Wufei and the Attack of the Frilly, Pink Underwear
Ren: Wuhahaha...
Wufei: Oh the injustice. How could you let her do this to me?
Ren: What have I done now?
Wufei: Your gonna put me... Ren clamps hand over Wufei's mouth
Ren: Shhh you'll take all the fun out of reading this fic even though its a oneshot.
Wufei walks of muttering about women and injustice Rest of Gundam wing snigger at Wufei
Ren: Awww don't be mean. But since he's gone lets carry on with the fic.
Gundam wing: Your pure evil Renity, pure evil...
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing, so there no need to be mean and sue is there now?
Warning: This fic might contain yaoi and shounen-ai so if you don't like then don't read that's the warning. So please don't flame.
"speech"
/thought/
Chapter 1
It was a cloudy Tuesday morning, and Duo was fiddling with his long brown braid on the black, leather couch in the safe house living room. Heero was typing on his laptop in the corner and muttering non-coherent words under his breath. Trowa and Quatre were 'washing up' in the kitchen, occasionally you could hear giggles and muffled moans coming from the vicinity of behind the kitchen door. Wufei had disappeared upstairs after the last mission and hadn't come down since. All they had heard from him before he ventured upstairs was the odd curse and something about pink, frilly justice.
Flashback
Friday
Duo was rolling around on the floor with his hands clasped together like a gun. "Die. Die, you evil Oz scum...Pow". Duo pretended to shoot someone. Heero was watching from the safety of the stairs, he looked slightly amused as his Duo played, 'lets kill the evil Oz guys and act like idiots' game, and small smile played across Heero's lips. Quatre and Trowa were...ahem... kissing you could say on the kitchen table. Wufei had given up trying to reason with them about how they would have to eat on the table after they had finished. So Wufei had retreated to the kitchen after chucking his prized wooden spoon at the pair. He was currently making ginger bread men ...well actually they looked more like mutated ginger bread aliens, but no one would question his cooking abilities. After all they were starting to look and taste better. As usual Wufei was moaning (not that sort of moaning, for all you perverted people out there) about women's work and stupid gumdrop buttons.
Though it didn't seem that way, they had all just come back from a mission except for Quatre, who had stayed behind in his little pink apron to tidy the safe house.
End flashback
Trowa and Quatre finished washing up and came back into the living room. Heero looked up from his work and stared at the two.
"I see you two are finished washing up," Stated Duo before picking himself of the couch and onto Heero's lap. Heero wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned his head on Duo's shoulder.
"Yep all done, washing up is quite...fascinating, don't you agree Quatre?" asked Trowa smirking.
"Yeah," replied Quatre turning a remarkable shade of magenta. "Erm...shouldn't someone go up and see if Wufei is alright?"
"Nah, Wu-man will be fine," Duo said, before turning back to play with Heero's messy bangs.
"Im just a bit worried about him, you know he hasn't come down at all for about five days. I don't think he's eaten either."
"Wont he be dead then?" asked Duo suddenly interested in the conversation.
"No," jumped in Heero, he had remained silent the whole time and decided to add his two pence worth. "Wufei is not that sort of person, anyway he has had something to eat."
"Wha... What do you mean, he hasn't eaten at all since Friday." Asked Quatre slightly confused.
"No, he has eaten, he comes down at about three every morning to get food and takes it all back upstairs." Duo and Trowa just watched this brief interchange of knowledge before Quatre looked suddenly shocked.
"I know why he hasn't come down! I tidied his room on Friday and...er... found something rather strange" responded Quatre blushing an even darker shade of crimson. They all looked at each other wondering what this thing was, and what could make the Chinese boy not come down out of his room.
"Must've been something really embarrassing to make Wu-man not come down. I mean come on he's like got no emotions. I feel sorry for him really, I mean he hasn't really got anyone. I mean look, I've got that sexy god" Duo smirked as he pointed to Heero who just blushed slightly before returning to his normal sate of 'im-cold-and-heatless-so-get-out-of-my-way-before-I-blast-you-all-to-hell'look. "And you and Quatre have each other, so basically there's no one left for Wu to have now is there. So it's all a bit unfair. But back to the main subject, what did you find in his room Quatre?"
"It's personal to Wufei. So I don't think I should tell you. It's up to him what he does in his private time, not us, its not fair for us to judge him." muttered Quatre as Duo backed him up into the wall. /I shall not tell them/.
Flashback
Quatre was busy tidying up the safe house. With five teenage boys doing what they pleased in a small house, the entire building therefore was in complete chaos and it was quite surprising that it was still standing. Quatre had already managed to complete the bottom floor of the house, and everything had a place. It was all so shiny and pretty...ahhh.... ahem. Quatre moved slowly up to the second floor with his little pink duster and can of Mr Sheen. After three more hours of strenuous cleaning Quatre eventually came to Chang Wufei's room. He pondered slightly if he really wanted to go inside and challenge the stoic black-haired teenager to his right to privacy, but decided that it would be better to be killed for cleaning the room, than to be killed for not cleaning his room and leaving him out.
Quatre ventured inside the room, clutching tightly to his duster. He walked over to the light switch and turned it on. (I've given up trying to make this fic sound remotely normal, so just let your imagination fly...). He stared around the room in disbelief, it was reasonably tidy and by far the tidiest room he had come across. The bed was made and most of the clothes were in their respectful draws. So, Quatre just got out his duster and started to clean, moving closer to the bed he noticed a pile of books and magazines. Quatre went over and started to flick through some of the magazines. As Quatre flicked through the pages he realised something was very wrong. They were all girls' magazines, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Red, all the magazines were about women and make-up. /what could Wufei possibly want with all these sort of magazines/ thought Quatre. He turned onto the books, the women's guide to shaving legs, what to do when a man is not around, 1001 ways to make your life interesting by touch, the missing spark- in your life straight style and the secret to shaving. More or less all the books Quatre had found were about women, so this left Quatre feeling very confused to why Wufei would have these less than ten feet away from his bed. He decided that whatever weird reason there was to this, it was nothing to do with him. Quatre stood up and carried on cleaning, but it wasn't long before Quatre found something that would make him wake up sweaty and screaming. He walked over to the chair in the corner of the room. He started to polish the chair carefully, but something out of the corner of his eye caught his eye. He twisted himself round so he could faintly see what was behind the chair. It was fairly small and pink, and it definitely had white frills on it. He stretched his arm out behind the chair and tried to grab the object. His fingers brushed against some smooth silky fabric. /what the hell is that/ wondered Quatre as he curiously stretched out further to reach the piece of material. He reached the cloth and grabbed it pulling it slowly out of the gap between the wall and the chair. He stared stunned at the object in his fingers. It was underwear. But no, not just any type of underwear, but they were, pink, frilly, with tiny little bows on the front, definitely feminine. Obviously women's underwear!!
End Flashback
"I know lets just go upstairs and see him, he can say that he's okay come down and that's that, what do you say Heero?" asked Duo letting go of Quatre's collar.
"Fine, but you owe me Duo" was Heero's reply. They walked upstairs Duo bounding up first, two steps at a time. The eventually came to a stop outside Wufei's room, after making a quick stop outside Duo's room to get something.
"What was all that about?" mused Trowa as Duo put something into his trouser pocket. They knocked on Wufei's door there was no answer. /Maybe he is dead/ thought Duo.
"Let's just go in and get this over and done with," muttered Heero as he stepped forward to open the door. He turned the handle slowly and opened the door a crack and everyone peered inside. Wufei was sitting on the floor half naked wearing a tight, black leather top and pink, frilly women's knickers with his hair in a high ponytail and white waxing strips on his legs. There was a sudden intake of breath from the group around the door. Wufei's head snapped up and his eyes were open and blazing.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, this is my personal space, get lost. NOW." The enraged Chinese stood up and ran to the door, but not before Duo had whipped out a camera from his pocket and taken a quick picture of Wufei. Before running of like a madman out of the now dangerous safe house. The rest followed suite and ran out of the house practically bursting into fits of laughter now the shock had worn off. All they could here was more curses and fuming words about privacy and no justice in the world today.
"How did you know that you'd need a camera?" muttered Heero as wide smirk played across his face. He new they would pay for what they did later, but for that picture it was worth it.
"Just call it a hunch" mumbled Duo as he ran for his life a now furious Chinese pilot running after them, screaming an amazing amount of curses that was never thought possible until now. /Well at least they didn't check the closet/ thought Wufei as he tore after the terrified pilots. Oz was nothing compared to Wufei caught in women's pink, frilly underwear.
End
Ren: I think I'll finish there
Wufei: I hate you
Ren: That's it let all your anger out...
Wufei: How could you do that to me, even a photo!
Ren: Because I'm evil, you never know I might even do a sequel
Wufei: I really hate you, now go.
Ren: ok ok don't get your knickers in a twist...hehehe...pleeease review; you never know if I get lots of reviews I might just do a sequel. . Ahhh Wufei's looking like he's gonna kill someone so I think I'll go now runs of screaming into the distance remember review...
Wufei: Renity doesn't own Mr Sheen or any name of magazines or books featured in this fic. Im gonna kill a certain authoress now bi.