Hippiechick was my super quick reviewer last chapter. Always a pleasure, my dear.

Mac1: I grew up with two sisters…I'm pretty good at making up retarded insults on the spot.

Lil: Did you shag him?

Hand3: Here I am updating for you.

HG Snape: Thank you for your lovely comment. I'm glad you're enjoying this little tale…

Draccy: Well, that was one of the most flattering reviews I've ever read if not the most flattering! I'm humbled that you think so highly of my writing, thank you. As for your questions…well, what is love but the ultimate addiction? So if you're asking if she's addicted to him, I'd have to say yes but only because that is the nature of what we would call love. I've tried to explore it a bit more in this chapter…after some fun fluff, of course.

Extra special A/N: Thank you soooo much to all of you who read and reviewed Blue Lotus. If anyone else happens to read this A/N, I beg you to go and read Blue Lotus and give me some comments…it's very different from what I usually write and I'd love more feedback.

--Aimes

Hermione locked the door behind them and warded it just in case. Wouldn't do to have an overexcited Draco bursting in at a vital moment. And a silencing charm is only polite. Remus wandered over to sit on the bed, leaning against her headboard and watching her. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him as she moved to the window, pulling it open to gaze out over Hogwarts grounds. He's leaving tomorrow. Damn. She took a deep breath, letting her thoughts loose. The breeze hit her, fanning her hair out behind her as she breathed in the scent of rain. This is what I expected, of course. He couldn't stay forever or even very long, and I knew that. It was really a question of which one of us got tapped for a new mission first.

The hands on her shoulders startled her out of her reverie.

"I thought you were just coming to open the windows," Remus teased. Hermione turned to him with a grin.

"It was a ploy to get you standing so I can take your clothes off," she replied.

"Mission accomplished," he laughed, twirling a finger into her curly hair.

"Easiest mission I've had in years," she noted as she let her hands linger at his waist, hooking fingers into his belt loops.

"I've got a mission tomorrow," he said, pulling a face.

"I noticed," she replied wryly, sitting on the window ledge and pulling him closer. She gazed up at him.

"I'll be gone indefinitely," he told her, more quietly. "We're saying goodbye for quite awhile, I should think." He nudged her legs apart so he could stand between them, pressed against her body, and rested his chin on the top of her head. The breeze hit her back and she shivered. Or maybe that's due to his hands tracing patterns on my back.

"Probably," she agreed. "Indefinite missions always end up taking months. If you get killed, I'll be really ticked off," she warned. Hermione turned her head and pressed her ear against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

"Duly noted. Will you resurrect me?" he teased.

"Depends on how well you shag me tonight," she countered. "You'll have to be really good." She felt his breath hitch and his heartbeat quicken, but he controlled himself.

"Is that a challenge?" Remus felt the heat surge through his body.

"Sure is." She smiled against his chest and he felt tingles run down his spine. He stepped backward, pulling her into a standing position. His hands slid down to her waist and he nuzzled her cheek.

"These jeans look uncomfortable," he murmured in her ear. "I think I should do you a favor and remove them." His hands slid around to her front and unfastened the jeans. Within moments they were on the ground and he lifted her out of them.

"I'll have you know those jeans are pretty comfy," she breathed. A shock of wind hit her bare legs from the open window and she shivered.

"Do you want to put them back on?"

"Not really," she conceded. "But if I haven't got pants on, it's only right that you shouldn't have pants on." Her fingers were already working on his pants, and in moments they were on the floor.

"Now who said anything about fairness?" Remus teased. He kicked his pants out of the way and leaned in to kiss her. Hermione raised her hands to grip his shoulders and realized he was holding her wrists tightly against her body. She struggled slightly before pulling back to gaze up at him in confusion. He merely smiled.

Suddenly he lifted her and carried her to the bed where he gripped her wrists above her head once more. Whoa, what's going on? He slid her shirt above her head and with a few twists she was bound to her headboard. He didn't waste time with her bra, simply tearing it to remove it. Remus gazed silently down at her, the animal in him flashing through his eyes. Damn that's hot.

"Remus?" she murmured. He didn't answer but continued to watch her, eyes sparking with intensity. He leaned closer to her and inhaled her scent before nuzzling her neck and darting his tongue out to taste her. Hermione gasped.

Remus wandered down her body, memorizing the taste, smell, and feel of her with agonizing care. He lingered in some spots, kissing and sucking on her, letting his hands trace the shape of her body. He pulled off her panties and tossed them away. His eyes flickered up to catch her gaze before he dipped his head between her legs. Hermione whimpered and struggled as he licked at her. Remus gripped her by the waist to hold her still and glanced up at her before returning to his task. Within moments, Hermione was screaming his name as she came. He continued down her body without comment or pause, and when he finally hit her toes he sucked at a few of them gently. She moaned softly, bits of electricity shooting up her spine.

When he was finished, he rose to his knees moved off the bed, letting his gaze skim possessively over her prone form. Hermione turned her head to watch him, mind still hazy. Remus wasted no time removing the remainder of his own clothing and returning to her. He knelt on the bed between her legs and lowered himself over her. Ever silent, he kissed her once more, staking his claim on her, before thrusting into her swiftly. He stilled himself, absorbing the memory of the way she felt, her muscles clamping around him. Hermione rocked her hips impatiently and he gazed down at her for a moment before withdrawing and thrusting into her once more. Their rhythm built rapidly and Hermione felt climax building in her once more. She gripped him tightly with her legs as she came, crying out raggedly. She heard him whisper her name in her ear reverently as he followed her over the edge.

Remus collapsed against her then shifted to the side, pulling his weight off her. He released her wrists and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling the blankets over them.

That was really good.

Hermione fell into a deep, dreamless sleep in his arms.

Hermione awoke with a start. Why did I wake up? Oh, because he woke up and I felt the change in breathing patterns. Argh, damn training kicks in at the most annoying times. I mean, all I want to do is have a gorgeous post-sex sleep. Is it too much to ask? Why is he awake?

"Why are you awake?" she mumbled against his bare chest.

His arms tightened reflexively before loosening. "Sorry to wake you," he apologized. "I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?" She abandoned the warm comfort of his body to pull away and catch his eye. Late night thinking is never a good sign.

"Nothing in particular," he responded, but she'd caught the flicker in his eyes.

"Don't bullshit me, Remus," she warned. "I've dealt with better liars than you." Hell, I am a better liar than you!

"Sorry," he said with the ghost of a smile. "Forgot. I was just thinking about how things have changed."
"Ah yes, I had that mental dialogue in the shower earlier."

"How'd yours turn out?"

"Well I came to the general conclusion that I should probably talk to you about it since my internal dialogues are not particularly helpful in terms of interpersonal relationships. However if you were ever to go postal and pull a gun on me, my internal dialogue would handle it beautifully."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever 'go postal.'"

"Mmmhmm. So…in your own words from only days ago: communicate," she ordered.

"You first." Hermione raised an eyebrow. Or I could start.

"I was realizing that I've been trained from years to detach from potentially damaging emotions—regret, fear, doubt. A couple of times over the years a particularly bad mission has overloaded my emotional barrier and left me drunk and staring down the barrel of a gun. Which was always fine before, but not so fine now, I suppose."

"Not fine at all," he agreed. "I was thinking about how hard it is to put myself in danger now that I've got you to come home to. And I don't even want to contemplate the idea of you going into a dangerous situation."

"Think of it as motivation to stay alive," she suggested. "That's how I'm looking at it. No one said this would be easy, Remus. We're both used to being alone, I think. I've never really had to worry about someone else. Even my family was so far removed from what I do that they were never a real concern."

"I know," he replied. "After Lily and James died and Sirius went to prison, I became reckless for awhile. I had no one left, though I kept that spark of hope that Sirius would be freed. And after he died…"

"You closed off," she finished quietly. "There was no one left and you didn't want anyone, for that matter. So much easier to contemplate dying if you're not leaving anyone behind." He didn't answer. "No one to leave behind the way the others left you behind," she said gently. Remus stiffened against her, gazing beyond her, out the window. And there we have the crux of the matter.

"I know it's okay to be angry at them," he said, his voice low. "And I'm angry whether I say it or not. I'm angry at James, I'm angry at Lily, and I'm livid at Sirius. That's where I've been for the last decade. Angry and empty and alone. And just when the anger was beginning to fade, Sirius went and got himself killed, leaving me angry again. Only then I was also left with the default responsibility of making sure nothing ever happened to Harry and that he grew up with some semblance of normality, as though I knew what it was. And finally…finally! I did it. Harry was set to grow into a perfectly healthy man, I had a few friends once more, and I was set to live out the rest of my life in relative solitude. I was even free to get myself killed on a mission for the Order. And now…I'm not."

"So you're angry at me," Hermione concluded.

"I don't mean that—" he started. Hermione put her hand on his lips.

"You can be angry at me," she said calmly. "It was easier when I was out of reach for you; when you didn't have a chance at happy ever after."

"I suppose," he admitted. "Easier, but not better. Being in love is hard as hell, but…well, I suddenly understand why some people sacrifice everything for it. So maybe I'm angry. But not at you. I'm angry that I love you so much but I still have to risk losing you like I've lost everyone else."

"I know. But love isn't really optional." And I'm pretty far in love with you, I think. "And in most cases, neither is risk," she continued. "Gods know my life would be a hell of a lot easier without caring for you but there's nothing in the universe that could make me stop."

"So where does that leave us?" he asked.

"It leaves us in love with each other and pragmatically facing the fact that one day one of us may not come back from a mission. And we're choosing to just ignore that thought and enjoy each other while we can."

"That's more or less what I figured," he said with a smile. "I'd like to get back to enjoying now if it's all the same to you."

"Albus will kill us both if you're too tired to go on your mission come morning," Hermione chided.

"I'll die happy," he shrugged. "But maybe you're right." His hands were drifting over her body.

"How very convincing," she said dryly. "What with your wandering hands and all." Remus yawned suddenly.

"Maybe you really are right," he admitted at her pointed look. "But I expect amazing morning sex as a consolation prize." I'm not going to argue! He nestled his face into her hair, letting the clean citrus smell envelop him. "Sing me a song," he requested as his eyes began to close. Hermione chuckled against him.

"I think not, you spoiled werewolf."

"Please?" He broke away from her to hit her with his best sad-puppy look. She chuckled again.

"Fine," she conceded. "What shall I sing?" Remus grinned brilliantly and settled back against her.

"Whatever you want," he replied.

"How bloody helpful," she grumbled. "Let's see then…" she pondered for a moment, racking her brain for a good song.

"Hello, I've waited here for you…everlong. Tonight I throw myself into and out of the red, out of her head she sang. Come down and waste away with me, down with me. Slow how you wanted it to be. In over my head, out of her head she sang: and I wonder when I sing along with you if anything could ever feel this real forever…if anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when, she sang.

"Breathe out so I can breathe you in…hold you in. And now I know you've always been out your head, out of her head, I sang. And I wonder when I sing along with you if anything could ever feel this real forever…if anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when, she sang. And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if anything could ever feel this real forever…if anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when…" She trailed off into silence as she sensed his breathing even out and he slipped into sleep.

Hermione lay awake for a few moments, allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of his arms around her, his body against hers.

Perfect.

A/N: The song is Everlong by the Foo Fighters. You can find it on their album 'The Colour and the Shape.'