Thanks for the reviews everyone. Here is the next chapter!
Lizzie's POV
Four months later.
The window was open blowing in the cool crisp night air of the winter. I was sitting on my bed like I have done so many times before, just thinking. Things have changed a lot in my life in these past four months.
Jason and I are still dating, and everything is going great from his point of view but me, that is another story.
Gordo and Miranda are still together and they are hot and heavy with each other. Every time I turn around they are kissing and caressing one another. I guess you can say I am jealous.
No, I know I am jealous. These feelings were always kinda there but now they are really intense. I find myself making excuses not to hang out with Gordo and Miranda just so I won't become jealous and they figure out why I have been so short with them lately.
At first I thought that I was just jealous because I thought I was losing my two best friends to one another. Then I realized I was jealous because I lost Gordo.
Gordo told me that he was looking for his true love when we finally broke up the correct way. Never in a million years would I have thought Miranda was his true love. I would have thought he would have gone out with Parker or Kate even before Miranda.
I guess she could be considered his true love. I have never seen Gordo so happy and in love. He never looked at me the way he stares at Miranda. I actually saw him watch her study for an hour, with this small smirk on his face. Like he could stay like that forever.
They are always on dates and they just seem so happy together. They even have nicknames for one another. I just wonder why couldn't me and Gordo be like that, why weren't we that happy together. I know I told him I just wanted to be friends and that my feelings changed. I think I just wanted to know what else was out there; now that I have found out I want what was once mine back.
I mean Jason is great. He is the most attentive boyfriend I have ever had. He spoils me beyond recognition, he's a great kisser, and I love him. I am just not in love with him. The only reason I really started dating him was to move on from Gordo. Now I realize that was a big mistake.
I am afraid of hurting Jason but I have to tell him the truth. For that matter I have to tell Gordo and Miranda the truth. I don't want to hurt either one of them but I figure if I tell Gordo the truth he would realize that I made a mistake and take me back. I know that this is a far off dream but it's worth a shot. I have to break it off with Jason.
"Lizzie, dinner is ready" yelled my mom from downstairs.
"I'm not hungry mom" I yelled downstairs out my door.
"Okay baby" she yelled back up.
I lay back down on my bed still pondering the things in my head. The situation that I am in right now is very sticky. Not only am I still in love with Gordo, but Jason just professed his love for me on our four month anniversary date we had last night. That's not the bad thing, I actually said 'I love you too Jason' right back to him.
I am digging the hole deeper and deeper for my self.
I buried my face into my pillow and yelled.
"Lizzie" I heard my mom call me.
I looked up from my pillow. I didn't hear my mom walk into my room and open my door.
"Lizzie, you have been walking around here really depressed lately and I really want to know what is bothering you. I don't like to see you like this" said my mom with the concerned look on her face.
I just looked at her for a little bit. "And don't say nothing because I know you better than you know yourself" she said with a smirk on her face.
I hesitated for a little while but then everything just came flooding out.
"Mom, I am really messed up. I just realized, well let me change that, I have known for awhile that I am still in love with Gordo. And this is really tearing me up inside because he is with Miranda and I am with Jason. Then Jason goes and tells me that he loves me. And I didn't know how to react so I told him that I loved him back even though I am not in love with him. And I know that Gordo really is in love with Miranda but I still love him. I don't want to hurt Miranda and I don't want to hurt Gordo but these feelings are so strong mom and I don't know what I am going to do" I said on the verge of tears.
My mom sat there for a minute thinking about what to say next.
"Lizzie, this is really serious. Both you and Gordo are in relationships with other people. And I know from my observations that Miranda and Gordo are really in love with one another, and they really care about one another and they don't really deserve your indecisiveness about how you feel for Gordo. Especially Miranda" she said seriously.
"Mom I'm not confused about how I feel for Gordo. I really am in love with him" I said fully crying now.
"That's fine Lizzie, but what about Jason, he really loves you and you're just going to break his heart just like you broke Gordo's heart a long time ago. And Miranda what will this do to her, she really is in love with Gordo and she would do any thing for him and you are about to drop this on them. Lizzie I really don't think this is fair to any one including yourself. You're making yourself miserable here and it hurts me to see you like this" she said choking up.
"I know mom, that's why I am asking for your help. I know that you always taught me to be honest about my feelings but me being honest will hurt people's feelings. I'm just at a lost of what to do" I said still crying.
"Well, honey the first thing you need to do is be honest with Jason. He deserves that much from you. You can't go on pretending you are in love with him and you're not. After that Lizzie I can't tell you what to do you have to make that decision on your own. Whether you tell Gordo how you feel or not, remember you have to face the consequences for your actions or lack of" said my mom wiping the tears from my eyes.
I just lay in my mothers arms and cried. I was so confused on the way I was feeling but I knew what she said about Jason was right. I had to tell him I couldn't keep dragging him along in this, he did deserve better than what I was giving him.
While I was still in the arms of my mom I heard the door bell ring. I heard my dad go and answer the door.
"Lizzie, Jason is here to see you" yelled my dad up the stairs.
Perfect just as I was trying to figure out what was going on Jason makes a surprise visit. Maybe this is perfect timing to tell Jason the truth.
"Lizzie are you going to talk to him now" asked my mom.
"Yeah, I guess this is the perfect time" I said still kinda down.
"I'll go tell your father to let him come up so you guys can have some privacy. Remember Lizzie try not to hurt Jason to much" said my mom smiling at me and giving me a kiss on my cheek.
"Okay mom, thanks for the advice" I said.
My mother walked out into the hall and told Jason to come upstairs with me. I heard Jason give my mom a hug and asked how she was doing. They continued to make small talk for a little then Jason said he was coming in to see me. It's now or never.
He walked in and immediately gave me that million dollar smile and gave me a hug.
"I've missed you today" he said giving me a kiss.
"I missed you too Jason" I said knowing that was not entirely true.
"What you been doing today? How come your eyes are so watery? Have you been crying" he asked me with concern in his voice.
I took a deep breath and just looked at him. Before I knew it I was telling Jason we needed to talk.
"I don't like the sound of this" said Jason under his breath.
I took another deep breath and asked him to take a seat on my bed. I looked into the deep brown eyes of his. He had concern on his face but I could tell he was kinda scared of what I was about to say to him. I took another deep breath and looked at him.
"Lizzie its obvious you have something important to tell me so don't beat around the bush please, just tell me" he said.
"Okay" I said. I took another deep breath. "Jason you were correct when you asked me had I been crying. I have been kinda of upset all day" I said.
"Was it because of me" he asked.
"Yes and no. Jason yesterday I had a great time; we were celebrating together and having a blast. Then you told me that you love me. And my immediate response was to say I love you too" I said.
"Are you saying that you made a mistake by saying you love me" asked Jason.
"Well yes and no. Jason I love you but.... I'm not in love with you like you are with me. I have been really selfish in this relationship from the beginning. I knew you really like me and I liked you but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, and I knew that, but I said I would date you anyway. And that wasn't fair to you Jason" I said in one breath.
"Are you trying to break up with me Lizzie" he asked sounding hurt.
I just looked at him.
"Lizzie are you trying to break up with me" he asked a little louder.
"Yes I am" I said just beyond a whisper.
"Why" he asked not looking at me.
"Because I entered this relationship knowing that I wasn't ready to be in one. I kinda knew from the beginning that I was just entering the relationship to get over Gordo. Then when you told me you love me I knew that I couldn't keep this up, I couldn't keep lying to you and dragging you along in this relationship" I said.
"Then why did you tell me you love me, why didn't you tell me this last night before I gave you my heart" he said looking at me with anger in his eyes.
"I don't know. I just reacted" I said starting to cry.
"Lizzie don't start crying. By all rights I should be crying. You are really hurting me right now. But I should blame myself too. I knew that you weren't ready but I wanted to be with you so much that it didn't matter. I figured that if I show you how good of a boyfriend I can be you would eventually fall in love with me. I knew it when we were at the beach that you were not ready for this relationship. I knew it then that you were still in love with Gordo" he said looking up at me.
All I could do was stare at him. "How did you know" I asked him.
"Like I said we were at the beach and when you saw Gordo and Miranda together you totally over reacted. I knew then that you were still in love with him. I just didn't want to believe it. Lately you have been kinda cross with Miranda and Gordo. More so to Miranda then Gordo and I kinda knew then that your true feelings were starting to show, I just didn't want to believe it. Then you told me you loved me last night and I thought I really had won you over, but now I know that it's not true" he said with his voice shaking.
"I'm sorry" I said barely audible.
"Don't apologize Lizzie, you can't help who you fall in love with. Trust me I know" he said.
"Jason I really didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I see I already have. I just want you to know that I really had a good time with you and that I still want us to be friends even though you're kinda mad with me right now" I said.
"Lizzie I said it will be alright. Of course I am hurting right now but any guy would be after a beautiful girl just breaks up with him. But I still love you Lizzie that will never change. Just give me a hug and I promise you we will be cool" he said putting on the fakest smile I ever seen him do.
"Okay". I leaned in and gave Jason a hug. It was a really long hug, I couldn't help but to cry because I knew I had hurt him but he was being a great sport about everything. After ten minutes had went past he let me go.
"I have to go Lizzie" he said standing up.
"Okay, um Jason are we really still friends" I asked kinda unsurely.
"Yes, we still are friends, I would never change that, but I really have to go I told my mom I would be home a long time ago" he said.
"Alright, I will walk you downstairs" I said.
I walked Jason downstairs and we exchanged pleasantries one more time. Once I saw him leave the drive way, I went upstairs. Although I felt bad about breaking up with Jason I also felt relieved. I went to sleep knowing I had done the right thing.
The next day of school I saw Gordo soon as I walked in the building.
"Hey Gordo" I said smiling.
"Ah, hey Lizzie you're kinda happy. I haven't seen you like this in awhile" he said laughing.
"Um, I know. Where is Miranda" I asked.
"She's on her way here" he said. "I heard about you and Jason last night" he said.
"Yeah, I think it was better this way" I said smiling.
"Look Lizzie, I know things didn't work out between you and Jason. But I know there is somebody out there for you, just like I found my true love so will you" he said.
"It's funny you should say that because I think I already have" I said smiling at him.
"What do you mean" he asked looking confused.
"How about I show you" I said. I don't know why but I leaned in and started kissing him.
It could have been my imagination but I think he started kissing me back. I swear this is the best kiss I had ever had from him but as soon as it started it was soon over by this loud earth shattering scream.
Gordo pushes me away and looks down the hall. There stood Miranda with this horrified look on her face. Before I could say anything she turned around and ran. I tried to say something to Gordo but he immediately ran after her. The whole time I hadn't noticed Jason standing right were Miranda had been. All he could do was look at me and shake his head. It was obvious he was hurt. He turned around and ran down the hall.
What the hell have I done? I just ran into the bathroom and banged me head against the wall.
Lizzie's POV
Four months later.
The window was open blowing in the cool crisp night air of the winter. I was sitting on my bed like I have done so many times before, just thinking. Things have changed a lot in my life in these past four months.
Jason and I are still dating, and everything is going great from his point of view but me, that is another story.
Gordo and Miranda are still together and they are hot and heavy with each other. Every time I turn around they are kissing and caressing one another. I guess you can say I am jealous.
No, I know I am jealous. These feelings were always kinda there but now they are really intense. I find myself making excuses not to hang out with Gordo and Miranda just so I won't become jealous and they figure out why I have been so short with them lately.
At first I thought that I was just jealous because I thought I was losing my two best friends to one another. Then I realized I was jealous because I lost Gordo.
Gordo told me that he was looking for his true love when we finally broke up the correct way. Never in a million years would I have thought Miranda was his true love. I would have thought he would have gone out with Parker or Kate even before Miranda.
I guess she could be considered his true love. I have never seen Gordo so happy and in love. He never looked at me the way he stares at Miranda. I actually saw him watch her study for an hour, with this small smirk on his face. Like he could stay like that forever.
They are always on dates and they just seem so happy together. They even have nicknames for one another. I just wonder why couldn't me and Gordo be like that, why weren't we that happy together. I know I told him I just wanted to be friends and that my feelings changed. I think I just wanted to know what else was out there; now that I have found out I want what was once mine back.
I mean Jason is great. He is the most attentive boyfriend I have ever had. He spoils me beyond recognition, he's a great kisser, and I love him. I am just not in love with him. The only reason I really started dating him was to move on from Gordo. Now I realize that was a big mistake.
I am afraid of hurting Jason but I have to tell him the truth. For that matter I have to tell Gordo and Miranda the truth. I don't want to hurt either one of them but I figure if I tell Gordo the truth he would realize that I made a mistake and take me back. I know that this is a far off dream but it's worth a shot. I have to break it off with Jason.
"Lizzie, dinner is ready" yelled my mom from downstairs.
"I'm not hungry mom" I yelled downstairs out my door.
"Okay baby" she yelled back up.
I lay back down on my bed still pondering the things in my head. The situation that I am in right now is very sticky. Not only am I still in love with Gordo, but Jason just professed his love for me on our four month anniversary date we had last night. That's not the bad thing, I actually said 'I love you too Jason' right back to him.
I am digging the hole deeper and deeper for my self.
I buried my face into my pillow and yelled.
"Lizzie" I heard my mom call me.
I looked up from my pillow. I didn't hear my mom walk into my room and open my door.
"Lizzie, you have been walking around here really depressed lately and I really want to know what is bothering you. I don't like to see you like this" said my mom with the concerned look on her face.
I just looked at her for a little bit. "And don't say nothing because I know you better than you know yourself" she said with a smirk on her face.
I hesitated for a little while but then everything just came flooding out.
"Mom, I am really messed up. I just realized, well let me change that, I have known for awhile that I am still in love with Gordo. And this is really tearing me up inside because he is with Miranda and I am with Jason. Then Jason goes and tells me that he loves me. And I didn't know how to react so I told him that I loved him back even though I am not in love with him. And I know that Gordo really is in love with Miranda but I still love him. I don't want to hurt Miranda and I don't want to hurt Gordo but these feelings are so strong mom and I don't know what I am going to do" I said on the verge of tears.
My mom sat there for a minute thinking about what to say next.
"Lizzie, this is really serious. Both you and Gordo are in relationships with other people. And I know from my observations that Miranda and Gordo are really in love with one another, and they really care about one another and they don't really deserve your indecisiveness about how you feel for Gordo. Especially Miranda" she said seriously.
"Mom I'm not confused about how I feel for Gordo. I really am in love with him" I said fully crying now.
"That's fine Lizzie, but what about Jason, he really loves you and you're just going to break his heart just like you broke Gordo's heart a long time ago. And Miranda what will this do to her, she really is in love with Gordo and she would do any thing for him and you are about to drop this on them. Lizzie I really don't think this is fair to any one including yourself. You're making yourself miserable here and it hurts me to see you like this" she said choking up.
"I know mom, that's why I am asking for your help. I know that you always taught me to be honest about my feelings but me being honest will hurt people's feelings. I'm just at a lost of what to do" I said still crying.
"Well, honey the first thing you need to do is be honest with Jason. He deserves that much from you. You can't go on pretending you are in love with him and you're not. After that Lizzie I can't tell you what to do you have to make that decision on your own. Whether you tell Gordo how you feel or not, remember you have to face the consequences for your actions or lack of" said my mom wiping the tears from my eyes.
I just lay in my mothers arms and cried. I was so confused on the way I was feeling but I knew what she said about Jason was right. I had to tell him I couldn't keep dragging him along in this, he did deserve better than what I was giving him.
While I was still in the arms of my mom I heard the door bell ring. I heard my dad go and answer the door.
"Lizzie, Jason is here to see you" yelled my dad up the stairs.
Perfect just as I was trying to figure out what was going on Jason makes a surprise visit. Maybe this is perfect timing to tell Jason the truth.
"Lizzie are you going to talk to him now" asked my mom.
"Yeah, I guess this is the perfect time" I said still kinda down.
"I'll go tell your father to let him come up so you guys can have some privacy. Remember Lizzie try not to hurt Jason to much" said my mom smiling at me and giving me a kiss on my cheek.
"Okay mom, thanks for the advice" I said.
My mother walked out into the hall and told Jason to come upstairs with me. I heard Jason give my mom a hug and asked how she was doing. They continued to make small talk for a little then Jason said he was coming in to see me. It's now or never.
He walked in and immediately gave me that million dollar smile and gave me a hug.
"I've missed you today" he said giving me a kiss.
"I missed you too Jason" I said knowing that was not entirely true.
"What you been doing today? How come your eyes are so watery? Have you been crying" he asked me with concern in his voice.
I took a deep breath and just looked at him. Before I knew it I was telling Jason we needed to talk.
"I don't like the sound of this" said Jason under his breath.
I took another deep breath and asked him to take a seat on my bed. I looked into the deep brown eyes of his. He had concern on his face but I could tell he was kinda scared of what I was about to say to him. I took another deep breath and looked at him.
"Lizzie its obvious you have something important to tell me so don't beat around the bush please, just tell me" he said.
"Okay" I said. I took another deep breath. "Jason you were correct when you asked me had I been crying. I have been kinda of upset all day" I said.
"Was it because of me" he asked.
"Yes and no. Jason yesterday I had a great time; we were celebrating together and having a blast. Then you told me that you love me. And my immediate response was to say I love you too" I said.
"Are you saying that you made a mistake by saying you love me" asked Jason.
"Well yes and no. Jason I love you but.... I'm not in love with you like you are with me. I have been really selfish in this relationship from the beginning. I knew you really like me and I liked you but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, and I knew that, but I said I would date you anyway. And that wasn't fair to you Jason" I said in one breath.
"Are you trying to break up with me Lizzie" he asked sounding hurt.
I just looked at him.
"Lizzie are you trying to break up with me" he asked a little louder.
"Yes I am" I said just beyond a whisper.
"Why" he asked not looking at me.
"Because I entered this relationship knowing that I wasn't ready to be in one. I kinda knew from the beginning that I was just entering the relationship to get over Gordo. Then when you told me you love me I knew that I couldn't keep this up, I couldn't keep lying to you and dragging you along in this relationship" I said.
"Then why did you tell me you love me, why didn't you tell me this last night before I gave you my heart" he said looking at me with anger in his eyes.
"I don't know. I just reacted" I said starting to cry.
"Lizzie don't start crying. By all rights I should be crying. You are really hurting me right now. But I should blame myself too. I knew that you weren't ready but I wanted to be with you so much that it didn't matter. I figured that if I show you how good of a boyfriend I can be you would eventually fall in love with me. I knew it when we were at the beach that you were not ready for this relationship. I knew it then that you were still in love with Gordo" he said looking up at me.
All I could do was stare at him. "How did you know" I asked him.
"Like I said we were at the beach and when you saw Gordo and Miranda together you totally over reacted. I knew then that you were still in love with him. I just didn't want to believe it. Lately you have been kinda cross with Miranda and Gordo. More so to Miranda then Gordo and I kinda knew then that your true feelings were starting to show, I just didn't want to believe it. Then you told me you loved me last night and I thought I really had won you over, but now I know that it's not true" he said with his voice shaking.
"I'm sorry" I said barely audible.
"Don't apologize Lizzie, you can't help who you fall in love with. Trust me I know" he said.
"Jason I really didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I see I already have. I just want you to know that I really had a good time with you and that I still want us to be friends even though you're kinda mad with me right now" I said.
"Lizzie I said it will be alright. Of course I am hurting right now but any guy would be after a beautiful girl just breaks up with him. But I still love you Lizzie that will never change. Just give me a hug and I promise you we will be cool" he said putting on the fakest smile I ever seen him do.
"Okay". I leaned in and gave Jason a hug. It was a really long hug, I couldn't help but to cry because I knew I had hurt him but he was being a great sport about everything. After ten minutes had went past he let me go.
"I have to go Lizzie" he said standing up.
"Okay, um Jason are we really still friends" I asked kinda unsurely.
"Yes, we still are friends, I would never change that, but I really have to go I told my mom I would be home a long time ago" he said.
"Alright, I will walk you downstairs" I said.
I walked Jason downstairs and we exchanged pleasantries one more time. Once I saw him leave the drive way, I went upstairs. Although I felt bad about breaking up with Jason I also felt relieved. I went to sleep knowing I had done the right thing.
The next day of school I saw Gordo soon as I walked in the building.
"Hey Gordo" I said smiling.
"Ah, hey Lizzie you're kinda happy. I haven't seen you like this in awhile" he said laughing.
"Um, I know. Where is Miranda" I asked.
"She's on her way here" he said. "I heard about you and Jason last night" he said.
"Yeah, I think it was better this way" I said smiling.
"Look Lizzie, I know things didn't work out between you and Jason. But I know there is somebody out there for you, just like I found my true love so will you" he said.
"It's funny you should say that because I think I already have" I said smiling at him.
"What do you mean" he asked looking confused.
"How about I show you" I said. I don't know why but I leaned in and started kissing him.
It could have been my imagination but I think he started kissing me back. I swear this is the best kiss I had ever had from him but as soon as it started it was soon over by this loud earth shattering scream.
Gordo pushes me away and looks down the hall. There stood Miranda with this horrified look on her face. Before I could say anything she turned around and ran. I tried to say something to Gordo but he immediately ran after her. The whole time I hadn't noticed Jason standing right were Miranda had been. All he could do was look at me and shake his head. It was obvious he was hurt. He turned around and ran down the hall.
What the hell have I done? I just ran into the bathroom and banged me head against the wall.