Chapter 17- Gone but not forgotten (You all please let me know if you still
like the story, you guys have been quiet here lately.)
Gordo kneeled in front of his parents' graves. Today was a special day for them. Their twentieth wedding anniversary would have been today. He placed a bouquet of flowers in the vase on their headstone. He rose but continued to stare at the graves. He began to speak out loud to no one in particular. "Why did you have to leave me? Why didn't anyone ask me if I was ready for you to go away? No one checked to see if I was ready to be on my own. And why both of you at once? Why can't I still have one of you? I guess because you just couldn't stand to be apart." He paused, took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Somehow that doesn't comfort me. I wake up everyday hoping it was all just a bad dream. I tell everyone I'm doing ok and I guess I am, but I miss both of you so damn much. Maybe this is God's way of making me stronger. I'm sure I'll appreciate it someday, but today I'd rather be weak and still have you. All this love people have shown me, all their well wishes, all of my faith and trying to understand helped I suppose. I. This still hurts so much. And I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it because I can't convince myself that they will understand. I have people who love me I know but.. I feel like I'm alone. No matter how much I try to convince myself against, I feel like I am alone." Gordo had to stop because his emotions had overcome him and the tears were now flowing. During his tirade to the gods he had not noticed the person approaching him from behind. When she saw Gordo's emotions take over him she decided to make her move. She positioned herself to his side but he still did not notice her presence.
"Hey, are you ok?" Miranda asked empathically of her friend although it was obvious that he was not.
Gordo gathered himself enough to spit out a very unconvincing, almost cold, "I'm fine."
"No you're not, you're a wreck." Miranda corrected Gordo as she moved in front of him and made him look at her. She looked him with her best, 'you're not getting out of this' look and continued. "I heard part of what you said Gordo. I won't pretend to know exactly how you feel because I don't. I do know that you are still in a lot of pain and that you feel alone. I can't do anything about the pain David. If I could, I would and you know that but the truth is that nothing and no one but time can help you with the pain of this. All I can do is be a shoulder for you to cry on, and my shoulder will always be yours to cry on whenever you need it.
And Gordo, look at me when I say this." She paused as she put her hand on his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes, and looked at him with all the love she had in her heart. "Gordo I know you feel alone and I know why you do but you shouldn't because we.. I'll always be there for you. You should never feel alone because no matter what I will always be by your side, because I owe you that and because I love you. I love you.. as your friend and as your.. sister." Miranda finished, hoping that he didn't catch the unsure ness in her voice that was present when she said the word sister. She had to force herself to not say what she was wanted dearly to say. Today was not the day to tell David Gordon that she was falling in love with him. She would tell him but here and now was simply not the time to tell him. Right now he needed a friend far worse than a girlfriend.
Gordo embraced her in a hug that she eagerly returned. While he embraced her he hid a look in his eye that said what he was thinking. A part of him wished she had said something else besides sister. That part of him was growing stronger by the day. Right now though he was in no state to deal with these emotions within himself much less deal with them to the person they were about. Right now he hugged her and buried the emotions away before she could see them in his eyes. He let go and asked her, "What are you doing here anyway?"
"You know its funny I suddenly felt the urge to come visit my relatives here. I guess I know why now," She answered honestly.
"Ok," Gordo stated deciding to even attempt to understand that last statement.
"Come on, let us give you a ride home," Miranda told Gordo as she put her arm around him and led him to her mother's car.
Gordo kneeled in front of his parents' graves. Today was a special day for them. Their twentieth wedding anniversary would have been today. He placed a bouquet of flowers in the vase on their headstone. He rose but continued to stare at the graves. He began to speak out loud to no one in particular. "Why did you have to leave me? Why didn't anyone ask me if I was ready for you to go away? No one checked to see if I was ready to be on my own. And why both of you at once? Why can't I still have one of you? I guess because you just couldn't stand to be apart." He paused, took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Somehow that doesn't comfort me. I wake up everyday hoping it was all just a bad dream. I tell everyone I'm doing ok and I guess I am, but I miss both of you so damn much. Maybe this is God's way of making me stronger. I'm sure I'll appreciate it someday, but today I'd rather be weak and still have you. All this love people have shown me, all their well wishes, all of my faith and trying to understand helped I suppose. I. This still hurts so much. And I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it because I can't convince myself that they will understand. I have people who love me I know but.. I feel like I'm alone. No matter how much I try to convince myself against, I feel like I am alone." Gordo had to stop because his emotions had overcome him and the tears were now flowing. During his tirade to the gods he had not noticed the person approaching him from behind. When she saw Gordo's emotions take over him she decided to make her move. She positioned herself to his side but he still did not notice her presence.
"Hey, are you ok?" Miranda asked empathically of her friend although it was obvious that he was not.
Gordo gathered himself enough to spit out a very unconvincing, almost cold, "I'm fine."
"No you're not, you're a wreck." Miranda corrected Gordo as she moved in front of him and made him look at her. She looked him with her best, 'you're not getting out of this' look and continued. "I heard part of what you said Gordo. I won't pretend to know exactly how you feel because I don't. I do know that you are still in a lot of pain and that you feel alone. I can't do anything about the pain David. If I could, I would and you know that but the truth is that nothing and no one but time can help you with the pain of this. All I can do is be a shoulder for you to cry on, and my shoulder will always be yours to cry on whenever you need it.
And Gordo, look at me when I say this." She paused as she put her hand on his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes, and looked at him with all the love she had in her heart. "Gordo I know you feel alone and I know why you do but you shouldn't because we.. I'll always be there for you. You should never feel alone because no matter what I will always be by your side, because I owe you that and because I love you. I love you.. as your friend and as your.. sister." Miranda finished, hoping that he didn't catch the unsure ness in her voice that was present when she said the word sister. She had to force herself to not say what she was wanted dearly to say. Today was not the day to tell David Gordon that she was falling in love with him. She would tell him but here and now was simply not the time to tell him. Right now he needed a friend far worse than a girlfriend.
Gordo embraced her in a hug that she eagerly returned. While he embraced her he hid a look in his eye that said what he was thinking. A part of him wished she had said something else besides sister. That part of him was growing stronger by the day. Right now though he was in no state to deal with these emotions within himself much less deal with them to the person they were about. Right now he hugged her and buried the emotions away before she could see them in his eyes. He let go and asked her, "What are you doing here anyway?"
"You know its funny I suddenly felt the urge to come visit my relatives here. I guess I know why now," She answered honestly.
"Ok," Gordo stated deciding to even attempt to understand that last statement.
"Come on, let us give you a ride home," Miranda told Gordo as she put her arm around him and led him to her mother's car.