that up herself.'

'Is that even possible with a fire hose?' Crystal winced as she saw Typhoid put the hose where fire hoses aren't supposed to go.

'I really don't want to know.' Wanda replied with a sad shake of her head. 'C'mon, let's go home. We can leave the bride-to-be for the cops to being home.'

END...

Next: The Wedding.

It's finally time for Todd and Felicia's wedding. Who should turn up to spoil the fun? You shall have to wait and see till next time, won't you?