Title: The Potter-boy Problem

Author: Roslyn Drycof

Chapter: Seven: Closet Problems

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Voldemort has a new plan to get rid of the "Potter-boy Problem". A reluctant Draco Malfoy is ordered to carry it out, but things don't go as planned. He isn't as obedient as the Dark Lord would like and loses control at a crucial time. Whoops! HD, mpreg

Warning: Themes of slash, swearing, mpreg, and angst

Pairing: HPDM (also: RWHG, GWNL and others)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form.

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Three hours later, they sat in the Hog's Head, sipping their drinks. Both were disappointed they couldn't have anything stronger than gingerale, but alcohol was off-limits for the next seven months.

Harry now had an entire new wardrobe that had likely cost a fortune, but he didn't know exactly how much. Malfoy hadn't let him look at the receipt, saying he didn't need to know the price of looking better. Harry thought Malfoy was being stupid, but oh well.

For the past few minutes, the blond had been staring at him, a look of growing impatience in his silver-grey eyes. Harry knew he wanted to know what he'd been planning earlier. But it never hurt to draw things out, did it?

Finally, Draco cracked. "Potter, just freakin' tell me!"

Oh. . .so Malfoy ended up resorting to common speak. Wow. Stifling a laugh, Harry took another sip of his gingerale. "Okay, okay. I was just thinking about how so many students have talents that could be useful in the war and yet Dumbledore doesn't want any more people to get hurt that don't need to."

"Yeah, I know. What about it?"

Taking a deep breath, he leaned closer to his former rival and said quietly, "What if we create a secret group that'll help work towards defeating Voldemort."

"You're crazy," Draco burst out, disbelief in his silver eyes.

"No, I'm not. The DA group a couple years ago was pretty helpful in teaching a lot of defense spells. If the right people were recruited, we could end up with a formidable group to fight against the Death Eaters."

The other boy whispered harshly, "Did you forget one little complication? We're pregnant! There's no way I'm putting myself in danger, especially since I'm at the top of Voldie's shit list."

Hmm. That did prove to be an obstacle. "We can be the brains and not go do anything dangerous."

"Hah! Like they'd believe that. You're the Boy-Who-Lived-Six-Times! You love risking your neck, and heck, I'm not one to sit on the sidelines and just watch either. And everyone knows it. If you can't do your dirty work yourself, then just don't do it at all. That's my motto."

Harry snorted. "Never pegged you as the motto-carrying type."

"Stuff it, Potter. But seriously, there's no way anyone would believe you and I would just sit back and let others put themselves in danger for us."

"We have a big opportunity to do some real damage, though! And you agreed to help me destroy Voldemort." A sullen look appeared on the emerald-eyed teen's features.

Draco sighed and stared into his mug. "I know. I'm just scared of losing the baby. I do want to stop that monster, but what can we do in our conditions?"

"Okay. How about this? We form a group that'll be composed of trading defensive and offensive spells, and maybe a little bit of gathering intelligence on the Death Eaters. Anyone who wants to can sign up to do a little researching on their activities. And. . .you can only sign up if you're not a student at Hogwarts."

"Then who'd we have to do it if it's a school-based group?"

"Whoever said it was school-based group? We can use the Shrieking Shack to meet every couple weeks or so and get anyone we trust to join. Like the Weasley twins. They're what made me think of the idea. They are a lot smarter than people think, and they just hide it behind their practical jokes. Seriously, could a stupid person think up some of the stuff they do?"

Draco was silent for a few moments before he grinned. "Nope. I always thought there was something fishy about their "thick-headed Gryffindorish" appearance. They should've been in Slytherin. Playing tricks are what we do best."

"Actually, Gryffindors can play tricks quite well. My dad was a pro, along with all his friends."

"Like Black? I heard my father talking about them before. As much as I hate to admit it, they were always one step ahead of everyone else." Draco mock-sighed.

They shared a grin. Then they noticed the time and panicked. They'd be in so much trouble if they didn't get back to school immediately. Draco dumped some money on the table and they ran out of the tavern.

"I don't think running is recommended right now," Harry panted as they turned the corner.

Draco agreed with him. They slowed down to a fast walk. Luckily, they weren't the only students bordering on late. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan were right behind them.

As the two Gryffindors caught up, Harry saw Seamus stuffing candies into his mouth and knew exactly why they were late.

"Couldn't pry him away again?" He commented to Dean.

The tall boy shook his head and leaned closer to Harry to whisper, "Didn't want to. He was acting pretty normal today and I kind of liked it. I hate how he's changed."

Harry commiserated with him. "I know what you mean. I think it's because he's being ragged on for being gay. Being perverse like he always is, he's throwing it back in their faces by pretending to be a flamer."

A sad look entered Dean's dark eyes. "Yeah, I figured it was something like that. It hurts to see him hiding behind that act, though. Can't get through to him anymore. And no matter what I do, he won't stop."

"What he needs is to not be the only "out" gay in our year," Harry said without thinking, before clapping a hand over his mouth.

Draco overheard this comment and burst out laughing. "What, are you outing yourself?"

The emerald-eyed teen glared at him. "I am not gay."

Seamus came up to them and giggled, "I heard you were at least bisexual. Ron told us what happened in the showers earlier."

Harry flushed beet-red. "I'm going to kill him!"

Dean gaped at him. "You mean it's true? I thought Ron was just leading us on."

"Oh, if Weasley told you how I told him Potter and I shagged, then it's all true."

"Malfoy!" Harry yelled, smacking the blond's shoulder.

Draco winced, rubbing his offended shoulder. "Ow. That hurt."

"It meant to! Why'd you have to get all arrogant and conceited and tell them?"

Seamus interrupted any reply the Slytherin was about to make. "Oh, I know why. You're like the hottest guy at Hogwarts. Why wouldn't he want to boast it? When you do it again, can I watch?"

"Seamus! There's going to be no next time. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event."

Draco waggled his eyebrows and whispered conspiratorily, "Not if I get my way."

Harry blushed again. "You won't."

Looking hurt, Malfoy said, "So you were just leading me on this morning with that kiss?"

Seamus instantly grinned from ear to ear. "Kiss? You two kissed? Oh, I'd die if I got to see you two kiss."

"Seamus!" Dean growled, crossing his arms.

"What? They're the two hottest guys I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on! I bet even you wouldn't be able to ignore a kiss from them."

"Oh yes I would." Dean glared at the Irish teen.

Harry made a decision. He knew Dean would probably kill him for it, but it was for the best. "Actually, I know otherwise."

Dean gasped. "What do you mean?" He looked a little panicky.

"Let's just say that one Gryffindor is out of the closet, one has one foot in and one foot out of the closet, and another is firmly in the closet. And I'll prove it."

Harry pointed to Seamus. "Seamus is out of the closet." He then pointed to himself, "I am half in and half out of the closet. Bisexual, I believe the term is."

He turned to face Malfoy and stared appreciatively for a few moments at the blond. Then he leaned close and pressed his lips against Draco's.

Draco had known what Potter was planning from the moment that idiot closet-hogger had said what he did. And he wasn't averse to sharing a lip-lock, even if it was only to prove a point.

With relish, the Slytherin wrapped his arms around Potter and slid his tongue into the other boy's warm mouth. Harry moaned, tangling his tongue with Draco's. His hands buried themselves in silken blond hair and he pressed his body against Malfoy's.

After a few minutes, they broke apart, panting. Harry turned to look at Dean, who was shifting from foot to foot with a red-faced look on his face. Seamus was next to him, a happy I've-died-and-gone-to-heaven look on his features.

"And you, Dean, are stuck in a closet." The raven-haired teen pointed to Dean, his finger pointing a little lower than where he'd pointed at Seamus.

Seamus turned to look where Harry was pointing and gasped in shock. Dean. . .had a hard-on! "Dean!"

Flushing bright red, Dean glared at Harry. "I can't believe you. How'd you find out anyway?"

"For a while, I was in denial about being bisexual. I learned to recognize the signs of denial about orientation. You don't shower with everyone else. You never play Truth or Dare on the mischance you might be forced to admit something you don't want to. You. . .no, I won't be that mean. But I think you know what I was about to say."

Dean nodded, a look of gratification on his face. "I guess you got me. I just don't want to be given shit for something I can't help."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and said, "Why would you want to be able to help it? It's heaven, much better than with girls."

Harry turned to him with shock in his eyes. "You mean you're. . .?"

The blond shrugged. "I'm still bisexual if that's what you mean. I just find that I prefer guys more."

Seamus blurted out, "And you're right to. Guys are yummy!"

Dean turned his glare to the Irish boy. "Stop acting like that. I'm sick of you pretending to be a flamer when I know you're not. Stop it!"

The shorter boy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You act so goddamned GAY all the time when I know you aren't like that. So what if your sexual orientation is different from most people's. That doesn't mean you have to act like the stereotypical gay guy."

Seamus stared at the ground for a few minutes. "It's easier to. People expect it, so why don't I just pretend? It's easier to have them picking on something that isn't real than to have them picking on little stuff that is real."

Harry made another decision. "Well, I won't let you. And I won't let Dean stay in the closet either. If we all act as if our sexual preferences don't matter, then the people who've been ragging on you won't be able to do it as easily. They only do it because they're stupid and they like how it bothers you."

Seamus and Dean considered this for a while and then nodded. Dean mumbled, "Okay."

And then Seamus perked up and asked, "Does that mean you and Malfoy will kiss more? And in public?"

It was Draco who answered, "Oh yes. I think that's a wonderful idea."

Harry outwardly sighed with resignation, while inside, he felt anticipation curling through him at the thought of kissing Malfoy. Kissing that gorgeous specimen of a guy again and again and again. . .it was going to be heaven on earth. A naughty heaven, but paradise nonetheless. And he couldn't wait. . .Mine, all mine. . .

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Yep, I know I haven't updated in almost a month. And yeah, I know this chapter is really short compared to my other ones. But I've been drifting out of focus lately on my writing and left this chapter to molder in my computer's hardrive. I just finished a five-page critical analysis essay on The Scarlet Letter which is due tomorrow as part of my summer assignments for AP English. It's midnight right now and I'm turning it in at noon. I had the entire summer to do it and I end up finishing it the day before it's due. Aren't I an idiot of a procrastinator? Well, I finished the essay and decided to check on what I'd written of this chapter. And I decided that updating was more important than coming up with pointless crap when I could end the chapter right where it is and have it be perfectly fine. So, here you are. A new chapter, short but there. Enjoy!

I also want to thank the people who've been faithfully reviewing my pitiful excuse for a fanfiction involving our two favorite Hogwart's Sex Gods. Hmm. . .that reminds me. The 4th month of their "condition" is coming up, and you know what that means. . .delicious, hot sexiness between one Slytherin Ice Prince and one Golden Boy. Ooh, yay! I can't wait to get writing. Maybe a few reviews will fuel my desire to churn out another chapter before school starts in six, no, make it five, days. Please tell me any comments you have involving the very near future of Harry and Draco!

Much love, Roslyn Drycof. . .