Say Goodbye by Jo. R
Spoilers: SG1 two-parter 'The Lost City'. General knowledge of Atlantis, 'The Storm'
Category: Angst, vignette, thoughts.
Summary: A gap-filler for 'The Storm' and 'The Eye' – speculation on the few minutes immediately after 'The Storm' ended.
Disclaimer: Atlantis is no more mine than SG-1 was. SciFi, MGM, Stargate Productions et al are the ones with the reigns and the big bucks. I'm just having a little money-free fun.
As soon as she heard those words, as soon as she realised the gun was pointed at her for a reason, Elizabeth Weir felt her heart stop.
Time slowed to a maddening pace and her mind whirled, considering the possibilities, trying to find a solution, a way out.
She was always the ones with the solutions. With the diplomatic answers that ended conflict and saved lives.
How ironic that her mind should fail her when it was her own life at stake.
She didn't so much see her life flash before her eyes but she did all of a sudden remember certain things, events that had shaped her in some small way. Memories that had changed the direction her life had taken.
Her parents divorcing when she was twelve years old, her first experience of conflict and failure in trying to resolve it.
Her graduation, attended by them both. Her parents announcing that they were going to give their marriage another chance almost ten years after they'd originally called it quits. Giving her hope, giving her confidence.
Making her believe she could do the job she'd chosen because she'd helped them find their way back to each other.
Her first big challenge, her first major conflict. Fighting opposition, ignoring the eyes rolled when she was brought in. Ignoring the whispered comments, some in English, some in a language they weren't aware she spoke fluently and could easily understand.
"How is this girl going to help us? She's younger than my daughter."
"But not much older than your new wife?"
The laughter, the derision.
The pleasure at proving them wrong. The satisfaction of having been able to achieve something they couldn't.
Earning respect from her peers, grudgingly in most cases but deservedly in all.
Meeting Simon.
Kissing him for the first time.
Meeting the President, learning about the SGC. The disbelief, the certainty that someone somewhere was playing a practical joke of cosmic proportions on her.
The awe at finally seeing it for herself. The anxiety she felt on meeting the infamous the SG-1, the fear that the world might be ending so suddenly after revealing one of its biggest secrets to her.
The relief, the sympathy when it was all over. Having to face Doctor Jackson and the then Major Carter and Teal'c and tell them there was nothing she could do, that they all had to accept Colonel O'Neill was lost to them for the foreseeable future.
Meeting the Goa'uld. Bluffing. Remembering the poker games her father had let her sit in on, trying to hone and use the skills she'd learned there to trick the Goa'uld into thinking they were stronger, more powerful than they really were.
The joy when they pulled it off.
The sadness when she was told she would be leaving the SGC, quickly replaced by excited apprehension when she found out where she'd be going instead.
Saying goodbye to Simon before she set off for Antarctica. The wondering why it didn't hurt as much as it should have done.
The amazement at encountering such a dedicated group of people. The slight pang of envy when Major Sheppard managed to get the device working without so much as breaking into a light sweat.
The almost smug relief when General O'Neill told her the Major had agreed to join her team.
The Stargate working. Reaching Atlantis.
Dizzying awe and stunned enthusiasm for the new world they'd discovered and then the all-
consuming disappointment when it looked like their adventure would reach an abrupt end so soon.
The friendships beginning to form and replace the formality of command. The laughter, the suspicion, the guilt.
The tears she let no one see, the relief every time one of her teams made it back through the Stargate in one piece.
The sorrow for those that didn't.
The guilt that came with the realisation that one team mattered more to her than the rest, that came with the realisation that she didn't care if she never got home.
If she never went back to Simon.
The realisation that she could be happy on Atlantis. Very happy. Happier than she'd ever expected herself to feel so far away from home.
Knowing it was because of them, because of him.
Because of the way he smiled at her, the way he made her smile. The way he'd been the first to see her as more than a bossy civilian, the way he never made her feel like she had to keep her distance because she was the boss and a sense of propriety had to remain.
The thought of losing what they'd so recently gained, of the magnificent city once again drifting to the bottom of the ocean.
The thought of losing the people she'd come to look at as her friends, her first true friends. Her new Atlantis family.
"You don't want to do that." Rodney, McKay jumped to her defence when he seemed to realise she was too stunned to negotiate for her own life. His hand wrapped around the gaping flesh wound the cold, cruel man in front of them had inflicted earlier. "Doctor Weir is a valuable hostage. She's our leader. Kill her and you won't get anything from us."
Commander Kolya sneered but he wasn't really listening to McKay.
He was listening to the radio, to Major Sheppard.
To John who was shouting for him, the sound of the swelling storm in the background almost swallowing his voice.
Almost covering his desperation.
Koyla brought his eyes up to meet hers and the sneer turned into a smirk. "Goodbye, Doctor Weir."
Elizabeth let her eyes close momentarily but open them again quickly, refusing to be intimidated by this man.
Determined to stare her killer in the eye.
Fini